Celestial Reviews 340 – July 18, 1999
Note: After a few years of married life, this guy finds that he is unable to
perform anymore. He goes to his doctor, and his doctor tries a few things, but
nothing works.
Finally the doctor says to him, "This is all in your mind," and refers him to a
psychiatrist. After a few visits to the shrink, the shrink confesses, " I am
at a loss as to how you could possibly be cured."
Finally the psychiatrist refers him to a witch doctor.
The witch doctor tells him, "I can cure this!" He throws some powder on a
flame, and there is a flash with billowing blue smoke........ The witch doctor
says "This is powerful healing, but you can only use it once a year! All you
have to do is say '123' and it shall rise for as long as you wish!"
The guy then asks the witch doctor, "What happens when it's over?"
The witch doctor says, "All you have to say is '1234' and it will go down. But
be warned it will not work again for a year!"
The guy goes home and that night he is ready to surprise his wife with the good
news. So he is lying in bed with her and says "123," and suddenly he gets an
erection.
His wife turns over and says, "What did you say '123' for?"
Second note: This British explorer is in the darkest jungle, going where no
Western man has gone before. Accompanying him is his trusted guide,
interpreter, cook, and trouble-shooter in one. One day early in the morning,
they arrive at a lake and find a handsome dark young man engaged in "playful
activities" with ten beautiful, dark, young women, who are all naked. The young
man had the biggest, strongest penis the British Explorer had ever seen, or
even imagined. He was simply awed. He asked his guide who this man was.
"He is the prince of the tribe that lives on the other side of the lake, Sir,"
came the reply. "This is his morning ritual."
"Ask him," the awed Brit said to his companion, "how did his penis get to be
this size?"
The guide goes to the lake and talks to the man, who seems to get very agitated
by the conversation.
"Well, what did he say?" asked our hero to his assistant on his return.
"He said, 'There's nothing wrong with my penis. Doesn't the white man's shrink
in cold water?'
=====================
Celestial Reviews Index:
=====================
Correction: Here are the correct links to Wiseguy's "Intimate Adventures,"
which I reviewed in CR 339:
ftp://ftp.asstr.org/pub/Authors/Wiseguy/IntAdv1.txt
ftp://ftp.asstr.org/pub/Authors/Wiseguy/IntAdv2.txt
ftp://ftp.asstr.org/pub/Authors/Wiseguy/IntAdv3.txt
ftp://ftp.asstr.org/pub/Authors/Wiseguy/IntAdv4.txt
ftp://ftp.asstr.org/pub/Authors/Wiseguy/IntAdv5.txt
ftp://ftp.asstr.org/pub/Authors/Wiseguy/IntAdv6.txt
"Doing It All Over" by Al Steiner (romance) 9.5, 10, 10
Part One
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=480392013
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=480392040
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=480392068
Part Two
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=483967120
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=483967137
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=483967159
Part Three
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=486198813
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=486199791
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=486199820
Part Four
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=491636006
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=491636018
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=491636033
Part Five
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=494313915
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=494315052
Part Six
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=496816813
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=496818310
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=496819309
Part Seven
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=499605833
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=499605846
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=499605884
Part Eight
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=501995270
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=501995286
Part Nine
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=504601225
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=504602634
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=504602653
Part Ten
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=507094045
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=507094064
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=507094080
Part Eleven
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=509706873
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=509709106
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=509709143
Part Twelve
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=512346743
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=512346767
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=512346792
Part Thirteen
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=515385030
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=515385944
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=515385964
Part Fourteen
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=517771276
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=517773206
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=517774273
Part Fifteen
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=520814327
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=520815616
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=520815630
Part Sixteen
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=523643322
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=523643339
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=523643360
Epilogue
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=526769587
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=526769606
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=526770815
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=526770828
"Helicopters" by Mark Aster (natural disaster) 10, 9, 8
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=523989551
"Marta in the Doorway" by Mark Aster (quickie) 10, 9, 9
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=523991349
"Partners" by Maria Gonzales (slutty cop in love) 10, 6, 6
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=523040085
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=523040091
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=523043865
"Conventions " by Harry Tasker (sex with prostitute) 10, 9, 9
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=519387047
"Fuck Calculus" by TMC (tcarvett@yahoo.com)
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=525013781
"Necrophilia" by Sarah Anne Talley (necrophilia) 10, 10, 9
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=505164459
=====================
Guest Reviews:
=====================
"Meaner Than a Junkyard Dog" by John A (fooling around).
