Subject:     My Inner War
Story Codes: MF incest father daughter
Posted:      November 7, 2014
Posted By:   Kelly <pghpa_girl@yahoo.com>

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                              !!!WARNING!!!!

This file contains sexually explicit material which may include graphic 
depictions of underage, nonconsensual and unprotected sex as well as 
incest, adultery, sodomy and bestiality.  It is distributed on a website 
clearly identified as "For Adults Only".  Possession by a minor is 
strictly forbidden.  If you are not legally empowered to be in possession 
of such material, do not read it and delete it immediately.

This work is copyrighted 2014 to the author. It may be posted to non- 
commercial "free" sites, or in the "free" area of commercial sites so 
long as no changes are made to the content and the Author information is 
retained.   Any other use of this work is by written permission of the 
Author only.

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Summary
=======
Needless to say I chat with a lot of men and all of them are unique.  OMG, 
some of the stories they tell me!  I estimate that at least 99% of them 
are just fantasies, even when they claim that what they’re telling me is 
true.  Since it seems to get them off to if I pretend to believe them I 
usually play along until things get to the point of being ridiculous.

Every now and then a guy contacts me who eventually reveals enough 
information that I believe him.  Usually this isn’t a deliberate choice on 
his part but more like putting the pieces of a puzzle together until 
finally the picture is revealed.  Not that I’m interested in “outing” 
anyone - it’s just a game I like to play.

While I can’t reveal information this particular guy gave me - or even 
what type of information it is, I CAN that it’s enough such that I’m 100% 
sure it’s not just another masturbation fantasy.  He wrote everything you 
will read here.  I’ve done some minor editing to the names and fix some 
spelling and grammar errors but other than that it’s just as he e-mailed 
it to me.

Table of Contents
=================
   Chapter 1 - Introduction
   Chapter 2 - Awakenings
   Chapter 3 - Actions
   Chapter 4 - Consequences
   Chapter 5 - Life After Death
   Chapter 6 - Postlude by Kelly

*******************

Chapter 1 - Introduction
========================
I suppose from one standpoint my inner war has not been any different from 
the inner war that all men face.  Every man knows by experience, as most 
women know by intuition, that men are motivated by sex.  I'm not exactly 
sure why God made it that way.  If anything, motivated is too weak of a 
word.  Very few women truly understand the inner compulsion, the deep, 
base sexual motivations of men.  Instead, most women "understand" it from 
the standpoint of knowing that it exists and find it repulsive or nasty.  
So we men do what we do "best", we push down the feelings, pretend like 
they don't exist, try to hide them from our wives and others, and just 
don't talk about it.  But the thoughts and feelings don't disappear simply 
because we stuff them in a bag in our soul.  So we get into porn.  We 
flirt.  We fantasize.  We masturbate like crazy.   We cheat, if not 
physically then emotionally.

It may be a joke on TV but it’s true - men think about sex pretty much all 
the time.  Pretty woman walks by... I immediately mentally picture what 
she looks like naked.  Are those her real breasts?  Did she see me looking 
at them?  Does she shave her pussy?  Does she masturbate?  What would it 
be like to fuck her?  Does she like sex?  Pretty much every woman gets 
this type mental rundown, even if I'm standing next to my wife and 
daughters. 

Yet there’s more to every man than just this mindless drive for sex.  
After all, how else could there be a war if there was only one side?  It's 
the “good” side.  The hero. The protector.  The knight in shining armor.  
I think that side is part of what theology calls imago dei (image of God), 
at least that's what the Bible says.  We are created in God's image.  We 
are soulish and have remnants of a perfect state.  There is a part of 
every man... a part of me... that wants to be the knight in shining armor 
protecting those around me, the females in my life.  But there is that 
other part in me, the shadowy side producing the war that is motivated 
sexually and wants to feel the pleasure and emotional connection of 
unending  sex with females I'm not married to.  Imago Dei vs. the Fall. 

My situation with my sister-in-law and her daughter, Lora and Brooke, is a 
perfect example.  I'm a caring, sensitive person. Bingo. That's me. All 
guy, but intuitive and loving. I'm just as likely to watch Pride and 
Prejudice (Colin Firth version) as LOTR. So when Brooke is hurting and 
needs a man to offer guidance and protection... and when Lora needs a job 
because her husband left her and I can help, I want to willingly. I love 
them both, and it makes me feel good... no... feel useful, powerful... to 
help them. And yet... I've been attracted to Lora sexually since high 
school. And I've seen Brooke grow up into the epitome of sexuality and 
desire and I can't stop thinking about them. 

It’s Good Mark vs. Bad Mark. 

My Inner War.

