Death by Fucking    © 2003 by Andrew Wiggin

Chapter 3 Passion or Love?    Andrew’s Story

     We were lying in bed in Deirdre’s hotel room recovering
from a bout of mind-blowing liberating sex, at least from my
point of view.   I had wanted to make slow sensuous love to
this woman who had suddenly become the focus of my life.
Instead I lost my head and it turned into a long hard monkey
fuck.
     It was a mistake.  I don’t know what happened.  One
minute I was this guy trying desperately to impress the
woman of his dreams.  The next minute I was primal man
staking his claim on Eve in the Garden of Eden.
     Is it right to want someone that much?  Is it healthy?
What have I gotten myself into?  Christ, the woman is going
to be gone in two weeks never to be seen again.
     I told her this afternoon when I accepted her
invitation to try to work off the sexual tension that had
developed between us that I would probably hate myself in
the morning.  I wasn’t kidding.
     I’m starting to hate myself right now, for two reasons.
First I may have pissed away the opportunity of a lifetime
by losing control during our first (and maybe only)
lovemaking session.  Second, I’ve fallen in love.  I’ve got
feelings for Deirdre that run deeper than I thought myself
capable of.  It’s a hopeless consuming passion.  I’m
addicted to her like the worst crack junky to his dope.  And
I’m lying here knowing she will be gone in two weeks.  I’m a
complete idiot.
     Deirdre had been laughing at some little play on words
that she somehow had the presence of mind to make through
this emotional morass I find myself in.  Let’s be honest,
maybe she isn’t in the same emotional morass.
     
       I had apologized for fucking her brains out.  When I
asked her what she was thinking, she said “Why, Andrew, I’m
not thinking anything.  I have no brains.”
     
     And then she laughed. It was that warm infectious
little laugh that I had grown to adore.  It infected me and
I laughed too, defusing my anxiety a little.
     Suddenly she stopped laughing and came into my arms.
Our bodies touched for the first time.  Well it seemed like
the first time.  The last time I was in such a state of
unbridled lust that I hardly noticed her body.  Now she
molded herself to me and our lips met.
     Deirdre is soft, indescribably soft.  Her skin is like
nothing I’ve ever touched before.  It’s so soft it’s barely
a solid.  My hands roamed her back as we held each other.
Her kiss was one that poets try to describe with no success.
The softness of those lips, the electricity in her touch,
the warmth, the gentleness of her embrace were all sucking
me down into a permanent abyss of unquenchable romantic
love.  It was like part of me was outside myself, watching
me drowning in Deirdre.
     Have you ever said to yourself, “This is going to kill
me” and went right ahead and did whatever it was anyway?
That was me with Deirdre.  This relationship was going
nowhere.  Deirdre doesn’t do relationships.  My life was
going to end in two weeks.  This is going to kill me.
     But she was with me now.  I would have to make it feel
like eternity.
     
     Our kiss seemed to last an eternity.  Neither of us
wanted it to end, maybe.  I know I didn’t.  When she finally
pulled away, her eyes were shining.  She has this thing with
her eyes.  There is some kind of internal switch thing that
she seems to be able to turn on and off.  When the switch
was on there was a light in her eyes that was mesmerizing,
beautiful, dazzling.  I thought it only happened when she
smiled.
     
     She said, “Thank you, Andrew.  That was the most
beautiful thing that’s ever happened to me.”
     
     I was still apprehensive. “I wasn’t too rough with
you?”
     
     She smiled a little, a lovely warm smile.  “No, you
weren’t too rough.  You were a bit overwhelming.  But
sometimes it’s wonderful to be overwhelmed.”
     
     “I promise that if we do it again, I’ll take my time
and be gentle.  Something came over me just now.  I wasn’t
myself.”
     
     She laughed.  Her laugh was rich and melodious.  Her
eyes, her entire face, seemed to be laughing. “If that
wasn’t you, I want to meet that other guy who just about
killed me.”
     
