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\fs24\lang1033\langfe1033\cgrid\langnp1033\langfenp1033 {\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 99 First Dates
\par 
\par Copyright\'a9 2009 by Stultus
\par 
\par Synopsis:  George is happily divorced}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid6619939  and even more happily involved in his prospering business}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
, but his friends think it is long past time for him to get back into the dating game once again.  Hilarity ensues.
\par 
\par Sex contents:  A bit of Sex
\par 
\par Genre: Romantic Humor
\par 
\par Codes: MF, FFM, Slow, Humor, Slight Misogyny, True?
\par 
\par Originally Posted at SOL: 20}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid6619939 10}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 -}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid6619939 01}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 -}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid6619939 16}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829 
\par }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid6619939\charrsid6619939 
\par }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
\par ******
\par 
\par Thanks to my Editor}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid6619939 s}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 ,}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid8017239  especially Dowd, Dragonsweb}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 , Sue, Ulf25 and other assorted Advance Readers!
\par 
\par ******
\par 
\par 
\par }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\ul\insrsid10246829\charrsid11417017 Author\rquote s Forward:
\par }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
\par Honestly, I'm not sure how to describe this story\'85 if it even is a }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 real}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  story.  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid6619939  In this tale }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 I}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid6619939 \rquote ve}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  poke}{\rtlch\fcs1 
\af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid6619939 d}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  a lot of fun at various semi (or very) dysfunctional women I have met, know}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid6619939 
n or heard vague rumors about, }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 and I\rquote m fairly sure a}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid1714103  quite similar stories}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  could be crafted concerning the horrible first dates that women have had with rather odd men. }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid6619939  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
So if this story offends anyone, I might as well start }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid6619939 off by apologizing now\'85 }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 it is quite unintentional.
\par 
\par The theme of the story concerns a collection}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid6619939  of horrific first dates }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid1714103 all }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
shoe horned into one tidy and }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 very}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  snarky story.  For a couple of years I\rquote 
ve collected awful first date stories from friends and acquaintances on various message boards were I lurk or actively participate, or from near total strangers during on-line game chat.  On the other hand I\rquote 
m also a writer and reserve the right to utterly make up wild-ass shit when real life wasn\rquote t }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid6619939 quite }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 humorous enough.  The \lquote 
True\rquote  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid6619939 story c}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 ode may }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid6619939 also }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 apply to some/most/nearly }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid1714103\charrsid6619939 this entire}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  story.
\par 
\par Your mileage may vary.}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829 
\par }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid1714103 
\par Note: the story has been recently updated (gently) just to correct a few lingering typos.}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid1714103\charrsid6619939 
\par }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
\par }\pard \ltrpar\ql \li0\ri0\widctlpar\wrapdefault\aspalpha\aspnum\faauto\adjustright\rin0\lin0\itap0\pararsid10246829 {\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
\par 
\par }\pard \ltrpar\qc \li0\ri0\widctlpar\wrapdefault\aspalpha\aspnum\faauto\adjustright\rin0\lin0\itap0\pararsid1714103 {\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 ******}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid1714103 *****}{
\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
\par }\pard \ltrpar\ql \li0\ri0\widctlpar\wrapdefault\aspalpha\aspnum\faauto\adjustright\rin0\lin0\itap0\pararsid10246829 {\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
\par 
\par Some of you might not see the bene}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid6619939 fit of shitty first dates; }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid1714103 or the point of trying to }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 endure almost one hundred of them.  But I do.
\par 
\par Isn't dating essentially a trial period to discover what makes each other tick\'85 and if you can stand even being around each other without a boxing referee to forcibly separate you}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid1714103  both}{\rtlch\fcs1 
\af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 ?  Would you rather discover in the very early going the little quirks and oddities that she has rather than have her try and cover up her dysfunctions in order to \lquote reel you in\rquote 
, only to later reveal her }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid1714103 frigidity, }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 weirdness}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid1714103 , excessive }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 
\ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 religious devotion}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid1714103 , }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 ownership of twenty cats}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid1714103  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 or eight kids by eight different guys?   In my opinion it is }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid1714103 far}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  better that you find out from the get-go what a loser she is, rather than waste any more time trying to see how she is \lquote deep down inside\rquote . 
\par 
\par For a lot of women (I'd venture to guess that it is a majority), there isn\rquote t actual
ly all that much really hidden deep down inside.   Most men think that women are an unfathomable mystery of complicated urges and emotions, often contradictory ones, but in my opinion they do put all their shit out there for everybody to see.  Usually bec
ause they don't think there's anything at all wrong with them\'85 and it's }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 your}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  fault if you refuse to observe this.

\par 
\par I was now a good fifteen years out of the dating game and wasn\rquote t even }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid68429 close to fifty}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
 percent sure that I was ready to start the strange and mysterious rituals of romance once again.  I\rquote d married (unwisely) at the age of twenty-two and was }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid6619939 ecstatically }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 
\ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 delighted to be a divorced and single man once again by the age of twenty-five.  My ex-wife possessed nearly every single negative personality qua
lity that I could think of, but like a fool I rushed into the relationship for trivial reasons - mostly involving that all of my blood had flowed out of my brain and into my cock, and we were married long before the blinders came off of my eyes.
\par 
\par During those three years of married life she ran up nearly $22,000 dollars of credit card debt that I was stuck with, complained about every single action (or in-action) that I ever made, and had affairs with my two best friends\'85
 and the husband of her own female best friend.  She didn\rquote t even care when she was caught and didn\rquote t show the slightest }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid14250083 bit of }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 remorse.
\par 
\par }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid14250083 Our divorce triggered }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 off a domino effect of three additional divorces for the other equally outraged spouses and the dust didn\rquote 
t really settle for several years after that.  Good riddance.  Her next husband, a man of far less patience than myself, physically attempted to murder her and she fled for the wilds of Oregon and is now happily married to a }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 
\ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid68429 small }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 town doctor somewhere surrounded by a lot of trees.}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid68429   She says she has got her shit together now and 
\lquote wants to be friends\rquote  but I couldn\rquote t give the slightest shit.  I\rquote ve just }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\insrsid68429\charrsid68429 barely}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid68429 
 gotten my own shit back together again!}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
\par 
\par I, in turn, spent much of the next decade paying off her debts and trying to build up a
 small but marginally successful antiques and collectables business.  I managed to achieve this minimal fringe edge of financial solvency largely because I routinely worked one hundred hour work weeks busting my ass off running to endless estate sales, ju
nk shops, and lower market end dealers where I could buy cheap and sell for slightly less cheap, and occasional sell something dearly for way more than I\rquote d paid for it.  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid14250083 
\par 
\par }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 I don\rquote t regret an hour of it.  Still, working or travelling non-stop looking for an item or two that I could sell for a significant markup didn\rquote 
t leave much time or opportunity for dalliance with young ladies, or now mature women.
\par 
\par With the bell of time now chiming that I had }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid68429 just }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 turned forty, my friends all pretty much decided that it was }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 
\ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid14250083 past }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
time that I once again took the plunge into the deep and turbulent waters of the dating pool.  The big problem was that even a casual glance at the single women of near my age range displayed several significant problems.  The primary problem being 
that now, at this stage in their life, I was almost certainly going to be inheriting someone e}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid14250083 lse\rquote s problems.  Namely, }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
children.  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid14250083 
\par 
\par Nearly all of the}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  divorced women that comprised most of the dating pool }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid68429 even }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 close to my age, had preexisting children by other fathers.  Sometimes multiple fathers.  Many, if not most of these single parents were first and foremost looking for a father figure that her kids could call \lquote 
Daddy\rquote .  
\par 
\par While this wasn\rquote t a complete and utter deal-killer, this was a significant obligation that I wasn\rquote t at all certain that I was suited for, let alone eager to assume.
\par 
\par On the other hand, the remaining women who had never married by their late-thirties all seemed to have \lquote }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid14250083 issues}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 \rquote , and often lots of them.  Either they were still partying like it was 1999 or else they had severe behavioral defects that }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid68429 frustrated}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 
\ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  all of their previous attempts to snare a mate.  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid14250083 
\par 
\par }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 Conversely, another significant sub-set of this unmarried pool consisted of career oriented women who had placed career advancement above home and family\'85
 but now their biological clocks were starting to tick }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid14250083 ever}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  close}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid14250083 r}{\rtlch\fcs1 
\af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  to midnight.  Most didn\rquote t care by this point about finding Mr. Right\'85 a}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid14250083 ny sort of}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  Mr. }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid68429 Right Now}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  would do!  The leopard hadn\rquote t really changed }{\rtlch\fcs1 
\af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid14250083 any of her}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  spots\'85 they were }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid14250083 mostly all }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 really just loo}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid14250083 king for a sperm donor and not }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 an equal companion and partner for life.
\par 
\par No one wants to die alone, and the older you get the more willing to settle }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid13462710 for less than 100% perfection }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
you become.  A twenty-year-old woman wants a man who's }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid13462710 handsome, }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 intelligent }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid13462710 
and very rich }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 (at minimum).  A thirty-year-old-woman wants a man who's }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid13462710 just sort of handsome and slightly }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 
\ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 intelligent and rich.  A forty-year-old woman will settle for a man who}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid14250083  i}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 s }{
\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid13462710 just }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 sort-of rich... and fertile.   A fifty-year-old woman just wants a man.  
\par 
\par This forty-year-old man just wanted a nice woman who wouldn\rquote t try to make his life a }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid13462710 complete }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 living hell\'85 but an occasi}{
\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid14250083 onal (or even frequent) }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 blowjob would be really nice too.
\par }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid14103276\charrsid6619939 
\par }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 I spent a}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid14250083 bout a}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  hundred hours looking ov}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 
\ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid14103276 er dating web sites and }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 message boards }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid14103276 for singles }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 on the Internet and what I saw disturbed me.  Then I took a look at the ads on Craigslist }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid14250083 t}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 hat }{
\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid14103276 this }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 scared me off the idea of dating entirely for nearly another six months.  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid14250083 

\par 
\par }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 Eventually I decided that I needed to do }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid14103276 something}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 \'85 but something else grabbed all of my time for a big chunk of the next year instead.  It was definitely career improvement for me in a great many ways, but }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid14103276 it}{
\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  wasn\rquote t contributing in the slightest to getting me laid more than }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid14103276 just }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 occasionally.
\par 
\par 
\par }\pard \ltrpar\qc \li0\ri0\widctlpar\wrapdefault\aspalpha\aspnum\faauto\adjustright\rin0\lin0\itap0\pararsid14103276 {\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 ***********
\par }\pard \ltrpar\ql \li0\ri0\widctlpar\wrapdefault\aspalpha\aspnum\faauto\adjustright\rin0\lin0\itap0\pararsid10246829 {\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
\par My small antique shop was on a decent main street in our large city right in the heart of the \lquote alternative lifestyles\rquote  part of town.  Artists, bikers, counter-culture folks, punks, musicians, new agers, eccentrics, gays and lesbians }{
\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid14103276 and Methodists }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
all more or less happily nested together.  There were lots of other antique, junk and vintage clothes shops right nearby and this created a sort of \lquote antiquing\rquote  vortex that attracted customers into the area, both young and hip and }{
\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid14250083 also the }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 ser
iously old money.  My landlord recognized this potential disgustingly early and after a couple of years he now owned about half of the commercial real estate within five city blocks of the heart of this Mecca and he was always prospecting to buy out more.
  
\par 
\par He was a screwy but likeable elderly man of Middle Eastern de}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid2299250 s}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
cent who had arrived in this country with only a few dollars in his pocket just before the Iranian Revolution of the late 1970\rquote s, but he proceeded to work hard and make a small fortune.  Mayb
e even a medium sized fortune.  In addition to collecting rent from over two hundred properties, just for fun he ran a junk shop right next door to me filled with absolute rubbish and crap that sold just about as fast as he could bring it in by the truckl
oad.  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid14103276 It was junk that was little better than scrap metal, but t}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 he guy sure knew how to wheel and deal!  
\par 
\par We talked shop a lot together as we both shared the love of old things from elder days and we actually got to be reasonably close friends.  I\rquote ll call him Ankar, but that\rquote s not really his name.  
\par 
\par That one spring day just after my fortieth birthday, Ankar suddenly made me the proverbial offer I couldn\rquote t refuse.
\par 
\par 
\par }\pard \ltrpar\qc \li0\ri0\widctlpar\wrapdefault\aspalpha\aspnum\faauto\adjustright\rin0\lin0\itap0\pararsid14103276 {\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 *********}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid14103276 ***}{
\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 **
\par }\pard \ltrpar\ql \li0\ri0\widctlpar\wrapdefault\aspalpha\aspnum\faauto\adjustright\rin0\lin0\itap0\pararsid10246829 {\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
\par \'93George, your}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid14250083  problem with life is that }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 you think too small \endash  you need to expand\'85
 spend some money to make some more money, you should!  You are a smart }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid14250083 and hard working }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
businessman and my only tenant that pays his rent on the first day that it is due \endash  you need to be more successful in life}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid14103276 , and then find a woman to fuss over you
 with large breasts and give you many fine children}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 !\'94
\par 
\par \'93That\rquote s nice in theory, Ankar, except for fact that I really can\rquote t afford to move into a bigger space and take on any more rent.  I have these awful food addictions and need to be able to afford to buy
 groceries occasionally.  If I have to eat Kraft Mac & Cheese or Ramen noodles for dinner more than twice a week I start having dreadful cannibalistic thoughts.\'94
\par 
\par \'93Perhaps if I were to have an alternative for you?  We could then help each other, we could!\'94  Yes, I kid you not\'85 he really did speak pretty much }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid14103276 just }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 like Yoda}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid9984040  from Star Wars}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 .
\par 
\par \'93Ok\'85 maybe.  Such as what?\'94 
\par 
\par \'93You know I\rquote m building that new strip shopping center three blocks up the street?  What if I could offer you }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid14103276 part of }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
that space }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid14103276 right at the corner }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 for your }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid9984040 new }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 shop\'85 but at your current rent?  What a deal that could be!\'94
\par 
\par \'93My current total rent price, or }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid14103276 at }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 the same rate per square foot?}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid14103276 
  Nice but the NNN would kill me.}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 \'94}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid14103276   NNN is the extra \lquote common area maintenance fees\rquote , }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid1847370 an extra significant surcharge added to your base rental lease of usually about an extra $10 per sqf, which in my case could nearly double what I paid now, even if the rental cost were to be the same.}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
\par 
\par }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid1847370 \'93That entire space, 3800 square feet for}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid1847370 only your current total rent cost. 
 All of it, }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 for exactly }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid1847370 only }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 what you pay me now}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 
\ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid1847370  for your 1200 square foot lease}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 .  A ba}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid1847370 rgain it would be at twice that, and for you my friend\'85
 no triple net, except for electricity.}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 \'94
\par 
\par He wasn\rquote t just whistling {\*\xmlopen\xmlns2{\factoidname place}}Dixie{\*\xmlclose}.  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid1847370 I was paying $25 per sqf now for half o
f a dumpy old refurbished former house that had been turned into a retail duplex}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 .  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid1847370 That was $2500 rent each month\'85
 but now for just over t}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid7753706 hree times as much retail space, or the ridiculous rate of $7.9 dollars per sqf!
\par 
\par }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 I began to smell a rat}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid7753706 .  This was way too good to be true}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
, or rather I was }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid7753706 sure}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  that there was going to be some sort of minor condition }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid7753706 attached }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 for this }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid7753706 serious }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 \lquote favor\rquote 
.  It had to involve something that would really help him out of some major jam.  Ankar was a decent honest man, but he was also shrewd, wily and pinched every dime until it squeaked.  He }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\i\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid7753706 never}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  gave away money either.  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid7753706 He liked me\'85
 but not nearly enough to hand me money from out of his pocket.  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 When I found out what his side of bargain entailed I really had some second and third thoughts.