I once heard a female friend use a Star Wars analogy. She said that there 
are good guys (Luke Skywalker) and bad boys (Han Solo). Women would marry 
Luke but secretly like Han (the bad boy). So women are conflicted too. 
Women like good and bad boys and probably have a part of them that wants 
to be the good girl and sometimes the bad girl. Guys have those split 
desires too in terms of themselves and their mates. 

What a jumbled mess!  I thought that becoming a Christian and getting 
married would end this war.  Big nope. I became a Christian at fifteen 
after having no spiritual influence in my life.  Prior to that I had 
access to porn magazines through my dad and friends and have masturbated 
like crazy since early elementary school. Had brief sexual experiences 
with three elementary girls my age (which will come into view later) 
around first or second grade. After becoming a Christian, I still 
struggled with the porn sometimes (but the access was gone) but continued 
to jerk off like there was no tomorrow. I'd fantasize about girls at 
school (names too numerous to mention), teachers (especially my music 
teacher, Miss Noland), women in the neighborhood or on TV. Any female was 
fair game. 

Then I started dating Elaine. Good Christians don't touch or fondle or do 
PC, right? Well, we had the natural progression of kissing to hands over 
clothes to hands under clothes to nudity to orgasms. Never actually fucked 
in the technical sense. Good Christians don't do that, remember?  But we 
did everything else. I certainly liked it. She sure seemed to as well. 
What a big surprise and a feeling like I was snookered when the sex 
quotient dropped immediately after marriage. Bamboozled. She grew up in an 
ultra-conservative fundamentalist denomination and part of that upbringing 
still haunts her today. Her anger, desire for control and repressed 
sexuality is... I'm not sure what wording would to use. 

I remember laying on the couch in my parents' living room the day before 
my wedding at the age of 20 thinking, "Tomorrow all of my sexual 
temptations will disappear. I'll be married and can have sex all the 
time." That’s one thing I don't think girls understand. For men marriage 
means the ability to have his own legal, sanctioned porn show. In his mind 
it would be the "sex channel" (all sex, all the time). Obviously sex is 
different for women both in frequency (most don't need it as much) and 
meaning (expression of the relationship). When men do open up with each 
other secretly they all agree that their sex life after marriage, even 
right after marriage, was a big letdown. 

So in my case, we hadn't had actual sex before marriage. Crazy me... I 
thought we would after we said the vows! First night of honey moon she 
starts her period. Totally not her fault so not mad about that one. But 
afterwards we kept not doing it. We'd do other stuff... the things we did 
while dating... but not actual sex. We tried but she said it hurt. My cock 
was too big (which any guy loves to hear!), but I've played enough sports 
and showered with enough guys to know that’s not true. 

Weeks go by...

Her mom privately tells her that she needs to let me do it (even if it 
hurts) or I'd probably get an annulment so we fuck. She doesn't like it 
and cries and sensitive Mark feels bad. So we go back to playing around. 
Weeks go by. Months go by. I'm married. I'm in college with the highest 
sex drive of my life, surrounded by sexy college girls and not getting 
anything. 

Good Mark - love your wife like Christ loved the church. Bad Mark - can't 
I just get some pussy? 

So emotional distance builds between us.  Admittedly, we’re both in 
college and busy. That following summer a girl my age starts flirting with 
me at work. Nothing happened though she did pat my ass in a very obvious 
way when no one was looking to send me a clear message. But at a party, 
Elaine can tell that the girl (Cheryl) was flirting. Goes ballistic. Calls 
her parents. I'm a scum bag. We need counseling. We go to the church, and 
it did help. But three revelations are seared into my brain. 1) the 
surprised look on the pastor’s face when he found out that we’d been 
married about a year with pretty much no sex 2) her mom had to tell her to 
fuck me, and 3) two weeks after we got married, Elaine was finger fucked 
by her gynecologist for twenty minutes alone in the room after he told the 
nurse to leave the room. He turned down the light, she was completely 
nude, he took off his gloves and finger fucked her with two fingers trying 
to get her horny. She liked it. Never made him stop. Bingo! Even an 
emotionally repressed guy like me can figure that one out - she feels 
guilty! That's the reason we are not doing it! Problem solved! Now we will 
have regular sex!

Nope. 

Months moved into years...

We did it enough to have three beautiful daughters (it's amazing how much 
we did it when she wanted to get pregnant). But we did it infrequently 
enough that I continued to struggle with masturbation (multiple times per 
week). Not really porn (in physical form), just mental porn (remembering 
things I'd seen or mentally undressing females).  Never kissed another 
woman. Never fucked another woman. Would hug every once in a while, but 
sparingly. Truly tried to keep it all inside of me and be Good Mark. 

