Second That Emotion
by
Latikia
Copyright © 2006
Chapter 36
“You do realize that
every single member of those two sub-committees is now terrified of you?” Dr. Wills said from his seat in the front of
the SUV.
I smiled
absently. “I read somewhere that having people fear you is more useful than having them love
you. In my case there was never much
chance they’d love me, so I’ll just have to settle for fear. Perhaps, in time, the fear will become
respect.”
Mr. Jones
snorted. “I wouldn’t hold my breath.”
“I’m forced to agree
with Mr. Jones.” the Doctor said. “What
will most likely happen, in the immediate future, is that our budget will
become even more constricted, scrutiny of our operations will intensify and
they will do everything in their power to increase our isolation within the
Agency.”
“Hoping to make us
powerless and impotent?” I suggested.
“Exactly. You
have clearly proven to them in undeniable fashion that we are a power to be
reckoned with and they’ll want to demonstrate for all to see just who holds the
guard dog’s leash.”
“So before this we
were merely a local junk-yard dog, but now we’ve grown up and become a
pit-bull?”
“More like a bull
mastiff.” Mr. Jones replied.
“Quite
right. We stepped out of our little yard and into
the big wide world. They won’t like that
we did it, but having shown that we could and were capable of surviving, even
prospering, outside that yard they’ll start trying to use us as a tool…or
brandishing us as a weapon.”
“Lovely. Agencies that didn’t even know we existed
before will have us right at the top of their shit lists. Cooperation of
any kind is going to be tough to come by.” I groused.
“Welcome to the
world of politics.” Dr. Wills laughed.
“For the moment though, we don’t need much in the way of inter-service
cooperation. We can use little incidents
like the ‘Ivan’ bone we threw the FBI to our advantage. Little favors add up. That will be one area where you will be
invaluable my boy. While you learn the
ropes, make contacts within other departments and other organizations…within
the government itself. Build yourself a
network of people who will be willing to help you when the time comes. Focus on the lower levels, the junior
department heads, the second tier managers, the mid-level civil servants and
junior congressmen and senators. By the
time you take over for me, they will have moved up as well and taken over for
the men and women who will be actively opposing us for the foreseeable future. You have an invaluable gift that you can use
to your advantage…you can tell who can and can’t be trusted, who is playing the game for the game’s sake and who is actually trying to
accomplish something worthwhile.”
He sighed
deeply. “I tried to do that and have had
only minimal success. My talent is
nowhere near as strong and useful as yours.
I’ve been limited in what I could do and because of that I’ve had very
limited success. So, following the old
political adage, ‘If at first you don’t succeed, redefine success,’ I have
redefined my success by choosing you to follow me.”
“I’ll try not to let
you down.”
He laughed
warmly. “Ike, you won’t. It just isn’t in your nature.”
We made a detour to
Rockville, picked up Anya and the girls then made a beeline for CIA
headquarters where we were picked up on the rooftop and flown back home to the
ranch. Dr. Wills went back with the
helicopter, leaving Mr. Jones behind with us.
It had been a long
day for me, even though by the time we arrived home it was only three in the
afternoon. I had put off all questions
about our meeting, so I spent the first hour describing to the girls what had
happened. Izzy was shocked at finding
out Ricky’s father had been a congressman, had been our congressman. They all laughed
viciously when I described the senator and congressman’s final farewell to
political life.
After that we
scattered, Peggy and Lilly went out to check on the horses, Izzy disappeared
into the kitchen and Mr. Jones took Anya upstairs so she could lie down. Her head was still bothering her and she
needed to rest.
I went upstairs and
into our bedroom, removed my suit, hung it in the closet, and took a quick
shower, washing the makeup off my face, neck, shoulders and arms. The hair dye, I’d been told, would wash out
after a few days. Leaving the shower, I
filled up the hot tub and climbed in, letting the heat soak the aches and pains
from my tired body.
‘I’d like you to do something for me, lover.’
I looked up from the
table top, where I’d been examining the chess pieces. The king-sized piece with my face was in the
center of the round board, the three smaller figures of Izzy, Lilly and Peggy
were around it in a triangle formation, with Anya and Mr. Jones a little off to
one side and Dr. Wills and Colonel DeBerg on the opposite side. The blood red figures with no faces were
scattered out at the edges, no longer in ranks or formations.
She sat on the
opposite side of the table with a wraith-like bundle of vapors in her lap.
“What can I do for
you, honey?”
‘Keep a promise I made to someone. I can’t do it myself, but you can.’
“Alright. What
did you promise?”
‘When you see them, just say “Carlie wants
you to know she loves you, always and forever.”
