Subject: Sex as a Child and Then as a Father
Story Codes: mf MF Mf incest father daughter
Author: Bob <address withheld by request>
Posted By: Kelly <pghpa_girl@yahoo.com>
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!!!WARNING!!!!
This file contains sexually explicit material which may include graphic
depictions of underage, nonconsensual and unprotected sex as well as
incest, adultery, sodomy and bestiality. It is distributed on a website
clearly identified as "For Adults Only". Possession by a minor is
strictly forbidden. If you are not legally empowered to be in possession
of such material, do not read it and delete it immediately.
This work is copyrighted 2013 to the author. It may be posted to non-
commercial "free" sites, or in the "free" area of commercial sites so
long as no changes are made to the content and the Author information is
retained. Any other use of this work is by written permission of the
Author only.
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Foreword by Kelly
=================
I've been pretty harsh on people who write about young kids in supposedly
highly charged sexual situations. Well, here is someone willing to take
me to task on my views!
********************
Hi Kelly, While I don't visit your web page often, I do go there and
enjoy it. Thank you.
I read your comments about incest and children. I also read your pet
peeves. I will cover my thoughts on it in a moment, but first, I want to
tell you about me so that you know something. I'm presently 50 yo and
married. I have two wonderful girls, 21 and 9. While there has been
incest in my family's past, I know of none occurring presently, including
my own. That isn't to say that it hasn't been thought about or
fantasized about. It has. I am an engineer. Back when I was in my early
30's, I believed that everyone in my business thought like I did, i.e.
they understood "engineering stuff". I was in the early part of my
career and knew no limits as to my abilities. One day, the realization
hit me, that while one of my coworkers did not understand the things that
we worked on to the same level as me, she was BETTER at doing some things
than I was. Once that thought hit me, I realized that my "generalities"
about others was way off. I then started treating other with differently
and also realized my own deficiencies. We, as people, even with our own
experiences, can never assume that just because you feel, act, and think
in a particular way, that everyone else does. You have more or less
mentioned this in your "musings".
I bring this back to you because you have committed this act yourself -
you have assumed that a child, any child, has felt and thought of sex,
lust, and desires, just the way that you have. This is a gross error on
your part. I know this from personal experience. I do remember, as you
sort of rhetorically stated in your peeve section, my childhood and how I
felt about things, what I thought about, what my feelings and desires
were, my longings, and my lust. Sex and sexual pleasure is one of those
things that has been a major desire and subsequently, impact on actions
and memory for all of my life. I don't forget sexual things that I've
done. My very first sexual experience that I recall only involved me. I
remember the doing it and the feelings that it brought on - that was the
act of rubbing the head of my penis on the inside of my underwear. It
was extremely pleasurable, so I continued for self-pleasure to some level
and frequency for the rest of my life.
My first experience with someone else was with my older sister (this was
a one and only time that she and I did anything sexual). We were at our
grandparent's home. My sister told me that she knew how babies were made
and that it felt good. If I wanted to, I could put my penis into her
vagina while she was "sleeping". So, after a little bit, I did lift up
her nighty, lowered her panties, lowered mine, and attempted to get my
penis into her, without any success, mind you. I spent about 15 minutes
trying this, and also feeling the softness of her on me. It was very
pleasurable, but there was no lust involved. While this is not really
sexual in one sense, it does indicate the intensity of feelings that a
child has, even without the hormones that occur later in life. I
remember being with my mom and looking at her not only with the love of a
child for a parent, but also seeing her as a beautiful woman (she was
probably only 22 at the time). I remember comparing her to the other
mom's and KNEW she was prettier than most, but there were some that were
even prettier. I remember the feeling when I looked at her and
them....what now I know as desire to know them more intimately...not
really lust like after hormones, but just this side of it. I didn't
really understand it though. Also, I had been bathing with my sisters,
and loved looking at their vagina's when I got a chance, and their
bottoms, too. I remember "enjoying" seeing them in bathing suits, along
with the neighbor girls, or anything that showed their shape and skin. I
never once thought that girls were "yucky" and had a strong desire to at
least be around them to some level. Don't get me wrong, I was all boy.