Well, that's not true in one area. Because of my relational, sensitive 
side, I'd connect easily with women at work. Mind you I truly never 
intended to make an emotional connection. It just happened. I'd be 
friendly, care about them as a person, and viola, we'd be close. Once a 
coworker invited me over to her apartment for lunch ("my roommate will be 
gone"). One boss liked to touch a lot and told me how she didn't shave her 
pussy. One told me that I should come over to her place to "study" even 
though we had no classes together... her husband would be gone and I 
should tell Elaine I'm at the library. The list goes on. Every guy  has a 
sexual ego and thinks that every woman wants him. Delusions of grandeur! 
But I have been propositioned by no fewer than twelve women... not 
flirting... propositioned. 

Bad Mark wanted to, in some ways needed to, but Good Mark won. 

But was Good Mark really good? No. I'd masturbate thinking about these 
women. In my mind and emotions I cheated. I needed to feel an emotional 
connection with a woman. Actually fuck someone who wanted not just an 
orgasm... she wanted me. I was starving sexually at home. From a guy's 
perspective I was faithful. But since women view emotional attachment as 
cheating I was Bad Mark. Which made irregular sex become infrequent sex 
which creates a chicken or the egg discussion. 

The Bible talks about victory over sinful desires. I got to the point 
where I wondered if that was pie in the sky. My sexual desires are so 
strong and powerful that I can't imagine victory. I imagine keeping them 
under wraps, keeping them controlled, but not more than that. 

So at some point, I wouldn't try to fight the mental undressing of women 
any more. I'd just do it. Once Elaine became addicted to prescription 
medication (not her fault) and didn't live with us so I was raising three 
daughters on my own for months with no resolution in sight. Even after she 
moved back part time it wasn't really a marriage.  Legally we were married 
so I had to be faithful but I was even lonelier than before. No one to 
even fight with. She was like another child needing my care. Good Mark 
rose to the challenge and saved my family (I was super dad). But Bad Mark 
had growing sexual needs. 

I now had time and opportunity to spend time with porn. I know it's all 
fake. I don't know why guys like it like we do. I could more easily 
explain thermodynamics. We just do. We are visual. But I had a thought... 
viewing pictures might be wrong... what about reading about sex. Is that 
wrong? Maybe that is ok? So at first I started to read erotica. Normal 
stuff. MF kind of stuff. Some group sex. 

Then, I got on a genre that I had not ever been exposed to. Mf, Fm, and 
mf. At first I was shocked but I kept reading. Sometimes it involved 
family, parents and kids. I was more shocked but I kept reading. A little 
voice inside my head started knocking on my consciousness. I’d seen my 
girls naked many, many times. I’d seen my nieces too, and other girls. 
When those situations occurred I began to realize just how long my gaze 
lingered, or how carefully I’d washed them, or how accidentally I would 
press against them in the pool or hold them with their legs around my 
waist. When it happened I repressed it or didn't realize it. 

Now after reading these stories, some claiming to be true, I began to look 
at my actions differently... I had the same motivations as the people in 
the stories. I'm reading multiple authors. Is this a common desire? Do I 
want the same relationship with my daughters? Have I always wanted that? 

When I found Kelly’s Diary on ASSTR I went into orbit. It was so personal 
that I felt like I was reading a transcript of her brain and heart. Being 
turned by her life on led to fantasies about my own life, my daughters and 
my nieces. Fantasy led to masturbation. Masturbation led to actions. 

But I still had, and have, the conflict. Bad Mark vs. Good Mark. This is 
just a beginning, but I had to set the context and get it off my chest. 


Chapter 2 - Awakenings
======================
It is amazing how my views on sex and nudity have changed. Well, maybe 
changed is not the right word. Expanded. So far I’ve described my life, my 
marriage, my sexual frustration, my advent into erotica and how I 
discovered a whole new world of writers who embraced and practiced incest. 
It was shocking at first and yet there was something in my mind that kept 
reading...and reflecting on things I’d seen or done. 

Like most young boys my first introduction to a naked woman was my mother. 
Growing up we weren’t nudists by any stretch of the imagination but I did 
see my parents naked every once in a while - my mom more than my dad. I'd 
walk into her room not knowing she was changing. Remember, this is the 
late 1970's so she had a full bush. Sometimes she'd be naked just coming 
out of the shower. Other times, she'd have panty hose on with no underwear 
so all of her hair was mashed up against the hose. Even at six, my eyes 
were like magnets drawn to her pussy. 

I don't remember the exact sequence... whether I saw her changing first or 
whether she had me shower with her first. I think it was the latter, which 
is why she didn't freak when I would see her. My dad left us when I was in 
like first grade so I was always very close with my mom, the closest to 
her of any of my brothers. I remember several times when it would be 
evening. At that time I was a once a week shower guy. Young boys don't 
need more than that until they really mature and start sweating. She would 
say that she wanted to save time and water by showering together which we 
would do. I don't have exact memories, just impressions. I remember both 
of us getting naked in her bathroom, exposing myself to her and seeing her 
naked for the first time. I knew only in general terms about a woman's 
naked body so to see her was a thrill. Step into the shower. Wash our 
bodies. Again I only have impressions but I seem to remember washing her 
breasts and her pussy at her request. She also had me sleep in the bed 
with her a few times. Again, my dad was gone. I don't recall if we were 
nude or not. At that age is wasn’t really "sexual".  Yes I enjoyed it but 
I didn't really understand everything. It wasn’t until recently that I put 
two and two together. I was introduced to the idea of incest by my mom at 
an early age. 

