Inside Marissa's Head
They say "write what you know," so.....

5.11.2017 ~ Now that the storylines are fixed the words are coming easily.  I have next week's chapters written already which is great because I am graduating and leaving here. :-P  I have no idea what my writing will be like this summer.... I plan on finishing Erin's Life 2 in the next 2-3 weeks, but then I am moving and starting grad school in the fall in another state and everything is just up in the air.  But I will still be writing.... something.... and I really appreciate all the encouragement and Patreon donations over the last year.

Thanks so much..... and enjoy this weekend's cliffhanger.  Conclusion Monday, a chapter called "Mary and Erin."  

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4.30.2017 ~ Ok, back on track.  Here's a new chapter, and I took a few extra days on it because it is super long.  The next chapter is already written, and you aren't even going to believe it.  Then I am going to leave you on an incredibly mean cliffhanger over the weekend.

Enjoy! :)

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4.30.2017 ~ Ok, here's the deal... this is for the people who have been reading Erin's Life 2 chapter by chapter, and are all caught up.  If you are just starting the story or are not yet to chapter 26, then ignore this as it may contain spoilers.  Seriously, stop reading now unless you are all caught up.

Ok, now that it's just us... originally when I was writing this story I was going to hurt Erin, badly, again.  The "Erin's Mom" chapters of the compound was setting that up... I was showing a hell on Earth.  I was going to throw Erin into that situation, and break her.  But that was breaking my heart... I didn't want to hurt Erin any more, though I knew in my heart it was honest way to go.  It's what Erin whispered to me had happened to her.  But I was weak, at the last moment I made up that "Torchlight" thing and tried to make Erin a conqueror, taking over the compound with defiant dog fellatio, displays of a maniacal grin on a blood-spattered face, seducing Mother, etc.  And then I got to a point where I had no idea what to write, it was all just so dishonest.  I always know where to take the story when it feels right.

So I am backtracking a bit.  Now in the story Erin disappears into the compound... and we all know what happens to her there, in our minds we just remember what happened to Betty in that place.  I have removed three chapters and consolidated the "non Erin" parts of them into a chapter called "Smooshed Up."  It's where I smooshed up all the non-Erin bits.  So if you wish, you could reread that chapter, starting at "Smooshed up."  Chapters 30 and 31 had minor changes made which is why they have asterisks... reread those too, if you wish.  32 and 33 are unchanged, and I am putting up a brand new chapter tonight, as well.  If you're angry about the chapters I removed, and I know some of you are and will let me know about it, then in your mind pretend Erin had a dream about those things while hallucinating in the Room of Reflection, one last effort of her psyche to create a fantasy she could escape into.  I actually considered going that route.

Sorry about all of this confusion.  I just wrote myself into a corner and didn't know where to go with it.  Once I put Erin back on her original course, everything is now falling into place and the story is entering its end-game... everything is going to come together very soon.  Thanks for your patience.

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4.24.2017 ~ Ugh.... guess what?  I have decided I hate where the EL2 story has been going, regarding Erin in the Compound.  I have 95% decided to erase those last few chapters and take her a different route.  I will be fixing that for the next week, and sending her down a path that feels more honest than "International Prostitution Ring."  I don't know what I was thinking, there....

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3.29.2017 ~ Hi.... back from spring break, got some good thinking done, and here's the next chapter... two days ago not a word of this existed. :-P  I should be back to my regular schedule by next week.

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3.15.2017 ~ Hi.... there will be three chapters this week, instead of the usual two.  I just put the second one online.... and I hate it because it is so sad.  But next week I will be on spring break, and I won't be posting anything new.  I didn't want to end things on "dark and depressing" for over a week, so there will be another chapter on Friday which is much lighter.

See you when I get back, and as always, thanks for reading.

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3.6.2017 ~ I want to thank my dear friend E, who taught me all about horses while I was writing Chapter 22 of Erin's Life, Book 2.  She said I didn't need to give her any credit, "even though I helped you write half this chapter, but really it's no big deal."

Thank you E, you're truly my favorite person in the world! ;-)

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2.15.2017 ~ Holy crap, someone actually paid me to write them a story. :-P  There is a new section down there called "Commissions," with the story he asked for.  Kind of.  He asked for 5k words with a specific theme.... a woman with a younger boy... and by the time I got done it was 17.5k words.  I sort of have to learn to not give every character's back story until the beginning of the universe, I think. :-P  But I am very happy with the story, I like how sweet it ended up being.

