Kryptonite

By Danyealle

(fanfiction/MF/HC/Abuse)

Chapter 10

Not long after moving to his bed Kagome was sound asleep, snoring softly.  Holding her, Sesshomaru had his eyes shut but he wasn’t asleep or even close to it.  Instead he was replaying, over and over, the conversation they had.  Frankly, some of the points she had brought up were valid and were things he hadn’t thought about before.  Then again, some things she said bothered him a great deal too.

Until it had all come out he hadn’t really realized just how much had been piled on her in such a short period of time.  Apparently, she couldn’t do what he did with things and compartmentalize them and not worry about what is far down the line in the future.  She was trying to deal with all of it now and plan it all out rather than wait and see how things play out in the future.  Yes, to an extent, he could understand that, she was trying to get a handle on everything because it felt so out of control but he was concerned that she was going to make herself crazy over it.

With an internal sigh he realized that there was so much more to this than to just decide to take her as a mate.  Normally all those he knew would know what was coming and what to expect.  They would also have plenty of experience in other areas.  Kagome had been dropped into the whole thing cold with very little knowledge that upper society youkai would have had since they were children.  Not to mention the even that led to her being put into this position.  If that wasn’t enough there was the jewel and Naraku hunt.  If she wasn’t careful she would end up a stressed out, mental case very quickly.

With another internal sigh, he switched tracks a bit and decided to try to figure out how to deal with it and make things easier for her.  After all, that was part of his ‘job’ as his future mate.  Mates were partners and they helped each other.  Nor was much of what he would need to do all that complicated or time consuming.  It was just small things here and there, easy to work with.

The easiest of that was going to be court.  The way she was being taught by others is the way it was and always had been that it couldn’t be changed.  That was wrong.  For those teaching her that was the case but, for Kagome, it wasn’t.  Kagome didn’t realize how much power she wielded at court.  Her word was law and if she didn’t like something she could change it.  It didn’t matter how long it had been that way, if she wanted it changed then it was changed.  The only being that could override her was him and that wasn’t going to be something he was going to do.  Court didn’t interest him in the least and he was content to let her have free reign to do what she wanted.  Her personality and common sense were enough to assure him that she wouldn’t do anything foolish or that would embarrass him.  In fact, knowing her the way he did, things would probably change for the better and make things fairer for all.  Smirking, he thought that a lot of the so-called ‘old guard’ at court were going to have fits when the little priestess realized just how much power she had to wield.

Feeling her stir around in her sleep a bit, he looked down to see if it was caused by a dream of some kind that was disturbing her or if it was just ordinary stirring around.  Shifting around, she curled up between his legs and rested her head on one of his thighs.  Pulling on the blanket, he made sure she was covered up then put a hand on her head and gently ran his claws though her hair, waiting to see if she was going to wake.  When he was sure that she wasn’t going to do more than just shift around, he relaxed again and once more let his thoughts wander.

The next topic that came to mine was the hanyou.  Immediately he fought the urge to growl.  Even thinking about the half-breed was enough to make his temper start to spike but he kept in under control.  It wouldn’t do to let your temper get the better of you when you had to do some serious thinking.  That wouldn’t help anything.

Focusing once more, he thought about the fears she had expressed earlier.  Though some may have sounded unrealistic or irrational he didn’t think they were.  In fact, he thought the direct opposite.  He was well aware how tenacious the boy could be when he got his fangs into something.  And he was sure that Kagome was going to be even worse than normal.  She was his property, his mate and he would get her back was what he was sure the mentality was.  He was also fairly certain that the boy had convinced himself he would change and would have vowed to never to do it again.  Problem was the whelp didn’t have what it took the fortitude and willpower, to enforce and back up any kind of change like that. To change and fix something was hard word and that just wasn’t something Inuyasha usually did.  Though he was sure the whelp had already convinced himself he had started that and things would be OK once he got her back but the taiyoukai knew better.  That knowledge led him to the conclusion that Kagome’s fears were justified.

Despite what people might think, he was well aware how skilled and strong the boy was.  He was more than a match for the whelp in those areas but what he didn’t have was eyes in the back of his head.  As he knew with Rin he couldn’t be with her 24/7, he and her both needed time away from each other for things like bathing and making water.  He could be close to her but she would be alone and vulnerable.  Best he felt he could do was plan for everything he could think of and put every protection in place he could.  Beyond that they would both just have to be alert and pay attention. With the ookami as well as the monk and slayer around it would be better but it was going to have to be mostly about being vigilant.  He was also going to have to make sure that, once his new pack was at full strength, there were watches set up.  Also, he would have to talk to the hentai houshi about setting up perimeters each night when they made camp that would keep out anything with youkai blood.  That alone should keep the whelp out.