I had always remembered those instances, but only in a passive way... 
until I began reading erotica. Was my mom attracted to me? Did I really 
wash her pussy? She invited me to sleep in her bed so did she want to 
touch me?  Did she masturbate thinking about me, her son? Did she ever 
fantasize about me fucking her?
 
Earlier I said my world expanded rather than changed. That happened on 
another topic too. Again, it was the 1970's so hairy pussy was the norm -  
even young boys know that. My first exposure to porn magazines was from a 
neighbor boy. His dad had large... no... huge collection. I must have been 
around eight or so. I went over to Mike's. There was a group of us - don't 
remember all of the individuals. He asked if we wanted to see it. We all 
said no. LOL. Of course we said yes! It must have been late fall because I 
remember we walked behind his house to the corn field which had only dirt 
and dry corn stalks scattered on the ground. He let us see it. I remember 
the images of one picture in particular which has shaped what turns me on 
to this day. Fully naked woman standing there. Brunette. Full breasts and 
a full brunette bush. Just standing there with her legs slightly apart, 
but not pulling her lips apart. 

That image to a young boy, a full breasted woman with a full bush, is (or 
at least it was for me) sexuality. Young boys think girls are icky. But 
women are sexual (not that young boys think in that exact term). So that 
was my entrance. To this day, I love the picture of a hairy bush. Not 
crazy hairy. Not lips being pulled apart. Just a woman standing there 
naked. She doesn't even have to look sexual. 

So that experience and the desires it created in me ran counter to my next 
sexual experiences. And those experiences would come into view later with 
my newfound erotica. 

Again, I'm still roughly the same age... six to eight years old. We had 
some family friends who lived in a nearby neighborhood with a daughter my 
age named Tracy. She and I didn't see each other very often but since our 
parents had gone to college together we saw them regularly. It must have 
been summer. I was over for the day. Sometimes I would play with Tracy 
(but remember, girls are icky) and sometimes with her brother about four 
years old than me which translated meant I was a little squirt and not 
very interesting to him. So I mostly played with her.

All normal stuff. Until this day. She asked if I wanted to play a game. 
Sure. The game was doctor. Both her mom and her brother were home which 
meant the examining room (her bedroom) door needed to be closed. Door 
closes. Again... I remember images... we both ended up naked, looking and 
touching each other. I do remember that she wanted me to do something for 
her. She laid down on her back on the floor by the foot of her bed, spread 
her legs, took a special plastic knife that she said she uses for this and 
put it right on her clit! At the time I had no idea about female anatomy, 
clits, orgasms, etc. but she held it there and moved her hips. Then she 
asked me to hold it there while she still moved slightly. 

Unfortunately, all good things come to an end! Her brother knocked on the 
door asking where I was. She lied and said outside while I ducked under 
her bed, completely nude. We had to get dressed. Nothing like that ever 
happened again... at least with her. 

Tracy was friends with Lynne (a next door neighbor) and Andy (who also 
lived in my neighborhood). Our family was friends with them too. I'm 
guessing that Tracy told Lynne and Andy about everything because at some 
point in the not too distant future I was playing at Lynne's house and she 
wanted to get naked in her bedroom. That one didn't involve any touching. 
However, Andy did. We ended up getting naked in her bedroom as well.  She 
laid on her back and had me lick her with her legs spread. 

Three hairless, young, beautiful pussies in a very short span of time! No 
boy would refuse that because they want to see pussy in any form. However, 
it planted a seed in me. At that point, I preferred a woman's hairy crotch 
like I had seen in the pictures and at home. But I was now exposed to 
something sensual... a hairless young pussy... and something more... the 
understanding that girls can be horny too. 

So reading the erotica brought the experiences with those girls into full 
view. I'm reading author after author talk about how beautiful a 
developing girl looks. Flashback. I remember that! I'm reading about how 
they can be turned on. Flashback. I masturbated a girl and licked another 
one. They asked me to!

I then began to remember events from my early years as a dad. No, not 
changing diapers. Only sickos get excited about that kind of pussy. I'm 
talking about a little older. I remembered our old ranch house, our first 
house, and how I would sometimes give the older girls baths alone. They'd 
strip down, get in the tub and play. Of course I'd have to wash them but 
nothing sexual ever went on. Still, I began to reflect on just how much I 
enjoyed seeing them. OMG. I really enjoyed it. Is that true? I began to 
think about how when I would wash them I'd wash their pussies intently. 
Did I really do that?  I thought back to Tracy, Lynne, and Andy. I thought 
about my daughters. I've always been attracted to hairy pussy, right. 
That’s when my world expanded. Hairy pussy, yes. But also hairless, 
developing pussy. And apparently, not just girls, but also daughters.