     Deirdre was a playful, delightful lover.  Humor is such
an integral part of her person, and it seemed to come out
even more in the bedroom.  She has a sweet relaxed way of
dealing with everything.
     We held each other and talked.  I wanted to know about
her.  All I knew were these basic facts: she grew up in the
South; went to Duke; worked for a big consulting firm; was
beautiful; was the person I’ve been waiting for forever.
Maybe she didn’t feel like the person I’ve been waiting for
forever.
     My arms were full of Deirdre as she told me a little of
her life.  I was right where I wanted to be, forever.
     
     “I’m from Savannah.  Well, from a town outside of
Savannah.  Daddy was a doctor.  Momma was a housewife.  I’ve
got a sister named Donna, but we call her Donnie.”
     
     I was pleased.  “You mean there is another woman who
has your bloodlines?  Wow.  Is she at all like you?”
     
     “Yes, we are very much alike.  We’re about as close as
sisters can be.  I talk to her all of the time, and we tell
each other everything.”
     
     I made the semi-obligatory leering grin and said,
“Everything?”
     
     She laughed again.  Deirdre didn’t giggle.  She had
none of the nervous mannerisms I was used to in the young
girls I had dated.  If she thought something was funny, she
laughed.  If she was nervous, she admitted it.  She never
giggled.
     
     “Yes, everything.  She is going to love this story.”
     
     I was a little flip with her.  “Oh, you tell her about
all your love affairs, huh?”
     
     She took the bait.  Her eyes flared with a different
kind of spark, and I knew that this was as close to angry
that I’d ever seen Deirdre.
     
     “I don’t do relationships, Andrew.  And I don’t have
casual affairs.  I never tell Donnie about my love life
because I have no love life.  I don’t have time for a love
life.”
     
     She seemed to calm down a bit as this came out.  I held
her even tighter and I could feel her tenseness relax.
     
     “I’m sorry, Deirdre.  Maybe I’m a little vulnerable
right now.  This thing we are doing here, I know you don’t
do relationships, so it can’t be a relationship.  But it
feels like a relationship to me.”
     
     I heard her whisper, “Dee Dee”.
     
     “Dee Dee?” I questioned.
     
     “Yes the people closest to me call me Dee Dee.”
     
     “Who calls you Dee Dee?”
     
     “Momma, Daddy and Donnie are about it.  I don’t have
that many people I’m close to.”  Deirdre was snuggling her
head into my shoulder, kind of like a kitten rubbing against
your leg.  It felt wonderful.
     
     I said, “You wouldn’t mind if I called you Dee Dee?”
     
     “I’d like it.”  Deirdre wasn’t looking at me.  Her face
was buried in my shoulder.
     
