Rogue Review  No. 37 - May 29, 1998

by Lee Vine

Melody by Crimson Dragon

No Sex

Length: 5,600 words

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NOTES:

(1)  IF YOU ARE UNDER 18 THEN STOP READING NOW!!!!!
(2)  IF YOU ARE OFFENDED BY DESCRIPTIONS OF NATURAL ACTS WHICH SOME 
PEOPLE CALL PLEASUREABLE BUT YOU REGARD AS NECESSARY FOR THE 
PERPETUATION OF THE HUMAN RACE THEN STOP READING NOW!!!!!!!
(3)  IF YOU AREN'T SURE IF EITHER (1) OR (2) APPLY TO YOU THEN STOP 
READING NOW!!!!

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Summary

Terri is attending the company party.  She unsuccessfully attempts to
strike up a conversation with Melody.  After getting home that night,
she gets a call from Melody, who is in tears.  Terri comforts her and
in the process learns quite a bit about her.

Commentary

This is a touching story.  It is very well paced.  The descriptions 
are good.  The author did an excellent job of conveying the mood.

I could not help but like the characters.  What they did and how they
spoke revealed as much about them as what they said.  This is not an 
upbeat story, but it is well written.

There were places in the dialogue where periods were used too freely, 
specifically to indicate hesitation.  That seemed an inappropriate usage 
to me.  There were a couple of places where an adverb should have been 
used instead of an adjective or the wrong tense was used.

Judgment

This was an excellent story, but a little more editing would have 
helped.