\par 
\par Ankar had a niece named Farahnaz (she shortened }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid9984040 it }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
to just Farah) who was married to an old family friend from the old country.  It was one of those traditional family arranged marriages where the husband and wife had never even laid eyes on each other until the }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid7753706 wedding }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 ceremony, and saying \lquote No\rquote  wasn\rquote 
t an acceptable excuse to get out of it.  Tribal politics and old family connections (and money) had priority over domestic happiness.  
\par 
\par She was a baker and a good one.  She had studied at a top Parisian baking school before her marriage and was quite \lquote western\rquote 
 in her dress, attitude and behavior and she spoke flawless English.  Her husband Hooshmand was frankly an insufferable weight around her neck and an albatross that tainted every business they had tried to run so far.  In theory, his name meant \lquote 
wise\rquote , but he was loud-mouthed, arrogant and ignorant, and would have been much happier}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid9984040  living back }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid7753706 home }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid9984040 in the Middle}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  Ages rather than }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid7753706 in }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
a modern western city in the twenty-first century.  He only bothered to learn about twenty words of English, most of those }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid9984040 were really }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
not entirely suited to dealing with customers\'85 politely anyway.
\par 
\par Together, well mostly due to Hooshmand, their two previous bakeries had failed badly and they were currentl}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid7753706 y significantly in debt}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
.  Since they were \lquote family\rquote , he was willing to spot them for one final third time }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid9984040 \endash  but this time with a }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
boatload of conditions.
\par 
\par Ankar\rquote s cunning plan was to create a large antique & collectables mini-mall with a built in caf\'e9 and bakery}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid7753706  at the end-cap of his newly constructed corner stripmall}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 
\ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 .  I could have }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid7753706 nearly }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 three-quarters of this new space to expand my }{\rtlch\fcs1 
\af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid7753706 own }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 stock to my hearts content, but my main #1 job would be to keep rein over Hooshmand.  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid7753706 
I would be the manager of the combined operation.  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 He could still serve customers\'85 but from now on he would be banned from handling the financial accounts or the money.  }{\rtlch\fcs1 
\af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid9984040 Especially}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  the money\'85 that would be my job now.  
\par 
\par Since they would now have essentially free rent, the forlorn couple could concentrate solely upon their cafe, and I had the full and unlimited authority from Ankar to crack whatever sort of whip I needed to keep the operation going.
\par 
\par Hmmmm.  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid9984040 
\par 
\par }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 This was much more responsibility than I really wanted, but in the end I said yes and accepte
d the deal.  It was just too good of a financial deal for me to pass up.  We shook hands on the deal (no written contract) and over the next six months Ankar put the finishing touches on the Antique shop/bakery/caf\'e9 (hereafter shortened to just the caf
\'e9) and I cleared out my shop, my garage and a house jammed full of }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid9984040 lovely old crap}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  into the new digs.  Even after I was }{
\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid9984040 completely }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 done moving in, I still had about half of my space under-utilized and ripe for }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid9984040 future }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 expansion.
\par }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829 
\par }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid7753706 Ankar was right, if I could keep Hooshmand under control, I had the possibility of finally turning a decent profit and growing my business up nicely!
\par }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid7753706\charrsid6619939 
\par }\pard \ltrpar\qc \li0\ri0\widctlpar\wrapdefault\aspalpha\aspnum\faauto\adjustright\rin0\lin0\itap0\pararsid7753706 {\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
\par *********}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid7753706 ****}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
\par }\pard \ltrpar\ql \li0\ri0\widctlpar\wrapdefault\aspalpha\aspnum\faauto\adjustright\rin0\lin0\itap0\pararsid10246829 {\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
\par }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid9984040 Naturally, }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 I }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid7753706 did }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
ha}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid7753706 ve}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  endless trouble with Hooshmand right from the very start but his wife Farah was a joy to work with
 and the two of us saw eye-to-eye about nearly everything about how t}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid9984040 he new business would be run. }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
\par 
\par In less than a week after we were open, I caught her troublesome husband\rquote s hands in }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid4133784 the central}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  cash register }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 
\ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid4133784 for the third and final time }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 and that was the last straw.  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid4133784 
We had one very final disagreement and parting of ways:
\par 
\par }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 He threw a snit}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid4133784 \'85
\par }\pard \ltrpar\ql \fi720\li0\ri0\widctlpar\wrapdefault\aspalpha\aspnum\faauto\adjustright\rin0\lin0\itap0\pararsid4133784 {\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid4133784 I showed him the door (politely).
\par }\pard \ltrpar\ql \fi720\li720\ri0\widctlpar\wrapdefault\aspalpha\aspnum\faauto\adjustright\rin0\lin720\itap0\pararsid4133784 {\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid4133784  He called me a lot of very bad names in Farsi at the top of his lungs.
\par }\pard \ltrpar\ql \fi720\li1440\ri0\widctlpar\wrapdefault\aspalpha\aspnum\faauto\adjustright\rin0\lin1440\itap0\pararsid4133784 {\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid4133784 I showed him a clinched fist and the will to use it\'85
\par }\pard \ltrpar\ql \fi720\li2160\ri0\widctlpar\wrapdefault\aspalpha\aspnum\faauto\adjustright\rin0\lin2160\itap0\pararsid4133784 {\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 then }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid4133784 the 
bastard pulled a knife on me!}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939   }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid4133784 
\par }\pard \ltrpar\ql \li0\ri0\widctlpar\wrapdefault\aspalpha\aspnum\faauto\adjustright\rin0\lin0\itap0\pararsid10246829 {\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid4133784 
\par Ankar had politely warned me that this day might come, and told me just what to do!
\par 
\par I first twisted and broke Hoosh\rquote s}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  wrist and then }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid4133784 shattered }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
his nose when I smashed his face into the floor six or ten times.  I was having so much fun that I sort of lost count.  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid4133784 
Then I grabbed the rat faced bastard by his pants and literally kicked his ass outside onto the curb and told him to get lost and }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\insrsid4133784\charrsid4133784 stay}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid4133784 
 lost.  Then I phoned Ankar to give him the happy news.
\par 
\par Hooshmand}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  returned an hour later with some }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid4133784 angry looking }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
friends for moral support and they }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid4133784 all }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid16154133 started to pull out}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  knives }{\rtlch\fcs1 
\af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid16154133 the moment they walked in the door,}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  until I drew my .45 Colt automatic which I always kept under the cash register}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid9984040 ,}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  and that stopped them dead in their tracks.  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid16154133 I pointed the weapon right at Hoosh\rquote 
s shattered nose and told the thieving asshole to sit down and shut up.  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid4133784 Two minutes later}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  Ankar }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid4133784 arrived}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  with a few friends of his own.  Bigger, meaner and nastier friends}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid9984040 \'85 and they all had guns too!}{
\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
\par 
\par Big Rule in Life #1 \endash  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid9984040 Never}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid9984040  bring a knife to a }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
gunfight.  Rule #2 would have to be - Never piss off the Persian Mafia\'85 Ankar didn\rquote t even need to hear my side of the story}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid4133784  in person,}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  and he was more than ready to deal with his idiot }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid4133784 nephew-}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid16154133 in-law, once and for all after a
 brief conversation with Farah.}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
\par Ankar and Hooshman}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid8736711 d}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  had a long loud and very angry talk in Farsi but I think some sort of settlement was eventually reached.  Hooshman}{
\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid8736711 d}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  left and none of us ever saw him}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid4133784 , or his }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid16154133 angry looking friends}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  again.  Farah wouldn\rquote t ever discuss }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid9984040 any of }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 those personal }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid16154133 \lquote }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 family}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid16154133 \rquote }{
\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  arrangements, but it did seem to involve her obtaining a divorce and her ex had returned }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid16154133 home to Iran with a little pocket money}{
\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 \'85}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid16154133  and}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  to stay.
\par 
\par Don\rquote t get me wrong.  I liked Farah very much and she was an ideal business partner, but the two of us never struck any romantic sparks.  She remarried a few months later to a much nicer husband }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid9984040 
that was entirely }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 of her own choosing and he worked at least as hard as she did to make the bakery-caf\'e9 side of the operation a }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid8736711 res
ounding }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 success.  He was }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid9984040 quite}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
 well educated and also spoke excellent English and unlike his predecessor, he actually enjoyed greeting and chatting with the customers and soon became extremely popular with everyone.}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829 
\par }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid8736711 
\par No one missed the }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid16154133 departed}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid8736711  and unlamented Hooshmand.}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid8736711\charrsid6619939 
\par }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
\par 
\par ***********
\par 
\par With the family drama over and done}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid16154133  with}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 , we all settled down to making money. }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid8736711 

\par 
\par }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 With some of th}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid8736711 e empty display space left-}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
over I put in some big tall glass display cases and started to take in consignments.  I sub-leased out a
 large section along one window to a big antique glass and china dealer who was willing to also work the cash register on weekends so that I could get out and do some antique stock shopping}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid16154133  of my own}{
\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 .  His sub-lease }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid16154133 rental to me }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 also fully paid for all of 
my overhead costs so that all of my sales became nearly pure profit!
\par 
\par The bakery could soon easily afford to handle half of the utility bills, and when we added in tables, chairs and a few comfortable big padded armchairs, our customer base just about doubled overnight, and tended to now stay much longer\'85 and spend}{
\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid16154133  money}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 .
\par 
\par Within six months we were the \lquote hot\rquote  trendy destination place in our very artsy community.  We\rquote d bring in the folks on the way to work in the morning for a cup of early morning coffee, the
n the housewives came for breakfast, then the local}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid16154133  business workers}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  came for lunch, the interior decorators }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 
\ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid7298793 and artsy crowd }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 came for high tea, a}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid5520362 nd the students then came and }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 spent half the night studying and drinking free coffee.  On weekends we were packed.  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid5520362 
\par 
\par }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 For fun, we added a kiosk of six computer desks to make a sort of Internet cyber-caf\'e9 for catering to customers wanting to get some work done.  Instead, the on-line gamers usually had 
}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid7298793 all the}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid7298793 PC\rquote s}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  in }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid7298793 constant }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 use every evening and all weekend long.  We rearranged thing}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 
\ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid5520362 s}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  around a little and added another four computer desks and soon every night we had groups scheduling ten-man \lquote Raids\rquote  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 
\ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid5520362 for their favorite online game }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 and staying until long after midnight.  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid7298793 
And drinking bottles of Mountain Dew or Jolt Cola like water.  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid5520362 With later }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid7298793 business hours, i}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 f anything, this just lead to us becoming the fun place to visit after clubbing late at night, or even very early in the morning}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid7298793  on weekends}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 
\ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 .}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid7298793   Soon, we didn\rquote t even bother closing between Friday morning to Monday morning!}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
  
\par 
\par We hired a night crew and Farah and I tried to get out the place at a civilized hour.  At first for awhile anyway\'85 until I started to learn first hand much more about World of Warcraft and elves and orcs\'85 and Raiding than I ever really wanted t
o know}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid7298793  from our all night weekend customers}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 . }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid7298793 
\par 
\par Did I mention that for the first time in my life money was flowing in faster than I could spend it?  Different\'85 and rather nice!
\par 
\par 
\par }\pard \ltrpar\qc \li0\ri0\widctlpar\wrapdefault\aspalpha\aspnum\faauto\adjustright\rin0\lin0\itap0\pararsid7298793 {\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid7298793 *****************}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 

\par }\pard \ltrpar\ql \li0\ri0\widctlpar\wrapdefault\aspalpha\aspnum\faauto\adjustright\rin0\lin0\itap0\pararsid10246829 {\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
\par Financially secure now for the first time in my entire life, and just shy of my forty-first birthday, the great challenge of finding a woman that I could enjoy spending the rest of my life with began.  One friend bet }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid5520362 that I\rquote d find Ms. Right in }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 less than ten dates, but the wiser and more cynical Farah thought it wo
uld take me at least thirty.  It ended up taking exactly ninety-nine first dates!
\par 
\par 
\par }\pard \ltrpar\qc \li0\ri0\widctlpar\wrapdefault\aspalpha\aspnum\faauto\adjustright\rin0\lin0\itap0\pararsid7298793 {\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 ******}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid7298793 ******}{
\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 ****
\par }\pard \ltrpar\ql \li0\ri0\widctlpar\wrapdefault\aspalpha\aspnum\faauto\adjustright\rin0\lin0\itap0\pararsid10246829 {\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
\par 
\par Before I can even to describe this adventure I }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid5520362 first }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 need to clarify my }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid7298793 original }{
\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 ground rules just a bit.  My sources for dateable women were mostly via three separate on-line dating services, a professional \lquote Introduction\rquote 
 service, and identical ads in the Men-Seeking-Women section of our local alternative newspaper and on Craigslist.  In every case I described myself and my interests and wants accurately and provided a recent photograph.}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid5520362   The ad read like this:}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
\par 
\par }\pard \ltrpar\ql \li720\ri0\widctlpar\wrapdefault\aspalpha\aspnum\faauto\adjustright\rin0\lin720\itap0\pararsid5520362 {\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid5520362 \'93
40+ WM seeking 30+ F.  Disappointed in love long ago and unlikely to be }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\insrsid7298793 a fast}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid5520362 
 horse out of the starting gate, but patience might be rewarded by a }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\insrsid7298793\charrsid5520362 speedy}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid5520362 
 finisher.  I am a busy small business owner and a bit old fashioned in too }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\insrsid7298793 many and }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid5520362 
numerous ways to count.  Financially solvent but not looking to become a sugar daddy.  I like books, cats, cheap Italian red wine and anything old and dusty.  Hate slimy vegetables, \lquote Type \lquote A\rquote  over-achievers and}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 
\ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\insrsid5520362  anything resembling emotional drama}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid5520362 .  Am ho}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\insrsid5520362 nest, sincere, }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\i\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid5520362 emotionally stable, non-smoking and happy with where I am in life, and }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\insrsid7298793 I }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid5520362 
am (reasonably) height/weight proportional \endash  I expect the same from you!  Uncomfortable with children but might try, for a truly exceptional woman.  Sorry, no long walks on the beach \endash  I sunburn easily.\'94
\par }\pard \ltrpar\ql \li0\ri0\widctlpar\wrapdefault\aspalpha\aspnum\faauto\adjustright\rin0\lin0\itap0\pararsid10246829 {\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
\par Once contact was established by either phone or email, I would first suggest }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid7298793 (strongly) }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
a casual get-together on the evening of her choice for \lquote just coffee\rquote .  If }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid5520362 she then offered }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 dissatisfaction}{\rtlch\fcs1 
\af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid5520362  with this plan}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 , I would then }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid5520362 instead }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 offer a \lquote casual dinner\rquote  for a weekend evening.  In mostly most instances, unless geography was an issue, the coffee date was held at our antique shop/bakery/caf\'e9
.  I wanted a bit of home field advantage, plus Farah and our other staff }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid5520362 want}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 ed to make their own }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid7298793 first }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 impressions of my date.  We rarely ever disagreed. 
\par 
\par For a coffee date I\rquote d dress in casual Dockers }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid5520362 slacks, }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 polo shirt}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid5520362  and sneakers}
{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 .  For a restaurant date I\rquote d wear a white shirt and decent dress slacks and shoes.  No suit or tie under any circumstances!  When I said casual I meant it.  I would }{\rtlch\fcs1 
\af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid8987466 of course }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 judge her }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid8987466 own }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
attire by these same looser standards in all fairness.
\par 
\par Concerning how I graded my date, I created a post-date checklist of items.
  Did she demand the full dinner treatment rather than just a first casual meeting?  Did she sneer at my middle-class restaurant choice (usually my favorite local Italian place)?  Did she abuse the serving staff?  Did she even }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 
\ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid8987466 pretend}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  to act interested in me?  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid8987466 Did she pretend too much?  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 
\ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 Did she fuss that I wasn\rquote t wearing a suit and tie?  Did she talk non-stop about vapid topics?  Did she discuss her work problems/money problems/ex problems/children problems }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 
\ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid8987466 excessively or even }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 nonstop?  Was she stark raving loony?  And so forth.
\par 
\par These dates are listed more or less in chronological order, and identified by the single most blatant aspect of her personality.  Some traits were shared by many of these women, but in every instance something particularly grabbed my attention about her
\'85 usually in a bad way.