So hey.... I guess I am accepting commissions now, as my time permits!

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1.30.2017 ~ Hi!  How are you?  I'm fine, thanks.  :-P  So I wanted to mention the chapter I just put online, Chapter 12 of Erin's Life, Book 2.  But read the chapter first!  I'll wait.

Ok!  Now that you're back....  isn't that crazy?  I honestly don't know how I managed to write a farm hand in west Texas, and tell his story.  I swear, I start a writing a chapter with a vague idea of what I need to say, and then I end up with something like the story of Jimmy and Sam.  I have no idea where this stuff comes from.  Either I watched a western movie at some point and just forgot about it, or I am psychically channeling dead cowboys.  I wrote the line, "...if you'll pardon the parlance," and I looked at it, and I said out loud, "What in the hell does 'parlance' mean???" And I looked it up.  And I'd used it correctly.  Crazy!

At any rate, I knew Mary would be coming back into the story eventually, but I didn't realize how much so until she started whispering to me last week.  I probably should have written this a few chapters ago to fit into the narrative better, but like I said.... I just realized I needed to write it a few days ago. :-P  I hope you enjoyed it, and there will be more Mary back story in the future... and trust me, it is building up into something amazing.  I know I will cry when writing it....

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1.5.2017 ~ Hi again!  Back at school now and getting settled for yet another semester.  Christmas break was crazy with a lot of unexpected things, so apologies for being a little slow with new chapters.  Hopefully though I will get into the new class routine and get more of Erin's story told. :)  Chapter 5 just went online.... and yes, I cried again while writing this one.  I hope you enjoy it.

Also I think I will start putting dates on the new chapter index entries.... that way my Patreon sponsors can see that I am producing content and they are getting their money's worth from Missy. ;)  Thanks to all of you, by the way!  The New Laptop Fund has its first pennies.

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12.15.2016 ~ Hi!  The semester is over and I am home, and I have a few minutes to remind myself that I used to be a writer. :-P  I actually have a few chapters of the next story ready to go, and I think I am ready to start posting them... but unlike in the past when I was writing 1-2 chapters a day, this time I am going to slow down on purpose to 1-2 chapters a week.  This way my readers don't get spoiled and flood my inbox when I miss a day. ;-)

Also, and I still feel a little uneasy about this, I am making a Patreon link.  The fact is I write these on a laptop that is like 8 years old and it bluescreens on me every day and it drives me insane.  So if you like my stories, give me money!  :-D  I swear it is for a new laptop, not on sexy lingerie.  Prolly.

I don't really know what I am doing with the setup of the account so let me know if something doesn't look right.

New chapter below.... Erin's Life, Book 2.

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9.21.2016 ~ So I was swimming laps this morning and suddenly Lindsey is whispering in my ear.  I hadn't heard from her since I finished "Secret Love," but there she was all the same, she wanted to let me know about something that happened before the story ended.  I couldn't shut her up until I wrote it down... so here it is, probably full of typos!

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9.05.2016 ~ Hi... back in school... kind of decided to take a little time away from my... well, "racy" stories, and concentrate on school... I was committing too much time and energy and it wasn't good for anyone involved.... but then a thing happened, and I just made another diary entry.

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Stories

7.26.2016 ~ I felt inspired to try something new today, while taking a bath... check out the "Dear Diary" entry, below. ;-)

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7.25.2016 ~ Secret Love is done... it hasn't really soaked in yet.  I am going to miss writing about Lindsey and Anna and Veronica....in a way, I love them.  I think I may need to get drunk, in the finest tradition of Ernest Hemingway. ;)  

I'm moving back to school in a few weeks, and I'd like to say that I'll be taking some time off from writing to recover from the last few chapters, but I think I know myself too well.... my head is already about to split with the next story trying to get out.  I'll do what I can. ;)

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7.24.2016 ~ Hi!  Secret Love is coming to an end.... I really enjoyed writing chapter 46.  It feels so good to see Veronica begin to claim the world for her own. :)  I didn't see the story going that way!  Anyway, I'm thinking... two more chapters.  Seems like it has been a long time since they were sneaking around with Christine in bed in the next room.

