Kryptonite

By Danyealle

(fanfiction/MF/HC/Abuse)

Chapter 29

Not far from the fortress in a small cove of trees Inuyasha was perched in the tallest one he could find, sitting as far up it as he could get.  Leaning back against the trunk he ate what he had been able to swipe from the nearby village while he kept an eye on the fortress.

Honestly, he was highly agitated.  The last few days he had been lurking around as close to the fortress as he could get.  He had even gone over the wall a couple times but hadn’t stayed long, that would have been tempting the fates too much.  His intent had been to try to figure out where Kagome was but all the guards were on such a high level of alert that he hadn’t stuck around.  Because of the sutras the monk had posted he hadn’t tried that again.

Because of his skulking around he had caught up with all that was going on, from the traitors working with Naraku to Kagura.  The traitors bit had given him a good laugh.  Lord Perfect hadn’t known what was going on and it was just another example that the fucker wasn’t as good as people said he was at things.  Kagome should be seeing that by now and starting to question all the bullshit he was feeding her.  That was a good thing.

But all that wasn’t what had him on edge.  Last night something big must have happened because out of the blue their mating bond had weakened considerably.  No, he wasn’t getting any kind of input from it because she had found a way to block it but he could still feel the bond.  But last night, out of the blue, it was as though something had knocked a good chunk out of it and it suddenly weakened quite a bit.  That wasn’t good and he knew it.  Supposedly, from everything he’d heard in the past, it was suppose to take a year minimum to weaken the bond enough to break it.  But if it had weakened as much as it had in just this short period of time it wasn’t going to take nearly that long to weaken it enough to break it totally.  That wasn’t good and he knew it.  He was also fairly certain that Lord High Asshole would figure it out and take full advantage of it.  That, as he well knew, was a very bad thing.

When he finished eating he leaned fully back against the tree trunk and gave a melancholy sigh.  Kagome was a topic anymore that raised mixed emotions in him.  On one hand, he could understand why she was making no effort to try to come back to him or get away from Sesshomaru as well as the fear he sensed in her when he once more popped into her life here and there to remind her he was still around.  Yes, there was a high level of guilt involved in that.  He had hurt her badly, very badly, in many ways.  Most times he didn’t know why he did it and just blamed it on his temper.  Other times, like when they had sex, he was fully in control and still hurt her or did things that caused her pain knowing full well she didn’t like what he was doing but went ahead and did it anyway.  He never could understand why he did that.  Alright, he would admit that he liked her scent and the look on her face when she was scared or hurt and he found it extremely arousing but that didn’t mean he had to do things to her to cause that nor should he.  In fact, because of how he felt for her and the way she felt for him, he shouldn’t do anything that scared and hurt her but he couldn’t seem to help it, it was too exciting for him to stop.  It was a similar problem with the hitting.  He knew he shouldn’t do it and that hurting her like that was wrong.  Also, he knew there were steps he should take to make sure he didn’t do it but he hated them and couldn’t seem to force himself to put them in place.  All in all he did feel like shit and was sorry for what he ad done.  There was no way he could apologize enough to her for all he had done. 

But, on the other hand, at times part of him hated her and was pissed as hell about all he was going through because of the silly bitch!  It was because the stupid wench had opened that big damn mouth of hers to Lord Pain-In-The-Ass that he was being tortured like this and he out and out hated her for it!  Nor, as far as he could tell, had she done anything to get away from the fucker.  She was his mate after all and would be forever.  She belonged with him and by his side not with his bastard brother. 

Another thing was some of what he had seen while they were traveling.  They would snuggle up together he would hold her or cuddle on her; mushy shit like that.  Then there was that kiss he had seen them share.  All of those things were enough to make his blood boil.  The way he saw it the fucking bitch was cheating on him. With his fucking brother no less.  That was just plain wrong.  It also made him begin to wonder if there hadn’t been something going on between the two long before he took her.  After all they had been buddy-buddy for a long time now, long before they had been mates.  If she was doing this shit now who’s to say that they weren’t doing it back then as well?  He sure as hell wouldn’t put it past Sesshomaru to pull that shit.  The fucker took sadistic joy in tweaking him in all kinds of ways.  Now, from what he was seeing from the stupid bitch, she was capable of it as well.  He had always trusted her implicitly, now that was gone and he hated her for it.  Honestly, once this whole damn nightmare was over and she was back where she belonged he wasn’t sure he could ever trust her again the way he used to.  He doubled that he would ever be able to shake the images of her and the fucker together as long as he lived.

