Kryptonite

By Danyealle

(fanfiction/MF/HC/Abuse)

Chapter 5

After they left, Sesshomaru sent a couple of his men to follow the pack to ensure they were headed off lands controlled by him.  Once that was seen to he went to go check on the miko.  He knew, though she wouldn’t have seen any of it, she probably heard a portion of it and let it through the mark.

When he stepped into the room he saw her on the bed.  Sitting there, her arms wrapped around her bent legs and face buried in her knees, she was rocking back and forth.  He could clearly smell her tears.  Putting both his swords and armor on the small table by the door, he then walked over and sat by her on the bed.  Gently, he put an arm around her and pulled her close.  Stroking her hair softly, he soothed, “It’s all over Kagome.”

All she could do was nod, she was afraid to say anything because she was sure she would burst into tears if she did.  Though she could hear voices from outside while it was going on she hadn’t been able to hear what was said but when the fight had started she had known because he had been able to sense Inuyasha’s pain through the bond.  Earlier in the day she had already made up her mind that she wanted nothing more to do with Inuyasha but that didn’t mean that a switch had flipped and her feelings for him vanished into thin air.  They weren’t gone.

Being honest with herself, she would admit that she still loved him but that feeling didn’t mean she would go back to him because she wouldn’t.  No, she didn’t want anything to do with him but that didn’t mean she wanted anything to happen to him either.  To feel him being hurt and not stepping in to do anything to stop it seemed very wrong to her and bothered her immensely.

Because he had seen this type of thing before with mates, Sesshomaru understood what was going on and empathized with her.  It also gave him a tool to give her a measure of comfort.  “Calm down Kagome.  Yes, the half-breed is hurt but he’ll fully recover and in a few days time will once more be back to his normal, annoying self.”

Sighing, she nodded, still not trusting herself to say anything just yet.

Gently, he picked her up and sat her in his lap, holding her close.  He understood that she had to be in a great deal of emotional pain at the present and was in need of some measure of comfort.  “You’re monk and slayer are with him and will ensure he’s kept safe.  Also, while he’s on my lands no one or nothing will attack him.  He’s safe and in no mortal danger.”

Sighing, she nodded, finally beginning to relax a bit.  “Thanks Sesshomaru.”  She told him quietly.

“You’re welcome.”  He told her.  He could sense how disturbed her aura was and how much stress was entwining through it.  First thing that came to his mind was that she needed to sleep for a while so she could relax and put some distance between her and what had happened.  Extracting himself from her, he sent one of the maids to get something from the healer for it.

Once she had ingested the drink the maid had returned with, she curled back up into his lap and leaned against his chest.  “Can you stay with me until I fall asleep?” She asked him in a quiet voice.

Holding her, he stroked her head softly.  “Of course.  I’ll stay as long as you need me.”  He told her.

“Thanks.”  She said again then was quiet, leaning against him with her eyes shut, thinking.  When she spoke again several minutes later, she asked a question.  “Did Sango and Miroku find out why I’m with you?”

“Yes, the slayer figured it out from what I said.  No, I didn’t give an exact reason but she is versed enough in youkai society and the way things are done that she was able to deduce what had happened.  But even if I had said something you have nothing to be ashamed of Kagome.  Inuyasha, not you, responsible for what he’s done.  It’s him that should be ashamed, not you.”  He told her firmly. 

But there was something he wasn’t telling her.  No, he didn’t know for sure but he was fairly certain from the look he saw in the slayers eyes that he figured both she and the monk would be back at the fortress within a few days.  Both of them had enough of a sense of right and wrong that he was certain there was no way they would remain with the boy knowing what he had done.  As he had told the slayer, he would be more than happy to have them join up with him.

“I know.”   She told him quietly.  What it came down to is she didn’t want to answer the inevitable question from them as to why she didn’t ask them for help.  She doubted they would understand her reasons for not doing so.  Though he had never out and out threatened anyone the sense she got was that if she talked anyone she talked to would pay dearly for it.  The way she saw it was she didn’t want anyone else to pay for what was essentially her problem to deal with.  Nor would she be able to forgive herself if one of her friends got hurt because of her.  It had been her cross to bear and no one else could help her carry the weight.

