There is a technique for using a shovel to dig a hole that minimizes the stress on the muscles of the back. There are bad techniques that will hurt the back, but will still result in the excavation of a hole. Unfortunately for Pepper, he was clueless when it came to using a shovel. His first attempt was to use it like a pogo stick. He held the handle straight up with both hands and then he jumped on the two flanges of the blade with both feet.
Craig watched incredulous as Pepper rode the shovel to the ground where he landed flat on his back. Pepper scrambled up from the ground and repeated the process with the same result. Unable to believe what he was seeing, Craig leaned against the side of the pickup truck with his arms crossed and watched Pepper attempt to dig a hole. He wished that he had a video camera with him because nobody would believe it when he would try to tell the story about how Pepper was using the shovel.
Exhausted, Pepper stopped his efforts and said, "This shovel doesn't work."
"Have you ever used a shovel?" Craig asked.
"No," Pepper said. Seeing the look Craig was giving him, he said, "If you need a hole dug, you hire a Mexican."
"There aren't any Mexicans around here. Even if there were, I wouldn't hire one," Craig said.
"I'm not surprised," Pepper said. "You're a racist."
Craig shook his head unable to believe the garbage coming out of Pepper's mouth. He said, "No. I wouldn't make any money if I hired a Mexican to do the job I was getting paid to do. If I tried to do that, Donny would just hire the Mexican and throw me off the ranch."
"Oh," Pepper said. He looked at the shovel in his hand. He said, "You mean we are the Mexicans."
"That's one way to put it," Craig said.
"I don't like the idea of that at all," Pepper said with a frown.
Deciding it was time to teach Pepper how to use a shovel, Craig said, "Drop the shovel and step over to the side."
Pepper dropped the shovel and walked away to the full extension of the chain. He said, "Okay."
Craig went over and picked up the shovel. He then proceeded to explain and demonstrate the proper use of a shovel. After a couple of shovelfuls of dirt, he asked, "Do you see how to use it?"
"You make that look pretty easy," Pepper said.
Craig said, "It is easy. Now dig a hole that is four foot by four foot and six feet deep."
Pepper picked up the shovel and reproduced what Craig had shown him. As he worked, he said, "I don't mean to complain, but I'm taller than four feet and I'm not four feet across."
"What are you talking about?"
"Well I don't want to spend all of eternity scrunched up like that," Pepper said. "If I'm digging my own grave then I ought to be the one to decide the dimensions of it. Maybe I want it ten feet long, ten feet wide, and twenty feet deep. Did you ever think of that?"
"Don't worry, this is just a practice hole," Craig said with a smile. He realized that Pepper had not been paying attention to the work assignments over breakfast. Chuckling, he said, "You can dig your grave whatever size you want if you get this hole four foot by four foot and six feet deep."
"A practice hole?" Pepper asked.
Craig knew that this afternoon was going to get him a lifetime of drinks down at the bar outside of town. No one would believe it.
He said, "Before you dig an important hole you have to practice your technique on a practice hole."
"Oh," Pepper said.
Craig leaned against the truck and watched Pepper work. After the first few shovelfuls of dirt, Pepper came to the brilliant conclusion that it was pointless to work frantically to dig the hole. He realized that the more time he took, the more time he had to live. As a result, he worked at a sedate pace and took small bites with the shovel. The poor man would have been devastated to learn that he was probably working at the optimal pace to get the job done in the shortest time.
After fifteen minutes, Craig said, "Take a break for fifteen minutes."
"Okay," Pepper said. He figured that he was supposed to work continuously until the hole was completed.
Craig said, "You might want to drink a little water."
"Why?"
"So you don't get dehydrated," Craig said. "I'd hate for you to die while digging the practice hole."
"Okay," Pepper said.
He put down the shovel and picked up the iron bar. He shuffled over to the back of the truck where the water jug was perched on the tailgate. He took a cup and started to fill it.
Keeping a close eye on Pepper, Craig said, "Don't drink too much."
"You sure are bossy," Pepper said. "I'd never get away with telling one of my employees back at the store when and how much they can drink."
"You can suit yourself and drink as much as you want and when you want. Don't complain to me when you pass out because you're dehydrated or when you're puking up your guts five minutes after getting back to work. Personally, I don't care. I'll just sit here and make fun of you," Craig said.
"You would make fun of me," Pepper said.
Deciding that Craig probably knew what he was talking about, he drank a little of the water.
Craig said, "Just to remind you, it would take us about an hour to get you to old Doc Taylor. It would take us about three and a half hours to get you to the hospital."
"I forgot about that," Pepper said.
He still couldn't imagine how people managed to live like this. Back in Los Angeles he would have sued the city if an ambulance didn't show up within five minutes. As far as he knew, having public services available on a moment's notice was a basic constitutional right. He wasn't sure which right it was, but he kind of remembered it had something to do with the amendment concerning the right to life, liberty, and happiness.
When it was time for the break to end, Craig said, "Get back to work."