Sighing, he shut his eyes and rubbed them.  Realistically he knew he had to knock that crap off.  It wasn’t going to do him any good to doubt things and dwell on the past.  Instead he had to focus on the present and the future.  He also needed to work on his self control so the problems that were the root of this whole nightmare.  But, that in it’s self, was a problem.

OK, he would be the first to admit that he had ‘issues’ with his self control.  He would do fine for a while then all of a sudden it was gone and he couldn’t control it any more.  That was especially true when it came to his temper.  After a certain point he couldn’t control shit.  He was afraid that when he was able to finally get to talk to her all the crap would come back to him and he would once more end up snapping then do something that wouldn’t help the situation.  At this point he was already having problems when it came to her, waffling from wanting to throw himself at her feet then apologize and beg for her forgiveness and beating the holy living shit out of her for putting him through all of this.  That wasn’t good and he knew it.

But there was a bright spot to this whole fucking mess; Kagome herself.  As he well knew she was a very sweet, kind, loving, forgiving person who had put up with all kinds of crap from him over the years yet had always forgiven him and stuck by his side.  He was counting on that this time as well.  He was fairly certain that if he apologized and showed that he really, truly wanted to change she would once more forgive him then be back by his side.

He was also counting on her seeing one other thing; that there wasn’t a being out there that could protect and defend her like he could.  Hell, Sesshomaru, from his reputation and past exploits, was suppose to be the best there was.  Yet, since she had been traveling with the asshole, he had proven time and again that the taiyoukai couldn’t hold a candle to him in that department.  Time and again he had been able to get to her no matter what the asshole did to protect her.  Oh yes, that did his wounded ego a world of good!

Blowing out a deep breath, he decided it was time to get his ducks beak to tail and start to make some serious plans about how he was going to do things before they went from bad to worse.  Then he had to work out how to get his miko back and prove to her he could be trusted not to hurt her again.  Nothing easy.  But he had to do it.

…ks…ks…ks…ks…

Once they were done with their foray in the hot springs, Kagome spent the morning playing catch-up on some of her duties and mingling among court members with Sango and Kagura in tow.  After making the rounds the trio plus her friends at court sequestered themselves in one of the parlors so she could catch up on the latest gossip and what was going on.  That’s when she was filled in on the Kouga, Kuni, Anikia ménage trios. Rather than just go by idle gossip and try to wade through that she grabbed the two onnas to get it fresh from the source.  As it turned out what she had heard was true: there was something going on between the trio.  Kouga, as she well knew, was quite the ladies man and had taken a liking to both the young youkais.  Because he was the leader of the wolf demon tribe he was considered a ‘good catch’ by most families.  Anikia was now allowed to choose her own mate and had set her sights on the ookami who had treated her so well.  Both Kuni and her parents had done the same thing.  Rather than try to compete for his affection, something that was going to end up with someone losing out and hurt feelings, the two friends from childhood decided that if the wolf demon was agreeable that they had no problems with sharing him as a mate.  Of course, as anyone who knew Kouga would expect, he was most agreeable to the plan.  All that they were waiting for was the standard six month courtship to end for the matings to take place. 

Kagome, as expected, was flabbergasted and stunned.  Since being exposed to youkai society she had heard such a thing wasn’t unheard of but had never encountered it before.  But, the way she saw it, as long as the trio had no problems with it and felt that it would work she would be all for it and would encourage them all the way.

As the two ningens and the wind witch were headed towards lunch, Sango and Kagura to the dinning room and Kagome to Sesshomaru’s study, there was all giggling about the Kouga situation.

“You know, I doubt Kouga knows what he’s dropped himself into.”  Sango chuckled.

“Me either.  He might think he’s in heaven now but he may well have bitten off more than he can chew!”  Kagura added, grinning from ear to ear.