\par 
\par Now, let the chronicle of pain and misery begin!
\par 
\par 
\par }\pard \ltrpar\qc \li0\ri0\widctlpar\wrapdefault\aspalpha\aspnum\faauto\adjustright\rin0\lin0\itap0\pararsid8987466 {\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 ******************
\par }\pard \ltrpar\ql \li0\ri0\widctlpar\wrapdefault\aspalpha\aspnum\faauto\adjustright\rin0\lin0\itap0\pararsid10246829 {\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
\par 1.  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\ul\insrsid10246829\charrsid5520362 Ms Eager Beaver}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid5520362  - }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 She was }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\i\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid5520362 way}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  too eager.  So eager that she had the aura of desperation about her that she plainly wore }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid8987466 
like a coat }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 for everyone to see.  She agreed to my casual \lquote coffee date\rquote 
, and within the first five minutes had made instant plans for the next month of our relationship.  Scary.  I broke off the date the moment it was decent to do so and ignored her repeated pleading phone calls for me to call her back, anytime at all }{
\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid8987466 - }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 day or night!
\par 
\par This was just supposed to be a casual meeting with no talking about problems or how compatible we are with each other.  This is just a first date}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid5520362 \'85}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  it's supposed to be light-hearted and relatively carefree.  
\par 
\par *********
\par 
\par 2. }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\ul\insrsid10246829\charrsid5520362 Ms. Fattyass}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid1731572  - }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 I\rquote 
m not usually ever rude about other peoples personal appearances, but she wasn\rquote t even }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid1731572 remotely}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
 height/weight semi-proportional.   She had sent me a photo of herself that was about a decade old (and over a h
undred and fifty pounds lighter than she was today).  This massive 300+ pound blob of femininity had demanded the full dinner treatment for our date, but I nipped her feasting plans right in the bud.  I was firm but unapologetic; she had patently tried to
 deceive me by lying (badly) about her appearance, so that she could exploit that old chestnut about her \lquote beautiful inner self\rquote .  Nice try.  If she had been honest, I\rquote 
d have at least fed her.  She threw a loud fit and I walked out of the restaurant on her.
\par 
\par I wasn\rquote t expecting a Sports Illustrated swimsuit model, but I also don't want a wife or girlfriend that is clinically and morbidly obese\'85 and lies about it.
\par 
\par ********
\par 
\par 3.  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\ul\insrsid10246829\charrsid1731572 Ms. Cheapskate}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  \endash  Another gal who demanded the full wining and dining treatment.  Sh
e was good looking, pretty smart, and very flirty and an otherwise rather suitable young woman, so we went out a few times over about two weeks.  From appearances she likely earned at least three times what I did, and she was apparently used to nothing bu
t the best, and on someone else\rquote s wallet.  I paid the $150+ dinner checks and then our tabs at the }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid1731572 night }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
club next door.  Never once did she ever offer to even pay the tip or even once hint about picking up a single round of drinks.  I was slightly bemused 
by her but I got the true message fast when I got the unsubtle hint that she wanted an expensive present for her upcoming birthday.  
\par 
\par I\rquote m old fashioned and used to paying for }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid1731572 the}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  date, but it\rquote s nice when the woman at least }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\i\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid13457524 offers}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  to pay once in awhile.  N
o, I don't expect you to actually pay on the first date, but after that you should at least reach for your purse occasionally to make the offer, or maybe even cover the tip }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid13457524 to the waiter }{\rtlch\fcs1 
\af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 while I cover the cost of the meals, drinks, and whatnot.  In {\*\xmlopen\xmlns2{\factoidname place}}Europe{\*\xmlclose} while on various antique buying trips, most girls I dated would }{\rtlch\fcs1 
\af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid1731572 insist}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
 on sharing the bill.  It had something to do with personal pride.  I guess that's what real emancipation makes out of a woman: They want to show they can pay for their }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid1731572 own meals }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 
\ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 and don't need a spineless sugar daddy that has to pay for female attention.
\par 
\par *********
\par 
\par 4. }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\ul\insrsid10246829\charrsid1731572 Ms. Strip-Mall Guidoland Nails}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  \endash 
 Farah told me later after this coffee date that she always preferred the term \lquote ghetto talons\rquote  for the insanely long claws that this women possessed.  Even a wolverine would}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid13457524 
 have been proud of those claws!}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939   She acted fairly hot-to-trot and hinted that we could have another cup of coffee at her place, but I declined.  
\par 
\par I didn\rquote t want those fake nails anywhere near me, let alone raking my back during sex.  She had French tips longer than actual carpentry nails!}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid13457524   This screamed \lquote high maintenance\rquote 
 and I decided to avoid a round two with her.}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
\par 
\par ***********
\par 
\par 5.  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\ul\insrsid10246829\charrsid1731572 Ms. Child Drama}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  \endash  Many of my dates exhibited a good bit of concern about my possible accep
tance of their children, but this date sprang this delicate topic by surprise right in the middle of dinner!  The \lquote }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid13457524 I have kids}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 \rquote  bombshell.   Odd, there were none listed in her }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid13457524 online dating }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
profile.  In her case, with the worry that she was exhibiting about them, there obviously must have been some serious drama }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid1731572 going on backstage }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 there, possibly with an ex-husband }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid13457524 or baby-daddy }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 who was getting out of prison soon. 
\par 
\par After hearing what my brother has gone through with several psycho bitches who had kids by equally unstable other men, I wouldn't ever go down that road except for the lady of my dreams... and this one wasn\rquote t it.
\par 
\par *********
\par 
\par 6.  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\ul\insrsid10246829\charrsid1731572 Ms. Faux Posh Bit}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
 - She dressed up for our casual dinner date like she was a lady of high society.  She was appalled at
 my appearance and gave me a sharp dressing down for my sloppy attire.  Then she became unhappy with the normal restaurant menu choices, and she requested the presence of the head chef and special requested that he make her a parmesan-crusted duck breast 
with balsamic reduction.  Then she ordered the most expensive wine on the menu without consulting me.  Apparently for her, only the very best of anything would do.
\par 
\par I knew that she was a pose}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid2299250 u}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 r when she mispronounced half of the words on the French wine bottle and }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid1731572 after }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 I }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid1731572 had }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
engaged her in a probing discussion about other good wines.  She then failed nearly every question I posed to her about places in Europe; I\rquote d been there a few times and knew a few odd things, but she just tried to continue to bullshit t
hat her family had estates in both England, France and Tuscany\'85 but she couldn\rquote 
t name a single airport or town nearby any of them.  If I had gotten her faux designer gown onto my bedroom floor, I would have been certain that it was also a fake knockoff.
\par 
\par I }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid13457524 also }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 don't like any sorts of breasts with }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid1731572 any}{\rtlch\fcs1 
\af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  kind of reduction.  I refrained from laughing in her face and tried to enjoy the evening of low comedy, and I lost her phone number }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid1731572 afterwards }{
\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 at my earliest convenience.
\par 
\par **********
\par 
\par 7.  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\ul\insrsid10246829\charrsid1731572 Ms. Just Low and Outside for a Ball}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
 - I have had a few unbelievably awkward dates -- dates that I couldn't wait to get away from, they were such disasters... only to get calls/emails from the }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid13457524 ladies}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  asking \lquote what's next?\rquote   This was one of the worst of these.  I thought our chemistry during our coffee date was poor and that we really didn\rquote 
t click together as a pair.  She thought otherwise.  I shrugged and gave her a second try over dinner but it really wasn\rquote t any better.
\par 
\par There were other situations where there was really absolutely nothing wrong with the date -- we just had nothing in common and we weren't a good match.  I'm sure this goes equal for }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid1731572 the }{\rtlch\fcs1 
\af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 women who didn\rquote t catch onto my act the first time around either. 
\par 
\par ***********
\par 
\par 8. }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\ul\insrsid10246829\charrsid1731572 Lydia the Tattooed Lady}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  -  She was }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid1731572 young, }{\rtlch\fcs1 
\af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 wild, uninhibited and actually a decent bit of fun at our coffee date.  She was really too young and wild for me but she was such a fun }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid1731572 gal}{
\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  that I took her out to dinner the next night.  After which we did a few clubs that had live music and we ended up later
 at my place.  She had so many tattoos all over her body that all I got to see was a poorly drawn comic boo}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid1731572 k}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
 instead of the naked woman I was looking forward to fucking.  
\par 
\par Tats aren\rquote t usually a major turnoff for me, but when 9}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid1731572 5}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 % of your skin is covered in ink I have to wonder exactly what you\rquote 
re rebelling against.  I think a few tasteful or pretty tattoos are a perfectly fine way to rebel, }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid1731572 I have a very small one myself, }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
but many ladies get }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid7936222 extremely }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 defensive when they hear that a lot of guys think they're }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid1731572 just over done and}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  gross.  When a girl is covered all over with loud and very obvious tats, it sadly says to }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\i\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid7936222 me}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  that she\rquote 
s probably either a used-up tramp, or a nice girl who has a used-up tramp history.  Why permanently mark yourself down a few points with nearly everyone you\rquote 
d meet?  So you can rebel against daddy or feel a little more punk?  Sorry, just my opinion.  A few would have been fine, but not nearly her whole body.
\par 
\par Ok, the wild monkey sex was really, }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid1731572 really}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  good!   She loved it in every hole and in every position\'85 and often.

\par 
\par The tats weren\rquote t the final deal-breaker \endash  she was }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid1731572 just }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
too young and way too wild for me, and she did have a lot of drama going on in her life with lots of ex-boyfriends waiting for the call to be back on her A-list once again.  She had wanted one \lquote normal\rquote 
 boyfriend not in any alternative punk rock or biker lifestyle and the novelty }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid7936222 of my more mundane life}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
 wore off fairly fast.  We parted friends and she stops by the}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid7936222  store occasionally to say \lquote hi\rquote  and refers the odd customer to us, but she\rquote 
s still playing the party road hard and fast and sometimes I feel sorry for her.}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
\par 
\par **************
\par 
\par 9.  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\ul\insrsid10246829\charrsid1731572 Just Plain Fucking Nuts}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
 - She was a screeching, mad as a hatter, howling at the moon BPD case that could embarrass hillbillies at a trailer park }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid7936222 meth }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
cookout.   Oh my God, but she had the cra}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid15811732 zy!  She probably had }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
full-blown Borderline Personality Disorder and I considered myself lucky to escape her after only half an hour with her.  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid15811732 
\par 
\par }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 She called the next day to threaten suicide if I didn\rquote t take her back again.  In her }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid15811732 deranged }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 mind I was calling her up non-stop wanted to be with her, but the voice in her head was saying that I needed to prove my love to her by cutting her name into my arm, and }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid15811732 to }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 do it right now!
\par 
\par She tried to call me for weeks until I managed to get AT&T to block her phone number from calling mine.  Thank God she never learned where I work!
\par 
\par  **********
\par 
\par 10.  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\ul\insrsid10246829\charrsid15811732 Ms. I have to take this very important call for just a moment}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid15811732  - I hate c}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 ell phone shenanigans.  That has got to be t
he biggest put-off on a date.  If we're having a good conversation and your phone rings and you instantly take the call without even acknowledging the interruption, it says to me that I\rquote 
m not interesting enough for you to even focus on me for minute or I\rquote m just not worth it for you to even pretend to be considerate.  The first time she did it, it was just annoying.  By the fourth time I decided that I\rquote 
d much rather be somewhere else}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid15811732  too}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 .
\par 
\par Most women will almost never receive a text/phone call in their entire lives that }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid7936222 has}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
 to be answered immediately, certainly not the inane \lquote lol r u 4 }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid7936222\charrsid6619939 ser}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid7936222 -e-}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid7936222\charrsid6619939 us}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid7936222 ?}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 \rquote 
 nonsense that her friends seemed to babble at her all day and all night.  It's self-absorbed, egotistical behavior - no excuses about it.  She can receive all the ca
lls she wants as long as I'm not sitting there in silence like Joe Jerkoff waiting for her to finish discussing what the high class whores on Sex and the City did on last night's episode with one of her friends.  
\par 
\par After this happened the fifth time with the constant phone interruptions, I finally gave up, got up and excused myself to use the bathroom, and when I came back she was still blabbering on the phone.  I then just quietly found the waiter and }{
\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid7936222 paid}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  our check and told him that anything else she ordered was on her own tab.  Then I fucking left \endash  it was a matter of courtesy. 

\par 
\par I set my phone to silent when I\rquote m out on a date and I\rquote d really appreciate the same consideration.  Don\rquote t talk on your cell phone during a date unless it's a genuine emergency (an
d the color of someone's nails does not qualify as an emergency).  Blood or fire!   Your }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid7936222 \lquote }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 oh so very important call}{\rtlch\fcs1 
\af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid7936222 \rquote }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  had better involve either the police, EMS or the fire department!
\par 
\par ***********
\par 
\par 11.  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\ul\insrsid10246829\charrsid15811732 Child Drama Lady #2}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  \endash  This mother of the year candidat
e was so paranoid about my immediate acceptance of her crotch spawn that she brought both of her vile }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid7936222 little darlings}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
 along with her on our first date at }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid15811732 the}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  restaurant so that I could meet them}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid15811732 
 right away}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 .  They were a nasty and rather surly pair of brats that obviously already didn\rquote t like what they saw in their \lquote future father\rquote 
 and they were determined to wreck the marriage long before it had the faintest hope of happening.
\par 
\par I faked an emergency at work, paid the restaurant tab and ran, not walked, out of there as fast as my feet would carry me.
\par 
\par **********
\par 
\par 12.  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\ul\insrsid10246829\charrsid15811732 Super Cling-Wrap Lady}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid15811732  - }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
She was either the most super affectionate huggy-touchy sort of woman that I\rquote ve ever met or else she was }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid15811732 really }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
freaking desperate!  She seemed scared that I was going to leave her after just the first date.  Kissing on a first date?  Heck, she snogged me in the first five minutes!   }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid15811732 
I could hardly keep her in her own chair and out of my lap!  
\par 
\par }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 She called me }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid15811732 about }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
twenty times during the next three days until I convinced her that I was going to have to suddenly move out of town to take care of my poor ailing mother }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid15811732 who lived }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 in the wilds of {\*\xmlopen\xmlns2{\factoidname place}}{\*\xmlopen\xmlns2{\factoidname State}}Nova Scotia{\*\xmlclose}{\*\xmlclose}. 
\par 
\par I just wanted to deal with women that were already more or less already happy with themselves.  I'm not going to enjoy tim
e with you if you don't enjoy your own life.  Like Bugs Bunny meeting the Abominable Snow Monster, she just wanted to hug me and hold me and pet me and stroke my hair and call me George.  Ack!
\par 
\par *******
\par 
\par 13.  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\ul\insrsid10246829\charrsid15811732 Ms. God is my Co-Pilot, or Religious Zealot #1}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  -
 I never discuss religion on the first date, or usually even the fiftieth.  In fact, I don\rquote t really have any thoughts about }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid15811732 any}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  religion at all.  The coffee date started off alright and I was asking her about her weekend plans so that I could fish for some
 interesting second date ideas.  She proceeded to tell me all about her bible school and the next exciting sermon that she just couldn\rquote t wait to hear next Sunday.  She then revealed her true fundamentalist colors by asking me about abortion and }{
\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid15811732 monstrously }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 wicked theory of evolution.   Finally she asked me to join her }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid3609672 
fundamentalist }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 church and by then I had had more than quite enough.  
\par 
\par No religion/political/vegan/whatever discussi}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid3609672 ons.  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 Period.  Aga}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid15811732 
in, this is the first date\'85 }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 I have to like you first before we dive into disagreements.  If you start right off with disagreements, I'll likely find you disagreeable.
\par 
\par As Robert Heinlein once wisely said, \'93Avoid zealots, for they are generally humorless.\'94  So very fucking true!