     I brought my hand to her chin and lifted her face next
to mine.  “Thank you, Dee Dee”, I said, and then I kissed
her, a soft gentle kiss of gratitude.  I know it sounds
ridiculous.  She merely let me call her by her nickname, no
big thing.  But I felt like some threshold had been crossed.
This private woman with no friends was asking me to be her
friend.    I wanted more, but every journey starts with the
first step.
     I wasn’t horny.  Jeez, I’d just had the greatest sexual
experience of my life a few minutes ago.  How could I be
horny?  But my mood was romantic.  I took her face in my
hands and planted a soft kiss on each cheek. Then I kissed
her lips.  It was one of those languid, no hurry kisses; the
kind that seem to reach down to your heart and set it on
fire.
     I slid my lips down her throat and began kissing her
neck.  God, it was a beautiful neck.  I felt myself sucking
on that neck, trying to make it mine.  I finally came to my
senses and let up the pressure, seconds before placing a
serious hickey on the neck of a thirty-five year old
business woman.
     She didn’t seem to mind.  Her eyes were closed and a
soft lazy smile was on her lovely face.  I worked my way
down her chest.  I was finally at her breasts.  They were
small and perfect.  It was if she had been the model for the
champagne glass rather than Marie Antoinette.  They were
round, soft, white, and perfectly symmetrical, with small
dark, perfectly suckable nipples.  I thought I had died and
gone to heaven.
     I devoured those breasts.  I made gentle love to those
perfect nipples, softly licking them, gently biting them,
then forcefully sucking them. By this time our previous
encounter was a forgotten memory and my dick was as hard as
a rock.  But Dee Dee just lay there happily, allowing me to
slowly worship her body.  When I nibbled on her nipple I
felt her body shudder and her chest pushed its way deeper
into my mouth.
     I finally was able to pull myself away from her
gorgeous tits and continued to kiss my way down her body.  I
reached her belly button.  She has an ‘inny’. Every thing
about Deirdre is provocative to me.  Her belly button was
absolutely sensual.
     There’s this theory I read about.  It’s a good theory
and I kind of subscribe to it.  Here’s the theory:  All
primate males are ass men.  When stated succinctly like
that, I don’t suppose it’s much of a theory.  But what it
means is this:  the females in primate species generally
advertise their sexual availability by having an inflamed
ass.  Primate males are always aware of the state of a
female’s ass, because he wants to fuck her whenever she is
willing.  Now an exception to the rule is Homo sapiens.
Something happened during the course of evolution, something
related to pair bonding maybe.  But human females became
sexually receptive year round.  How did the human female
evolve to advertise the fact that she is ALWAYS sexually
available?  She did it by evolving pseudo-asses all over her
body.  Look at the softness, the curve of a woman’s
shoulder; the roundness, the cleavage of a woman’s tits. The
knees, when bent, legs held together look like a small ass.
All primate males are ass men, human males are no exception.
     This brings me back to Deirdre’s belly button, which to
me looked like it was practically a second pussy.  I
attacked that pseudo-pussy with my tongue, practically
fucking it.  As I kissed my way down Dee Dee’s stomach, my
hands had been fondling those lovely breasts, gently
pinching those sexy nipples.  Then I slid them down and
beneath her legs and started squeezing her round soft ass.
My body had slipped down between her legs.  My mouth started
working its way down from her belly button.
     
     Dee Dee’s eyes finally opened.  She gazed on me with a
look of apprehension.  “Wait, Andrew.  I’m not sure you
should go there.”
     
     My body was already between her legs.  I brought my
arms under her legs so that they were on my shoulders.  I
looked up to her with as innocent an expression as I could
muster, given the circumstances.
     
     “Go where?” I asked.
     
     “You know perfectly well where.  Andrew, we just made
love!”
     
     “So? What’s your point?”  I can be oblique as the next
guy when I want to be.  In the meantime I had allowed my
fingers to softly crawl across her inner-thigh.  I was
circling her sex without actually touching it.  Dee Dee
seemed to shift her hips, almost as if her pussy were
seeking my fingers.
     
     Her eyes closed in passion.  She grimaced, as if in
pain.  Then her eyes opened again.
     
     “Andrew, no one’s ever gone there before.”  She was
looking at me solemnly.
     
     I couldn’t help but grin.  “So in a way you’re a
virgin, at least in that”, I said.
     
     “And in a lot of other ways that I intend to remain a
virgin at,” she said.  She was smiling now and I could tell
her objections about the direction my mouth was going were
no longer worrying her.  Deirdre was playful in bed.  The
passion was fabulous, but between the heights of passion,
Dee Dee was having fun.
     