I remember which each of the older girls I was allowed to give baths up 
until the time where they were developing pussy hair. For both of them, in 
fact all three of them, that was early... around eight years old. Dark 
hair would start at the top of the slit and grow south and dad was excused 
from bathing duties. But even after my firing I would look at them 
differently. Not really sexual but there was an attraction. No tits yet 
but pussy hair, and remember, pussy hair is one of my turn-ons. 

And not just daughters, but apparently also nieces. Brooke and Lindsey's 
family had a pool. We would swim from time to time. At roughly age six to 
eight (is that when it starts for everyone?) I was flashed by Lindsey. I 
went in to use the downstairs bathroom and she was coming out. She looked 
up at me after just having peed, smiled, stripped off her suit quickly, 
looked up at me seeing that I was staring at her pussy and giggled and ran 
away. I got a nice view. Brooke did something similar a few years later. 
Teasing Uncle Mark. Bad girls!

And then there was the time we went on vacation with Brooke and her family 
when she was thirteen. All day long I lusted after her, never seeing her 
slit but seeing the outline of it regularly as her suit hugged her pussy. 
Then that night while Elizabeth was asleep and Brooke was on her phone at 
the place where my family was staying it was just the three of us in the 
room. Brooke was laying with her legs pulled up on a couch. She had on 
very loosely fitting shorts that gapped. I knelt by her on the floor and 
asked to see her pictures. Look at the phone. Look at her gap in her 
shorts. Phone. shorts. Yes, my interest in her pictures was feigned but 
only me and my growing cock knew. 

While looking I lightly moved my right hand to touch the inner portion of 
her lower thigh and was inches away from her pussy because of her 
position. She quivered slightly but didn't reposition herself or move my 
hand. After a minute or two she relaxed and I got up the nerve to move my 
hand over. I was going to put it over her clothes on her pussy and put my 
finger on my lips to signal her silence. Just at that moment, the sliding 
glass door opened (covered by curtains), and it was Elaine and Lora. I 
moved my hand, and we both acted like we were looking at her phone. 
Elizabeth was asleep in the room on another couch which aided the 
perception of normality. 

But all of these instances... daughters, nieces, girls growing up, the 
erotica and authors who said they liked it... meaning incest... turned 
something on inside of me. To that point whenever I would masturbate I 
would intentionally not think of my daughters. Nieces and other developing 
girls were fair game (I am a man, after all), but I would not include my 
daughters. With my newfound revelation of my lingering eyes and hands I 
began to incorporate them into my fantasies... seeing them... them seeing 
me... washing them... them washing me... them sleeping in my bed like I 
did with my mom.... touching them... masturbating them like I did to 
Tracy... licking them like I did Andy... and all of that was from things I 
had experienced. 

Those led to other fantasies which I had not experienced but now wanted... 
them holding my cock... sucking it... me showing them how a man 
masturbates... eating them out... tickling their slits and inserting a 
finger in them.... tickling their pussies with me erect cock... inserting 
into them to be their first. 

It was an expanded world, a confusing world, but my reading made me 
realize I'm not alone. Yet it was all just fantasy until I started 
interacting with one of the writers.  From what I could tell she was real 
and really practiced incest.  She was sexually aggressive and encouraged 
me to act.  At first I was shocked at her suggestions but my sexual 
consciousness kept knocking.   If I was being honest with myself she was 
only putting into words what I had been afraid to admit, even to myself.


Chapter 3 - Actions
===================
I’m not really sure what it was that triggered it.  When did fantasy turn 
to reality?  What drove me?  How could I have done it?

It started off so innocently, at least from a man’s perspective.  I was 
chatting and describing my thoughts and desires and the subject of 
tributes came up.  I’d seen such things on porn sites but never really 
thought about doing such a thing myself.  It just seems... bad.

But then as we talked I began to understand the motivation... I didn’t 
just want of think about my daughters when I masturbated, I wanted them to 
be a part of it. I was under no delusions about the possibility of any 
physical contact but there were other options...

The first time I jerked off looking at a photo of my three daughters 
together I was so nervous that I barely was able to aim when I came.  I 
did it!  The results were there... my sperm covering their faces in the 
photograph.  It was so bad... yet so erotic.  When was the last time I was 
able to stay hard so long after an orgasm? 

