It Is What It Is
By Danyealle
(MF/angst/fanfiction)
Chapter 13
Sliding into the warm, bubbling water with her he heard her sigh contentedly. She was partially awake but seemed free from the pain she had been in the night before. A very good thing.
Having her dunk herself, he grabbed the liquid goop she used on her hair then gently pulled her into his lap. Dumping some of the liquid into his hand he began to work it though her long locks. She sighed happily when he gently used his claws on her scalp the way he knew she liked it. After rinsing it he put that stuff in it that made her hair as soft as finely spun silk. While it ‘set’ he gently washed her with that nice smelling soap he liked so much. At some point while he was doing that she dozed back off.
While he gently bathed her he let his mind wander. The closeness to her and caring for her the way he was wasn’t something he was used to. Even with Rin, who he viewed as a daughter, he had never felt the need or showed the closeness he had with Kagome. Yes, part of it was it was his ‘duty’ as her mate to do so but it was more than that. He actually found he liked caring for her and doing things like bathing her. From the start of the affair she had done things like that for him, such as washing him and brushing out his hair, and seemed to enjoy it. Now he understood why. It seemed that doing such things created a special bond between them and made them feel closer. Until her the only beings that had touched him in that manner were servants that performed such duties as part of their job. But he had to admit that when Kagome did such things it felt so much better. It wasn’t that she did anything different it was because it was her and that she wanted to do it. Because there were feelings and closeness between them it made it different and felt better.
As he shifted her around a bit to wash her back he realized both the hanyou’s pack and Kouga must be a bit shocked by his behavior. All they had ever known from him was his cold, aloof behavior. To see him in the way they were now must seem out and out strange. Yes, they knew he had to maintain a certain closeness while she changed but the gentleness and the way he touched and held her went beyond that. As did the comment about not being able to stand to watch her suffer he made to the slayer. That was all odd and very out of character for him, both from his point of view and the view of the others. Somehow that didn’t bother him at all like it would have in the past.
When he got to her tail he shifted her around a bit more. Because it was covered with ‘hair’ he didn’t feel he should use her regular soap on it. Propping her against his chest he squirted some more of her hair soap into his hand then gently washed the new appendage with that. When done he rinsed it off then coated it with the other stuff as well. While he waited for the allotted ‘setting time’ he held her to his chest gently.
The closeness to her and holding her was something he was sure he wouldn’t give up when her changing ended. No, he probably wouldn’t do what he was now around most of those at the fortress but alone or with the pack it would be fine. It was something he enjoyed immensely and wasn’t about to give up to maintain an image of any kind. As he had learned from the very beginning Kagome was quite affectionate. That was something he had always adored and he didn’t want it to change. If he enjoyed it he knew she did as well. He wasn’t about to deny her the pleasure she gave him.
After rinsing off both her hair and tail he sat her beside him then bathed himself quickly. When he was done he pulled her back into his lap. Holding her to his chest gently, he relaxed in the bubbling water and shut his eyes, relaxing. While doing that his mind once more began to wander. This time it wasn’t Kagome that his thoughts centered on but the hanyou and his rag tag pack. Sine the miko had popped into his half-brothers life and freed him from the tree he had paid more attention to the whelp and what he was doing for various reasons. Though he wouldn’t admit it to anyone he had been impressed with how much the hanyou had matured and grown since then. Finally the boy had developed a sense of honor and responsibility. His pack and how he treated and protected them was testament to that. The boys’ reaction to he and Kagome’s mating was proof of that as well. Yes, he had been hurt by it, the look on his face and in his eyes when he found out told of that, but the maturity and concern for her he showed after that was a far cry from what he would have done in the past. Then he did what was needed to ensure she was well cared for. Honestly, he had been impressed. Perhaps the time had come for him to re-evaluate his feelings and thoughts about the half-breed. No, they would probably never be close but maybe a less hostile relationship was in order.
Then there were the rest of the members of the hanyou’s pack… First there was the monk. Yes, he was a letch and a bit of a con man but he did have strong spiritual powers and knew what he was doing. He was also honorable and dependable. Yes, the wind tunnel was his primary weapon but his sutras and other holy powers were nothing to laugh at. Most assuredly he was a formidable force. Plus there was his compassion and understanding. He was comforting and knew how to deal with emotional situations. He was a huge asset.
Then there was the fox kit. Yes, like Rin, Shippo was a child. But unlike Rin he was youkai and had powers humans didn’t. No, he wasn’t full grown and his powers developed but he could do enough that he was helpful when needed. Plus he was most helpful around camp. Then there was the fact that unlike most full-blooded youkai he had respect for humans. That came from Kagome being his surrogate mother. So much of what was ‘good’ about her had been imparted to the kit. Most assuredly he would be a great leader when he became an adult.
Lastly there was Sango. Of all the pack she surprised him almost as much as Inuyasha had. Her occupation was a demon slayer. Unlike most of those in that occupation she understood that not all youkai were bad and had no honor. Prime example of that was Kirara, the neko youkai that was with her. Also there was the way she treated Shippo, Kouga and others that were close to her. She had also always treated himself respectfully since there had been a less antagonistic relationship with Inuyasha.
He was even more impressed with her since his mating with the miko. More than anyone else she had been helpful and was most certainly the one in the pack he would turn to if he needed help with Kagome. Not only that but she had a knowledge of what was needed for both him and the little priestess, including some things he, himself, hadn’t thought of. She was quick to help and was able to think on her feet. Plus she had seemed to fully accept him without a prejudice most in her line of work would have. Then there was her knowledge of youkai. No, she wasn’t always accurate about higher level youkai but her knowledge, he was sure, was enough to have helped and reassured the rest of the pack about their mating and Kagome’s change. It was also nice to have someone like her around who knew what was needed so he didn’t have to explain so much or have to ask for things. That wasn’t in his nature or something he normally was at ease doing so it made things much easier on him. Unlike most of his kind he had always harbored a grudging respect for slayers, knowing full well most of them weren’t fools and were highly trained. But she also was rare in other ways, such as her acceptance of some demons and her willingness to judge them on their merits not their physiology much the way Kagome did. For that she had earned his respect.