You’ll know who I mean and you’ll know why when you meet.’
“I don’t
understand.”
‘You will, when the time comes. Come see us.
It’s time to say goodbye.’
“I’m not ready to
say goodbye to you Carlie. Not yet.”
‘It’s time, my love.’
I opened my eyes to
find Izzy sitting across from me in the tub.
I wiped the tears from my eyes and opened my arms. She stood up, waded thru the water and sat
down on my lap. I wrapped my arms around
her, one hand cupping a firm breast, the other flat against her belly and
hugged her to me.
“I have to go to
She nodded, her
right hand reaching up and resting over the hand that held her breast.
“We’ll go with you.”
was all she said.
I craned my neck and
kissed her cheek. “Okay. We’ll go tomorrow.”
We sat in the tub like
that until we were both wrinkled and then we got out and made love till it was
time for dinner.
I called Dr. Wills
that night and told him I was going to
Mr. Jones and Anya
said they’d come along too, but I told them to sit tight at the ranch and
relax. Anya needed to take it easy and
it was obvious that she and David were getting rather serious…if the noises
that came from Anya’s room at night were any indication.
“You aren’t in the
clear yet, you know. There could still
be some damn fool out there who might be willing to take a shot at you.” Jones
said at dinner that night.
I shrugged. “I think that’s probably going to be the case
as long as I’m working for the CIA.”
“At least take the
pistols with you.” he suggested.
“I will.”
The four of us were
waiting on the front steps when the helicopter arrived at eight the next
morning, climbed in and were whisked off to the headquarters rooftop. Dr. Wills met us and showed me from the
rooftop where my car was parked and suggested the best way to get to Dover,
bypassing D.C. proper and going around Alexandria.
I’d never been to
Izzy and Peggy were
in the back, Lilly sat up front with me.
After the second hour Izzy and Peggy had snuggled together and taken a
nap, leaving just the two of us awake.
“You’re awfully
quiet.” Lilly said.
“Sorry. I’ve got a lot on my mind.”
“Like?”
“I’ve had two rather
unsettling dreams recently and Carlie’s told me to come see her in both of
them. Yesterday she said I was supposed
to keep a promise for her that she’d made to someone.”
“Do you know what
the promise is?”
“No. That is one of the things that’s
been on my mind.”
“Hmmm…and who she
made the promise to would be another, right?”
“Give the lady a
cigar.” I said, smiling.
“Ike, do you think
the voices you hear are…I don’t know, your subconscious I guess is the psych
term, or could they be something else?”
“That is one of the other things that’s been bothering me.
I wish I knew. Lilly, there are
times when I’m not sure if I am sane.
How can you know?”
She sighed and put
her hand on my leg, giving my thigh a squeeze.
“When I was depressed all the time and wanted to kill myself, I knew
there was something wrong with me…I just didn’t know what to do about it. I don’t know if I was crazy or not, just
really unhappy. When you went home,
Peggy and I talked some. I asked her if
she believed the voices she heard were real people. Know what she told me?”
“I’d guess that she
thought they were real.”
“Yup. I
guess it all boils down to what real
is. I never went to college so I’m not
the smartest person around, but it seems to me that real is what each of us decides it is.”
I laughed
softly. “A good piece of the nineteenth
century was spent trying to figure that very question out. The so-called
Enlightenment. Some of them
agreed with you and some took a different view.
They said that nothing we perceived with our senses was real. Everyone sees a little differently, hears
differently and so on. The argument says
in essence that Reality is, and it’s
our perception of that Reality that’s malleable. If I go with that line of thought, then I’m
not crazy…the rest of you are just incapable of perceiving what I can.”
“Well, maybe that’s
it then.”
“Maybe.
Either way, I owe it to her memory to try and keep the promise, if I
can.”
We arrived in
I parked outside the main entrance and walked in to the ground’s keeper’s building, leaving the girls in the car. I asked the man if there was a family plot for the Van Lutens and he looked at me as if I were a lunatic.
“Mistah…the Van Lutens are one of the oldest families in Dovah. Hell, some say they founded the town. Old Man Van Luten owns pert near half the property. Their family plot would be in the original town cemetery.”
“The one on the south side, you mean?”
“Nope, that’d be the newest one; most of the folks buried there died aftah 1940. No, you want the old churchyard in the centah of town.”
I thanked the man and went back to the car and told the girls what I’d found out.
The sun was setting…or maybe it was trying to get the hell
out of
There was a relatively clean motel on the west side of town that had twin king-sized beds, so I signed us in and paid for the night. The clerk was more than a little curious to see one man check in with three women, and I was pretty sure we’d be the topic of some local gossip before the next day.