Homer: 10, 8, 7
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=522209161
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=522285823
"The Evil of Hammond House" by Patrick Donovan (scary sex).
Maria: 10, 9, 9
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=511322388
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=511324811
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=511324819
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=511324831
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=511324850
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=511324839
"The Board Game" by Jess (wife watching). Nick: 5, 2, 0
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=526131463
"Bangkok Slaver" by Parker (sex slavery). Myers:
=====================
Here are the Reviews:
=====================
"Doing It All Over" by Al Steiner (al_steiner@hotmail.com).
{See Links in the Index.}
Saturday, September 3, 1984. A day that will live in infamy.
The protagonist in this story is a paramedic who was once nice to an elderly
Chinese man. This was a wise choice, since the old guy had the magical power to
grant wishes. The paramedic wished that he could be fifteen years old again and
still know what he knew at 32. And poof! Our hero is zapped back 17 years to
the old days – complete with an 8-track tape player and a black-and-white
television set.
Alas! We're into time travel here. Time travel is a complex type of science
fiction. For example, if our hero is able to change things, then his daughter
Becky might never live. And he knows some bad things will happen to some
people he loves. Can he change fate? And even if he can, SHOULD he? This is
very deep shit.
So Bill's brain stays at age 32, while his body and his surroundings revert to
age 15 in 1982 Spokane, Washington. Thus, he is able to remember his
masturbation fantasies with classmates and teachers, but he has forgotten his
class schedule and most of his algebra. {It's a matter of priorities!} Since he
also knows the future of many of his classmates, we get some interesting turns
of phrase: "She really was pretty good looking in a future trailer trash sort
of way." Oh, and the guy has the urge of a 32-year-old to get into a teenage
girl's pants; and it's legal, because he's a teenager too.
To bag his first girl, he uses this pick-up line while he is smoking pot with
two guys and a girl: "Have you guys ever considered how much religion has
fucked up our views on sex?"
At first our hero mostly goes about as a sort of hedonistic knight errant,
doing good for people who need help reaching sexual fulfillment and getting
their priorities in order and wreaking revenge upon assholes who screw up the
lives of others. He also corrects some of the mistakes of his previous life.
Most notably, he realizes that he was at least partly responsible for the fact
that a specific girl grew up to be a bitch-doctor, makes amends, and is
rewarded with the love of his life. Bill is a fully developed, complex
character. He starts out as a nice guy who misunderstands what has happened to
him and therefore comes across as a more selfish person than he really is and
who eventually overcomes some major obstacles in his recycled life.
That last sentence brings us to the main plot of the story. It's a good one.
Since the author tells it better than I can, I'll summarize it no more.
The fact that there is a lot to this story besides sex shouldn't suggest that
sex scenes are lacking or that they are unerotic. Quite the contrary. At the
beginning Billy's motto is always do whatever it takes to insure future
copulation. That's a variation of my Blowjob Principle, which he probably
picked up from this Newsgroup before his recycling. Later he incorporates that
Principle into a more mature outlook on life.
Believe it or not, this story had me wondering whether fate is nodal or
cascading. And also, if you lived your life over and over again without knowing
it, you wouldn't know it, and so how do you know you haven't? If a story can
maintain sexual tension while getting me to give serious consideration to
questions like these, the author MUST be doing something right.
This story is actually worth assigning to kids and requiring them to write book
reports about it. It beats the hell out of "The Great Gatsby." "At different
times in the story, Tracy and Nina both say that Billy has become an asshole.