I almost didn’t do it but I found the courage to take the photograph I’d 
promised.  Sending it to Kelly  was a huge step though for me.  This 
wasn’t just me fantasizing behind a locked bathroom door.  I was actually 
sending a total stranger a photograph of my penis hovering over a photo of 
my three daughters with me fresh sperm covering their faces!  Was I being 
a fool?  Who was she really?  What if it all went bad and I was 
blackmailed?  For the next day I was almost delirious with anxiety after 
having sent the photos.

My relief upon reading her reply was overwhelming.  She said it turned her 
on and encouraged me to do more of them.  Frankly, I wasn’t sure why it 
did, but at the same time it made me feel incredibly horny knowing it.  I 
wanted to do more... a lot more.

Just as my porn addiction had steadily escalated, so did my new favorite 
hobby - making tributes to share with Kelly.  I started to write short 
stories about my feelings for my daughters which I sent along with my 
latest tribute.  Soon I graduated from using photos to sneaking into their 
rooms and using their underwear.  The feel of their soft panties around my 
dick was incredible but nothing compared to the thrill of knowing they had 
recently been pressed against their little pussies. It didn’t matter whose 
it was.  I found it was just as exciting to use my nine year-old Sarah’s 
cute cotton character panties as it was to coat the lacey pairs my 
fourteen year-old Elizabeth and sixteen year-old Rebecca preferred. If 
anything, I was a little surprised to find I actually enjoyed it more 
coming in my youngest daughter’s underwear, maybe because it was even more 
taboo to think about sex with her at her age.

The first time I shot a load into one of their panties I immediately 
washed them out of fear someone would notice.  It took a couple of weeks 
before I had the courage (or maybe I was just overly horny) to return them 
to their drawers soaked with daddy’s sperm.  I fretted for days waiting to 
be confronted yet nothing happened so I did it more often for all three of 
my beautiful young girls.

Then I was informed that if I really wanted to get personal that I should 
use their bras instead of panties.  Of course Sarah wasn’t wearing one yet 
but Elizabeth and Rebecca had some cute sets in their drawers. Cumming 
into the cups and seeing the pool of sperm soaking into the material where 
soon I knew their nipples would be pressing was incredible.

Over the next few weeks I would sneak into their rooms whenever I could to 
masturbate on their beds and be naked in their rooms while fantasizing 
they were naked on their beds begging daddy to have sex with them.  Oh my 
god, the amount of cum I spilled in those rooms - seemed like it must have 
been gallons!

Bad Mark was winning - it wasn’t even a contest anymore.

I wasn’t stupid.  Yet while I knew I had to be more circumspect around my 
teenagers my youngest was so much more innocent and naïve that the 
possibilities began to form in my head.  That night I stood in Sarah’s 
room at the opposite side of her bed and jerked off as I watched her sleep 
in the dim light.  When I came I just shot it out into the carpet which 
was probably not all that smart but I didn’t think anyone would notice - 
and nobody did.

Of course that wasn’t enough.  Each time after that I would get a little 
more courage, get a little closer, a little naughtier.  Finally I was 
right at her bedside with my hard dick in my hand masturbating as I 
imagined my cute little Sarah wakening, smiling to see her horny father, 
and then reaching out with her tiny hand to finish me.

The first time I sprayed Sarah with cum was another of those OMG moments.  
Oh sure it was on her pajamas but even so she was wearing them at them 
time and so it wasn’t like I when was using her panties in secret.  It 
took a week to get there, but finally I did it... I came on her hand, just 
as if she had jerked me off and my cum had spilled over it.  I couldn’t 
clean it completely off without waking her which scared me a little but I 
figured that at her age she wouldn’t have any idea what it was anyway.

Each time I got away with something I was more excited to do it again.  I 
was cumming on my daughter! Sure she had no idea but that didn’t matter.  
When the cum made it to Sarah’s neck and then finally to her face, it was 
one of the most erotic things I’d ever seen.  I wanted so badly for her 
wake and take me in her mouth.  A few times I even pressed the tip of my 
dick to her lips and rubbed it, hoping she would instinctively open her 
mouth and suck on it.  While that never happened, I was able to push it in 
just a little and leave behind some pre-cum in her mouth before covering 
her cheeks.

In between times I sometimes struggled. Good Mark would make an effort to 
appear but by now Bad Mark was running the show.  Never in my wildest 
dreams had I dared to think any of my daughters would actually ever suck 
my dick and let me cum in her mouth yet here I was doing almost exactly 
that!

Meanwhile I wasn’t ignoring my teenagers.  If anything, my late night 
trysts with their younger sister just made me all the more hornier than 
ever.  Still, I knew I could never get away with them what I was doing 
with Sarah.  Even if Sarah had woken she would have no idea what daddy was 
doing.  Not so with Elizabeth or Rebecca.  I was horny enough to want to 
do it - yes, but not that stupid.  I had to settle for my periodic nude 
visits to their room, masturbating on their bed surrounded by their 
underwear as I would dream of what it would be like to have them riding 
me.  My only fear was that sooner or later one of them would question the 
stains on their bras yet nothing happened which only served to embolden me 
all the more to start using other parts of their wardrobe - bikinis, 
dresses and such.