Worst of all though was that she felt so helpless!  She had been helpless to make it stop and helpless to get herself out of the situation.  She had always been so strong willed and would never have thought that she could have gotten herself into that situation.  But she had.  She had been fooled by someone she had trusted completely and would have never thought would do such a thing to her.  Even worse, in her mind anyway, was the fact that to remove herself from that horrible situation she had to put her trust in the half-brother of the being who did it in the first place.  A being who, as she well knew, could be just as, if not more so, violent than the being who did it in the first place.  Yes, she knew that Sesshomaru had honor and a self control that Inuyasha never possessed but most of her ability to trust the way she used to was gone.  After all, she had trusted Inuyasha completely and look what happened to her. 

Yes, to an extent, she did trust Sesshomaru but now she had doubts about her ability to judge other beings.  She had totally trusted Inuyasha and had been very wrong about him.  So now she was wary of everyone and questioned everything.  Now the thought she had was what if Sesshomaru did the same thing.  After all, he wasn’t exactly known for being non-violent.  Add to that it was well known that he hated humans and she most certainly was of that species.  What would that lead to in the future?  She could very well be dropping herself into a situation that was even worse than the one she got out of.

The whole thing was so confusing.  She kept waffling from serious anxiety and being scared.  In fact, she felt that she could burst into tears at any time with no real provocation, she was that stressed.  And the worst of it was she didn’t know how to put an end to it.  Even if Sesshomaru reassured her now she wasn’t sure if she would believe him or not.  That bothered her just as much, if not more, than the rest of it.  But more than that, there was a seed of hate at Inuyasha for being the catalyst for the whole mess.

~~~~~@~~~~~

Sensing all the things twisting in her aura, the taiyoukai tried to reassure her once more.  “Relax Kagome.  You’re safe here.  No one or nothing will ever harm you like that again.  “I give you my word of honor on that topic.”

“I know, it’s just…”  She trailed off softly, shutting her eyes.

“I understand perfectly.”  He told her.  Knowing that it would take more than that, he held her a bit closer, trying to make her feel more secure and protected.  He didn’t intend to leave her until she was once more asleep.

Within a half an hours time, she was out cold.  Though he had things to attend to, he decided to stay with her.  Part of it was to comfort her, yes, but there was another reason as well.  Because Inuyasha was close, he would be able to sense things more clearly through their bond.  There was no way he wanted the half-breed to know just how she was affected by what he had done.  His aura, if he was close to her, was powerful enough to block all of that.  That he intended to do.  He wasn’t going to give the boy the satisfaction of knowing Kagome was suffering right along with him.

Joining that thought was another one: finding a way to completely block the bond, not disguising it with his aura.  Through the years he had heard such a thing was possible and that a few beings had accomplished it but, because it wasn’t something he couldn’t use, he hadn’t paid attention to it at the time.  But now that he could find it useful at least he knew it was possible and didn’t expect that it would be all that hard to find out how to go about it.  Later on he would get a couple of his people on researching it.  Hopefully that would be able to bring her some measure of comfort.

Shifting around carefully, so he didn’t wake her, he leaned against the headboard of the bed.  Once he got into a position he favored he relaxed a bit.  Carefully, he moved her around until she was lying curled up on his crossed legs.  Gently, he headed one of her pillows under her head then covered her up with a blanket.  When he assured himself she was comfortable he allowed himself to relax.

With a soft sigh, he shut his eyes.  There was much he had to do and work out before he could once again resume the hunt for the spider hanyou, all of it having to do with Kagome in one way or another.  Some of it had to do with societal business and things at the fortress but mostly it had to deal with her and how she was going to deal with all that hand wand would be happening.  But he also wanted to deal with some of the emotional impact of what had happened and it’s after effects, or at least start to do so.

Thinking about that last topic he gave a mental frown.  It was a topic he already wasn’t liking because he was already observing side effects of it that angered him.

For quite some time the two of them had a good relationship, hence the reason he considered her a friend.  But it was quite obvious now that she had lost some of her trusting nature to the debacle.  He was also pretty sure a small part of it was gone forever with no possible way of bringing it back.  It was something he was going to have to do some serious work on.  Not only did he deserve her trust and respect but he needed it.  With a quiet sigh, he resigned himself to the task of re-earning her trust, cursing the half-breed once more because of it.

As he thought about it, he came to the conclusion that he had a great deal of work to do to repair the damage that had been done.  Some things wouldn’t take long but others could realistically take years.  But there was a caveat to that; those were just the things he knew about.  He was sure there were plenty of problems that had yet to poke their heads up.  Some may well be revealed fairly quickly but it may well be years before others would become known.  

Giving another sigh, he decided taking it as it would come would be the best way to handle things.  No sense in buying into trouble without knowing the full cost of it.  He would put measures in place to deal with what he knew about, the rest he would deal with as it came.

After making sure she was soundly sleeping, he decided a nap for himself was in order as well.