Why do they say this, and what is your opinion of this evaluation?" That
question beats the hell out of "Why was Gatsby great?" Not that I have anything
against either Gatsby or any of the other insipid characters who populate
Fitzgerald's novel.
The story also challenges some simplistic assumptions about hedonism. But it
does so in a highly erotic way.
This story is not primarily a sex story at all. It's a creative exploration of
the sci-fi concept of time travel and how changes a person might make in prior
time influence "future" events that are really part of a different "past." A
second feature is an analysis of adolescent sex from the perspective of an
adult, who is actually able to act upon what he has learned from life's
experiences before going through those experiences. A third feature is the
personality development of the adult-turned-adolescent as he goes through these
life experiences. The fourth feature is the description of the sexual
activities, which are quite interesting in their own right.
A main theme of this story is its insight into adolescent sex from the
perspective of an adult, who is actually able to act upon what he has learned
from life's experiences before going through those experiences. For example, an
adult would know how much a guy can please a girl simply by being really
considerate and making sure she enjoys a sexual encounter before he has his own
orgasm. He also knows that he'll be richly rewarded for his courtesy (tit for
twat, as the British say). An adult also knows how stupid and counterproductive
it is to brag about sexual exploits. And an adult knows the wonderful value of
a girl who is rejected by peers because she studies too much or has a lisp and
what a treasure that person might be if someone took the trouble to look. An
adult knows the importance of inner beauty.
In addition, the story includes detailed descriptions of non-sexual events that
give the story its depth. For example, the author supplies anecdotes about the
life of a paramedic that make us believe that this is a real human being. And
the narrator not only wants to get laid during his "recycling," he's also
interested in helping his friends avoid the pitfalls that he knows they will
encounter in their real lives unless they shape up. Oh, and he's the only
teenager that wore a seatbelt, back in those days before engineers applied the
Venus Flytrap Principle that causes Killer Seatbelts to encapsulate the driver
and all front-seat passengers when the doors close or the ignition starts.
The bad part of this story is that it seems to condone the use of marijuana.
That's a very bad thing to do. Marijuana leads to cocaine and heroine just as
surely as masturbation leads to pulling a train. Or so some people think. On
the other hand, the story has specific redeeming value. For example, it
explains the value of that Introductory Philosophy course that people take in
college: "I’m taking it now." Says Tracy. "I like it. They go into a lot of
the stuff that I think about when I get stoned." Put that in your college
catalog and smoke it!
If you are a person who wants to write the best sex story of the year, my
advice to you is to write your story next year. This year is already taken.
And if Al Steiner can't find a way to make a fortune off this story through
normal publication channels, there's something wrong with the porn industry. Al
can tell them I said so.
By the way, it turns out that the main outcomes of this story depend on whether
realignments of Fate are nodal or cascading. Imagine that. And you'll have to
read the whole story to find out what happens on September 3, 1984.
The story has some irritating grammar problems – like misused words and
sentences that begin but don't end – nothing that a little proofreading
wouldn't fix. Ignore them, and read the story.
Al concludes his disclaimer to the Epilogue with, "Celeste, you were wrong, I
never did write myself into a corner." I'm not sure about that. Keeping in mind
that I already have said that this is an outstanding story, let me point out
some things that seem problematic to me.
I see four shortcomings with this story. First, Bill proposes to Nina without
telling her about his "recycling" – and even without considering the
possibility of telling her. He shares the knowledge with his sister and with
his father, but doesn't even consider sharing this information with the love of
his life. I'd be pretty pissed (in the American sense) if my lover treated me
that way. Unless I missed something, this is a really serious oversight.