A month went by, then two.  It was the most amazing time of my life.  Yes, 
I wasn’t actually having sex with my daughters but seeing them walk around 
in the clothes I knew had my sperm soaked in them was so erotic I had a 
difficult time hiding the erection I couldn't even begin to control. I 
have always been a heavy masturbator but the amount of cum I’d spilled 
during this time was pretty incredible if I say so myself.

With time came confidence and with confidence came daring.  Bad Mark was 
in total control now and he was ready to take the next step.  No, I never 
once seriously considered actually having sex with my girls but that 
didn’t mean I couldn’t take more advantage of my situation with Sarah.  
While she was young and naïve at the moment, that wasn’t going to last 
forever so if anything was ever going to happen it would have to be now.

Of course she had no idea but it was my wife who actually provided me with 
the opportunity I’d been seeking.  During the cold weather she dressed 
Sarah in heavy flannel pajamas which were practically impenetrable at 
night while I was masturbating by her.  With warmer weather out came the 
night shirts.  Sure they came down to her knees and her mom made sure that 
she always wore panties, but from the moment I first saw her ready to go 
to bed I knew what I was going to do.

As it turned out Sarah helped out her daddy more than she could ever have 
known.  She was always tossing and turning in her sleep and as a result, 
that long night shirt would work its way up to her waist.  It only took a 
little bit of help to get to her panties.

Like before with her face and mouth, it was one step at a time.  The first 
time I came on her leg was thrilling.  Each night I would get a touch more 
daring until finally I was soaking her panties.  Sure I’d unloaded many 
times into those same ones but now she was wearing them!

It wasn’t enough.  I HAD to take the next step yet it took me almost a 
week to get the courage.  It started with me just pulling down her panties 
in back and cumming on her bottom.  Such a cute little butt!  Seeing my 
sperm dripping down on it was such an incredible sight.

Of course she had no idea what she was doing yet the night she was 
sleeping on her back I like to think she was doing it for me.  No matter 
the truth, I was so horny by now that it didn’t matter.  When I finally 
released myself and my cum landed on her tiny pussy, I was ecstatic. With 
her panties back in place it soaked through and showed but I knew by 
morning it would be dry and nobody the wiser - except me of course.

For most of the summer that was as far as I dared to go.  I wanted so bad 
to push my dick into her yet as horny as I was I just couldn't do it.  In 
a way I felt a little guilty in that I became so infatuated with Sarah’s 
pussy that I pretty much stopped my activities in her sisters’ rooms but 
then they weren’t showing me their pussies either.

Sooner or later I knew I would...


Chapter 4 - Consequences
========================
After having done all this for so many months I was getting a little cocky 
I guess.  It was like I was invincible.  Nobody had any idea what I was 
doing and why would they even suspect?  I think it was that more than 
anything that made it so easy for me.  Even if my older daughters did 
notice the stains in their bras, why would they think for even a moment 
that it was from their dad?  Elaine did all of Sarah’s laundry but what 
would ever make her think that the crusty panties and pajamas were due to 
her husband’s nocturnal activities?

I should have known better.  I have a lot of issues with my wife but one 
thing I’ve never accused her of was being stupid...

The day she confronted me with Sarah’s panties was one I will never forget 
as long as I live.  She told me she knew what I’d been doing and there was 
no denying it.  It’s not like I had a horny teenage son I could blame.  
There was only one male in the house after all.

I was terrified.  It was as if everything I ever imagined could never 
happen suddenly was staring me in the office.  How could I ever explain 
this to Elaine?  What about my daughters?  Was I going to lose my job?  
What would friends and family say when they found out? Was I going to 
jail?  

In the end it wasn’t good but definitely not worst case scenario.  I tried 
to explain to Elaine but she didn’t want to hear about it.  I guess it was 
bad enough what she imagined was happening without hearing the actual 
details.  She only asked me one question, did I molest Sarah?  She knew 
nothing like that would ever happen with Rebecca or Elizabeth.  In fact, 
she never even told them anything so she never learned what I’d done with 
their things.  Evidently even when confronted with the evidence of my 
perversion she still couldn't imagine just HOW perverted I’d become.

Of course it wasn’t all good news.  I was banished from the house for a 
month while she worked it out.  We told the girls it was between the two 
of us without going into details.  Other than that nothing was said to 
anyone - not the family, her friends or even the police.

