Some Things Bear Repeating
“I love you.”
“Hmm?”
“I said I love you.”
“I know. Thanks. I love you, too.”
“You know, when you say it like that, it sounds, well, bored.”
“Hmm?”
“Bored. You sound bored.”
“I…uhh…”
“Bored. Bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored. Oh my god, I’m boring you.”
“Uhhh…”
“All this time together, doing absolutely everything we could together, and you would rather watch TV.”
“Well, um, not everything.”
“Hmm?”
“We haven’t done everything.”
“…”
“…”
“I don’t think I know what you mean.”
“Yes, you do.”
“Wait, what?”
“Wake up the hamsters. Turn the wheel. Do some math.”
“…”
“…”
“Are weeee tal…”
“Uh huh.”
“…”
“…”
“You’ve…always…said ‘no’ to things like that. Firmly.”
“Yeah, well, things change.”
“I don’t think we’re talking about the same thing.”
“Yes, we are.”
“I’m pretty sure I don’t know where to begin.”
“Well, what do you keep asking for.”
“You know that was always in the heat of the moment, and I always respected your ‘no’s. And I have quit asking.”
“Well, we’re not there, are we. And I’m not saying ‘no’.”
“You’re saying ‘yes’.”
“Yes. ‘Yes’.”
“What if you say ‘no’ anyway?”
“I’m giving you an override pass. Ignore it. Old habits, you know.”
“So let me get this straight. You are telling me that we are going to do that…thing…and if you say ‘no’ it means ‘yes’.”
“No, I’m pretty sure I’m going to mean ‘no’ with every fiber of my being. And I don’t suspect I will be easy about it. But you get to ignore it. Busy?”
“What?”
“Right now. What are you doing?”
“Uhh, talking to you.”
“I married a fucking genius. So you don’t really have anything else to do right now, do you.”
“You mean now.”
“Yes. Now. Bored, remember?”
“Wait, wait, wait. I need to know something.”
“What else do you want? A bid? A summons?”
“Afterwards. What happens afterwards?”
“What’s the matter? Don’t you trust me? Don’t you loovve me?”
“You know what I mean.”
“What do I have to do here, sing an Abba song?”
“God, that movie sucked.”
“Brosnan, yes. Streep was a nice surprise. Don’t change the subject. C’mon. ‘Yes’. Look at me. ‘Yes’.”
“…”
“Come on, now. You’re going to ruin it. Tomorrow is another day.”
“…Ok.”
(loud exhale) “‘Bout god damn time.”
“Yeah yeah yeah. You hated that movie, hard.”
“IIIIII liike it! Better?”
“Boom. With the way you feel about Peter Weller, are you stoking my delicate male ego here?”
“Mmhmm. Annnd…honey?”
“Hmm?”
“God doesn’t exist, you’re the Easter bunny, Oz is real, and that guy? Not what you think.”
“Do you seriously think that as much as we’ve had to go through for one lousy word that your powers of persuasion are now infinite?”
“Had to try. Just screwing with you. Oh, maybe shouln’tda put it that way. Ha ha.”
“Yer still a chuckle and a half.”
“Hi-frickin-larious. And I love you.”
“Say that to me again in half an hour.”
“Make it an hour.”
“Sure, thing, baby.”
“God, no, no, no no no Stop! Stop!”
“Naawwww…”
“I was kidding! Really! Please don’t!”
“Not a chance, baby.”
“Aaarrrggh! I mean it! Don’t! I’ll leave you!”
“No, you won’t.”
“Yes! Yes I will! Stooppppp!!!”
“If you really mean that, why aren’t you struggling?”
“BECAUSE YOU TIED ME UP! LET ME GO! AAHH!”
“No.”
“NO! NO! NO! NO! AAARRGGG! I HATE YOU! MMBLPHPHMMM!”
“No you don’t.”
“YES I DO! Now let me GO!”
“Yes, no, yes, no. Gawd, you’re confusing.”
“Please, please, let me go. I didn’t mean it. Really. This is true now. I was only kidding. Let me go. PLEASE!”
“Oh, my god. You’re wet!”
“Noooooo!!!! I divorce you! I Divorce You! I DIVOOORCE YOOOUUUUUUU!”
“And not just a little wet, you are wet like a whore!”
“That can’t be. I hate this. I hate you. I want out. I refuse to be a victim!”
“Not until we finish this.” Uuuhgng.
“And This.” UURRHGHGNG.
“AND THIS!!” AARRRGHNOOOOOOO!!!
“…”
“Hhhh hhhh hhhh hhhhnnnnnn.”
“So. Was it good for you?”
“Pttooo.”
“Now that wasn’t nice, spitting on me; so mellow fucking out. Maybe something will have to be done about that.”
“You fucking bastard. How dare you do that to me. You know how I really felt!”
“God, your mixed messages are mixed-ier than usual. Hmmm?”
“Take your god damn hands off her. Me. You know what I mean. Let me go!”
“…Don’t you feel naked?”
“I am naked. I want my fucking clothes…I’m just an ordinary girl with nothing left to lose. Now. Oh god. God.”
“Hmmm. Who’s a rock star?”
“Ooohhhhhh. I’m a rock star.”
“What do you say?”
“…mmm….”
“C’mon, what do you say?”
“I…I…I love you….”
“That’ll do, pig. That’ll do.”