Second, Bill's meddling in the stock market seems problematic. That is, if he
advises someone to buy stocks, that has to have an impact on someone else,
perhaps someone for whom the stocks will not be available and who might buy a
competitor's stock. This would influence the stock market in ways similar to
betting trends influence paramutual betting at racetracks. In addition, people
who lose their fortunes (because Bill's clients are gaining fortunes) do
unusual things, like taking their kids out of college, beating their kids,
committing suicide, or engaging in mass murders.
Related to the above is the fact that Bill would probably be accused of insider
trading; but after I wrote the preceding clause the FBI showed up in the
epilogue and covered the possibility. I think the FBI is the wrong agency: when
Bill and Thad show up to check out my assets occasionally, they claim to be
representing the SEC's arm of the U.S. Government, but that may just be a bad
pun. Of course, there's also the likelihood that a nasty son of a bitch would
have Bill murdered or kidnap a member of his family – but an author has a right
not to go there.
Third, I think the author underestimates the pressures that would occur if a
person had foreknowledge of cataclysmic events. For example, America's Space
Shuttle is going to explode during Bill's recycling, and I think foreknowledge
of such events would be psychologically oppressive. Personally, I would have
great difficulty flying my Cessna around Puget Sound, knowing that John Denver
was going to crash his own plane there shortly.
Fourth, I would have liked to see the introduction of additional significant
events. For example, Bill presumes that Nina's sour personality in his former
life occurred entirely because of the way she had been treated as an
adolescent. I would have enjoyed the possibility that maybe some other factor
would have contributed to this personality problem – a factor that they would
have had to deal with together.
Now, Al can tell me that he has a perfectly good story without considering any
of these four factors, and he may be right. The story had me waiting for each
weekend to see the next installment, and it had me shedding tears that were
followed by subsequent passionate sex. So the author is obviously doing a lot
of things right. But if I were Al, I'd go back and either have Bill discuss his
recycling with Nina or at least insert an explanation of why Bill decided
against this course of action. It's a really glaring omission, and it doesn't
have to stay there. Consider it a suggestion from Mr. Li: you CAN recycle the
lives of the people in you’re a.s.s. stories.
Ratings for "Doing It All Over"
Athena (technical quality): 9.5
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"Helicopters" by Mark Aster (myfrthal@aol.com). The author's stories are
archived at http://users.aol.com/myfrthal/.
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=523989551
Mary and Daniel find themselves together as the apparent sole survivors in a
primitive area after a natural disaster – probably an earthquake followed by a
mudslide that killed the other people they were with. Daniel is about 20 years
old and is very scared. Mary is fifteen years his senior and is trying to keep
her act together, while they wait for the helicopters that will eventually come
to rescue them. What will happen next? Read the story to find out.
This story does not have the high-charged sexual atmosphere of the "My Friends
the Allens" stories that this author has written in the past. It is a
well-written story of a different genre.
Ratings for "Helicopters"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 9
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 8
"Marta in the Doorway" by Mark Aster (myfrthal@aol.com). The author's stories
are archived at http://users.aol.com/myfrthal/.
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=523991349
The narrator has given Marta a call and asked if he can stay over at her place
while he's in town. When he kisses her, she comments that it has been a long
time. He thinks to himself that "she doesn't just mean how long it's been since
I held her and fucked her, but also how long it's been since anyone did. He
continues, "Hey, who's to blame for that, when she radiates enough Attitude to
scare away anyone with enough sense to want her in the first place?" That's a
pretty good description of the ambience of this story.
Well, she doesn't scare everyone away, since they fuck happily.
Ratings for "Marta in the Doorway"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 9
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9
"Partners" by Maria Gonzales (maria1971@aol.com).
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=523040085
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=523040091
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=523043865
Officer Felicitas Ramirez is a person of many talents. Officer Frank Williams
is her partner.
Sometimes it seems that Felicitas really enjoys working the street. Her problem
really is that she really does enjoy walking around out there wearing tiny
little skirts and having men leer at her. But then Frank falls in love with
her, explains to her the difference between true love and sex, and makes tender
love to her. It looks like she might get her act together.