He was well aware that once he and the other two groups hooked up things were going to be far different than they had been for him in the past.  Once they met at the slayer’s village he would be the leader of a pack far different than he was used to.  There were going to be a myriad of different of different personalities and natures to deal with.  And it was probably going to take a bit to get used to.  But, despite that, his focus was going to have to be on Kagome and her safety.  As he was well aware all those joining him were strong fighters in their own right and they only had Naraku and his minions to worry about.  Kagome, on the other hand, had to worry about not only the spider but the whelp as well.  It was her that would need his protection most.  Yes, she was a good fighter but he doubted that she would be capable of hurting Inuyasha, even if her life depended on it because of her sensitive nature.

Besides, when he took her from the boy he took on the responsibility of her protection and he planned to ensure that particular duty was fulfilled to the best of his ability.  But he would also do it because he did care about her as a friend.

Glancing down at her, he ran the back of one finger gently down her cheek.  His future mate… thought he reason for taking her as such wasn’t ‘ideal’ he was pleased with what the outcome would be.  But, from some of what she had talked about earlier, he had a great deal of work to do before their mating took place.  Most of it would have been put to rest by a normal courtship but he would work with what he had.

But when the words ‘normal courtship’ flitted across his mind an idea began to form.  Just because this was an ‘arranged’ mating didn’t mean he couldn’t spend the time they had before it took place courting her like any ‘normal’ couple did.  In that area he would have a bit of an advantage, they knew each other so he had at least an idea of her likes and dislikes, giving him a bit to work with.  Plus, he had staff that worked with her close enough that they could give him clues about things he didn’t know about.  He could easily use that.  Hell, it didn’t matter where he got the information from, he would use it.  Once he had enough info he would begin showering her with gifts and ensure they did things together that she liked.  He also wanted to be sure she knew he was doing it because he wanted to, not because it was required of him.

Along with that he was going to do everything he could to ensure they had at least a couple hours a day alone together.  During those times he was going to make sure they got to know each other better.  That meant he was going to have to start opening himself up a bit and letting her in.  She was going to be with him for a lifetime so he was going to have to let her in at some point.  Might as well start now.

Most of those thins would be easy enough while they were at the fortress but he wasn’t sure about when they were traveling.  Yes, he was sure that time alone could be easily arranged but everything else would be harder.  In fact he wasn’t sure how he was going to work with it.  That question was just going to have to wait until they were actually moving and he could see what he was working with.  Once he had that he would then go from there.

Quite frankly, he was pleased with himself.  This, from what he could see, was a good plan and would work well for both of them.  She would get to know him and he, in turn, would get to know her.  Something they both really did need because being mates was different from being friends.  Friends are beings you spent time with then went your separate ways.  Mates you were together much of the time.  You could go to separate rooms or spend time apart but you were still together to an extent. 

While thinking about that something else slipped into his consciousness on quiet feet, something that bothered him: her comment about sex, not liking it and that it hurt.  Brow furrowed slightly, he contemplated that and didn’t like it

He was ready to admit that if he had a mate he wanted to indulge in one of its benefits: sex.  But he wasn’t going to force her into something that she didn’t want to do.  If she said no to sex he would respect that.  Nor would he humiliate her by taking a mistress just to satisfy his base desires.  Even now, when he had no mate or prospect-before Kagome that is, he had no mistress.  Yes, he would occasionally indulge in a romp with a willing bitch but that was all.  Once he made the commitment there would be no more of that.  He would expect her to be faithful to him so he, in turn, would show her the same respect.  He wouldn’t be a hypocrite and demand that of her then allow himself to not hold to the same standard.  That would not be happening.  What was good for the goose was good for the gander after all.  But that brought up the question of how was he going to deal with what she had said.

Once more he focused on what she had said, sure that it held the key.  Then he began to sort through it.  As he well knew the little priestess had been a virgin before mating with the hanyou.  It had been fairly obvious from not only her scent and aura but from the way she had acted as well.  From what he knew of the whelp he wasn’t gentle about anything he did so it was easy to deduce that, more than likely, he wasn’t gentle in the area of sexual relations either.  Add to that the miko’s small stature and it may well not be a pleasant experience for her.

