The day was hot and humid like any others in the South, where the air was
so infested with odors and sweat you actually had to swim through it. And
clothes, heck, it was minimal while it clung to you like a wet towel. It
was 101 degrees with a humidity of 100 per cent, or at least, that was what
it felt like. I was being boiled right on my seat in this supposedly air
conditioned hamburger joint that was called, "Bill's Burgers"--the sign was
vandalized and now said, "Bi Burger." I had been invited by my friend Duane
to visit his folks and see the South, which he promised would be "a whole
boot'n fun." So far, all there had been was a soak-fest, a slimy burger
that I thought moved, and supreme boredom. I asked myself, "Why am I here?"
I answered, "Waiting for Duane." "Okay, but why did I decide to come to
Texas in the first place?"

"Because Duane asked." "Okay, but why is Duane late?" "I don't know, maybe
he got hit by a Confederate soldier and got mowed down. Just shut up and
enjoy your burger." So I shut up and tried my best to enjoy the greasy
burger. When I say greasy, I mean, oil was dripping out of the
burger. Better yet, the grease looked like 10W/40 after 3000 miles. Finally
disgusted with the foul taste, I spate out the single bite I took out of
the most disgusting food that I had ever attempted to eat. Instead, I
gulped down the flat Coke. Here I was in a little itty-bitty town called
Helotes (or something like that, I know the hell part is right) in the
middle of nowhere, past trying to finish Bill's Burger, and horny as
hell. The latter was noted with distinction. I think it was the heat.

I looked outside. Duane was not there yet. For that matter, there was
nobody outside...just a two dogs biting each other's heads off and making a
racket. So I examined the insides of the modest resort called "Bill's
Burgers." It was red. I mean, CHERRY RED; it was decked out in the fifties
motif, with the jukebox and the checkered floor. If it got any more
sickening cliche, I was probably living in a cartoon. And judging by the
good taste of the populace, I was the only customer at 1:13PM. Precisely.

There was Bill, a frail looking chef with gray stubble and an unlit
cigarette hanging from the corner of his mouth. There was the sweet looking
Mrs. Bill Burgers, who had so kindly served me earlier the black plague,
and there was Dawn, their daughter. And she was looking mighty fine to me
at that moment, hungry as I was.

She was at most twenty-one and her body was a bountiful harvest. As a
southern adage usually interjected at any conversation regarding the weaker
sex, made up instantly by such a southern gentleman with that funny drawl,
"I'd reckon she's shapely like a gimp cow on moonshine." Whatever it meant,
I wanted to say that she was contoured like the Alps from head to toe; her
sunny hair was tied behind in a tail; she wore a sunny smile that said
everything in the world and her blue eyes, or as the accent goes,
"aaahhhs," were adorable. I wanted to eat her for breakfast, lunch, dinner,
and then some. Finally, I made up my mind.

I beckoned Dawn over and asked for some more Coke. As she was reaching for
my glass, I pulled her close and said. "Dear, I'm absolutely in love with
you, you gorgeous thing. How about a kiss?" I then patted her rump with a
teasing pinch. She blushed bright red, frozen for the moment, standing
there not sure of what to say or do. I was sure every sane guy passing this
young minx passed off a pass like the one I made to this absolutely yummy
Texas peach, but I was sure never by a woman. I sat there smiling my most
sincere smile, licking my lips in anticipation.

Now, I'm no dyke. But I do enjoy the company of beautiful woman. As well,
I've always wanted to say something like that in front of a total
stranger. And like I said, I was hornier than a toad in spring. (Whatever
that means.) The heat does that to you. Dawn closed her eyes and turned her
back with my cup and headed for the counter. She told her mother my order
and headed for the women's restroom. I smiled as I followed her into the
women's.

As I entered the dirty little back room, complete with the smell of Lysol
and crust on the ceiling, Dawn was leaning on the single white sink in the
room. She jumped when she saw me enter. Her eyes widened. But she remained
silent. I walked slowly up to her so as not to scare her off and put my
hands around her enviously slim waist. Drawing her close, I smelled the
fries she was making, but that scarcely discouraged my game. I had to pull
her up slightly, but I did manage to seal our lips with a soft, tender
kiss. Her first resistance melted away and was replaced a curious
anticipation. I was lost in Dawn's pair of sweet soft lips. They were so
juicy and tasty. I could have kissed her for hours! I wanted to eat her
whole, starting with those strawberry lips. But I had other plans in
mind. Dawn was lost in her own dream world as I said to her, "Dawn dear,
why don't you take a seat in that nice stall over here." She nodded dumbly
and sat. I closed the stall door. Though it was a tight fit, I could still
move around. "Now, Dawn,

I want you to close your eyes and relax. That's right, dear." My hands flew
over her body and ruffled through her frilly uniform, feeling her soft
curves. She was no Plainsman, rather, more a Rockies person. Her beautiful
underwear was what I was after. I stripped it off carefully and was
rewarded with a muffled gasp that she quickly silenced with a swallow. In a
couple minutes, I had her hiccuping with pleasure. I would like to believe
that we both left the bathroom wiser and more content. Actually, more like
she became a bit more wiser and I, a bit more content. But it amounted to
the same thing, did it not? I went back to my table and lit a Salem, and
puffed away like a whore after a trick. Wait. That is the other way around,
but you get the idea. Dawn came by and placed the Coke gently in front of
me. She had a grin and her bright eyes twinkled merrily. Dawn even gave me
a shy wink before she went back to frying her french fries. I snuffed out
my cigarette and enjoyed the euphoria of the significance of life, of
meeting new people and sharing with them what little I possessed. It is a
really good feeling to know that you may have done some good for another
person, and frankly, I had a blast. I looked back outside as a light blue
Chevy truck pulled up. Duane was here. He came in with a courteous nod to
the owners of Bill's Burgers and hurried over to me with an apologetic
face. "Sorry, Marie, but I ran into an old friend getting here. I mean, ran
into him. He wasn't too happy but he'll live." he said smiling weakly.

"No problem, let's go see your big ranch house!" I replied excitedly. Going
out the door, I heard Dawn call out, "Now y'all come back soon, Miss." I
turned and waved to her in the affirmative and returned her a coy
wink. Bill's Burgers may taste like shit, but Bill's daughter was the
sweetest Texas peach I've ever tasted. I turned to Duane and said, "I don't
know about their burgers." He chuckled as we got into his truck.

"...but I would definitely come back for a wedge of their scrumptious Texas
Peach Pie."