I had more cuts and scraps than I care to remember. I played with the
other guys or by myself. But I still LOVED being with girls, too. They
were different and I loved looking at them and experiencing that
difference anyway I could. I loved the attention that I received from
them, both the girls and the moms, more so than my guy friends, but it
was a different feeling altogether.
My next experience involved one of the neighbor ladies. I was 5 by now.
There was no sex, or even any inclination towards sex on her part. I
remember looking at her and wanting to see what she looked like without
her clothes on. She had larger breasts than my mom, and she was quite
pretty with a very pleasant voice. She was the first woman that I really
wanted to see naked like I had seen my sisters. I had never seen any
adult naked, so I knew nothing of pubic hair, but it was pretty obvious
that woman had breasts and girls didn't. My next extremely strong
"sexual" desire occurred in first grade. I was in a Catholic school and
my teacher was a Nun. All you could see of her was her face and hands,
that was it. I was truly in-love with her. I know what that feels like.
I have always looked a person's face first, actually eyes, and then moved
outward. She had this beautiful face and eyes and this wonderful loving
disposition. I would watch her intently. I desired to be with her and
know her better. I did want to know what she looked like under her
Habit. She would have made a wonderful mom, I'm sure of it, and a friend
for a partner. Such a waste. Mother Superior, on the other hand, she
was in the correct calling.
My next experience came after my parents split up. My older sister
showed me some of dad's old Playboy's that were still hidden between the
mattress of my mom's bed. My sister was obviously a snoop. I was so
DRAWN to the images of the naked or nearly naked females, it consumed my
thoughts from that point forward to some level every day. I was 7. To
this day, I am a true lover of the female form. It is art to me. There
is good art, okay art, and bad art, but it is art. Interestingly enough,
it wasn't the size of the women's breasts in the mags that I loved, but
the shape! Back then, they were all natural. Most were what would be
called "pleasantly plump", i.e. nice soft lines on their bodies, but
shapely. I took all of the mags and hid them in my room. I would look at
them and get feelings all over my body (lustful, but not the strength of
later years after puberty... hormones don't make the desires, they only
increase them. This is one of your mistakes in your opinion). I would
play with myself the whole time I looked at the pictures... I WANTED to
touch the naked women and feel them touching me! This was actually the
first time that I was truly aware of wanting to BE TOUCHED by another.
Although my mom's hands felt nice when she washed me when I was younger,
it was not sexual.
After that, it became sexual for me, but she never knew. The mags were a
huge change in how I now looked at girls and women. I now had a good
idea of want a woman looked like under her clothes (still didn't know
about pubic hair as Playboy didn't show it then. I actually don't like a
lot of hair, anyway) and started to want to see all of the girls and
mom's naked. Every chance I got to look at those mags, I took. I was in
"heaven" until at around 8 and half, my mom found them and took them from
me. Oh well. It was very nice while it lasted. I still remember some
of the pictures to this day. From that point onward, I would make some
efforts every so often to seen the "hidden" places in girls and women. I
did get to see my mom naked one time as she ran from the hall bathroom to
her room and loving the way she looked. I had then started to fantasize
in a very limited fashion (only knew about masturbation and what my
sister had said) about being with her. I was 8 at the time. Puberty was
about 5 years away. I had shown my penis to the neighbor girl in a "you
show me yours I'll show you mine" kind of thing. I fell in-love again
with my fourth grade teacher, who just happened to look a lot like my
mom. I wanted to be touched! I wanted TO touch!
For all intents and purposes, I was fully sexual in my desires by 9 years
old, just didn't have the extra "kick" from hormones yet. I had moved to
another state at 10. Again, I fell in-love, but this time the sexual
desire was extremely high. It was my uncle's girlfriend. She was 19 or
20, I guess, extremely beautiful. She was also the first adult female
that I felt reciprocal attraction by. I doubt very much that it was
sexual on her part, but it was genuinely a personality attraction that we
both experience even to this day. (Later in life when we were both
single adults, she asked my mom, shortly after I had seen her again after
about 10 years of not seeing her, if I liked older women. The spark was
still very much there on both sides. Unfortunately, I have only briefly
seen her once since then). I remember WANTING to be close to her, and
when we were, it was amazing. If she had ever offered to touch my 10
year old body sexually, I would have let her. I didn't know how to make
love yet, but I would have loved to learn with her.