     I licked her thighs.  When my tongue touched that soft,
soft skin, Deirdre shuddered.  My tongue slowly worked its
way toward Deirdre’s center.
     I blew softly on her lips.  They were wet, red and
swollen.  My tongue reached out and traced a path along Dee
Dee’s pussy lips.
     I was suddenly aware of her eyes on me.  She was
watching intently as I licked her lips.  I lifted her hips a
little more with my shoulders.  Now I could work on her
pussy with my mouth and look at her face at the same time.
Our eyes locked in a look of passion, as my mouth took hold
of one of her lips and I licked it, sucked on it, softly
nibbled on it.
     She was moaning now.  Her hips were swaying back and
forth, round and round.  It was as if she were working her
pussy on my mouth.  My tongue slid deeply into her and a cry
escaped her lips.  I replaced my tongue with a finger.  I
was exploring the walls of her pussy with my finger while my
mouth sucked her lips, and then my tongue worked around the
edges of her clit.  I wanted her high, and I wanted her to
stay there.
     She was watching me with passion-glazed eyes, her hips
moving to meet the rhythm of my fingers.  I tasted her
sweetness inter-mingled with the musky taste of my own cum.
     Her hip movements became more frenzied, her eyes
closed, her head moving side to side.  She was on the verge
of a powerful orgasm; too soon, as far as I was concerned.
I slowed my assault on her pussy, bringing the fast boil
back to a simmer; a pretty damn fast simmer, I’ll admit, but
at least she wasn’t in danger of boiling over.
     Her eyes were open again, and this time that light was
on.  She was looking at me with her mouth open, an
astonished smile on her face.  She was gasping from her near-
orgasm experience, but quickly settled back into the
slightly slower rhythm I set for her.
     I brought her to a boil again, again only to back off.
Again and again I did it.  Each time her level of arousal
seemed to increase. Her face in the throes of passion is the
most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.  By now her hands were
on my head, pulling me into her.  Her knees were pulled up
to her chest; her pussy was wide open, welcoming and
demanding.
     God, I loved her.  I sucked her clit between my lips,
licking it with the flat of my tongue.  I inserted a second
finger into her pussy and worked her G spot.  I heard her
screaming.
     Her whole body arched off of the bed.  She was still
screaming, but no sound was coming out.  I felt her pussy
clenching tightly around my fingers, her thighs clamping
around my ears, her hands pulling my head to her middle.
     I kept up the pressure, forcing her orgasm to higher
and higher levels.  Her arms were suddenly fluttering in the
air, her eyes rolled back in her head.  Finally she went
completely limp, no longer able to actively participate in
her own seduction.  I kept gently eating her pussy, avoiding
her clitoris.  Her eyes were barely open, but she continued
to watch the assault on her pussy.  Before long I could feel
her starting to respond again.  The woman was deep in latent
sensuality.
     She reached out to me, beckoning me upwards.  I took
her hand and worked my way up her body.  Our lips met, even
though my face was totally covered in her erotic juices.  As
we kissed my cock slipped into her once again.
     I began a slow steady in and out movement.  My hips
rotated a little as I moved, forcing my cock to slide around
as well as back and forth.  The feeling was exquisite.  Her
soft warm inner walls seemed to massage my dick.
     We did that for a long time, gazing into each other’s
eyes as I stroked in and out, round and round.  I just had
so much love for this woman.  We were bonding in the way
established by the australopithecines.  It was as old as man
himself, older than our species, the way Dee Dee and I made
that intimate bond that belongs to every true couple.  God,
I hope she felt it too.
     And then my passion came upon me.  I started stroking
in earnest, building up power, my lust overwhelming my love.
I was slamming into her, eliciting a grunt from her with
every stroke.  Her legs wrapped around my hips as she gave
herself totally to me.  Harder and harder, higher and higher
we climbed till there was nothing but the act of two people
trying to achieve oneness through the intimate contact of
their sex.  And then oneness arrived.  My dick seized, then
sprayed shot upon shot of semen into her welcoming pussy.
Her arms were around my neck, squeezing for all they were
worth.  She was deliriously babbling when her whole body
tensed and a loud sharp scream signaled her orgasm.
     We held each other for minutes afterwards.  Deirdre’s
eyes were closed as I kissed her neck, her cheeks, her
eyelids and finally her lips.  At last her eyes opened and
the sides of her mouth curled up into an exhausted smile.
     
     I thought I heard her whisper, “Death by fucking.”