“He needs to remember if he does this he’s out numbered and out voted in things.  Kuni and Anikia, I have no doubt, will have no problem putting him in his place if the situation warrants it.”  Kagome giggled. 

After saying their goodbyes and planning to hook up after the meal, they headed off to their destinations.

…ks…ks…ks…ks…

Sitting with his back to his desk, Sesshomaru was staring out his study window.  As he had expected, he had gotten next to nothing done so far.  The only thing he had been able to focus on was the little priestess who had captured his cold heart.

With a barely audible sigh, he shut his eyes and lost himself in thought.  Quite frankly, at this point he didn’t care about the hunt for the spider hanyou or anything else, all he really wanted to do was lock himself away from everyone with Kagome and just spend time alone with her for a while.  She made him feel alive and truly wonderful for the first time in his life.  And, yes, he did love her.  He now knew something else because of that courtship mark; that he loved Rin as well.  Yes, since a certain point he had viewed her as a daughter and probably always would even after she was fully grown.  But now he was able to define just what he felt for her; it was love.  And it felt good!  But it was far eclipsed and different than the brightness and fire of what he felt for Kagome.  Yes, it was a different kind of love but it was so intense and bright whereas what he felt for Rin had been there for years, almost since the time she had started traveling with him.  Until this point he hadn’t understood when people talked about different kinds of love and how they varied.  He had just thought it to be sophistry or them deluding themselves.  Now he understood.  There were indeed different kinds of love that varied in intensity.

Finally, he was drawn out of his thoughts by a soft knock on his study door.  He had done no more than turn around when it opened and Daoe swooped in then began to rocket around the room, squawking happily.  Smirking, he watched the bird until Kagome sat the tray she was carrying on the desk then he stood up.  After taking the tray from her he gave her a quick kiss then sat it on his desk before once more sitting down.

After pouring them both some tea she sat down by him and they began to eat.

Looking at her, he asked, “What have you been up to today?”

“Oh, lots of things.”  She said with a giggle then began to fill him in on everything that she had done.

He listened tentatively, smirking at some of the gossip she had imparted.  He had to fight off a grin and chuckle when she got to the part about the Kouga, Anikia and Kuni ménage trios.  “I do believe that Kouga has made his life far more complicated than he ever thought possible.”  He said in an amused tone of voice.

“Two women and one male always lead to problems, usually for the male.” Kagome giggled.

“Indeed.  From what I’ve observed in the past it’s far too much work to ensure things run smoothly and to keep both onnas happy.”  He told her.  “Plus Anikia is an inu, they tend to be fierce about their mates and don’t share well.  Kuni is a raccoon youkai, they are a bit more relaxed in that area but sharing is never an easy thing.  But there are bound to be problems that will crop up and Kouga will be right in the middle of them.  I almost feel sorry for him.”  He smirked, eyes dancing.

Kagome giggled.  “He is in so much trouble!”

“Indeed.”  Sesshomaru agreed with a nod.

“So, how has your day been?”  She asked.

“Not nearly as much fun or exciting as your.”  He told her, eyes twinkling a bit the he filled her in on what little he had been able to accomplish.  “It seems that thoughts of a certain onna I know have been dominating my mind all day and rendered me fairly useless for anything else.”  He told her when he finished.

“Does this mean you’re going to knock off early and we get to spend the afternoon together?”  She asked, leaning against him, looking up into his face, grinning.

“Indeed it does.”  He told her, looking down into her face.  “I cannot see the point of sitting here and getting nothing accomplished when I could be spending the day with you.”

“Works for me!”  She said, a giggle in her voice.

…ks…ks…ks…ks…

Slipping her arm around his, she leaned against him and rested her head on his shoulder while they sat there.  Being this close to him made her feel so good.  It felt ‘right’ and made her feel complete. 

Unconsciously, she reached up and rubbed Inuyasha’s mating mark on her shoulder through her clothes, frowning.  While she was making the rounds earlier and attending to her duties she had noticed something odd.  Though Inuyasha was using those beads to block input through the mating bond it was still there and she could still feel it.  But she had noticed that it didn’t feel the same any more.  She really wasn’t sure what had happened but it didn’t feel as ‘intense’ and ‘powerful’ as it had before.  Those were the only words she could come up with to describe what it felt like.  She wasn’t sure what happened but she was certain that it wasn’t just her imagination either.  It had changed, she was positive of that.

