Date: Sun, 22 Apr 2012 12:16:42 -0700 (PDT)
From: Sbin Nibs <sbinnibs@yahoo.com>
Subject: Tony 2 Toni 4 Cousin - chapter 2

Tony 2 Toni 4 Cousin - Chapter 2

"How about desert with Wendy and Aunt Ruth?" Mom asked after lunch.  "We
could go to Jahn's Ice Cream Parlor."

"Sure, alright!" I exclaimed.  That was worth missing `Get Smart' reruns on
TV.

"Great.  So then I'll start running the bath for you."

"What?  Why I'm gonna take a bath now?  I always take them before bed."

"Because this a girl's day out and there's no room for a stinky boy" she
laughed.

"I don't stink" I huffed while sniffing my armpits.  "But I'm a boy so it
can't be a girl's day out."

"Well, the boys' train just left the station with you behind my dear,"
referring to my father and older brother having left for a lecture about
astronomy which didn't interest me so I declined.  So I think it's time for
you to be Toni with an `i' again.  And that means smelling as pretty as you
look.  So come on."

"Mom!  I was just helping Wendy out last week.  I'm not a girl and I don't
want to be one either."

"Honey, I know you're not a girl and you're not trying to be one.  But you
were so happy then when you got past your fear of being called a sissy.
You know, when we were putting on the make-up and taking the pictures –
well, you were just so alive and vivacious, dancing and posing.  Most of
the time now you just watch TV and do your homework.  I hardly ever see you
smile or act silly.  But a few years ago, when you worried less about what
the other kids thought about you, you were so much more delightful.  I hope
you allow yourself to feel that way again."

"But Mommy, I was just a little kid then.  Big boys aren't supposed to do
that."

"Says who?"

"Everybody."

"No, baby.  Too many people stifle themselves because of they think others
would disapprove.  I don't want that for you; I want you to be happy and to
be proud of yourself for who you are. "

"But I'm happy being a boy."

"So then why did you try on my panties?  And why did you feel so thrilled
last week when you put on Wendy's nylon panties and her bra?"

I hung my head at the memory and didn't know what to say.

"Look, Tony, I love watching you do boyish things like trying to catch
frogs and playing football.  But I was also proud of you when you let your
sissy self loose and had fun pretending to be a girl."

"Well, yeah, it was a lot of fun after a while.  You were really proud of
me?"

"Yes, darling, I know it took courage to say `what the heck. I don't care
if anyone thinks I'm a sissy'.  But more important than feeling proud, you
were just so much fun to be with.  So giddy and creative and sharing that
with us."

"Thanks Mom.  But I was just doing what came naturally. "

"Exactly.  That's all I ask.  And not just for your sake.  Your joy was
infectious and we all felt good.  In fact, I haven't seen my sister and
Wendy that carefree since Uncle Irv died.  Too bad Sharon wasn't there."

She should have been a lawyer and saleswoman or something.  Because by now
I was feeling good about being a sissy sometimes and making them happy.
And eager to do it again.  "OK Mom, you win.  I'll be Toni again."

"Good.  I'll get the bath going and call Aunt Ruth."

It felt nice settling back in the warm water that Mom scented for me –
the first time I experienced the pleasure of bath oils.  I heard the
doorbell and the excited voices of Wendy and Aunt Ruth.  I was eager to get
out and `be' a girl again but luxuriating in the fragrant water also felt
so nice.  Not to mention my wonderful little boner caused by already
feeling like a girl.

I could have stayed there forever but was jostled out of my reverie by call
me.  I got out, dried off, wrapped a towel around my waist, and went
downstairs to greet Aunt Ruth and Wendy with a kiss.

"Oh Tony" my mom said "I thought you going to be Toni."

Puzzled, I said "Yeah, that's right."

"Yes, not yeah" Aunt Ruth corrected me.

Mom laughed.  I thought because Aunt Ruth was such a stickler for proper
speech but then Mom said "I guess there's a lot about being a girl that we
take for granted but will have to teach Toni."

"Toni dear" she went on, "boys wrap their towels around their waists but
girls cover their breasts with the towel as well.  Here, like this."

And with that, my mother pulled the towel off me, leaving me naked in front
of her, Wendy, and Aunt Ruth.  I was mortified and yelled "Mommy!" as I
covered my penis with both hands (though, to be honest, one would have been
more than enough).

"Oh Toni" Mom exclaimed as if exasperated.  "We're all girls here now.  No
need to be so modest.  Now move your arms so I can show you how to wrap a
bath towel around you like a girl."

I shook my head and started crying; I was stunned by being so embarrassed
by my mother.

She offered no sympathy.  "Well Tony, if you insist on thinking of yourself
as a boy, I guess you would feel embarrassed.  But it's confusing since you
cry like a little girl."