\par 
\par **************
\par 
\par 14. }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\ul\insrsid10246829\charrsid15811732 Ms. Bundle of Insecurity}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
 - Another coffee date that went horribly off course right from the very start.  She was one of those folks }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid15811732 who }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
hide her inner insecurity by talking about themselves nearly non-stop.  You know the kind; the one's that yap about how great they are, how beautiful they are, or else they\rquote 
ll argue over silly little trivial unimportant things that they should just drop and let go.   The crowning touch was when she told me outright that something I had just said was \lquote stupid\rquote . 
\par Not exactly the way to impress me.  That\rquote s alright; I didn\rquote t impress her either apparently.
\par 
\par *************
\par 
\par 15.  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\ul\insrsid10246829\charrsid15811732 Ms. Bowser}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  \endash  Ok, that was rude, but her on-line picture didn\rquote t }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\i\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid15811732 remotely}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  match the }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid15811732 face and }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 body that showed up for our date.  Not even vaguely.  She\rquote d borrowed a photo }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid15811732 of a model }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
from off of the web somewhere }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid15811732 to portray the }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
beautiful swan that she saw herself as.  Unfortunately, I in turn only saw a rather unattractive woman that displayed many years of hard driving over rather bad roads, with little or no maintenance\'85 and a willingness to deceive.
\par 
\par I didn\rquote t even stay to greet her.  When I heard her ask at the caf\'e9 }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid3609672 cash }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
register for my name I just sidled right out the other door and stayed gone for a few hours.  We had a brief email exchange later where I chastised her for
 her rather blatant lie and she forgave me for ditching her.  She did have a very nice personality and she even forgave me enough to later on buy a few Christmas presents from the antique shop.  If she had been honest with me from the start we could have 
had a rather interesting date.
\par 
\par **********
\par 
\par 16.  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\ul\insrsid10246829\charrsid15811732 Ms. Shameless Liar}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid15811732  - Even more than the d}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
og above, this gal tried to pull the full scam over me.  Her profile photo was of a rather famous supermodel}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid15811732  and actress}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
, and her actual likes and dislikes and her actions }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid3609672 in reality }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 didn\rquote 
t remotely match what she had listed on-line.  The last straw was when she }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid5516066 had }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
earlier said in an email that she didn't smoke or drink, but yet she did both incessantly during our coffee date.
\par 
\par I evened the odds }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid5516066 later }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 by getting an IT 
geek friend of mine to send her a fake email that pretended to be a message from Brad Pitt, stating that he was going to fly here right away in h}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid3609672 is private jet to whisk her off, }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 
\ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 hand-in-hand.  She then immediately called afterwards to rather rudely dump me, and I could hardly keep from laughing myself silly.
\par 
\par **********
\par 
\par 17.  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\ul\insrsid10246829\charrsid5516066 The Human Chimney}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  - I had to admit that she had a rather hot body, but she chain smoked}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 
\ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid5516066  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 absolutely non-stop during our brief coffee date.  I left her to get a breath of fresh air and then just decided to stay gone.  I\rquote 
m not at all sure that she even noticed.  She was too busy w}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid5516066 ith her life-long three }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 packs a day affair with Joe Camel.
\par }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid5516066 
\par ************}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid6184271 
\par \page }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid5516066 CHAPTER TWO
\par 
\par 
\par The litany of }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid11481153 romantic }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid5516066 horror continues\'85
\par }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid5516066\charrsid6619939 
\par }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 18. }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\ul\insrsid10246829\charrsid5516066 Ms. Stuck-Up Bitch}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  - I've ha
d first dates where the woman was rude or snide or otherwise disagreeable, but never to the extent that this woman demonstrated}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid5516066 .  If she had anything nice }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 or pleasant to say during our brief coffee date than I must have blinked and missed hearing it.   She made especially rude comments about Far}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid5516066 
ah and loudly wondered why \lquote }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid3609672 those sort of people\rquote }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  were being allowed in this country}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 
\ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid2166284 .}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939   I wondered if this is how she always acted on a first date when the rest of the world tries to put their best foot forward?  Or maybe this }{
\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid2166284 was}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  her best behavior?  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid5516066 
\par 
\par }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 Yikes.  Either way, no second date. 
\par 
\par Later, she griped to all of her friends about what an awful date I was,}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid5516066  like I was some sort of player or }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 sleezebag}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 
\ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid5516066  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 because I didn't call her back, and via a friend of a fr}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid5516066 iend, the word of her }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 
\ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
displeasure came to be known to me.  I'm a bit of an odd sort of fellow and many of my friends are even stranger and odder still.   A good wife would need to be able to treat them well, because I'm not certainly going to have you around for a m
oment if you\rquote re going to habitually hurt my friends' feelings.
\par 
\par *************
\par 
\par 19.  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\ul\insrsid10246829\charrsid5516066 Ms. No Goals}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
 - She was pretty enough and she had a bit of intelligence, but otherwise she displayed a complete and utter lack of any meaningful ambition in life.   She didn\rquote t have a single life-goal past getting married.   What a waste.  She didn\rquote 
t even seem }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid3609672 particularly }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 concerned that I wouldn\rquote t be asking her out again.
\par 
\par All that }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid5516066 sort of behavior and attitude }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 tells me is that you can't wait until you can sit at home all day watching soap operas}{
\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid3609672  and reality TV}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 , getting fat and leeching off of my income.
\par 
\par ***********
\par 
\par 20.  The }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\ul\insrsid10246829\charrsid6762500 Martha Stewart wanna-be}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
 - The coffee date went so well that I tagged her for dinner the next night.  That went alright too and then she invited me to her house for dinner the following night.  Everything in her house was picture perfect\'85
 and god help the man who put anything out of place!  She could cook like a dream but I could already watch her knuckles turning white whenever I }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid3609672 moved or touched anything}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  or }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid3609672 didn\rquote t }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 keep things }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\i\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid3609672 exactly}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  as she wanted them.  She wanted a curator for her domestic museum, not a helpmate and partner in life.
\par 
\par I had seconds on dessert and started to think of suitable ways to break our association.  The quick and simple method was to let her see the pig sty that was my apartment on our next date.  Ok, I deliberately didn\rquote 
t do dishes or laundry for a few days and tossed a few things around (I\rquote m not a complete domestic disaster) and let her panic.  She nearly immediately created the few small suitable lies that ended our relationship}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid3609672  on a mutually satisfactory note}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 .
\par 
\par ***********
\par 
\par 21.  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\ul\insrsid10246829\charrsid6762500 Ms Perfection}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
 - A smug condescending woman who let me know in the first minute of our conversation that I wasn\rquote t at all up to her }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid3609672 normal }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
standards, but that she\rquote d }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid2166284 try}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
 and stoop down a bit closer to my level and give me a try.  She was nearly forty years old herself, never married, but believed that she was the finest piece of }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid3609672 ripe }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 fruit still hanging on the tree.  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid6762500 
\par 
\par }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 Hey ladies, if you're going to have a take-it-or-leave-it attitude, }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid3609672 most}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  guys (like me) are going to choose option B. 
\par 
\par I predict that she will still be unmarried in another ten or twenty years, but that her standards wouldn\rquote t have declined in the slightest.  It would never be }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6762500 her}{\rtlch\fcs1 
\af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  fault that no man was capable of being worthy of her.  
\par 
\par **********
\par 
\par 22.  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\ul\insrsid10246829\charrsid6762500 Ms. Bored}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  - This woman confused me to no ends.  She acted bored out of her skull with a \lquote 
why am I here?\rquote  look on her face and yawned all night long when she was with me\'85 then complained bitterly to me when she called me a week later }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid2166284 to gripe }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 that I hadn\rquote t called her back to ask her out for another date!
\par 
\par I chalked it all up to her living in a slightly different reality than mine and I gave her a gentle letdown.
\par 
\par }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid3609672 *************}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
\par 
\par 23.  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\ul\insrsid10246829\charrsid6762500 The Ms. was a Mrs.}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
 - Being already married is a serious deal-breaker for me, but from the way she was playing footsie with me under the table, I guessed that finding out later on after we had had sex would be an even worse way to find this }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid9066188 fact }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 out.  I don\rquote t do adultery, so yeah, I guess in that way I respected her candor }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid9066188 by admitting the truth }{
\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 upfront.  I think she would have been fun in bed, but I didn\rquote t want any sort of scene with an outraged husband, or his firearm collection.
\par 
\par **********}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid3609672 *}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
\par 
\par 24. }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\ul\insrsid10246829\charrsid2166284 A Dinner for Three}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  - It
 was supposed to be a quiet intimate dinner for two, but all night long there was another man at the dinner table.  Figuratively speaking anyway.  She was tall, bright and beautiful, but all dinner long she kept mentioning her ex who now lived in 
{\*\xmlopen\xmlns2{\factoidname place}}{\*\xmlopen\xmlns2{\factoidname State}}Colorado{\*\xmlclose}{\*\xmlclose} and how she was looking forward to seeing him again when he returned home here in a few weeks to visit his parents.
\par 
\par No bets but what she wouldn\rquote t run back into his bed the moment he crooked his little finger at her.  This also smacked of drama, and I didn\rquote t need any in my life.
\par 
\par *********
\par 
\par 25. }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\ul\insrsid10246829\charrsid2166284 Ms. Secretive}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  \endash 
 She was almost the perfect woman; bright, intelligent and hot looking with gorgeous hair, perky breasts I wanted to inspect at close hand, and her smoking }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid9066188 little black }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 dress showed off a lot of nice s
oft and creamy thigh.  I also never learned one single thing that was true about her - and her phone number and address were both false.  Was she CIA, MI:5, or some other spook?  Or just another crazy gal playing mind games?}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid9066188   She then disappeared without a trace, with all of her on-line information now gone.}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
\par 
\par I waited by the phone for her to call me }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid2166284 back }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid9066188 for several weeks but she never did.}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 

\par 
\par ***********
\par 
\par 26.  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\ul\insrsid10246829\charrsid2166284 The Flirt}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  - I like a perky woman and don\rquote t mind it a bit when they get a bit assertive or aggressiv
e, but not with other men while on a date with me.  She flirted non-stop with every waiter/busboy/or other male that passed within ten feet of her.  I really didn\rquote 
t like the wink she was giving to another male restaurant patron who was trying to ignore her and pay attention to his own date.  It didn\rquote 
t work.  Outraged, his date upended a mostly full plate of pasta over his head and stomped out.  The Flirt just winked at him harder and gave him one hell of a \lquote come hither\rquote  look.
\par 
\par I walked out too and told my o
ld friend the waiter that my date was on her own and I left.  Obviously she never noticed my absence and she just cast her net for other fish.  Clearly she was not the sort of girl to remain faithful to just one guy at a time.
\par 
\par *************
\par 
\par 27.  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\ul\insrsid10246829\charrsid2166284 The Commander}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  \endash 
 Her Imperial Ladyship tried to give out the orders from the moment we met at the restaurant.  She took full charge and ordered everything, even my dinner\'85 quite against my wishes, but she wouldn\rquote 
t take no for an answer.  She drove our waiter half-crazy, running him back and forth non-stop for the entire meal and treated the menials with the scorn that she obviously thought they deserved.
\par 
\par By the time the check comes, I already know if I'm going to ask a woman out again.  One of the most important things I look fo}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid1798528 r is how she treats the }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 wait staff.  I t}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid2166284 hink that this }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid1798528 is }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid2166284 a very fair }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 
\ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 test. }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid2166284  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
I've even given the waiter/waitress a bigger tip if my date was being a bitch to them.  I have no time for inconsiderate people.  It's mo}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid1798528 re about rudeness, really.  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 It is the same as with the cell phone}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid9066188  behavior, an}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  \lquote 
I don't think you're important enough to pay you the same consideration you're paying me\rquote  kind of thing.  Luckily, these types of people }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid1798528 are easy to discover as they\rquote re }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 
\ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 also usually the same kind of folks that think it's ok to t}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid1798528 reat their servers like }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
boot scum.  So they're not exactly hard to recognize.
\par 
\par I had to make a fast break from this man-eater the moment dinner was over.  Given time, this Hunting Girl would have had me licking her boots with my ton
gue and polishing her saddle leather while she gleefully sodomized my virgin ass with her riding crop.  Kinky, but not the sort of refined acts that get my juicer harder than nun\rquote 
s buns.  I did give a rather odd sort of wimpy friend of mine her phone number and they\rquote ve been an item ever since.  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid9066188 The world is full of all sorts of different types of peope.}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 
\ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
\par 
\par *************
\par 
\par 28.  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\ul\insrsid10246829\charrsid1798528 The Mushroom}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  \endash 
 She was pretty in a mousy sort of way, but she was even less motivated than Ms. No-Goals.  She had no interest in the outdoors or really ever leaving her house to do much of anything.  She didn\rquote 
t even like shopping.  Fortunately she had a computer programming job where she could work from home most days and never leave the house until she ran out of Haagen-Dazs}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid1798528  or Dove bars}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 
\ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 , and mostly she didn\rquote t.  I gave her a couple of tries but she never wanted to do much of anything, and we\rquote d }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid9066188 always }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 
\ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 end up watching a Netflix movie at her home.  I\rquote m pretty sure she was borderline agoraphobic but she said she was happy with being a homebody.  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829 

\par }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid9066188 
\par She also had a sex drive of almost zero and pulled back hard anytime I tried to go past first base.  We sort of stayed friends, but without \lquote benefits\rquote .}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid9066188\charrsid6619939 
\par }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
\par **********
\par 
\par 29.  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\ul\insrsid10246829\charrsid1798528 Miss }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\ul\insrsid1798528 \lquote }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\ul\insrsid10246829\charrsid1798528 Thang}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 
\ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\ul\insrsid1798528 \rquote }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  \endash  I didn\rquote t believe it was possible but I met a woman even more self-absorbed than }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\i\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid1798528 Ms. Perfect}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  above!  She had the attitude of \lquote }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid9066188 my shit don\rquote t stink
}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 \rquote  permanently carved on her face.  It was ME ME ME ME ME ME all night long.  Utterly and completely self-absorbed.  She also probably never even noticed }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 
\ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid9066188 during}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  our coffee date when I said goodnight and left}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid9066188  her blabbing on}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 .  
\par 
\par It's great if you talk about yourself on the first date, cause we're getting to know each other and all that, but if I'm sitting there wondering when you're going to shut up the fuck up, and you're ten minu
tes in to your diatribe about how much you love watching Desperate Housewives, then the relationship isn\rquote t going to go anywhere.
\par 
\par **********
\par 
\par 30. }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\ul\insrsid10246829\charrsid1798528 BPD #2}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  \endash 
 This one nearly traumatized my entire attitude towards meeting any more strange unfamiliar women.  Sh
e threw her cup of coffee at me just because I mentioned that I occasionally liked to hang out with a few of my buddies once in a while.   She then threw a chair at me when I mentioned that I didn\rquote 
t think we ought to see each other and the police had to be called.  She }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid11953699 had a long police history of exhibiting bizarre behavior and apparently she had gone off of her medications.  They packed her off 
}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 to a county mental hospital where they kept her in a padded room for about five months.   She turned up at the caf\'e9 }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid1798528 again }{
\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 right after her release}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid11953699 , once again off her meds}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
 and began raving about all of the letters I had sent her, begging for us to get back together again.  We called the police again and she\rquote s back in the farm once more.  She just refuses to take her meds.   Absolute insanity!
\par 
\par ************
\par 
\par At this point, with the thirty date bet mark met and about to be surpassed, our caf\'e9 staff started into some really serious wagering.  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid1798528 The betting now ranged }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid11953699 out to}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid1798528  at least f}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 ifty dates }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid11953699 as}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  the new average estimation for how long it would take me to find an actual }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid1798528 serviceable }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
girlfriend, and they started to }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid11953699 prominently }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 keep track of my failures on the }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid1798528 staff }
{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 bulletin board.