Pulling himself out of his musings, he exited the water. After drying and dressing her he slipped into his own clothes. Then he put everything back into her pack and shouldered it. Scooping her into his arms he dropped her pack in his chambers then went into the main chamber and settled down on his mat with her curled up in his lap.
ç===================================================è
Tossing more wood on the fire, Kouga nodded to the demon lord as he sat down with Kagome. After stirring up the fire he seated himself over against the wall with Ginta and Hakkaku then talked and joked around a bit with Sango and Miroku like they usually did when the two packs connected. After a while Sango announced she was going to take a bath. As usual the ookami promised to keep an eye on a certain hentai monk. As was the routine, Miroku schooled his features into a mask of placid innocence and professed that he would do no such thing as peek at the slayer while she bathed. All part of the routine of course. But Kouga’s presence would be enough to make sure the slayer was left alone to bathe in peace.
While she was gone Kouga glanced over at the sleeping miko and the taiyoukai who appeared to be resting his with his eyes shut. After watching the couple for a few minutes he shifted around and stared into the fire.
Yes, he would admit that he was a bit heartbroken that she had taken someone else as a mate. Though he had always hoped she would become his and fall in love with him he was well aware that her heart belonged to Inuyasha. From their first meeting he hadn’t liked the way the hanyou had treated her. When he had laid claim to her and she made the ‘when he’s not being a jerk’ comment about Inuyasha the hanyou hadn’t been in his good books when it came to her and how she was treated. After that he had made a conscious effort to keep an eye on the way things went between the two. What he saw only seemed to strengthen his first impression of their relationship.
If the hanyou’s normal behavior wasn’t enough to piss Kouga off there was the dead miko, Kikyo. Quite honestly, that whole situation infuriated him to no end. You didn’t have to know the little priestess well to tell how upset Kagome was when the undead bitch was around Inuyasha. At some point he was sure that everyone in the pack had tried to explain to Inuyasha how much Kagome was hurt and upset by his relationship with Kikyo. Though it had partially sunk in it didn’t dully so not much changed in that area.
As time when on he was realistic in the thinking that chances of being with her were slim to none but he hoped the affection and gentleness he showed her would prove to her that there were plenty of males out there that wouldn’t treat her the way Inuyasha did. Glancing over at the couple he grinned internally. It appeared that maybe it had worked to some extent.
Like most youkai in some position of power he knew what the Western Lord was like and about his reputation. Yes, when one thought of Sesshomaru the first two words that came to mind were deadly and vicious. But there were other things as well to balance those out. He had a well defined sense of honor and was very protective of those that fell under his care. Yes, one of the things that was commonly known about him was his cold, stoic demeanor. From times they had met up in the past that was there but from he had seen so far it wasn’t there with Kagome. He also observed in the past that youkai who had human mates, as a rule, showed gentleness with them while they changed but what the demon lord was showing went well beyond that. It was very obvious that he cared a great deal for Kagome.
Over his life time he had seen many ningen/youkai matings. From his own perspective he thought that because of the closeness they shared during the time the ningen changed a bond developed that took much more time or never happened between youkai partners. When it came to youkai in power or the aristocracy unfortunately so many matings were done for various ‘political reasons’ and a bond never truly formed between the partners in that way that it did between the other kinds of matings. Once again, from his short observances of the couple, he felt the miko was damned lucky! It was obvious the taiyoukai cared for her a great deal, something she deserved. Knowing her the way he did he knew she would never consent to mating with anyone if she had no feelings for them so there was something between them before the mating.
Honestly, part of him did feel for Inuyasha. The hurt look in the hanyou’s eyes every time he looked at the couple did cause a twinge of sympathy but, being brutally honest, Inuyasha had no one to blame for it but himself. He had more chances with Kagome than 99% of males ever got and he was the one that screwed it up. Hell, he knew many men that would have given their left nut to have been in the hanyou’s position and have a woman that cared that much for them, himself included.
He was finally stirred out of his thoughts when Kagome woke slightly and asked for something to drink. While Sango mixed her up something he went and retrieved a big glass of the concoction he had made up. Having seen a changing before he knew what the human needed so he put together a drink from an old recipe he knew. Crouching down by the couple he gave the demon lord the glass.
Nodding at the ookami, he handed her the glass and watched as she quickly downed the contents. When she was finished he told her quietly, “Kouga’s here Kagome.”
Looking up, she saw her friend and smiled, “Hey Kouga!”
“Hey there Kagome. Congratulations!” He told her with a big grin.
“Thanks.” She replied, resting her head on Sesshomaru’s broad chest.
Looking closer at her, his gazed locked on those beautiful eyes of her. He had always adored those big chocolate colored doe eyes but now they had changed. They were still the same color of brown they always had been but now they had golden flecks in them that caught the light and seemed to make them twinkle and shimmer. “You’re eyes are beautiful!” He told her softly, unable to pull his gaze away from them.
Putting a crooked finger under her chin, Sesshomaru tilted her head up and gazed down into him. He seconded the ookami’s observance because, indeed, they were absolutely beautiful. The change in them only seemed to enhance their beauty, not really change it much. “Indeed, Kouga is right. They are absolutely stunning!” He told her quietly.
“Thanks.” She said, blushing.