Looking up at him, she said, “I have something to ask you about.”

“Go ahead.”  He told her, looking down at her.

Launching into what she was feeling, she tried to explain it the best way she knew how.

Listing to her, brow furrowed, he tried to assimilate what she was telling him.  Immediately, he understood what was going on; the mating bond was weakening.  But, he wasn’t sure if it was really weakening or if it was a die effect of the beads the whelp was wearing.  He thought that it might be a false fading as another way to hide him.  But he couldn’t be sure.  Nor was he sure that there was a way to tell if it was the real deal or not.

Leaning closer to her, he pushed her kimono off her shoulder enough to look at the boys mating mark.  He had seen it enough times before to know what it looked like normally.  This time it looked faded a bit, the colors seeming to be washed out.  Yes, he was excited that it did seem to be fading far more quickly than it usually would but tried to keep a leash on it and not get overly excited in case it was a false fading.  Leaning back in his chair, he looked her cloth-covered shoulder with a contemplative look on his face.  Stroking his chin thoughtfully, he asked, “Did you just notice it today or has it been going on for a while now?”

“I just noticed it today.  As far as I can remember it was normal up until I noticed it.”  She told him.  “Could it be your courting mark?”  She asked hopefully.

“I suppose it could be although I’ve never heard of such a thing before.  It could also have to do with your miko powers or a combination of the two.  If it’s not a false fading that is.  It may well be a side effect of the beads he is wearing as well.”

“Kagura said he’s been wearing them for a while now.  If it was because of those wouldn’t it have shown up before now?”  She asked. 

“That does make sense, yes.  One would think there would be a sign of it before now.  But let me set someone to doing a bit of research on it before we get too excited.”  He told her stoically.  Though even he couldn’t help be a bit excited and hopeful about this development.  If she was feeling that pronounced of a difference in it then that meant it had weakened considerably.  It wasn’t suppose to weaken that much in this short of a time period.  If it was the real thing what meant that the time it would take to weaken it enough to break it had probably been cut in half.  How that happened or why was a mystery to him and something he wanted explained. 

After getting Kagome’s permission, he sent for the healer in hopes that she would at least know where to start looking for answers or to see if she could tell if it was the real thing.

…ks…ks…ks…ks…

As he had decided earlier, he was done for the day.  Rather than go straight to his chambers as he had planned they walked around the fortress to see those there and be seen together then took a long walk in the gardens. 

While they were outside Sesshomaru began to get one of his inklings that something jut plain wasn’t right and his hackles began to rise.  No, he wasn’t sure what was causing it but he knew there was someone or something around that shouldn’t be there and was going to cause problems.  While he walked with her he scanned around to see if he could figure out what was setting off the warning flares but couldn’t find anything.  He decided to send out his guards when he got back inside but he didn’t think they would have any more luck than he was.

Kagome was sensing something amiss as well but couldn’t put her finger on what it was. She just knew it made a cold knot of dread form in her stomach.  Normally she loved her walks in the gardens with him but now all she could think about was going inside.  She most certainly didn’t want to be out here.  When an agitated Daoe flew out to join them and perched on her shoulder then began to rock form foot to food she decided she couldn’t stand to be outside anymore.  Giving the taiyoukai’s arm a squeeze to get his attention, she whispered, “Can you take me inside please?  I don’t want to be out here any more.”

“Alright, let’s go up to my chambers for the rest of the day.”  He said, a bit relieved.

Once they were back inside he sent some of his guards out to take a look around then escorted her up to his chambers.

…ks…ks…ks…ks…

When she stepped into his chambers and the door shut behind him she felt a lot better.  Once more she felt perfectly safe and protected making that forbidding feeling being to life.  Daoe seemed to calm down as well.  He flew around the room to check everything out like he usually did then lit on her perch and settled down.

Sesshomaru too felt better once they were in the warded confines of his quarters.  Unlike her he didn’t calm down fully though.  Still he felt that something wasn’t right and that something big was going to happen but he felt better and was sure that his miko was safe and protected from whatever it was as well.  On that count he did relax but his guard was still up.