\par 
\par ***********
\par 
\par 31.  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\ul\insrsid10246829\charrsid1798528 Another Religious Nut}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  -  She turned out to be a Christian Taliban zealot who
 was too tightly wrapped up in her very personal relationship with God }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid11953699 (capital G) }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 to spare room }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid11953699 in her life }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 for any mere mortals.  Some of her viewpoints about enacting religious laws }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid11953699 
as the future legal law of the land}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid1798528  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 were frankly scary.  She literally 
wanted to bring back stoning to death sinners who blasphemed against God\'85 or any of his thousands of }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid1798528 other }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
Laws.  We politely agreed to disagree and had an interesting discussion about the Old Testament Book of Ruth, and she peaceably parted with me unconverted from my evil heathen ways.
\par 
\par Okay, I didn't expect to end up in bed on the first date, but when you start trying to convert me to your religion, because your religion is the most important thing in }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid1798528 your}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  universe, that pretty much eliminates any possibility of a second date.
\par 
\par **********
\par 
\par 32. }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\ul\insrsid10246829\charrsid1798528 Ms. Oblivious}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  \endash  I }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid1798528 actually }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 
\ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 liked her quite a lot.  She seemed smart, fun loving and had a good job that she enjoyed, but somehow the two of us were always a bit out of synch.  She would always pull-back if I leaned 
too close and she didn\rquote t seem to like to be }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid11953699 physically }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 touched at all, even }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid1798528 
when I offered to }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 help her with her coat.  After three dates without even a single kiss goodnight I called it quits.  She then called me a few weeks later to sincerely ask why I ne
ver made any sort of move on her? 
\par 
\par It wasn\rquote t due to any lack of trying!
\par 
\par ***********
\par 
\par 33.  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\ul\insrsid10246829\charrsid1798528 Ms. 16 Tons of Emotional Baggage}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid15738010  - }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
Thank goodness for it only being a coffee date.  She poured out her soul to me as if I were her paid psychologist.  Nothing apparently had ever gone right in her entire life and even her issues seemed to have issues }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid11953699 all }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 of their own\'85 mostly concerning }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid15738010 her bad relationship with both of her parents}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 
\ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 .
\par 
\par Oops, sorry\'85 I have to run to an u}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid15738010 rgent appointment at my }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 dentist.  Elective root canal surgery}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid15738010  that suddenly now can\rquote t wait}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 .}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid11953699   I\rquote m too old to deal with \lquote daddy\rquote  issues\'85
 but the very next new date had her issues in spades!}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
\par 
\par *************  
\par 
\par 34.  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\ul\insrsid10246829\charrsid15738010 Ms. Serious Daddy Issues}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  \endash  A scary, scary woman.  She was really a little too young for me but sh
e was decent fun at dinner, even if she did talk about how important her father was in every other sentence.  She wanted to see my place afterwards and her tiny }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid11953699 thin }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 dress hit the bedroom floor two minutes later.  She wanted me to call her \lquote my little girl\rquote  or \lquote Angel\rquote  while fucking her\'85 while she called me \lquote Daddy\rquote .  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 
\ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid15738010 Freaky!}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
\par 
\par The moment that we were done screwing, she then grabbed her cell phone to call her darling Daddy to tell him that she\rquote d be late getting home, and then proceeded for the next twenty minutes to tell him }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid15738010 all }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 about her day.  The }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid15738010 really}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  creepy part is that she wanted me to fuck her ass right then }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid11953699 and there, }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
while she talked on the phone with her father!  Ok, she did like it up her butt, but that scene was seriously weird!
\par 
\par I didn\rquote t call her for a second date and she apparently found some other more willing daddy surrogate.
\par 
\par ************
\par 
\par 35.  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\ul\insrsid10246829\charrsid15738010 Ms. Impatient}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  \endash  During our }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid15622587 casual }{\rtlch\fcs1 
\af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 coffee date she talked endlessly about marriage and having babies as soon as possible.  She then complained why none of 
the previous men she had dated lately had ever called her back for a second date.  I don\rquote t think she quite realized that this sort of talk (especially on a first date) tends to run men off pretty quick.  Myself included.
\par 
\par *************
\par 
\par 36.  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\ul\insrsid10246829\charrsid15738010 Ms. Complainer}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  \endash 
 One of the worst dinner dates of my entire life.  She complained about my appearance, didn\rquote 
t like the first two tables we were offered to be seated at, demanded that her fork be replaced, and then later her knife.  When the dinner came sent her steak back to the kitchen twice, complained about the }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid15622587 tomatoes in the }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 salad}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid15622587 ,}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  and }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 
\ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid15622587 just about }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 everything else }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid15738010 as well }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 for no particular reason.  I swear she had more gripes than the battleship {\*\xmlopen\xmlns2{\factoidname place}}{\*\xmlopen\xmlns2{\factoidname State}}Arizona{\*\xmlclose}{\*\xmlclose}
!   For dessert she whined and complained about the weather.  
\par 
\par I have my own problems}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid15738010 \'85}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  I don't want to hear about yours}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid15738010  on a first date}{
\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 .
\par 
\par ************
\par 
\par 37.  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\ul\insrsid10246829\charrsid15738010 On the Rebound}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  \endash 
 I rather liked her, but she was just straight from a bad breakup/divorce and she was still in that \lquote hurt/mistrusting/angry\rquote  phase.  I\rquote ve been there myself.  In another six months to a year, she\rquote d probably be a bright happy }{
\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid15738010 and }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 cheerful woman once again\'85 but not today.
\par 
\par **************** 
\par 
\par 38.  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\ul\insrsid10246829\charrsid15738010 The Drama Queen}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  \endash 
 From the first five minutes of our coffee date, I could feel the emotions rising.  Virtually everything in her life was a }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid15622587\charrsid6619939 disaster;}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  in fact she was the living embodiment of \lquote management by crisis\rquote .  Apparently everyone at her work was an idiot so she had to do the work of five different people single-handedly, }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 
\ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid2299250 and}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  her life at home wasn\rquote t any easier.  Something was always }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid15622587 needing her constant attention}{
\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  or }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid15622587 one of her friends absolutely must have her advice or help with a project, since }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 they couldn\rquote t do it themselves }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid15622587 properly}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  and }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 
\ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid15622587 only}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  she}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid15622587  \endash  Wonder Woman,}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  could do it right.  And so forth.  The icing was when she openly discussed her prozac and valium dependency.
\par 
\par Fortunately, a friend desperately needed her shopping advice and she had to rush off}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid15622587  to once again save the day!}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
  I was about ready for a valium myself by that point and I needed about three glasses of red wine }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid15622587 afterwards }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 before I could chill out.

\par 
\par ************
\par 
\par 39.  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\ul\insrsid10246829\charrsid15738010 The Pathological Liar}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  \endash  I\rquote 
d never heard so much bullshit before in a single hour.  Her father was a famous professional baseball player (who didn\rquote t appear for some reason in my }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid15738010 current edition of the }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 
\ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
Baseball Encyclopedia); She also claimed to be a cancer survivor of a rare near incurable variety; had been raped repeatedly back in college but the cops laughed at her because the man who did it was someone famous.  She ha}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid15622587 s}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  restraining
 orders against three different men that have been stalking her for years; and of course her family was wealthy and has houses all over the world.  You get the idea.
\par 
\par }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid15738010 Complete and total b}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 ull }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid15738010 s}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 hit!
\par 
\par }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid15622587 For paybacks, }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 I told her that I was an escapee from a Miss
issippi chain gang and that I was hunting for my missing partner in crime who had legged off with seven million dollars in uncut diamonds from our last heist.  She sounded intrigued, but I told her I had to hoof it off to {\*\xmlopen\xmlns2{\factoidname 
place}}{\*\xmlopen\xmlns2{\factoidname country-region}}Mexico{\*\xmlclose}{\*\xmlclose} pronto\'85 after fitting my ex-partner into a shallow grave.
\par 
\par ***************
\par 
\par 40.  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\ul\insrsid10246829\charrsid15738010 The Empty Dress}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  \endash  I}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid15738010 
n my lengthy dating experience, I}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  met several rather hot looking women who had, literally, nothing going on in their lives.   They}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid15738010  had}
{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  cruised through life entirely on their looks. }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid15738010  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 They don't read}{
\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid15738010  books or a newspaper (except to see if Macy\rquote s is having a sale)}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
.  They don't understand ANY references to current events, politics or even history or literature.  Their total sum knowledge of the world is whatever was happening within their circle of friends, going back about six months}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid15622587 , and the latest reality TV celebrities}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 .
\par 
\par }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid15622587 She was pretty\'85 and willing, so w}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 e banged each other }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid15738010 anyway }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 
\ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 for a few weeks, and then it fizzled-out when we settled into a routine and I realized we had NOTHING whatso
ever to talk about once we were out of bed.  I've had a fair share of empty hotties over the decades, and to be honest, I'm over it}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid15738010  now}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
.  
\par 
\par If we go out and there's no substance there -- see ya later.  Be interesting... please.  No, I really don't give a c
rap about the latest hijinks that the latest movie star-du-jour is pulling off, nor do I care about the vast majority of crap that usually qualifies for news in People Magazine.  Talk about your hobbies, fun things you've done recently, something... }{
\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid15622587 anything}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 .  Otherwise you're a vacuous whore, and I'd rather not waste my time.
\par 
\par I took her into work with me a few times to try and get her interested in something that I did, but nothing seemed to interest her.  She found an equally }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid15622587 mentally }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 empty stud muffin in a suit a month or two after we split and they\rquote re quite deliriously happy together}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10683311  now}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid7959091 
, but I feel sorry for their future children.}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
\par 
\par ************
\par 
\par 41.  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\ul\insrsid10246829\charrsid10683311 The Mouth of the South}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  \endash  She never once shut up and as far as I could tell she didn\rquote 
t even need to stop for air.  EVER.  I went to use the bathroom and when I came ba}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid2299250 ck out she was still telling }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
her incomprehensible story, without a break, to the pained couple that }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10683311\charrsid6619939 w}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10683311 as}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  sitting at the table next to her.
\par 
\par I told her that I had to run to }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10683311 a }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 doctor\rquote s appointment, something to do with my growing deafness.  She got the hint.
\par 
\par ***************
\par 
\par 42.  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\ul\insrsid10683311 One Brown }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\ul\insrsid10246829\charrsid10683311 Mouse}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  \endash 
 She showed up for coffee dressed up all frumpy and she kept her eyes down and her mouth shut most of the evening.  She was vaguely cute and with a bit of effort she could possibly be cleaned up and converted into a sexy librarian sort of gal.  
\par 
\par I was willing to give it a try\'85 the quiet ones are always crazy-hot once you get them into bed, but she didn\rquote t return any of my three }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10683311 post-date }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 phone calls.
\par 
\par *************
\par 
\par 43. }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\ul\insrsid10246829\charrsid10683311 The Swinger}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  \endash 
 This wild gal in her early thirties alternately fascinated and repulsed me.  She was pretty good looking but was showing her mileage a bit.  She was an unashamed \lquote swinger\rquote  and admitted that she and}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid10683311  her last ex used to go to }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 swapping parties every weekend.  He got tired of that scene \endash  she didn\rquote 
t, so they split.  Her favorite way to spend a weekend would be to have ten plus guys all pulling a train on her.
\par 
\par Ok, I\rquote m a pig}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10683311  and I must have had temporary insanity}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 .  I gave her the sec
ond dinner date and we bumped uglies all that Friday night.  She was good enough in bed that we stayed there most of Saturday as well.  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10683311 
Since all of my blood had flowed out of my brain and into my cock once again, }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 I let her talk me into taking me to a private swinger party being held at a friend of hers that night}{
\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10683311  -}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  but I didn\rquote t stay too long.  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10683311 
\par 
\par }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 She wanted to fuck other people, namely }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid10683311 everyone}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
 }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid7959091 else }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 who was there, both male and female, and I soon found it annoying to watch.  Oh, I got my rocks off with a co
uple of willing swinging wives, while their hubbies }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10683311 happily }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 boned other equally willing swinging wives, but I }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 
\ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10683311 personally }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 couldn\rquote t handle the jealousy.  I\rquote m not really cut out to be a happy swinger.
\par 
\par After getting my rocks off a few times and watching my date get three-hole penet}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid7959091 rated repeatedly until she saw heaven}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
, I became bored, so I put on my clothes and went home.  She didn\rquote t call me back and I had my }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid7959091 family doctor}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  give me a full }{
\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10683311 sexually transmitted}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  disease workup and I fretted for over a week until he s}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10683311 
aid I was clean}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 .
\par 
\par Never again!
\par 
\par **********
\par 
\par 44.  Ms}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\ul\insrsid10246829\charrsid10683311 . Yankee {\*\xmlopen\xmlns2{\factoidname place}}{\*\xmlopen\xmlns2{\factoidname City}}Independence}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
{\*\xmlclose}{\*\xmlclose} \endash  I met her entirely by happenstance.  Some friends of mine were having a big Friday after work get-together and everyone invited their friends and co-workers.  We ended up }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid7959091 with a crowd of over twenty}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  people}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid7959091  at one long table}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  and six of them were visiting school teachers who had just moved down }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10683311 together }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 from Massachusetts
}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10683311  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 to work contract for our local school system.  In the next }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid7959091 three fun filled }{
\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 hours they proceeded to drink us guys }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid7959091 nearly }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 under the table.  }{
\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10683311 
\par 
\par }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 Figuring we had been hoodwinked, }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid7959091 the men}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
 were trying to count our money under the table to make sure we could cover the astronomical liquor bill.  When the check came one of the women }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10683311 instantly }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 grabbed it and }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid7959091 with }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 her calculator, }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid7959091 quickly }{
\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 did the math}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10683311  to split the bill equally }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid7959091 among}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid10683311  everyone}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 , and called out a number}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10683311 \'85}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
 and all the }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid7959091 visiting teachers}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  st}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid7959091 arted laying money on the table!}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 
\ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939   
\par 
\par I asked the guy next to }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10683311 me}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid3228032 ,}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid7959091  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10683311 \'94}{\rtlch\fcs1 
\af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10683311\charrsid6619939 What}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  the heck are they doing?\'94 
\par 
\par He said, "I think they're paying for their own drinks!" 
\par 
\par "{\*\xmlopen\xmlns2{\factoidname address}}{\*\xmlopen\xmlns2{\factoidname Street}}No Way{\*\xmlclose}{\*\xmlclose}!  I've never seen that happen." 
\par 
\par "Me neither!" Said my friend in total awe and amazement.  We thought those northern guys }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid3228032 must have had }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 it made!
\par 
\par I had a second and third date with one of these teachers but it didn\rquote t really work out.  Too much culture difference and she knew that she wasn\rquote t going to stay down here for good, so she didn\rquote 
t want to get too serious into any relationship}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid7959091  and then leave}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 .  We became friends with benefits for the next }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 
\ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid3228032 six months until she }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 returned home}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid7959091  and she didn\rquote 
t mind that I was continuing my disastrous trend of first dates with other women, and found my updates hilarious}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 .
\par 
\par ***********
\par 
\par 45.  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\ul\insrsid10246829\charrsid3228032 The Professional Dater}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  - She had dated over twenty different men in the past six months, but she \lquote 
just }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid3228032 couldn}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 't find what she}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid3228032  was}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  looking for\rquote .  She told me this on the first date.  Obviously, much like Ms. Perfect, she was never going to find what she was }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid3228032 really }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 
\ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 looking for\'85 the quote \lquote Perfect Man\rquote , nor was she willing at the moment to settle for something less.
\par 
\par I wished her good luck with her virtually hopeless Diogenian search.}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid3228032   As far as I know that old Greek is still looking for an honest man too.}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
\par 
\par ***********
\par 
\par 46.  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\ul\insrsid10246829\charrsid3228032 The Werewolf}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  \endash  Honestly, she had more facial hair than I did!