Some of the sex scenes in this story are good. The problem is that the author
tries to integrate a complex personality into a sophisticated plot, but comes
up way short. First we have Feli acting naughty as a slut, then naughty but
confused as a cop, then getting busted as a slut, then giving a synopsis of her
life to her partner, and then falling in love with her partner. The synopsis of
the life comes across as an oversimplification, and there is neither a
rationale for the changes in her behavior nor many hints regarding why Frank
would fall in love with her in the first place.
This is the basis for a good story, but it would require a lot more development
to reach its potential.
Ratings for "Partners"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 6
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 6
"Conventions" by Harry Tasker (harry-tasker@harry-tasker.nospamdemon.co.uk)
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=519387047
Our protagonist visits a prostitute to relieve his needs. The sex is not very
sexy at all, but it's not supposed to be. Why is that? You'll have to read the
story to find out. I doubt that it will bring you to a raging orgasm, but this
is a good story. Maybe you should read it to cool yourself down between
chapters of "Doing It All Over."
Ratings for "Conventions"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 9
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9
"Fuck Calculus" by TMC (tcarvett@yahoo.com)
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=525013781
This is the only story that has ever brought together Zeno and Isaac Newton in
a short sex story. It's worth reading, although it will take you twice as long
to find it as it will to read it. However, I think I'll refrain from rating
this one.
No Ratings for "Fuck Calculus"
"Necrophilia" by Sarah Anne Talley (Keeper6790@aol.com)
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=505164459
Our narrator is a computer geek who has become almost comatose from a raging
hardon that arose while he has been surfing x-rated sites for several hours. So
he jerks off while thinking about Christine the Beautiful and Bountiful
Cheerleader.
Besides being a computer geek, he has a part-time job at the local mortuary. On
the graveyard shift, so to speak.
So finally he works up his nerve to ask Christine out on a date, and she
brushes him off as some sort of common nuisance. Alas, before they can be
reconciled, Christine dies of a massive stroke while performing at the high
school football game.
Since what he lusts after is Christine's body, there must be some way he can
bring fulfillment out of the chaos in his life, some way to join his vocation
and his avocation. Can you guess what will happen. For a hint see the story's
title.
Never having made love to a dead body, I don't know exactly how this would
work. I imagine it would be hard <g>.
This reminds me of an interesting story, which is possibly apocryphal. It seems
that Mr. Johnson, the town butcher, died while he had a raging hardon. When
rigor mortis set in, the hardon stayed. The body was brought to the funeral
home, and Mort the mortician was assigned to prepare the body for burial. When
he saw Mr. Johnson's Big Johnson still standing at attention, he was struck
with admiration and thought, "Damn! My wife will never believe this!" So he
sliced the member off and put it in one of those jewelry display boxes and
brought it home to his wife.
As he walked through the door, he handed the box to his wife and said, "You'll
never believe what's inside this box!"
His wife opened the box and immediately became hysterical, screaming, "Omigod!
Johnson the butcher is dead!"
Ratings for "Necrophilia"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9
=====================
Guest Reviews:
=====================
"Meaner Than a Junkyard Dog" by John A (<ohn3365a@aol.com). Guest reviewed by
Homer Vargas vargas111@yahoo.com.
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=522209161
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=522285823
Superlatively bad Leroy Brown is an entrepreneur in the Chicago gaming
industry. Leroy has an SO, Monique, of whom he is fond, but not fond enough to
perform cunnilingus, concerning which he entertains some strange sociological
prejudices. Alas, Leroy is tempted sometimes to stray from fair Monique’s
arms. Well, Monique is really "cocoa colored," but you get the idea.
After a night of lucrative gaming transactions Leroy takes a fancy to a young
lady in the drinking establishment where the wagering is taking place.
Unfortunately and post coitally, she turns out to be the romantic liaison of a
business rival who looks askance on Leroy’s having been intimate with his lady
friend. A disagreement ensues and the rival bests Leroy in an altercation that
requires him to seek medical attention. Reflecting on this turn of events,
Leroy decides to ask the hand of fair Monique in matrimony.