~~~~~@~~~~~

As night fell, Sango and Miroku decided it was time to make camp.  All of them were dead tired after the events of the lat 24 hours.  Because the taiyoukai had given them 48 hours to get the hanyou off his lands they had no fear of attacks.

Sango scouted ahead and found a good place for them.  Quickly, her and Miroku set up camp then found their supper.  When the fish were cooking on the crackling campfire, the still very hurt hanyou desperately tried to get comfortable.  Snarling and irritable, all Inuyasha seemed to be interested in was feeling sorry for himself.  Of course royally pissed off factored into there as well.  He was so involved in himself that he didn’t see the angry looks he was getting or the fact that the two ningens hadn’t even tried to talk to him for over an hour.

It wasn’t until he was done eating the fish and trying to relax that he noticed the looks and the silence.  With a dramatic sigh he tucked his hands in his sleeves then glared at the two of them.  “What?”  He asked simply, looking back and forth between the two.

“When you feel up to it we need to have a serious talk Inuyasha.”  Miroku said quietly, eyes locked on the hanyou.

“Keh…”  Inuyasha snorted, rolling his eyes.  “I suppose this had to do with all that shit Sesshomaru spewed, doesn’t it?”

“Yes, it does.”  Sango told him in a cold, quiet voice.

Sighing, the hanyou slouched down a bit, shoulders slumped and his ears lowered.  “Go on, let’s get this over and done with and clear the air.”  He growled, not looking at either of them.

“Have you been hitting Kagome or abusing her in any way?”  Sango asked baldly.

Now the inu-hanyou was in a true pickle.  As much as he wanted to deny it, and probably would to anyone else, he was acutely aware that both of them knew his fuckhead brother well enough to know beyond a shadow of a doubt he wouldn’t make something like this up.  Also, that there was no real way to bluff his way through this one.  Both of them knew him far too well for him to try and bullshit them or minimize what he had done.  His only option, at least the way he saw it anyway, was to answer their questions as simply as he possibly could and not to give details or elaborate to try to wiggle out of trouble.  Heaving a sigh, he looked down at the ground and answered with a simple, quiet, “Yes.”

That one simple, three-letter word was met with dead silence.  Without looking up he could feel both sets of eyes locked on him plus the heat of their rising anger buffeted against him.  Biting his tongue, eh struggled to keep his big trap shut so he didn’t make it any worse than it already was.

“Inuyasha…”  Miroku started then stopped, glaring at the being he considered his best friend, not sure what to say.

Sango, however, didn’t have that problem.  Face flushed red, she began to scream at him.  “How dare you do something like that to her!  I thought you were a better being than that but you are just proving every bad thing people say about hanyous!  What were you thinking?  She loves you and has for so long yet you decide to beat her? You’re disgusting!” 

“I agree with everything Sango just said.”  Miroku added quietly.

Though he desperately wanted to explain or defend himself, Inuyasha didn’t open his mouth.  He knew beyond a shadow of a doubt no matter what he said it would just make matters worse.

“Why Inuyasha?  Why would you do something like that to her?”  Miroku asked quietly.

Sighing again, Inuyasha shrugged.  “I don’t know.  My temper…”  He started but was cut off.

Your temper is no excuse!”  Miroku shot back, voice hard.

“I never intended to hurt her.”  The hanyou told him quietly.

“From what Sesshomaru said this wasn’t a one-time thing. Is that true? “ Sango asked through clenched teeth.

“It’s happened more than once.”  He admitted grudgingly, silently cursing the taiyoukai.