But there was something else as well… From unfortunate past experience in the area, as an observer to the debacle after the fact, he was quite aware that sexual sadism often went hand in hand with domestic violence.  And from what he knew of Inuyasha he wouldn’t put that past the boy.  His violent nature alone would lean him that way but add in his temper and lack of self-control and what you had would make that whole scenario very plausible.

But that led to an even bigger question:  how was he going to deal with this?  First, he really needed to find out if it was a physical problem or if it was just because of Inuyasha.  What came to mind first was getting his healer to take a look at Kagome and see what she could figure out.  Problem was going to be talking her into that one.  Hopefully, considering how intelligent she was, it wouldn’t take too much convincing to get that to happen.  If it was physical he would see what his healer could do. However, if it was beyond her skill then he would talk to Kagome about seeing a healer from ‘her time’.  From what she had said in the past it sounded as though medicine in her time was far more advanced so, perhaps, they could do something.  If she wasn’t willing to see his healer maybe he could talk her into seeing the old miko in Edo she was so attached to.  She trusted her so that may well work.

That was about all he could do with that topic until he found out if it was physical or not.  So he switched his thoughts to the other end of the spectrum:  what if it wasn’t physical in origin? In many ways he was sure that if it wasn’t physical it would be harder to deal with.  That would mean that much of what he would have to do to fix things would be more physiological in nature.  In so many cases, as he knew all too well, could be harder to deal with than physical could be.  If that was the case he realized he had a long, hard road ahead of him.  It was probably going to take a long time for her to even allow him to touch her in any way that could be deemed sexual.  Even when she did relax to his touch beyond that everything was going to have to be taken very slowly.  This wasn’t like a virgin with their fear of the unknown but someone who had experienced it adversely and had a very specific fear.  Those were harder to deal with.

Blowing out a deep breath, he looked down at the little onna curled up to him.  It was then he realized just how much thought and planning he was putting into the topic of sex, far more than he had at any other point in his life and wondered why.  Part of it, he knew, was he wanted an heir.  He had admitted that much to her.  Also, there was the fact that sex came part and parcel with mating.  But was there more to it than that?  Yes, there was he concluded.  But what?

The first thing that came to mind was closeness.  Though he really didn’t crave that with any other being if he was to have a mate he wanted it with them.  Sex created a bond and a closeness you couldn’t get any other way.  If he was going to have a partner then he wanted the closeness that came with it.

But was that all?  Or was there more than that?  Looking down at the sleeping onna he realized, on some level, that he did desire the little ningen onna.  He would be the first to admit she was beautiful.  Thick wavy hair, big expressive eyes, flawless complexion, toned and tanned body, not to mention those beautiful long legs of hers made it all into one very sexy package.  She was desirable enough that she had caught the eye of most of the single men at the fortress as well as more than a few of the mated ones.  He had the added bonus to have touched and felt her next to him in a way the others hadn’t. So yes, he did desire her and wanted to bed her.  It wasn’t an all consuming, fiery passion but it was there.

Sighing, he decided that was enough of that for the night.  It was time to rest.  He could pick it up in the morning and work from there.

Deciding he wanted to lie down rather than sleep sitting up, he gently moved her to the bed beside him then stretched out and pulled her to his chest.  Draping an arm around her, he held her lose and rested his cheek on top of her head then shut his eyes.

~~~~~@~~~~~

Several hours alter Kagome woke from a dram to find herself pressed to Sesshomaru’s bare chest.  Eyes open, she laid there listening to his deep breathing and regular heartbeat, feeling safe and comfortable.  She had never lain like this with Inuyasha nor had he ever felt this comfortable to her when she was close to him.  Shutting her eyes she nuzzled his chest with her cheek and slipped an arm around him.  Giving him a light squeeze she sighed softly and let herself start to drift back to sleep.

Sesshomaru had woken when he felt her stir but hadn't opened his eyes.  He had wanted to see if she was going to get up before he let her know he was awake or not.  When he felt her slide her arm around him and give him a hug he felt his skin prickle in a good way and his heartbeat quicken just slightly.  It had felt wonderful.  Tightening his hold on her, he gave her a gentle squeeze then let himself drift away as well.