\par 
\par ************
\par 
\par 47.  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\ul\insrsid10246829\charrsid3228032 Hotty McHot-Rod}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  \endash  She pulled up in front of the caf\'e9
 driving a fire engine red Porsche Turbo Targa convertible and wore a screaming red leather mini-dress with designer brand sunglasses.  She drank her latte and pointedly asked }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid3228032 me }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 
\ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 what kind of car I drove!  Since I buy/sell antiques and haul things about for a living}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid7959091 ,}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  I proudly showed her my eight year old }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid3228032 beat-up }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
pickup truck and she soon left to burn rubber somewhere else.  What an insufferable egomaniac!}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829 
\par }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid7959091 
\par In my opinion, and I admit that it\rquote s a minority one, cars are for transportation and functional utility, rather than status symbols.  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid16386871 Sure beemers and BMW\rquote s are nice, but for me they
\rquote re not functional\'85 and I don\rquote t want the sort of wife that needs an expensive car as a necessary fashion accessory.}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid7959091\charrsid6619939 
\par }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
\par **************
\par 
\par 48.  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\ul\insrsid10246829\charrsid3228032 Ms. Fitness Zealot}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  \endash  Ok, her profile said she was athletic and very }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid3228032 physically }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 active, but I was a bit surprised when she ran the six miles to meet me for our coffee date.  She sneered at my very slight paunch and couldn\rquote 
t drink her energy drink fast enough before she left to finish her \lquote normal daily ten mile run\rquote .  Good riddance.}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829 
\par }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid3228032 
\par I have nothing against skinny girls who can fit into a size 4 dress, or even a size 0 dress, but honestly this }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid16386871 overly thin }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid3228032 
gal looked like a bag of antlers.  I\rquote ve seen men and boys with more breasts than she had and her hip bones that were well displayed above her running shorts looked dangerously sharp.  She looked much too fragile to indulge in sex, }{\rtlch\fcs1 
\af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid16386871 besides;}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid3228032  she\rquote d probably always be too tired from her }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid16386871 other }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid3228032 workouts anyway.}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid3228032\charrsid6619939 
\par }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
\par ***************
\par 
\par 49.  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\ul\insrsid10246829\charrsid2835408 A Rebel without a Clue}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  \endash 
 There are always some people that just have to do things their own way.  She didn\rquote t just march to a different drummer}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid2835408 \'85}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
 she had her old own alternative band}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid16386871  playing inside her head}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 .  She arrived on roller skates\'85
 and I got the impression she lived in them pretty much}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid2835408  all of the time}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 .  She }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid2835408 
admitted she }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 wore them most of the hours of the day that she was vertical and she didn\rquote t seem to have a \lquote real job\rquote .  Not as many tats as 
{\*\xmlopen\xmlns2{\factoidname country-region}}{\*\xmlopen\xmlns2{\factoidname place}}Lydia{\*\xmlclose}{\*\xmlclose}, and she really wasn\rquote t as interesting as a person either.  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid2835408 
\par 
\par }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 She was angry and mad at the world and probably had been since she turned fifteen.  She\rquote 
d still probably be angry after she turned fifty.  She drank her tea and we both mumbled apologies.  No harm \endash  no foul.
\par 
\par ***********
\par 
\par 50.  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\ul\insrsid10246829\charrsid2835408 The Valley Girl}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  \endash  Ok, she wasn\rquote t quite }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\i\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid2835408 that}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  vapid, but the way she spoke at dinner constantly put my teeth on edge.  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid2835408 
She was a stereotypical blond ditz and s}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 he constantly said 'like', yet not once ever in the correct context.  You can tolerate teens that talk like that but by the time you\rquote 
re forty it just makes you sound retarded or drug addled.  I\rquote m not a grammar Nazi, but long ago some school English teacher should have tried to shake some sense into her.  Fer sure!
\par 
\par ***********
\par 
\par My staff was having much too much fun with my dating disasters by now.  They now posted the wagering board openly in the caf\'e9 so that even our customers could enter into the bidding.  The winning }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid16386871 jack
}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 pot }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid16386871 for picking the winning date number }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
was currently at over a thousand dollars!
\par 
\par ***********
\par 
\par 51.  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\ul\insrsid10246829\charrsid2835408 Ye Olde Towne Bicycle}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  \endash  This amazing woman was a walking and talking advertisement for eugenics}{
\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid2835408  or forced sterilization}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 .  She had, I kid you not, thirteen kids by nine different daddies\'85 several of the fathers were of course 
\lquote unknown\rquote .  She couldn\rquote t even keep track of all of the guys who had nailed her in }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid6184271 just }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
the last two weeks!  Apparently every guy in town had already screwed her except for me!  Talk about taking someone else\rquote s sloppy seconds!  She even joked about wanting to push out a few more crotch-fruit.  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid2835408 Not with my dick}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 !
\par 
\par I don\rquote t know why she was even selected as an option for a first date.  I checked her profile later, and she had no kids listed.  Why do they always pull that shit?  Do they think that men are that stupid that
 they can just flash some tits and our brains go to mush?  Well, sometimes\'85 but not this time.
\par 
\par ************
\par 
\par 52.  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\ul\insrsid10246829\charrsid2835408 The Sociological Experiment}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  \endash 
 In an odd sort of way I was kind of amused with what she did.  She set about to intentionally try to find and t
hen push any or all of my emotional buttons, just to see how I ticked and what it took to piss me off.  It was all a grand experiment on her part to see how much she could push me around and still get away with it.
\par 
\par Two can play that game and she left in tears less than forty-five seconds later.  I only commented to her that she looked a lot like her sister, with whom I had been having an affair with for nearly ten years and I now wanted to \lquote 
complete my collection\rquote , preferably with them both chained up in my secure }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid2835408 and soundproof }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 cellar dungeon.
\par 
\par ************
\par 
\par 53.  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\ul\insrsid10246829\charrsid2835408 My Plastic, Non-Fantastic Lover}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  \endash  This date can be summed up by just two words}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 
\ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid2835408  - }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 Fake titties.  Somewhere along the line she had installed some monstrous implants into her chest.  She now constant
ly wore low cut blouses so she could made sure that everyone could admire her new }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid2835408 augmented }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
tits properly.  She also complained about new lines appearing in her face and she asked me if she should also get butt implants?  I }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid16386871 sarcastically }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 told her she should wait until after I\rquote d fucked her current ass }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid16386871 first }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
to see if it needed more cushioning.  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid2835408 
\par 
\par }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 Amazingly, she took that as a compliment and handed me her house keys so I could }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid16386871 immediately }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 give it a proper }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid2835408 deep probing }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 inspection.  I did, and it really wasn\rquote t worth what I\rquote 
d anticipated.
\par 
\par I\rquote d never fucked a woman before with huge breast implants and I just couldn\rquote t resist the opportunity to broaden my education.  It was so not worth it.  She was like a limp dead body in bed and I had to do 99% of the work.  Fake tits aren
\rquote t nearly as delightful to feel, nuzzle, lick, }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid2835408 kiss, }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 bite and caress as real (}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid2835408 
natural }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 smaller) ones are.  Live and learn.
\par 
\par To end the affair, I mentioned that s}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid2835408 he\rquote d soon need another }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 facelift and she screamed bloody murder and booked the next fli
ght out to {\*\xmlopen\xmlns2{\factoidname place}}{\*\xmlopen\xmlns2{\factoidname City}}Beverly Hills{\*\xmlclose}, {\*\xmlopen\xmlns2{\factoidname State}}California{\*\xmlclose}{\*\xmlclose}.
\par 
\par **********
\par 
\par 54.  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\ul\insrsid10246829\charrsid2835408 Ms. Un-Domestic}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  \endash 
 There is a little bit of Elvis in every man (except for Michael J. Fox who is the Anti-Elvis, but that\rquote s someone else\rquote s long story) so accordingly, there ought to be a little bit of 
Julia Child in nearly every woman, except for this one.  I soon found out that she }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid2430597 could just barely}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  boil water let alone }{\rtlch\fcs1 
\af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid2430597 actually }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 cook anything.  She seemed to live on Raisin Bran cereal for meals in which she didn\rquote t eat out}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid2430597  or nuke a frozen dinner in the microwave}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 .  I swear, I\rquote 
ve seem seen more actually food in a male college dorm room refrigerator than what she had in hers.  Oh, and she didn\rquote t clean house either.
\par 
\par Ok, I\rquote m a decent cook and I didn\rquote t actually require a gourmet chef for a wife, but she had enough other minor faults and eccentricities that when they all added up all together they spelled long term trouble.  Her finances were a}{
\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid2430597 lso a}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  complete mess and most of her credit cards were close to maxed out.  
\par 
\par I\rquote d been in that sort of mess once before, no thanks.
\par 
\par **********
\par 
\par 55.  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\ul\insrsid10246829\charrsid2430597 The Vegan Zealot}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  \endash 
 Just the memory of her brings a shudder.  She was way beyond being just a vegetarian and she turned it into a complete lifestyle.   She wanted the dinner option, but it was a crime against nature with what the head chef had to do to prepare her a meal }{
\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid2430597 that would meet her insanely strict standards}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 .  Livin}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid2430597 g that way just makes finding }{
\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 restaurant}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid2430597 s}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
 we could both enjoy way too hard, and agreeing on anything that we could share together became practically impossible.  
\par 
\par I dropped her off at her home after our very awkward dinner, but first along the way I stopped at a Wendy\rquote s to buy myself a double-Baconator cheeseburger.  She was suitably horrified, much to my }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid2430597 
obviously }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 transparent }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid2430597 malicious }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 delight.
\par 
\par It's weird how many vegetarians hate salads, btw.
\par 
\par *********
\par 
\par 56. }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\ul\insrsid10246829\charrsid2430597 The Crazy Cat Lady}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  \endash  Ok, she thought we\rquote 
d be good together because we both loved cats.  I have one, an addled and not very bright but loveable longhair.  We went after coffee to go see her cats and I was astonished to find that she currently kept about thirty cats inside he}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 
\ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid2430597 r house\'85 peeew}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid6184271 !}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid2430597   The }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 c}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 
\ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid2430597 a}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 t}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid2430597  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
box odor was nearly overpowering and I coughed }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid2430597 nonstop }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 the entire five minutes I was there.
\par 
\par I then falsely admitted that I also kept a pair of large voracious Rottweiler dogs and her ardor for me cooled markedly.
\par 
\par ************
\par 
\par 57.  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\ul\insrsid10246829\charrsid2430597 The Animal Hater}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  \endash  She was pretty, witty and had a wonderful sense of humor\'85
 but she didn't like animals at all, either cats or dogs}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid2430597 ..}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 .}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid2430597 
 or fish, birds or turtles.}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939   My cat is really my very best friend. If you can't be around him without flinching or cringing, it'll never work.  
\par She made an ultimatum after the second date, either the c}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid2299250 at or me goes\'85 guess which went?}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
\par 
\par **********
\par 
\par 58.  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\ul\insrsid2430597 Ms. Work}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\ul\insrsid10246829\charrsid2430597 aholic}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid2430597  - }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 She postponed our first coffee date on two }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid2430597 prior }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 occasions due to having to stay late at work.  }{
\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid2430597 I understood that \endash  stuff happens.  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
The day that she finally showed up she brought along her work laptop and tried to multi-task her current marketing sales plan while we talked.
\par 
\par Too bad.  She was not bad looking but it was quite obvious where her priorities in life were.  I was always going to come at least a very distant second place in her thoughts, let alone her heart.
\par 
\par **********
\par 
\par 59.  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\ul\insrsid10246829\charrsid2430597 Ms. Priss}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  \endash  She demanded the dinner date, arrived th
ere nearly forty minutes late, and then decided that my favorite local Italian joint wasn\rquote t nearly good enough for her.  We compromised on a local up-market bistro where I overpaid for a pair of dinners that each barely looked adequate for being }{
\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid6184271 labeled as }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 an appetizer.  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid2430597 Then she picked at her food for over an hour.  }{\rtlch\fcs1 
\af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 She looke}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid2430597 d and acted high maintenance - }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\insrsid2430597\charrsid2430597 v}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\i\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid2430597 ery}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  high maintenance.  
\par 
\par Some guys look for that}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid2430597  sort of woman}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 . They are looking for a trophy }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid2430597 to be seen with 
}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 rather than a }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid2430597 real }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 relationship, but I don\rquote 
t have the temperament or the patience for that sort of thing.  
\par 
\par *************
\par 
\par 60.  The }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\ul\insrsid10246829\charrsid2430597 Former Stripper}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  \endash 
 Ordinarily a former stripper would be just a great one date dame, but she was so much fun to be around that I asked for seconds.  I took her out for a nice dinner and later that night she took me for a trip around the world in bed.
\par 
\par She had just enough issues and drama surrounding her that I (reluctantly) decided that she wasn\rquote t a good long-term fit\'85 so she then hooked me up with her roommate!
\par 
\par ************
\par 
\par 61.  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\ul\insrsid10246829\charrsid2430597 The Roommate}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  \endash  Her roommate was still a stripper\'85
 and was another great gal when out on a date.  I picked her up from her nightclub at 2:30 a.m. and then we chatted like old friends at a local coffee shop until dawn.  Then we went back to my 
place where she also took me all the way around the world in bed\'85 twice.
\par 
\par She loved her job (stripping) and intended to do it until her tits fell off, or she\rquote d made enough money to retire}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid6184271  in comfort for the rest of her life}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 .  She wasn\rquote t looking for any full time boyfriends and I didn\rquote t want everyone loo}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid2430597 king at my girlfriend}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 \rquote s bare tits and smoothly shaved cunt.  We decided to stay friends with benefits.
\par 
\par When I took her home the next afternoon, she, her roommate and I somehow all ended up back in bed together.
\par 
\par *************
\par 
\par 62.  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\ul\insrsid10246829\charrsid14617631 The Stripper + Her Roommate Together}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  \endash  Does this count as a second first date????
\par 
\par I made a note to myself afterwards that having a very bisexual girlfriend or wife would definitely keep things from ever being dull in the bedroom!
\par 
\par The Stripper soon got a better }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid14617631 job }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 offer }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid14617631 at}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  a bigger club in another city and both gals then moved out of town, but the going away party (with a few more of their female friends) ending up being legendary.  I was exhausted, but I had a stupid }{\rtlch\fcs1 
\af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid14617631 happy }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 smile stuck on my face for most of the next week.
\par 
\par **********
\par }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829 
\par }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid14617631 
\par }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid6184271 \page }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid14617631 CHAPTER THREE
\par 
\par I was getting annoyed and discouraged enough now to want to give up.  Farah told me to shut up the whining and grow a pair.  On the positive side, I was at least getting laid a whole lot more regularly than I had been.}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid6184271   The caf\'e9 betting pot was now over $5000.}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid14617631 
\par 
\par 
\par ********
\par }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid14617631\charrsid6619939 
\par }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 63.  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\ul\insrsid10246829\charrsid14617631 Madem}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\ul\insrsid14617631\charrsid14617631 oiselle LePew}{\rtlch\fcs1 
\af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid14617631  - This woman }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 who I briefly entertained for a coffee date wore so much heavy perfume that I nearly had to run for the bathroom to vomit.  She 
was also quite a bit overweight so I suspect that she was trying to cover over some body odor problem.  Frankly I had too much of a headache from the overpowering scent that I didn\rquote t much care what she was hiding.
\par 
\par ****************
\par 
\par 64.  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\ul\insrsid10246829\charrsid14617631 Ms. Constant Texter}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid14617631  (}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 or more Cell Phone Shenanigans #2}{
\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid14617631 )}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  \endash 
 Oddly, I found this even more annoying than constant chatting on the phone.  My coffee date spent the entire hour with her fingers under the table tapping away text messages and Tweeting to her friends.  Why she thought I\rquote d never notice this I
\rquote m just not sure.
\par 
\par I was annoyed enough about this to actually complain to her that this was extremely disrespectful to me.  She suggested that I mind my own business.  I then suggested that she \lquote lol\rquote  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid14617631 and 
\lquote C U L8R\rquote  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 to her twit Twitter friends elsewhere.}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829 
\par }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid2115889 
\par When she drove away a few minutes later she was still texting away on her phone while driving!}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid2115889\charrsid6619939 
\par }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
\par ***************
\par 
\par 65.  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\ul\insrsid10246829\charrsid14617631 Ms. Retread}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
 -  During the course of dinner with this ravishing redhead, she freely admitted that she hung out mostly with guys and that she probably had about two hundred guy \lquote friends\rquote .   Some }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid14617631 were}{
\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  ex\rquote s, some }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid2115889 we}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 re gay, some }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid2115889 we}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 re guys who }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid14617631 probably }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
wanted to date her but became a friend while waiting their turn... but most seemed to be just plain \lquote friends with benefits\rquote .  She was getting even more action without a #1 boyfriend than I was hanging out with the stripper }{\rtlch\fcs1 
\af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid14617631 gal}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 s!