The only reason I can figure for Elaine’s actions, or lack of them, is she 
was too embarrassed for herself to tell anyone.  It’s not like our 
marriage was much in the first place so not having sex with me at all 
wasn’t much different than only having it once every few months.  Also, by 
refusing to discuss it with me any more than necessary I never had to 
confess to her everything I’d done or the evidence that had existed that 
would have surely landed me in prison.  I destroyed everything the first 
chance I had in case she DID report me which turned out to be unnecessary.  
I have to admit that there are time now I wish I hadn’t!

So now this will be the last chapter I write.  I’m sure Elaine will never 
give me a second chance so I’ll just have to resort to what other men do 
and use porn for my fantasies.  Am I sorry for what I’ve done?  To be 
perfectly honest - NO, I’m only sorry that I was caught.  How far would I 
have gone if Elaine hadn’t caught me?  Hard to say for certain but in the 
end maybe it’s best she did catch me as what I WANTED to do would surely 
have landed me in jail.

My inner war will continue... I just hope Bad Mark can coexist with Good 
Mark.


Chapter 5 - Postlude by Kelly
=============================
I was shocked and even a bit frightened when I found out that Mark’s wife 
had found out what he’d been doing.  While I felt bad for him, I was more 
worried that she would find out who he’d been talking to and come after me 
- as if that would solve anything.  Still, a vindictive wife isn’t open to 
reason and the last thing I wanted to get involved in was a dispute in a 
family hundreds of miles from me over his sexual misconduct.

Months went by without hearing from mark and I never expected to hear from 
him again so I was surprised when he started writing me again.  From the 
things he told me he was doing now I have to wonder if he’s moved from 
reality to pure fantasy as I can’t imagine he’s actually doing the things 
he says he is to Sarah.  While a bit perverted and creepy, nothing he’d 
done before actually involved her, or least not that she was aware.  He 
never violated her in the sense that he penetrated her or fondled her - or 
at least not that he told me.  So now if he really WAS doing anything more 
than that now I really didn’t want to know about it or be involved in any 
way!  I think my disbelief became apparent and over time he faded away, 
apparently to find another foil for his tales.

What I learned from Mark’s case is how easy it is to get carried with 
someone and suddenly find yourself in a situation you wish you weren’t 
involved.  While I don’t feel guilty or any responsibility for anything 
he’d done, I WAS involved in the sense it turned him on to tell me about 
what he was doing so I suppose some people would want to put part of the 
blame on me.  Of course when he first contacted me I had no idea it would 
ever go beyond the typical “tribute” stage where he just came on their 
photos and personal things.

All I can say is I’ll be sticking to fantasy from now on when it comes to 
men and their underage daughters!  Frankly I have plenty of guys with 
wives they want to betray and grown-up daughters they crave without 
getting involved in another situation that has the potential to go where 
it shouldn’t.  

Heck, even as I write this I’ve got e-mails in my in-box with photos from 
a husband showing me nudes of his wife getting dressed that she has no 
idea he took, let alone that he shared them with me.  Another e-mail I 
received today is from a father who lusts for his 21 year-old daughter.  
While he never takes anything nude or even all that risqué of her, he 
enjoys showing me his true lust for her by using her underwear to 
masturbate and then send me photos of the results.  In both cases I have 
enough evidence to know they’re real yet we’re talking about adults 
dealing with adults.  I figure that whatever they’re doing they would be 
doing with or without me so as long as their wife/daughter never find out, 
what’s the harm?  They trust me to never post these or share them with 
anyone and I honor that trust.  Besides, what’s the benefit for me in 
posting photos without someone’s permission?  I get my thrill from the 
fact they want to share such things with me in the first place - not that 
I want to expose them or cause any harm.

That said, it’s a whole different story when the object of your lust is 
under eighteen so a final word from me to the fathers out there with 
underage daughters, nieces and friends... feeling lust for them is only 
natural so don’t beat yourself up because you masturbate about them.  
Fantasies are fine regardless of what they are so long as they STAY 
fantasies.  

It’s what you DO with them that counts. So if you’re feel the need to do 
anything more than masturbate about your underage daughter (or any young 
girl for that matter) then think twice about it and then think again.  Is 
it really worth it?  If you think so, then keep it to yourself!!!!  Don’t 
take pictures and especially don’t share anything with anyone on the 
Internet!  I always tell guys they’re lucky I’m not a cop as for all they 
really knew at the outset I very well could have been.  Take it from me as 
I’ve heard from a lot of guys over the years - the odds are about 99.9% 
that if you do someone will eventually find out and then your life as well 
as those of your entire family will be ruined.  It’s simply not worth it.

And by the way, IF you choose to ignore what I’ve said, please don’t 
involve me and PLEASE do not send me anything.  Even if I delete them 
immediately I’ve still received them from a legal perspective and I don’t 
want to get involved in anything like that.  For my own protection I will 
immediately inform the authorities if anyone sends me evidence of anything 
illegal.  So don’t say I didn’t warn you!

THE END
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