My buddies and I found a lot of explicit pictures near our homes one day.
We took them to one of their homes and hid them. We would pull them out
and have jerk off sessions, none of us at puberty yet, so they were dry
orgasms. We did involve some girls on several occasions by the time I
was 11, one of which was my next youngest sister. Lots of touchy feely
although she and I didn't touch that often during those sessions. Mostly
it was the other girls. At early 13, I hit puberty. By the summer, my
two youngest sisters and I were visiting my dad. I took my youngest
sister to his off-site garage and we got naked. I had learned a fair
amount about sex by now and knew about oral as well. I had her suck me
and I licked her. She was 8. She really enjoyed it as did I. It was
both of ours first oral experience. Nobody was forced. It was
consensual. She could get all of my head and part of the shaft into her
mouth, but I didn't orgasm. I did, however, lick her to the point of
what I now know as an orgasm for her. I loved the smooth softness of her
and the lack of hair (I knew about pubic hair by now from the pictures we
found and my own body). I did try to insert my penis into her vagina,
but alas, I didn't know about lube and she wasn't wet anymore.
Afterwards, I masturbated with her watching so that she could see me
orgasm....besides, I needed to after all of that. She found it so
exciting that when we went back to my dad's place, she had me show my
other sister, which I gladly did. Oh to be young like that again!
That was the last time that I ever did anything with my sisters. You
might think that from all of this that I shortly lost my "virginity," but
I did not. I didn't actually insert my penis into a woman's vagina until
I was 21. My point in all of this is that your assumption that children
are not sexual, nor do they have lustful feelings is incorrect. I do
remember very well. I can still recall the actual sensations that I
felt, my thoughts, my desires, and what held my interest. I know of
another child that, of their own accord, had a thing for rubbing up
against their daddy's penis, wanting to be there when he changed. They
were never shown, nor even talked to about sexual things, and yet this
girl not only liked to rub up against him, but would hold his now hard
penis up against her privates and push back. She was 1 and a half when
she started and went until she was 5. There was never any penetration.
It was just something that she did.
So, just because you never had any of those desires yourself (that you
were aware of, they probably were not that important) until puberty hit,
it doesn't mean that every other child was like you, because we aren't
and weren't. I hope that this gives you some insight about how we are
truly each different. While you have a wonderful relationship with your
parents, and it started later in life, I on the other hand, had desires
all of my life, but never really acted on them. And it is for the very
same reason you feel that children are not sexual....you have an innate
respect for them and others.
I guess the main reason that I didn't tell you about us so much was that
I wanted to focus on the fact that some children really ARE sexual, have
some level of lust, and not only don't mind being sexual with someone,
but actually crave it. But, as with all, not all children are like that,
and taking something that isn't given is abuse, regardless of age. To
answer your questions, yes, I did and do think about them sexually. My
oldest daughter, while she did do some masturbation as an infant and
toddler, she stopped shortly afterwards. She did catch me looking at a
porn movie once, but that was pretty much it. As she got older, I did
talk with her about sex to some extent, and told her she could come to me
if she had questions. She never really did, though. She wasn't
particularly sexual until puberty. She also isn't really the snuggly
type, except with her boyfriend. I do know that after puberty, she
started to become sexually active and had intercourse around 16. She has
been active ever since. I have been married 3 times, once to a friend,
once to woman who turned out to be very misleading and an alcoholic, and
finally, to my present wife that I had actually asked to marry me back
when I was 17.
My two girls are from different mothers. When I was married to my second
wife, we had my youngest daughter. My ex was very sexual and would give
me a BJ pretty much anywhere, including watching TV with my oldest
sitting in front of us on the floor watching TV. Never got caught. I
took to having my youngest sleep in bed with me because her mom was
passed out downstairs most nights from drinking. The mom would come up
most mornings and wake me with a BJ... very nice way to wake up, I might
add. We would have sex sometimes with me holding the baby in my arms or
her nursing. The baby started to sit up around 5 months old and if she
was awake, she would watch her mom going down on me. At 6 months old,
with my daughter sitting by my hip, she watched her mom sucking me. The
mom stopped and went into the other room. I was still hard and sticking
up. My little girl just bent over and took me into her mouth and sucked.