And Wendy's question offered no relief to my humiliation.  "Aunt Helen, I
know he supposed to be a girl now, but is it normal for a pee-pee to be so
small?  It looked like a little button."

Mom responded "Tony's has always been tiny and I think it's especially
small now since he just came from a bath.  I mean, young boys' penises are
generally much smaller than men's or even teenage boys but I think Tony's
penis is probably smaller than most boys his age.  Perhaps that's part of
the reason for his sissy feelings."

Aunt Ruth said "Tony, I thought you wanted to be Toni with an `i' today for
a girls' day out."

I shook my head and said "Not anymore" through my sobs.

"Well I want you to join us" she said.  "Think about when you go swimming
and the water's cold.  Is it easier to get used to the water by jumping in
or climbing in slowly down the ladder?"

"Jumping."

"So this is like the same thing.  It's much harder to be part hot and part
cold than to jump in and get used to the cold quickly.  You could just walk
away and not swim at all to avoid the discomfort but then you'd be sad that
didn't enjoy swimming.  I know deep down you want to enjoy feeling like a
girl for a while and for sure I know you like ice cream.  Instead of
walking away, jump in.  Set in your mind for the next few hours that you're
a girl, just like you did last week.  Don't make it difficult for yourself
by hesitating.  If you let yourself be a girl, then you won't be
embarrassed being nude in front of other girls."

I stopped crying.  This made sense.  Damn, she was as convincing as Mom had
been earlier; these sisters both should have been lawyers.

`I am a girl for now' I said to myself and looked up at my mother, aunt,
and cousin with vision still blurry with tears as I abruptly moved my arms
to my side and stood naked and open in front of them.  But, in fact, the
metaphorical water was too cold for me and I quickly put my hands back in
front of my crotch.

"Oh, for heaven's sake Tony" Mom exclaimed, "you're not going to ruin a fun
day for us with your hang-ups" and quickly grabbed my hands away from my
penis.

"You can't make me!" I cried.  "I'll tell Daddy."

I knew that was a bad choice the as I saw the fury in Mom's face but still
was shocked when she quickly yanked me across her lap as she sat on a stair
step.

SMACK, SMACK, SMACK, SMACK, SMACK, SMACK!  I hadn't been spanked in a few
years and laid there stunned and crying with the stinging, burning pain
after 3 slaps to each of my backside cheeks.  "I'm sorry" I sobbed, face
down.

I wasn't the only one stunned – from the silence and the palatable heavy
air, so were Wendy, Aunt Ruth, and even my mom.  Similarly, we all felt
something else too.  As the pain subsided and the heat remained, I felt
that thrill feeling return; the one I felt when I put on Wendy's pastel
green yellow panties last week.  And looking up, I could see a mixture of
surprise and excitement on their faces.

"Mommy, I'm sorry I said that.  I wouldn't tell".

"Baby, I know.  I just want you to be happy and got frustrated your
namby-pamby games.  You ARE a girl today.  Like Aunt Ruth said, embrace it.
You don't have to be embarrassed being naked with other girls."

"Um, Aunt Helen," Wendy interjected, "his little button got bigger" and she
giggled.

"You mean `her' little button, Wendy" Aunt Ruth said.  "Look, we know
Toni's not fully a girl.  But if she can let her sissy side out, we can
pretend, too."

My pee-pee didn't soften a bit during this brief exchange, even with
hearing it referred to again as a button.  In fact, both inches stood
proudly.  I felt embarrassed by showing my tiny pee-pee, but somehow that
embarrassment felt good.  Just like when I was spanked.  And the burning
from the spanking had subsided to a rosy warmth that felt nice.

"Mommy," I was eager to state and understand this eureka.  "I don't think I
can feel just like one of the girls, though I can pretend – and I will.
But I think I like being a sissy especially because I'm not a girl so I
feel ashamed to want to act like one.  Wait, that doesn't make sense.  What
I'm trying to say...actually, I don't know.  I guess it's that it makes me
feel good in a weird way to have girls make me feel embarrassed for being a
sissy."

There was silence while all tried to digest that.  Aunt Ruth spoke first,
"Did you like it when your mother spanked you?"

"Well not the hurting part of it.  But afterwards, when I was still on her
lap, I started to feel good in that way.  That you and Wendy were watching
me be spanked.  And that I was naked in front of you.  And that being a
sissy made me be spanked.  And I still like that my behind feels nice and
warm."

"So your Aunt Helen did make it warm enough for you after all" Wendy
laughed, again referencing Aunt Ruth's analogy about jumping into a pool.

I laughed too.  "Yeah, I guess so.  But not exactly as Aunt Ruth said.
It's not so much that I jumped in to be a girl, but that I was made to be a
sissy.  I think I really want to be one but I'm ashamed of it.  So letting
girls make me a sissy makes me feel thrilled."