\par 
\par }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid14617631 Whatever, n}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 o thanks.
\par 
\par ************
\par 
\par 66.  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\ul\insrsid10246829\charrsid14617631 Das Chancellor}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  \endash  Right from the start of our dinner date, \lquote The Rule Maker\rquote 
 began to review my life and, for my own good, began to set up some ground rules for me.  By the time the dessert had arrived I wasn\rquote t even sure if I would be permitted to go to work all }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid14617631 alone }{
\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 by myself}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid2115889  or take a shit without her express permission}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 .  Like }{
\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid14617631 The Commander}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  above, if I give this woman an inch then she would take a mile, or roll her panzers ri}{\rtlch\fcs1 
\af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid2115889 ght over the Polish border}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 .  She didn\rquote t like men that drank, so I made sure I kept the beers flowing.
\par 
\par I paid the check and told her to concentrate on raising cute little teacup poodles and clean up after their shit instead.
\par 
\par *********
\par 
\par 67.  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\ul\insrsid10246829\charrsid14617631 Ms. Smug Bitch}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  \endash 
 She complained nonstop, and with an insufferable smug look that I just would have loved to have slapped off of her face.  She }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid2115889 knew}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  that she was bitchy\'85 and she was proud of it.   She mentioned \lquote supply and demand\rquote  at least three times during dinner.   She was certain that there weren\rquote 
t enough good looking non-bitchy girls to go around, so she had \lquote take me as I am\rquote  written all over her smug intolerable face\'85 but }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid2115889 nearly }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 everything about }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid2115889 me}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  needed to change.
\par }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829 
\par }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid14617631 No matter how beautiful a woman is, there is always at least one man that won\rquote 
t put up with her shit.  If you look at listings of the fifty or one hundred most beautiful actresses and supermodels in the world, a pretty big chunk of them have been divorced already at least once}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid2115889 ..}{
\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid14617631 .}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid2115889  or even multiple times.}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid14617631 
  Someday even Sandra Bullock might be on the dating block once again and then she\rquote ll be }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid2115889 all }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid14617631 mine!
\par }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid14617631\charrsid6619939 
\par }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid14617631 As for this particular bitch - }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 Fuck you and the horse you rode in on!
\par 
\par *************
\par 
\par 68.  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\ul\insrsid10246829\charrsid3165689 The Criminal Mastermind}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  \endash  I wondered why she wanted my }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid2115889 home }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 address before she agreed to meet me for a coffee date.  This was so her boyfriend could try and rob my house while she knew it }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid3165689 would be}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  empty.  He couldn\rquote t }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid3165689 force}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
 my expensive door lock}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid3165689 s}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  and the windows all had }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid2115889 iron }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 burglar bars that deterred him until my }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid2115889 chronically nosy }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 next door neighbor }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 
\ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid3165689 saw him called the police}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 . 
\par 
\par They caught him }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid3165689 and since he had a long criminal record }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 he in turn ratted out his girlfriend}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid3165689  in exchange}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  for a reduced sentence.  Apparently the two of them had been running this scam for a long time.
\par 
\par **************
\par 
\par 69.  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\ul\insrsid10246829\charrsid3165689 The Stalking Crazy Ex}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  \endash 
 She was a frantic bundle of nerves during our dinner date, until I figured out that her crazy ex-husband was stalking her and }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid3165689 he }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
had even followed us here to the restaurant }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid3165689 that night }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid2115889 to spy }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
on our date.  I told the fucker to get lost and stay lost.  He went semi-nuts and started ranting about how they were \lquote }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid2115889 meant to be together}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 \rquote  and that }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid3165689 I}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  was the troublemaker in their way.  
\par 
\par My friends at the Italian restaurant had seen enough craziness and two large Mexican cooks appeared from the kitchen and they escorted the fellow out}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid3165689  the back door and}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  into a nice dark alley where they took out some of their own frustrations upon his soon helpless personage.
\par 
\par It\rquote s nice to have friends in high and low places.
\par 
\par Needless to say, the gal and I didn\rquote t hit it off.  She apparently }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid3165689 liked}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
 the stalking drama and the two of them }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid3165689 soon }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 reunited for the seventh or eighth time.
\par 
\par **********
\par 
\par 70.  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\ul\insrsid10246829\charrsid3165689 The Legal Eagle}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  \endash  This
 coffee date was with an attorney that had her own very successful practice.  She was quite a nice }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid3165689 and pretty lady}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
 but during the course of dinner, I discovered that her electricity had been cut off twice this year.  Not because she couldn't afford it but 
because she always forgot to pay it.  She was a smart girl, but she lived her life with blinders on focused only on big-picture items and never any of }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid3165689 life\rquote s}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  small details.  Apparently she had a staff that handled that sort of }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid2115889 mundane }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 stuff for her.
\par 
\par That level of absent-mindedness does not make for a good }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid3165689 life }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 partner.
\par 
\par ************
\par 
\par {\*\xmlopen\xmlns2{\factoidname PlaceName}}71.{\*\xmlclose}  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\ul\insrsid10246829\charrsid2115889 Church Lady #2}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  \endash  This harridan was }{
\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid3165689 seriously}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  hardcore Christian Taliban from a cult that disapproved of nearly }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid2115889 technological or social advancement of }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 the twentieth century, let alone the twenty-first.  She wore a granny style dress that buttoned up tight to her neck and didn
\rquote t expose an inch of }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid7893212 wickedly }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
sinful skin below her face.  She also apparently went to church at least three times a week and disapproved of nearly everything, such as }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid7893212 electricity, }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 mechanical works, science or even medicine as }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid7893212 all being absolutely }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 the work of Satan.
\par 
\par I then suggested to her that my Norse God Thor was far mightier than her wimpy Mediterranean }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid7893212 middle-eastern }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 God.  My God had a hammer
\'85 and hers got nailed onto a cross.  I laughed evilly while she tried to bludgeon the devil out of me with her }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid3165689 ever-present }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 bible.

\par 
\par ***********
\par 
\par }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid3165689 72.  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\ul\insrsid3165689 The High S}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\ul\insrsid3165689\charrsid3165689 chool C}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\i\f39\ul\insrsid10246829\charrsid3165689 ounselor}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  \endash  It was clearly obvious that she hated her job, if not her entire life so far}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid7893212 
 to date}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
.  When I asked her where she hoped to be in a year, she was pretty specific.  In a year she hoped to be married and raising kids at home (which implied that if she wasn't pregnant already, she fully expected to become so rather soon). 
\par 
\par Check, please}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid3165689 !}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
\par 
\par ***********
\par 
\par 73.  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\ul\insrsid10246829\charrsid3165689 The Doormat}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  \endash  Every single little thing about her screamed \lquote Danger Will Robinson}{\rtlch\fcs1 
\af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid3165689 !\rquote }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939   She had the crazy}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid3165689 \'85 }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 but she was smart and good enough at conversation to keep most of it hidden, until }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid7893212 for some reason the conversation turned to sex}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 .  She was then quite brutally frank and honest \endash  she liked it }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid7893212 very}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  }{
\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid7893212 hard and }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 rough.  So did I sometimes, but not as }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid7893212 hard and rough }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 
\ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 as she apparently did.  I think she was looking for a brutal Master to }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid7893212 completely }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
submit herself to.  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid3165689 
\par 
\par }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 Interesting, but not quite my cup of tea.  While I enjoy a woman who can be a bit submissive in bed, I\rquote m not looking for a human punching bag who }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid3165689 fondly dreams }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 about violent rape fantasies.
\par 
\par She was quite willing to submit herself to me as my abject}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid4001186 ly obedient}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  whimpering slave until I
 started mentioning my love for knives and blood, and how her black dress would look really nice on my bedroom floor, covered in blood, and marked Prosecution Exhibit #A.  
\par Apparently she did have a few remaining limitations.
\par 
\par **********
\par 
\par 74.  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\ul\insrsid10246829\charrsid4001186 Ms. Entrepreneur}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  \endash  Save yourself some time and expense and don\rquote 
t try to date any woman who runs her own mid to large sized business, because that\rquote s all she cares about or has time for.  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid7893212 If you do get involved, it becomes just }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 like being an}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid7893212 other}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  employee, except without the paycheck, benefits and fixed hours.
\par 
\par We talked a lot of shop over coffee, but neither of us was going to close our own business to help with our spouses, if we married.  Her work hours actually exceeded mine!  She took no vacations, and only rarely }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid7893212 took }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 any days or evenings off.  She often worked on the books }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid7893212 most nights }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 until midnight.  What was the point of dating?  She didn\rquote t have any room left in her life for a husband.}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829 
\par }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid4001186 
\par I told }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid2299250 her }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid4001186 that was ok; I had my Internet porn and World of Warcraft addictions to keep me busy.  I\rquote m not sure she realized that this wasn\rquote 
t quite a joke.}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid4001186\charrsid6619939 
\par }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
\par ***********
\par 
\par 75.  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\ul\insrsid10246829\charrsid4001186 The Skank}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  \endash 
 Like the slut I dated earlier who was the town bike, this particular skank was a girl who had slept with at least three of or more different guys in just the last week }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid4001186 alone }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 
\ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 without any protection.  Recently she thought she was pregnant and didn't know }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid4001186 or have a clue }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 who the father might be.  Then after }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid4001186 later }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
realizing she wasn't pregnant, she still continued being a whore and sleep slept with another five different guys the following week.}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid4001186   Really, she thought this story was funny!}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 
\ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid7893212   She also seemed to have the local Planned Parenthood abortion clinic on speed dial for handling her regular succession of \lquote unexpected incidents\rquote .}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
\par 
\par She didn\rquote t really date much, but she had her own stool at the bar of the local Holiday Inn where she spent almost every evening cruising for strangers for}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid4001186  yet another}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  one night stand.  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid7893212 She didn\rquote t really want a husband, she just seemed to want a different }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid9706337 nameless }{
\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid7893212 stranger to use her nearly every night to }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid9706337 give her pathetic life some validation.}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 

\par 
\par Ewwwww!
\par 
\par }\pard \ltrpar\qc \li0\ri0\widctlpar\wrapdefault\aspalpha\aspnum\faauto\adjustright\rin0\lin0\itap0\pararsid9706337 {\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 ***********
\par }\pard \ltrpar\ql \li0\ri0\widctlpar\wrapdefault\aspalpha\aspnum\faauto\adjustright\rin0\lin0\itap0\pararsid10246829 {\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
\par By now the local caf\'e9 betting was at a complete frenzy.  The jackpot was alleged up to over }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid9706337 ten}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  grand now.  Farah went and bought a 
\lquote Now Serving # xx\rquote  electronic sign so that my unbelievable string of dating failures could be clearly noted, even to cars passing by.
\par 
\par }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid9706337 I was }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 occasion}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid2299250 ally getting laid, but never }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 with a woman that I would want to spend the rest of my life with\'85 perfecting}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid9706337  the experience.  I was }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 becoming jumpier than a jackrabbit and getting increasingly quick to pull the trigger }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid9706337 early }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
to quit }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid4001186 on }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 bad date}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid4001186 s}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 , which kept coming in droves.
\par 
\par }\pard \ltrpar\qc \li0\ri0\widctlpar\wrapdefault\aspalpha\aspnum\faauto\adjustright\rin0\lin0\itap0\pararsid9706337 {\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 ***********
\par }\pard \ltrpar\ql \li0\ri0\widctlpar\wrapdefault\aspalpha\aspnum\faauto\adjustright\rin0\lin0\itap0\pararsid10246829 {\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
\par 76.  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\ul\insrsid10246829\charrsid4001186 The Skunk}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  \endash 
 When she kissed me goodnight her breath stunk worse than a feral mutt.  The rest of her hygiene didn\rquote t seem quite top notch either.}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid4001186   No, she wasn\rquote t particularly height/weight proportional.}
{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
\par 
\par **********
\par 
\par 77.  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\ul\insrsid10246829\charrsid4001186 The }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\ul\insrsid9706337 Nympho }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\ul\insrsid10246829\charrsid4001186 Slut}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid4001186  \endash  While o}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 n the second date that I had with a lady not much younger than I was, she took me home to show me some home movies.  These \lquote movies\rquote 
 were ones that she had made in the bedroom with her various guy and girl friends.  This was a bit disturbing for }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid9706337 an early}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
 date, but it was definitely hot!  
\par 
\par While showing off her homemade amateur porn collection we ended up screwing on the sofa.  Of course she taped }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid4001186 us}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
, as I realized later.  I found out later she had hundreds of different recordings, most now on DVD but many older ones }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid9706337 were }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
still on VHS.  Apparently }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid9706337 normal }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 sex wasn\rquote t real }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid4001186 and exciting enough }{
\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 for her unless she could record it and then later masturbate while watching it }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid9706337 over, }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 again and again.  
\par 
\par She wanted to fuck every single day}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid9706337 , at a minimum,}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  and admitted that she }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid9706337 also }{
\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 masturbated up to dozen times a day in addition.  I got the idea that she had a rotating stable of men tha
t attempted to attend to her near endless sexual needs.  I never saw any of them, but her bed sheets stayed pretty warm and }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid9706337 the men}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
 came and went in some sort of carefully choreographed stage production so that our paths didn\rquote t cross.
\par 
\par Like the Swinger gal, this babe of a lady wasn\rquote t quite ready to settle down into mundane married life just yet.  That didn\rquote 
t stop me from banging her like a cheap drum for the next month until I found a tactful way to end the relationship.  She then promised me a threesome with an old college roommate, but I\rquote d had enough of that from the Stripper ladies.
\par 
\par *********
\par 
\par 78.  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\ul\insrsid10246829\charrsid14293269 Ms. Bullshitter}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  \endash  She tried hard to pretend that she was smart\'85 but she wasn\rquote 
t.  Her only real knowledge of world affairs came from the National Enquirer.
\par 
\par While I really }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid14293269 did}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
 want a smart woman to be my wife, I could have possibly tolerated her room temperature IQ.  I just didn\rquote t like her well ingrained habit of making shit up right and left.
\par 
\par **********
\par 
\par 79.  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\ul\insrsid10246829\charrsid14293269 The Goddess}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  \endash  She was gorgeous and WAY out of my league \endash 
 she came across as being intelligent, articulate, well-e}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid14293269 ducated, and down to Earth.  She was a natural beauty and smoking h}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
ot looking with }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid9706337 a}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  luxurious, flowing red mane and }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid14293269 flawless pale }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 
\ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 alabaster skin.  She was a }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid9706337 senior }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 marketing executive from a t
op name brand corporation and she probably earned more in a week than I did in a year.
\par 
\par I wanted and absolutely lusted after her in every }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid14293269 possible }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 way.  I invited her right away to }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid9706337 a second }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 dinner }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid9706337 date }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
but she smiled and sadly shook her head no before kissing me on the cheek goodbye.  I didn\rquote t wash that side of my face for a week.
\par 
\par *********
\par 
\par 80.  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\ul\insrsid10246829\charrsid14293269 Ms. Calculating Drunk}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  \endash 
 This one was a circus from the very start.  She very most definitely wanted the dinner date, but she had arrived at the restaurant nearly a full hour early and made a good head start at the bar.  Her bar tab, which was already impressive, somehow }{
\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid14293269 now }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 magically appeared on}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid9706337 to}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  my dinner check.  I paid it, very grudgingly.  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid14293269 
\par 
\par }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 She }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid14293269 then }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
suggested that we move back to the bar for a few more drinks; I agreed, but I clearly used the phrase \lquote separate tabs\rquote  to the bartender.  My cunning and conniving alcoholic partner didn\rquote 
t seem to notice so I reminded the bartender (with a loud stage whisper) a few drinks later.  She still didn\rquote t notice.  I nursed three glasses of red wine while she took an extravagant tour of the world\rquote s top shelf liquors.  