After pushing the beds together (the girls wanted to give the maid service a chuckle), we cleaned up and went out and had dinner at a nice little seafood shack. The dye was beginning to wash out and I probably looked like an aging sugar-daddy out with his pussy posse. Peggy really played it up, hanging all over me and calling me ‘Daddy’ in that little girl voice she liked to use.
We got back to the motel and into bed and were right in the middle of a group grope when I noticed that the TV was on and the President was making a speech.
I had a ‘Peggy’ moment of my very own and started laughing.
“Girls, I just had a wonderful idea for an experiment. Mr. Jones wanted to know if I could link with someone by video. Let’s see if I can give the Prez a woodie via the TV.”
“Cool!” Peggy cooed and grabbed my dick with both hands.
I looked down and then into her eyes, lifting an eyebrow.
“Motivation.” she said simply and grinned as she began to gently stroke my semi-hard shaft.
Izzy and Lilly each added a little erotic encouragement of their own while I concentrated on the image of our Commander in Chief. It was a lot easier said than done, as you can probably imagine.
Much to my surprise I did manage to form a link with the man. It was a struggle to create and a royal pain to maintain, but eventually I could feel his heart beating, his blood pumping, his emotions swirling around like blue water being flushed down a toilet bowl. I don’t know if it was the effect of being linked thru video or being tormented by the hands, lips and nude bodies of my sexy nymphs that made it seem less real than my usual connection, but this time there was a definite sense of distance and separation. I intensified my focus and concentration, thinking only about the feelings of hands, lips and tongues on my cock and balls, fingers stroking the insides of my thighs and teasing the tender skin of my belly. Then I forced all those sensations down the link and waited for a change in his heart rate.
Have you ever seen a truly dignified individual at the very
instant they commit a social gaff? Think
Margaret Dumont in any of her movies with the Marx Brothers. I saw the President of the
“Holy shit…I did it!” I said, awed for a moment, while the network went off and a ‘Technical Difficulties’ sign came on. I had linked with someone who was hundreds of miles away and been able to affect him. “Holy fuckin’ shit!”
“Okay, so you gave the President a woodie. Big deal. How ‘bout us?” Izzy asked and straddled my face.
Oh well…so much for my moment of godlike self-glorification. I love that about my girls…they keep me securely rooted in the here and now. They know what’s important and how to keep me from getting sidetracked by the bullshit.
Getting them off was definitely more important.
The next morning we checked out and went to a local restaurant for breakfast. Apparently the most interesting subject of conversation all over town was the President’s loss of control on national television.
I was beaming like a lighthouse when Izzy sidled up next to me and began loudly proclaiming with each forkful of food I put into my mouth, “Remember, thou art mortal…remember, thou art mortal…”
I almost choked to death on a lungful of scrambled eggs.
We finished breakfast and stepped out onto the sidewalk, buttoning up our jackets when I felt Izzy’s elbow dig into my side. She gestured across the street. I looked up and saw a small jewelry store just opening its doors. Never let it be said I can’t take a hint.
The two of us linked arms with Lilly and Peggy, crossed the street and went inside. The elderly man behind the counter smiled.
“What can I do for you folks this morning?”
I returned his smile and waved towards the girls. “The ladies would like to browse a bit, if you don’t mind.”
“Not at all, not at all. If there’s something you’d like to try on just let me know.” he said.
Izzy herded Lilly and Peggy towards the far end of the counter while I whispered in the man’s ear. His eyes got big and the look he gave me was one of mixed admiration and disbelief. I nodded my head, reached into my pocket for my wallet and handed him my credit card. He hurried off to call in the number and verify my account.
Waiting for him to return, I watched the girls ooh and ahh over various items in the display cases. Peggy seemed quite taken with a silver necklace and earring set, while Lilly was eying a string of black pearls. The three of them were crouched down and peering at the lower displays, nearly pressing their faces against the glass, like kids in a candy store.
The man returned and handed my card back, smiling to beat the band. He motioned me over to the case with the rings. I took a quick look, made a couple of mental computations and pointed to the ones I liked. He unlocked the case and removed the two sets I’d chosen and put them on the counter top.
“Lilly, Peggy…would you come over here, please?” I asked.
They stood up and hurried over, Izzy trailing behind, a knowing smile on her sweet lips.
I took Lilly’s left hand in mine, lifting it up and kissing her knuckles. She’d stopped wearing her wedding ring back in the hospital when her husband had told her he’d filed for divorce, but I could still see the lines in the skin of her finger where the rings had left their mark. Reaching out with my right hand I took the diamond engagement ring I’d picked for her off the counter and slipped it on her finger. It was a little too large, but that could be fixed. Then I picked up the second ring, a simple thin gold band and put it on. It was the same size as the diamond ring and just as loose.