"Mom" I diverted my attention "is this what a sexy feeling is?"

"Yes, Tony dear, I think that's what you're experiencing.  Have you felt it
other times like this?"

"Um, last month, on the way back from school with Artie, I saw this girl
that other boys called a name before.  I don't know what it means but I
yelled it at her anyway for some reason.  But then she started running
across the street at me.  I tried to run away but she caught me.  She
turned me around and slapped me on my face, then spit and pushed me.  Then
she left.  I couldn't move for a moment.  It hurt but I had that sexy
feeling then."

"What was the word?"

"Slut.  What does it mean?"

She and Aunt Ruth laughed.  "It means someone who has sex with a lot of
people."

"That's bad?"

"Many people think it's bad just for girls."

"And when I was little" I continued with my femdom confession, "Debbie and
me used to go to the bathroom when you and Mrs. S were upstairs and we'd
play `Hansel and Gretel'.  She'd be the witch and sit on the toilet and
pull down my pants and underpants and play with my pee-pee."

"What does that have to do with `Hansel and Gretel'? " Wendy asked.

"Remember when the witch was trying fatten up Hansel so she could eat him
and he would give her a bone to feel so she would think he was still
skinny?  Debbie pretended my pee-pee was the bone."

"So what does that have to do with being a sissy?" Mom asked.  "Or being
slapped by the other girl?"

"Well, Debbie never let me see hers.  She was the one in charge - I had to
stand still while she squeezed it.  But boys are supposed to be stronger
and in charge so that was like being a sissy.  Same thing with the other
girl.  I let her slap me and I didn't do anything back.  Because I was
scared.  I think that's being a sissy too.  But I liked it.  With Debbie,
when we came back from the summer, first thing I did was to go to her house
so she could squeeze my pee-pee.  But she didn't want to anymore and I felt
bad."

"Tony, I won't even get into your belief that boys should be in charge;
we'll discuss that another time" Mom responded.  "But I guess if that's
what you believe, then I see how you relate that to feeling sissyish which
it sounds like turns you on."

""What does that mean?"

"Feels sexy."

"Oh, yeah."

"Yes, not yeah" Aunt Ruth corrected me.  We all cracked up that the
circumstances – me standing naked in front of them while coming to an
understanding of my erotic attraction to being embarrassed by being exposed
as a sissy – wasn't enough to divert her from her obsession with proper
speech.

"So then" Mom went on.  "What should we do? I mean, I don't know what to
think.  This is my son.  And he's telling me that he aroused by girls
dominating him.  And that seems to include feeling like he has to dress
like a girl and act like a girl."

"We should do what we planned to do" responded Aunt Ruth.  I can't return
these panties, you know."  And with that, she pulled out a pair of pink
cotton panties with a white bow in front and a thin ruffled elastic border
from her purse.  "They were on sale at Korvette's and just looked so
pretty" she went on.  "And Wendy's old panties were still a bit big on
him."

Right away my penis, which had softened during my eureka moment, hardened
again as I visualized pulling them up my legs and encasing my maleness in
the symbol of femininity, ergo sissifying myself.

But Mom protested. "I don't know, Ruth.  It was one thing to support him
being feminine.  I feel a bit weird knowing that it's more than that.  And
being part of it."

"What, Helen?  He made it clear last week, with your help I might add, he
gets aroused by being a sissy.  It was just dressing in girl's clothes as
far as we were aware then.  So now we've learned that his definition of
sissy is broader.  But Tony still needs support from us."

"But to be honest, it affected me too.  I started to feel excited when I
spanked him and felt him get hard while crying and lying across my lap.  In
fact, even now, with him standing there naked in front of us, I'm not
feeling so much like his mother, or even just one of the girls.  It's more
like I want him to be sissy because it turns me on."

"I understand, Helen, but frankly, that's your problem, not his.  You have
to learn to deal with it.  And you're not alone.  I'm also feeling strange.
It a dichotomy we're going to have to get used to.  But the cat's out of
the bag."

"Here, Toni" she said, "try these on," handing me the soft cotton panties.

I didn't hesitate.  And as I anticipated, they felt lovely.  The cotton was
softer and thinner than my boys' underwear, and it just felt sexy wearing
panties which had been forbidden for me.

"See, he likes them" said Aunt Ruth, and gave me a hearty love tap on me
behind, doing nothing to diminish my boner.

I have to admit, listening to my mom confess that she felt sexy when she
spanked me was really weird.  But I kind of liked it too.  So I told her
"Don't worry, Mommy.  I know you love me and want to make me a good boy
more than anything else.  I'll know when you punish me for being bad that
it's not because you like seeing me be a sissy."

"Tony, you're amazing.  And so right.  I do love you very much."  Mom
hugged me closely and pinched my bottom affectionately, as she often did.

"So let's get me dressed and get some ice cream."