Pepper shuffled back to the hole carrying his iron bar. He dropped the iron bar and picked up the shovel. After just a few shovelfuls of dirt, he was working at the same sedate pace as earlier. While he worked he mumbled and grumbled about the unfairness of this and that. It kept his mind off the work and the hole slowly deepened.
After fifteen minutes, Craig said, "Break time. Let's have a little lunch. We've got some sandwiches that Mrs. Daniels made. I think she made roast beef."
Pepper went over and grabbed one of the sandwiches. It was wrapped in butcher paper. He ate a bite and then said, "This great."
Craig shook his head. He went over to the water jug and filled a cup with a little water. He poured the water over his hands and then dried them off on a towel that was hung over the jug. He picked up a sandwich. He said, "We're not barbarians. You can wash your hands out here."
"I thought that was drinking water," Pepper said.
"It is water. We've got two gallons of it in that jug. I think we can spare a cup each to wash our hands," Craig said.
Pepper put down his sandwich and washed his hands in the same manner Craig had done. He picked up his sandwich and said, "This bread is delicious. Where did she get these buns?"
"Mrs. Daniels baked it," Craig said. Seeing the surprised expression on Pepper's face, he said, "It is a thirty minute drive into town. We aren't going to do that to buy bread every other day. She's got a bread machine that mixes the dough for her and she bakes it in her own bread pans."
"Oh," Pepper said. "I guess I always think of bread as coming in plastic bags."
"Just about everything you eat here is made or grown here with the exception of cheese, sugar, salt, coffee, and a few condiments. What we don't grow, we trade for with others," Craig said. "That cherry jam that we had for breakfast was made from cherries picked off the cherry trees that grow here. The butter and milk came from Dan's place. Joe provides the eggs and poultry.
"Believe it or not, we provide the flour. A couple years ago, Sonny got an electric flourmill at some kind of swap meet. Now, Donny keeps a couple dozen bushels of wheat from the crop every year. He mills a bunch of it into a fine powder every three months and then lets it age to get rid of that yellow tinge."
"This is like the food that you get at the organic grocery store," Pepper said. "You know ... all natural."
"I'm not sure what you mean by all natural," Craig said.
"Without chemicals," Pepper said.
Shrugging his shoulders, Craig said, "We don't have a chemical laboratory."
Waving around his sandwich, Pepper said, "I've wondered why everything tastes so good."
"It just tastes like food," Craig said. He pointed to the sandwich and said, "Eat up. You've got to get back to work soon."
"Okay," Pepper said.
It was near the middle of the afternoon, and Pepper was standing in a deep hole shoveling dirt, when he noticed a sound that was a lot like thunder. He looked up at the sky and saw that there wasn't a cloud anywhere. He asked, "What's that sound?"
Craig smiled and said, "John and Sally are moving the herd."
"What herd?" Pepper asked.
"The quarter horses," Craig smiled. He pointed to the far end of the pasture and said, "They should be coming through there any minute now."
Pepper looked in the direction that Craig indicated. All of a sudden, fifty horses burst into view running free. They churned up a cloud of dust that hung in the air behind them. The sound, even from that distance, was an impressive rumble that could be felt in the body. Behind the herd, John and Sally rode on horses looking every bit like the cowboys presented in western films.
Going to the horse races was an activity, which Pepper occasionally engaged in back in Los Angeles. Pepper thought he knew what a running horse looked like, but he discovered that he had been wrong. The horses at the races were loaded with saddles, jockeys, and other gear. The jockeys controlled the pace and tempo of the horses' movements. These horses were not encumbered in any way and ran with a freedom that just wasn't present at the races. They moved with a smoothness and grace that was impossible under any other circumstance.
Pepper's mouth was open in amazement. He had never seen anything like it. Chills ran down his spine. It was a demonstration of natural speed and power that was stamped indelibly in his memory. Awestruck, he whispered, "My God."
"I don't think I'll ever get tired of seeing that," Craig said softly.
John and Sally slowed their horses down and watched the herd move to the center of the pasture. The horses slowed down and came to a milling stop. One of the horses reared and pawed the air with its front legs.
Pepper whispered, "That is incredible."
Craig waved to the pair on horseback. They turned and headed towards the truck at an easy pace letting the horses cool down. Pepper was still staring at the herd of horses.
His attention was brought back to his situation when John asked, "What are you doing?"
"I'm digging a practice hole," Pepper answered.
John and Sally looked at Pepper for a second, then at each other, and finally over at Craig. They knew what Pepper was supposed to be doing. Leaning against the pickup truck, Craig winked and smiled. They were looking forward to hearing a good story later that evening.
Craig said, "Based on your vast hole digging experience, how do you think he's doing?"
Having a hard time keeping a straight face, Sally said, "It is kind of big for a practice hole."
"He needed lots of practice. It was either dig one big hole or two smaller holes," Craig said.
Watching Pepper struggle to get the shovelful of dirt out of the hole, John said, "I would say it was about time to use a smaller shovel. There's not enough room in that hole for him to use that long handled thing."