“I believe he said for quite some time.”  The slayer ground out, eyes flashing dangerously.

All Inuyasha did was nod, not saying anything nor would he look at either of them.

Sighing, Miroku rubbed his face and couldn’t bring himself to look at the hanyou.  “How could you do that to her?  You profess to love her but you hurt her?  What’s wrong with you?”

Once more Inuyasha said nothing nor did he look at either of them, just sitting there and staring into the fire.

“You are nothing more than a coward and a bully!  Pathetic!”  Sango said, totally disgusted.

That was something that got his full attention. “I am not!”  He snarled, looking at her.

“What would you call it then?  You went after someone that had no real chance of defending herself or had even less of a chance of being able to win.  You bulled and beat on her.  Then you made sure that no one found out.  Probably because you’re afraid of just what our reaction would be.  Sounds like every bully and coward I’ve ever met over my life.”  She told him in a disgusted tone.

Snarling, eyes flashing dangerously, he glared at her.  “Do not call me names like that!”  He bit out through clenched teeth.

“Why?  They’re true.”  She shot right back, meeting his glare with her own.  “If you think you can do to me what you did to Kagome you had better think again Inuyasha!  You don’t scare or intimidate me.  And you even try to pull a stunt like that with me I’ll take your head off.”  She told him in a hard, even tone.  “But you know better than that, don’t you?  Cowards like you don’t pick on someone who can fight back or are an equal match for them.” 

Once more he growled at her and was about to comment but he was cut off.

“You will treat Sango with respect Inuyasha!”  Miroku told him in a cold voice.  “She is allowed to voice her opinion on the topic.  If you want to argue the point, argue it but don’t do any kind of threatening, be it verbal or through your body language.

“From my perspective I think she’s right.  Those are the kinds of things done by those class of people.”  Folding his arms over his chest,, the normally placid houshi had a hard, angry look on his face.  “Let me guess:  none of this started until you got Kagome to take the beads off? “ 

When the hanyou looked away and didn’t answer, the monk sighed deeply and shook his head.

That was all Sango could take.  She had made a decision.  “Alright, that’s enough for me.  I’ll travel back to Edo with you to make sure you’re safe only because you’re badly hurt.  After that I’ll be leaving the group.”  She told him firmly.

“What?!?”  Inuyasha shouted, head jerking up, then he stared at her wide-eyed.  “You’re going to abandon me over this?”  He asked, voice rising in volume and pitch.

“Yes.”  She replied simply.  “If you’ll abuse one woman who’s to say you won’t do it to me as well?  Especially since the whipping post for your temper is gone.  Sorry, I’m not going to take that chance.”  She ended, shaking her head.

Inuyasha opened his mouth to argue the point but was cut off by Miroku.

“If Sango leaves, so do I.”  The houshi stated evenly.

In 24 hours, he had lost his mate now he was losing his pack as well.  Once more he was going to be alone in the world.  Though he wanted to argue and try to convince them to stay but he kept his mouth shut.  Edo was quite a ways away so he would let it go for the night and let everyone cool down.  Tomorrow he would start to work on convincing them to stay.  He needed time to clear his head and think before he cold be effective in convincing them to stay.

Knowing he had to put some distance between himself and the two he found a tree at the edge of camp and jumped, albeit painfully, into it then settled down.  But he knew rest wasn’t going to come easily, if at all.  So much had happened that turned his world upside down that he didn’t even know where to start to sort it out.

It would be easy to blame both Sango and Kagome for the whole mess but ultimately he had brought it all on himself.  Though what Sango had said angered him he could see her point of view.  Yes, he was a bully and a coward who picked out the one member of the group that really had no way to defend herself nor would she do anything that would hurt him.  Though it wasn’t a conscious thing, deep down he knew it was true because he was well aware someone like Sango would have given it back as good as she got.

Thinking over what the slayer had said, he really couldn’t blame her.  He had a history of hitting women so why should she think she wouldn’t be next if she was the only woman in the group?  If he were her he would probably feel the same way.

Rather than dwell on that topic, he shifted gears and once more focused on Kagome to see if he could come up with a way to get his little miko back.  No, it more than likely wasn’t going to be easy but from his perspective there had to be a way to do it.  It would probably just take him time to think up something was all.