I looked into her eyes and smiled. “With this ring, I thee wed.” I said from deep in my chest. Leaning down I kissed her stunned face. She threw her arms around my neck and hung on for dear life. I hugged her in return and rubbed her back and shoulders. When she let go and backed up I could see tears streaming down her cheeks and a brilliant, dazzling smile on her lips.
“I do.” she said sniffling.
I turned to Peggy who was bouncing up and down with barely contained excitement. I grinned and picked up the second set of rings and got down on one knee so I’d be closer to her height. She moved a step nearer and held out her left hand. I took her wrist in my hand and pressed the palm against my cheek then slid it across my lips and tickled her palm with the tip of my tongue. She giggled and blushed. I slipped the engagement ring, a pinkish egg shaped diamond, over her finger. It was just a little snug. Then I put the faceted gold band on over it.
“With this ring, I thee wed.” I rumbled. She squealed with delight and jumped on me, knocking us both to the floor and smothered me with kisses.
“Yes, yes, yes, YES!” she squeaked in between kisses.
I looked up helplessly at the man behind the counter. “Uhmm…they’ll need a little sizing. And I could use the name of a good chiropractor.”
The man grinned down at me. “Son, if you actually intend to marry three women, you’re going to need the name of a good mortician.”
He resized the rings for us while we waited and I had to endure being hugged and kissed in turns by all three of the girls.
By the time we left the store it was almost
Parking in front of the old church, the four of us walked into the church and asked to speak to the sexton. He gave us directions to the Van Luten family plot, but had an odd look on his face.
“Why do you want to visit the Van Luten plots?” he inquired cautiously.
“I’ve come to see where my wife is buried.” I said bluntly.
“You were Carline’s husband?”
“Yes. Feel free to tell Mrs. Van Luten that Ike Blacktower is in town.”
We left the church and made our way over the grounds to the cemetery, thru the rows of headstones and marble statuettes until we arrived at the Van Luten’s section.
Dozens of headstones, some with dates as far back as 1735, were lined up on the well kept grounds, gray stone pitted with age and weathered so much that they were almost unreadable.
Over beneath a bare branched elm tree was a bright shiny white marble statue of an angel. I left the girls and moved slowly towards the newest marker. There was a withered bouquet of flowers at the base of the statue near a large brass plate.
Carline Van Luten
1962-1987
Mother and Child Sleep With the Angels
I bowed my head slightly and squatted down on my heels.
“It’s a nice enough place I suppose…I wish I could have been here for you. I wish I could have done something to change this.”
‘Lover, none of this
was your fault. There was nothing you could
have done that would have changed a thing.’
“I know that in my mind, but my heart disagrees.”
‘Time
to let go of the pain, my darling boy. Remember our time together and
smile. That’s how I want to be
remembered, not with pain. Let it go.’
I picked up the withered flowers and untied the ribbon that bound them. The ground was cold and damp, but not frozen. I dug several small holes around the base of the statue and put a single flower stem into each hole and packed the cold wet dirt around them.
“Goodbye Carlie. I’ll always love you.” I whispered, put my palms flat on the ground and linked with the earth. I poured my love into the ground beneath me, a torrent, a waterfall of emotion that had no end…tears fell from my eyes, splashed across the backs of my hands and still the emotion flowed down the link into the ground. Steam began to rise from the grass as the ground below heated up.
I remembered the first time I met her, the way she held my arm possessively and pressed against me…the way she’d looked in the morning after our first night together…her laughter, sighs, whimpers and moans…the light in the evening when it made her hair shine like polished copper…the delight in her eyes when she told me we were going to have a baby…
Thru my tears I saw the dead flowers I’d planted around the base of the statue regain their color, the brown petals turned red and pink and yellow, the withered stems and leaves filled out, plump and full of chlorophyll.
“Ike?”
“I’m still here honey.” I said as I poured even more emotion into the steaming ground. I felt the ring of pain and agony I’d created begin to dissolve, the hard edged emotions were swept up in the flow of love and were washed down into the earth. I gasped loudly when the endlessly tormenting emotions I’d lived with for the past three years washed out and leaving me with nothing but pleasant memories.
I felt as if two hundred pounds had been lifted off my chest. The scent of springtime was all around me. I laughed, feeling the warm grass between my fingers and cut the link.
“Ike?”
I looked up with a relieved grin on my lips and looked into the face of my dead wife.