"I agree," Sally said.
Picking up a shovel from the back of the truck, Craig said, "I was beginning to think that same thing. Do you think this one would do?"
"I would say so," John said nodding his head. He really wanted to know the story behind this.
"Definitely," Sally said.
Craig exchanged shovels with Pepper. Much to his surprise, Pepper found that it was a lot easier using the smaller shovel in the deeper hole. Craig threw the larger shovel into the back of the pickup truck.
Pepper said, "This is a whole lot better."
Turning to John, Craig asked, "Do you think he should fill in that practice hole when he's done?"
"It would be a shame to fill in such a fine practice hole," John answered.
Craig said, "When you get back to the house, you might tell Donny to bring out an appropriate cover for a hole that is four foot by four foot. We'll need it in about two hours."
John and Sally nodded their heads. Sally said, "We'll head back there now."
"Great," Craig said.
John leaned over in his saddle and looked down into the hole. He said, "Great practice hole."
"Thanks," Pepper said proudly.
He watched John and Sally ride away. They were laughing about something. It must have been pretty funny because Sally was having a hard time staying in the saddle.
He said, "I wonder what is so funny."
"One of these days you're going to have to tell me about your childhood. I have no idea what kinds of things that you did when you were a kid," Craig said shaking his head.
"I did the things that every kid does," Pepper said.
"I find that hard to believe," Craig said. "You never worked in a garden. It is obvious that you never did anything that required you to dig a hole."
"I grew up in an apartment. We couldn't have a garden and there was never a reason to dig a hole," Pepper said.
Craig asked, "Did you ever take care of any animals?"
"They didn't allow pets in the apartment," Pepper said. "I did have an aquarium for a while, but the fish all died. They sprayed for roaches and the poison killed them."
"Did you ever build anything?"
"No," Pepper answered. "I could have taken shop in high school, but that was for the losers."
"Did you ever use tools to fix things?" Craig asked.
Pepper looked blank for a moment and then answered, "No. The manager of the apartment would send someone over to fix anything that broke."
"So what did you do as a kid?" Craig asked.
He just couldn't imagine anyone growing up without have worked in a garden, taken care of stock, repairing things, or helping to build something. He doubted that Pepper had ever gone hunting or fishing. It seemed to him that Pepper had never experienced anything that went towards creating a man out of a boy.
"I did the normal kinds of things that kids do," Pepper answered unsure of what Craig was asking.
As far as he could tell, Pepper hadn't done anything that a normal boy did while growing up. Craig said, "Humor me. Just tell me what a typical day was like when you were a kid."
"I would wake up in the morning, eat breakfast, go to school, practice for the band, go home, eat dinner, and watch television," Pepper answered. "On weekends I would hang out with my friends in the video arcade."
"That's it. That's all you did?"
"Yes," Pepper answered.
"What about chores?" Craig asked.
"I had to take out the garbage to the dumpster," Pepper answered. It had seemed like such an imposition on his time when he was a kid.
"Did you have a job?" Craig asked unable to believe that Pepper hadn't done more as a kid.
Pepper answered, "My senior year of high school I had a part time job as a stock boy at the grocery store."
"Start digging," Craig said disturbed by what he had learned.
To him it seemed as if Pepper had the most deprived childhood that he could imagine. There was nothing in it to help him grow into being a responsible and self-sufficient man.
Pepper worked on the hole taking periodic breaks. During the breaks, Pepper would talk about his life back in Los Angeles. Craig couldn't imagine living such an empty life as Pepper described. It amazed him to hear the longing in Pepper's voice when he described stopping for a cup of coffee in a chain coffee shop or walking around in a mall without even buying anything.
Between breaks, the hole slowly got deeper and deeper. It was late afternoon when a progression of pickup trucks entered the pasture. Despite the fact that the hole wasn't six feet deep, Craig called over the Pepper, "Get out of the hole."
Pepper climbed out of the hole having a bit of a problem with the bar and chain. The trucks pulled up and everyone got out. With the exception of Donny, everyone stood around watching Pepper. He started wondering if they were all there to watch him get killed. The only thing odd was that they all looked rather amused about something.
Donny looked down in the hole and said, "It is not quite six feet deep, but I guess it will do."
Pepper looked around at the trucks. He pointed to the truck Donny had been driving and asked, "What's that?"
"That's what we are going to cover your practice hole with," Donny answered.
Everyone else chuckled with the exception of Craig who was frowning. Donny noticed Craig's lack of reaction, but didn't comment on it.
Puzzled by the laughter, Pepper said, "It looks like a little house."
"It sure does," Donny said as if he had just noticed the resemblance of the little building to a house. Everyone else nodded their heads in agreement. Sam had to turn his back to Pepper.
"Hey, wait a minute! That's an outhouse!" Pepper said realizing that the whole idea of digging a practice hole was stupid.
It was hard to hear him, since everyone was laughing.
"That's right. You just dug 'the basement'," Donny said.