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6.21.2016 ~ I know how it ends!  I have finished outlining the last few chapters of "Secret Love," there were fewer than I thought.  Just letting you know! ;)

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6.17.2016 ~ Hi!  I'm back!  Had a good time, it was nice to relax and try new things. ;-)  I still don't have a solid Summer routine yet and haven't written anything until today.... but I now think I have a solid plan for the ending of "Secret Love," and I am itching to write.  So here's another chapter!

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6.1.2016 ~ Hi!  It's been a crazy couple weeks, school is out for the Summer and I am back home, and then even crazier things happened.... ugh!  Anyway, I am putting up another chapter of "Secret Love" today, but then I am going on vacay for 10 days, so I probably won't have anything else posted until I get back!  But I promise to sit by the pool in the sun in my little bikini and sip drinks with little umbrellas in them and think about what is going to happen next to Lindsey and Veronica and Anna... so I am refreshed and ready to continue writing when I get back.  See you soon!

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5.9.2016 ~ Hi everyone.... since I wrote the last pages of Erin's Life, I was surprised to find that not only did I actually feel wrung out emotionally, but the "voices in my head," so to speak, that constantly bug me to tell their stories, were remarkably quiet.  I have had some of these characters in my head for a long time before I realized they wanted me to tell their stories, and once I started doing so, a lot came out all at once.  But my characters...especially Little Erin, have given me some peace for the first time in a long time... so I took advantage of that period and got a lot of my real-world stuff caught up. :-)

But now Lindz and Vern have been talking to me again (and showing me some shockingly naughty things...), and Erin is growing up and learning more about life, and I think I may start up again in the near future.

So to those of you who've asked, I am fine, thank you, and as always, I appreciate the fact that my feedback for these stories has been overwhelmingly positive. :)

More coming soon!

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4.12.2016 ~ I found myself a little emotionally wrung out after finishing Erin's Life, and I decided I needed a few days off.  But I started writing Secret Love again, so here's a new chapter. :)

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4.9.2016 ~ I just posted the last chapter of Erin's Life.  Thank you for staying with her until the end, it was harder to get here than I ever thought it would be.

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4.5.2016 ~ Erin's Life, Chapter 33... no, I'm not happy either.  No one will ever know how difficult that was for me to write, but I wanted to be true to Erin, to be honest... she deserves that much, at least.

From here on out the tone of the story changes, we are approaching the end.  I hope you don't have to look away, but as hard as it may be to read, it is very hard on me to write.  Try to be with her to the end.

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3.28.2016 ~ Hi!  I have a weird schedule this week so I may not get two new chapters up every day... sorry!  But I will try to keep Erin's Life going while on break.  The end is in sight.... :-(

I should return to the regular updating next week, though.

Thanks for reading!

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3.25.2016 ~ Someone emailed me and said they loved Erin's story, but wondered when I would get around to the main conflict in Secret Love.  And I'd never thought about it, but I realized they were right.... there was no real conflict.

But I think that's how I wanted it.  I write a chapter of Secret when Erin is feeling too dark for me.  Everyone is so happy, there!

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3.13.2016 ~ I just wrote chapter 16 of Erin's Life and I made myself cry. :-(  I hope it isn't too much of a downer... things will get better, I promise.  I may need to change it.  It's too real. :-(

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3.12.2016 ~ I just wanted to thank everyone who has been writing to me, it is like the best part of my day when I see I have a bunch of messages from people saying they are enjoying my stories, or are worried about Erin!  Thank you so much!

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3.7.2016 ~ It seems like no matter how many times I proofread a chapter, and reread it, then put it online, I still find more typos and mistakes when I go back and reread it!  And then more when I reread it two days later!  Ugh!

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3.5.2016 ~ Hey I am about to post Chapter 6 of Erin's Life, and I am wondering, can anyone tell me if "blue balls" are real?  I hear guys saying they are but most of my friends think they just lie about it because they want to get off.... so is it true?  I assume it is so I put it in the story, but just curious. :-P  update: About 95% of the responses I got said they were real, they get all swollen and sore if the guy is worked up for a long time without relief, and they HURT.  So I guess I used "them" correctly in that chapter, hehe.  I hope you guys aren't all lying to me and you're not all secretly laughing at me. :-P

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Copyright 2016: "Marissa Banks." Rights reserved. Not for reuse without express written consent of the author. All content is purely fictional; any similarities to actual persons or events is pure coincidence. Reader must be of legal age in the judicial area he/she resides. Reproductions of the fiction contained herein or linked from here may not be used in whole or in part without express permission from the author.