She did this for about 10 seconds and stopped. I was pretty shocked,
amazed, and well, loved it. I never waved myself in her face or did
anything to "get her to do it". I wasn't even looking at her when she
first took me in. For the next month, if she saw her mom doing this, and
if I was still hard and standing up, my daughter would wait until my ex
would leave the room and then suck me for a little bit. I never came in
her mouth nor did I ever set it up, but I also didn't stop her. She
stopped doing it after that. I know that she also masturbates nearly
every night since she was little.
My girls share a room and my oldest has told me that she does. My
youngest is very sexual, but aside from self-pleasure, doesn't do
anything else. This is partly due to my present wife, which is fine with
me. So, yes, I do look at my little girl and have fantasies. I look at
her girlfriends as well, but the only person I touch sexually is my wife.
By the way, my wife does know of my desires. I cannot keep secrets from
her. We don't fantasize together about "other stuff", just enjoy each
other to the fullest. Still, it would be extremely difficult for me to
say no if either my daughter or her friends decided to try and seduce me.
As an adult, my first real strong sexual fantasies about being with not
only a child, but incest were with my half-sister. She was 10 at the
time and there was just something about her. I later found out, after
talking with her as adults, that she had been sexual with a girlfriend
and her sister since she was 3 until 10. What stopped her was that my
half-brother said something about lesbianism being just gross. That hurt
her and made her feel guilty, so she stopped. I never did anything with
her, but I would fantasize about her and my step mom, who is only 13
years older than me, all doing things together. It just grew from there.
The fantasies, that is. On the subject of the dad and daughter I had
mentioned in the previous email, we had become good chat buddies, when I
was doing that. He had told me about his daughter and offered to show me
on a webcam what she was like. He set it up in his room at a prearranged
time. I could hear her speak, she was just 2 at the time, and ask him if
he was going to change. He answered yes. He never wears underwear, so
when he dropped his pants, he sat on the bed. She was in between his
legs even before he could get his foot out of the pant leg and rubbing
her face all over his penis and balls. He never did figure out why she
started to do this, it just happened.
I was amazed, and turned on, of course. So was he. She did this until
he finally told her that he needed to get dressed. Sometimes she would
rub her mouth over it, but she never took him in, nor did he ask her to.
On a later web cam, when they were getting into bed, she of course,
rubbed her face on him and got him hard. He was on his back naked and
she only had on her favorite soft shirt. I watched as she straddled his
hips, held his penis to her privates with her back towards him an lowered
herself down, putting a lot of weight on his penis. She would wiggle and
squirm, readjust, push, whatever. I guess she got a lot of pleasure from
the pressure. He let me be a part of it through the web cam until I had
stopped chatting just prior to getting married for the last time. I saw
them in the doggy position with her pushing back so hard with her little
hands holding onto the sheets for purchase to push back that I thought,
"If he only had a little lube, he would enter her." I saw squat over him
as he moved his cock back and forth, then she would squat down and put
pressure on it. When she was 3, he let me watch as he licked her to
orgasm, or at least it appeared that way. Her stomach rippled and her
toes were curling, which were on his shoulders. He told me that he did
use lube one time where he was sitting on his sofa and she had her back
to him. He was rubbing up and down between her buns and she pushed back.
His cock entered her anally. He was surprised, but pleased. He said it
felt incredible. He carefully pumped into her just the head and a small
amount of shaft for about 10 seconds. He was right on the verge of
cumming, but she pulled away.
They did that one more time, but again, she pulled away. He said that
about a few months after that, she really didn't like the feeling of the
lube and wouldn't do anything if there were lube, so they went back to
doing things dry. He loved his daughter and would never do anything to
hurt her, either physically or emotionally. We both talked about the
emotional side of what they were doing, and because it was something that
she strongly desired to do intimately with her dad, it would have been
more hurtful to her to stop, than to keep it status quo. If she stopped
that would be her choice. During all of that time, up until she was 6, he
never did enter her vaginally nor repeat the anal experience. I stopped
chatting at that time because I was getting married and didn't want the
chatting to interfere. I suspect that they probably did go the rest of
the way, or maybe it is just my fantasy. I haven't heard from him since.
So, there you have it. I'm not as exciting as some of the families that
you correspond with on a regular basis, but I have had my moments.
:)
Bob