I found a serious mismatch between the story being told and the language used,
though not as bad as the parody above. On the positive side, you can learn
something about how craps is played (or at least John fooled me.) OTOH we
never do find out if Leroy wises up about eating Monique’s pussy.
Perhaps if you are familiar with the song "Bad Bad Leroy Brown" you may find
the story more appealing.
Athena 10
Venus 8
Homer 7
"The Evil of Hammond House" by Patrick Donovan (PatrickDonovan01@hotmail.com).
Guest review by Maria Gonzales.
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=511322388
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=511324811
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=511324819
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=511324831
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=511324850
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=511324839
I have to confess, I am having trouble writing this review.
The problem is how to review it. Is it a horror story with sex? Or is it a
sexy story with horror? I guess it doesn't really matter, because the story
handles both genres nicely. Without giving too much of the original plot away,
a group of students have a little accident, and they have to spend some time at
mad doctor's residence. Doesn't sound original, does it? But there are some
nice twists involved along the way, and I found myself at times feeling sorry
for the bad guy, even after he offed a few of the students.
Horror movies are like Disney movies, the stronger the villain, the better the
movie. The villain in this story is well rounded and scary, his motives are
well explained and he makes the story worth reading.
Am I leaving anything out? Oh yeah, the sex. Sorry, I forgot this was the
Celestial Reviews, and some people want to hear about all of the fucking and
sucking going on. There is quite a bit of sex in the story, some of it even
integral to the plot. It is well written and I could see the characters in my
head doing what was being described, not an easy thing to do for even the best
erotica writer.
I recommend this story, but take a little off because it is a little
predictable at times.
My ratings for this story are:
Athena: 10
Venus: 9
Maria: 9
"The Board Game" by Jess (e-mail not supplied). Guest review by Nick (e-mail
nick@cassandra.demon.co.uk).
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=526131463
This is a first time story. It is about how the author's wife has sex with lots
of different people. It runs to about 10,000 words and there is really not much
else to say about it except that I found it boring. I'm sorry to do this to a
first time writer but I cannot even offer advice as to how it might be
improved.
Ratings for "The Board Game":
Athena (technical skills) 5
Venus (plot/character) 2
Appeal 0
"Bangkok Slaver" by Parker. Guest review by Dave Myers.
When I saw that the author was Parker, I knew that this story would be pretty
much politically incorrect through and through. As you might expect, the plot,
flow, and grit of the story were very polished, and the themes explored were
disturbing, even for this well-heeled reader.
Welcome to the nightclub circuit of Bangkok, where the girls that everyone
really wants to see do the nastiest things, and have no choice about the
matter. It's a pretty standard setting for a porn story, but the narration
unfolds with an eerily uneasy nostalgic tone from a man who is caught in the
middle of the action. Punctuated by nightmares, our narrator has to come to
grips with how he fits in with the situation. It is clear that this is very
difficult. As things go on, some intrigue is revealed and there is a bit of a
scrape involving law enforcement. However, this is all really backdrop to the
psychological story being told.
There isn't a whole lot of sex going on that is detailed in any kind of
"typical" style. What we do get is more gut wrenching, and more real than just
about any story I've ever seen that was set in a slavery motif. But don't
worry, you'll keep reading just to see how it ends.
What I liked most is that the author is at the same time very self conscious
and also not afraid to be evocative. This is used to advantage, and Parker can
get away with phrases like "I felt like a character in a B movie with lines
like that." In the end, the story pulls it all off nicely, and leaves questions
unanswered that will keep us thinking for a little while. How many "sex"
stories have you read like that?.
My only quibble, and it's a small one, is that there was a little too much
pidgin English used in some of the scenes. Sure - this is "in character", and
sure - this fits with the un-PC image of the story, but I found myself less
absorbed after a point, trying to step over the mock-oriental speech pattern
that was being projected.
<end>