\par 
\par I paid off the bartender with a pair of twenties for my own fifteen dollar tab and whispered that he might have a problem collecting the payment for my former }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid14293269 dinner }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 partner}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid2299250 \rquote }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
s bar tab.  Then I took a good long healthy break in the restroom that took at least half an hour.  Once I heard the loud yelling and screaming reach a fever pitch, I snuck a peak around the corner to watch the fun.  As I figu}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 
\ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid9706337 red, she }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 couldn\rquote t pay her tab.  Her three credit cards were all rejected}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid9706337  in turn}{\rtlch\fcs1 
\af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 , and one was so overdue for }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid9706337 late }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
payment that the credit card machine signaled the bartender to seize and keep that card.
\par 
\par Eventually the police were called and }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid14293269 Ms. Calculating Drunk}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  was hauled off to jail for theft, the non-payment of a }
{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid14834360 nearly five}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  hundred dollar bar bill.
\par 
\par }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid9706337 Being a softy, }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 I did }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid9706337 reluctantly }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 pay her tab }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid14834360 after }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
she had been hauled off to jail, but told my friend Antonio the restaurant owner to keep this payment on the down-low}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid14834360  and take her to court if necessary for her payment}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 .  I wanted to teach her a good lesson.  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid14293269 She did eventually pay, about nine months later.  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
Did she learn }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid14293269 anything from the experience}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 ?  Who knows\'85 I certainly didn\rquote t care.
\par 
\par ***********
\par 
\par 81.  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\ul\insrsid10246829\charrsid14293269 Drunky McSmokestack}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  \endash 
 Two wild uncontrollable drunks in a row?  Yep, it happened.  One of my cousins called me and said he set me up with an older friend of the }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid14834360 young }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 woman he was dating.  They had decided on a nice steak house and we all agreed that we would }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid14834360 all }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
\lquote go dutch\rquote , everyone on their own tabs.
\par 
\par They all arrived at the restaurant and my first impression was, \lquote She could be hot, if she didn\rquote t look like she came from a trailer park\rquote .  In an insane fit of gentlemanly behavior, I offered to cover her food and just like th
at we were off to the races.  She ordered three appetizers, all for herself, and one of the bigger steak meals and about five mixed drinks throughout the meal.  There was never a }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid14834360 moment when}{
\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  she wasn\rquote t smoking.
\par 
\par After the meal she wanted to go to the bar and started ordering more drinks; she was already pretty drunk by this point.  She }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid14834360 then }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
started loudly telling the strangers at the bar how she was would going to suck my balls right through my cock that night and mentioned, multiple times, how I wouldn\rquote t be able to walk the next day.  
\par 
\par The woman sitting at the table next to me said that it sounded like I was in for an \lquote awesome night\rquote  and laughed.  She was alone, prettier and sober.
\par 
\par \'93Not a chance in seven hells.  She might mistake my balls for martini olives and try to eat them\'85 and not in a fun, pleasant or delightful way!\'94 I said.  I then paid \lquote my\rquote  t}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid14293269 
ab and told the bartender that }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid14834360 my chain-smoking friend}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  was on her own}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid14293269 ,}{
\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  and then I left to go dancing with my new found friend. 
\par 
\par My cousin and his date got Drunky back home more or less in one piece.  He tried about a week later to set me up with her again and I laughed.
\par 
\par \'93Not only no, but Hell No!  She smokes non-stop, drinks like a fish, and has the }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid14293269 un}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 couth}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid14293269  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 mouth of a whore on nickel night\'94.  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid14293269 
\par 
\par }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 I honestly didn\rquote t know that she was right there in the next room listening!  Nor did I care! 
\par 
\par ***********
\par 
\par 82.  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\ul\insrsid10246829\charrsid14293269 Yet More Talking about Ex-boyfriends}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid14293269  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid14834360 \endash }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 
\ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  Unfortunately}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid14834360 ,}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  my sudden}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid14293269 
 dancing date from the steak}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 house didn\rquote t turn out as well as I had hoped.  She was still hung up on her ex and I had to hear }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid8543435 all 
}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 about it for the next four hours.
\par 
\par Don\rquote t bring up your ex on a first date, especially to tell us how you\rquote re still excellent friends. We }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid14834360 guys }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 hear, \lquote }
{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid14834360 I\rquote m still }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\insrsid14834360 way }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid14834360 into this dude, but yeah, you\rquote 
re, uh, pretty OK.}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 \rquote   This is one of my #1 dating peeves!  When the girl says she\rquote s still \lquote }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid14834360 
really good friends}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 \rquote  with her ex, she might as well be announcing to everyone that she\rquote d still fuck him}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid14834360 \'85}{\rtlch\fcs1 
\af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid14834360 i}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 f she isn\rquote t already.  And if she isn\rquote t now, she }{\rtlch\fcs1 
\af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid8543435 will}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  the first time you piss her off.  No second date.  
\par 
\par It\rquote s just cour}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid8543435 tesy.  Don\rquote t talk about your ex}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  or your boy-toys and I won\rquote 
t discuss my swinger date, or the amateur pornographer, or my parties with the pair of strippers.  Paybacks can be hell.
\par 
\par ************
\par 
\par 83.  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\ul\insrsid10246829\charrsid8543435 The AA Zealot}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  \endash  Let me re
mind everyone that any and all zealots are bad news.  This particular woman had just recently quit drinking, good for her\'85
 but my glass of wine was now highly insulting to her and she harangued me about the evils of alcohol long after it became interesting or amusing.  I asked her if she was late to an AA meeting and suggested she go there }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid8543435 and stay }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 until one of her sponsors taught her something about moderating ones own lifestyle and not starting any crusades that they couldn\rquote t win}{\rtlch\fcs1 
\af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid14834360 \'85 or at least wait until they had their one year of sobriety anniversary coin.}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
\par 
\par ***********
\par 
\par 84.  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\ul\insrsid14834360 Ms. }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\ul\insrsid10246829\charrsid8543435 Social Butterfly #1}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  \endash 
 She was actually far too busy to waste much time }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid13401802 drinking coffee with me.  She ra}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 n a complete nightly schedule of }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 
\ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid13401802 written }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 appointments scheduled often weeks in advance.   }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid13401802 Her Day-Timer calendar was her bible.  }{
\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 She volunteered for EVERYTHING at her church and }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid14834360 her kid\rquote s }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
school and was the \lquote go-to\rquote  woman for dozens of }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid13401802 community and civic }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 projects.  
\par 
\par Good riddance, if she wants to be a Queen Bee she can buzz around someone else\rquote s hive.
\par 
\par **************
\par 
\par 85.  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\ul\insrsid10246829\charrsid13401802 Sharpie McEyebrows}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  \endash 
 This coffee date was absolutely no fun at all.  She kept a constipated expression on her face the entire twenty minutes we met.  Her makeup was just well\'85 disturbing.  I suggested that she qu
it being a killjoy and instead she should go pluck her eyebrows into even further oblivion.  
\par 
\par I then discovered to my horror that she had received \lquote permanent makeup\rquote .  In fact, her eyebrows had been permanently laser removed and replaced with a less than 
realistic tattoo.  Same also for her overly bright eyeliner, cheek blush and lipstick.
\par 
\par Shudder.
\par 
\par *************
\par 
\par 86.  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\ul\insrsid10246829\charrsid13401802 Ms. Social Butterfly #2}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  \endash 
 I wondered if she had ever met the other Social Butterfly, if so they were undoubtedly hated rivals.  She also ran a complete nightly schedule of appointments scheduled often weeks in advance, }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid13401802 but }{
\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 with future planned dates.  Apparently, she couldn\rquote t ever tolerate being alone }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid7670758 by herself for even }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 a moment.
\par 
\par }\pard \ltrpar\ql \li0\ri0\widctlpar\wrapdefault\aspalpha\aspnum\faauto\adjustright\rin0\lin0\itap0\pararsid13401802 {\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 I quickly decided that the further away I kept myself from he
r, the better.  She was showing unhealthy interest in organizing my own schedule.  I told her that I was late for an amateur porno film shooting and went to }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid13401802 go }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 visit }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid13401802 The }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\insrsid7670758 Nympho }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid13401802 Slut}{
\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 .
\par }\pard \ltrpar\ql \li0\ri0\widctlpar\wrapdefault\aspalpha\aspnum\faauto\adjustright\rin0\lin0\itap0\pararsid10246829 {\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
\par ************
\par 
\par 87.  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\ul\insrsid10246829\charrsid13401802 Miss Princess}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  \endash  She wanted the dinner and the full ro
ses and violin treatment.  She even expected me to pull out her chair for her.  Her tiny little }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid7670758 evening sequined }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
clutch handbag contained only some lipstick}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid7670758 , a little compact of coverup}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
 and a handkerchief.   She acted like she was made out of porcelain, }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid13401802 but she}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  wasn\rquote 
t nearly as entertaining as a good old piece of antique {\*\xmlopen\xmlns2{\factoidname place}}{\*\xmlopen\xmlns2{\factoidname City}}Dresden{\*\xmlclose}{\*\xmlclose} }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid13401802 fine china}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 
\ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 .
\par 
\par My follow-up advice for ladies that constantly act helpless, just like an anti-bellum Southern Belle }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid13401802 straight }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
from a plantation, is that men will see you as somebody wh
o expects to be constantly taken care of.  That may be a turn-on for some guys but it's a big turn-off for many others, like me.  If you want a guy to constantly take care of you, don't be surprised when he doesn't treat you as an equal}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 
\ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid7670758  in the relationship}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 .
\par 
\par ***********
\par 
\par 88.  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\ul\insrsid10246829\charrsid13401802 Ms. Social Butterfly #3}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  \endash  Fuck!  How many of these sorts of women are out there?  This busy gal }{
\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid13401802 always }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid7670758 spends most of her evenings}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  out with her girlfriends.  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 
\ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid7670758 A couple of drinks after work, b}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 ridge}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid7670758  night}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 , movie}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid7670758  night}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 , }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid7670758 pottery class night
, and art night at a gallery or museum, }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 and }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid7670758 of course long }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
Friday nigh}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid13401802 ts at their favorite bar.  I}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 t }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid13401802 came as }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 no surprise}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid13401802  at all however }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 that }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\i\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid7670758 my}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid7670758 usual }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
one night a week out with the guys was going to be a big no-no for her.  Go figure}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid13401802 ..}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 .}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid13401802  what was good for goose was apparently not at all good for the gander.}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939   }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid13401802 
\par 
\par It was even less of a surprise to learn that }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\insrsid13401802\charrsid7670758 a}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid7670758 ll}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  of her friends h}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid7670758 ad multiple }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 divorces between them.}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid1000504   }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 Unspoken was the impression that her own previous three failed marriages had }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid1000504 resulted }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 
\ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 because she spent more time and emotional energy on her friends }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid1000504 than on}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  her husband.  }
{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid1000504 
\par 
\par }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 Also, any group of women that hit the same bar every single Friday night are usually looking for more than some bar snacks and to pound down a few }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid7670758 glasses of cheap Chardonnay}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 .  They apparently wanted the }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid7670758 right}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  to have a little fling on occasion whenever the mood suited them.
\par 
\par }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid1000504 Obviously this was t}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
rouble just waiting to happen.  I decided to go home and add to my collection of Internet porn and wrangled a last second date with Rosie Palm and her four sisters\'85}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid1000504  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\i\f39\insrsid1000504\charrsid1000504 The }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\insrsid7670758 Nympho }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\insrsid1000504\charrsid1000504 Slut}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid1000504  and I were finally }{
\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid7670758 on the outs after I discovered she\rquote d posted some of our sex videos on YouPorn.}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
\par 
\par ***********
\par 
\par 89.  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\ul\insrsid10246829\charrsid1000504 Ms. Feminist Zealot}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  \endash  Have I mentioned how much I hate }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\i\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid1000504 all}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  zealots?  This one was a radical liberal who blamed me as a man and my lifestyle f}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid1000504 
or destroying the entire planet\'85}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  but for some reason she was convinced she could save me!  She also exhibited extreme hardcore-feminist leanings}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid7670758  that were going to be awfully hard to live with}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 .   She left the dinner 
table fast when I suggested the greatest punch ever thrown in professional boxing was when Mike Tyson beat-up his first wife.  That was really cruel, but she was prodding }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid1000504 on }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 
\ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 my last nerve.
\par 
\par Equal}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid7670758 ity in a relationship}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  is fine.  One partner being just a little more equal than the other sucks, and I\rquote 
m not dealing with that ever again.
\par 
\par **********
\par 
\par 90.  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\ul\insrsid10246829\charrsid1000504 Ms. Social Butterfly #4}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  \endash  Where do all of these desperately }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid1000504 and pathetically }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 lonely women come from?  This one }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid7670758 usually spend}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  two to three nights a week out doing the elite social scene with the top movers and shakers of the city.  Boy was she ever disappointed that I wasn\rquote t a millionaire and didn\rquote t even have a boat}{
\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid1000504 , let alone a yacht}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 .
\par 
\par The less I say about her cult worship of certain far, far right wing fringe politicians, the better.  Also her }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid1000504 rabid }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
gushing about her religious cult at the prestigious {\*\xmlopen\xmlns2{\factoidname place}}{\*\xmlopen\xmlns2{\factoidname PlaceName}}First{\*\xmlclose} {\*\xmlopen\xmlns2{\factoidname PlaceName}}Baptist{\*\xmlclose} {\*\xmlopen\xmlns2{\factoidname 
PlaceType}}Church{\*\xmlclose}{\*\xmlclose} nearly qualified her for }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid1000504 the }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 Zealot of t}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid1000504 
he Y}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 ear}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid1000504  award}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 \'85
 until I met a woman even crazier a few weeks later on.
\par 
\par ***********
\par 
\par 91.  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\ul\insrsid10246829\charrsid1000504 The Freak}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  \endash  This poor gal actually made }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\i\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid13974507 The Doormat}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  look sane and well-adjusted.  Really! 
\par 
\par Trust me.  I don\rquote t want to hear about your love for autoerotic sexual role-playing games, like being fake raped and nearly (but not quite) strangled to death with your own pantyho
se.  The fact that you need sharp intense pain in order to achieve orgasm is not first date material, even for me!  
\par 
\par I decided to reuse the line about her bloody dress being marked Exhibit A}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid13974507  on my bedroom floor, but i}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 t didn\rquote 
t frighten her off in the least.  I }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid1000504 then }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 ran for Farah\rquote s help in getting this poor woman out of our caf\'e9
 and well out of my life.
\par 
\par Alarmingly, I had at least three friends push me rather hard for her name and phone number.  I}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid13974507  didn\rquote t give it to them\'85 I }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
really didn\rquote t want to hear }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid1000504 about }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid13974507 any}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid13974507 more}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  details of }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid13974507 her extreme}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  }{\rtlch\fcs1 
\af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid13974507 sado-masochistic }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 sex life}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid13974507 style}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 .
\par 
\par **********
\par 
\par 92.  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\ul\insrsid10246829\charrsid1000504 The Professional Paranoid}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  \endash 
 She was suspicious of everything I offered her at our coffee date and had Farah }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid1000504 replace}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  her coffee often so that I couldn\rquote t }{
\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid13974507 secretly }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 drug }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid1000504 her and then \lquote date rape\rquote  her.  What a total nutcase!}{
\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
\par 
\par The \lquote run screaming for the hills moment\rquote  was when she commented that she kne}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid1000504 w a lot of people who }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid13974507 were}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid1000504  kiddy-}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 diddlers.  In fact, }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid1000504 every}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  man she meet seem}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid13974507 ed}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  to turn out to be one.   I didn\rquote t like the way she then l
ooked at me.  It had \lquote YOU'RE NEXT\rquote  written all over her.
\par 
\par I told her to go away, that she was much too old for me\'85 but could I see some }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid13974507 cute }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 bathtub pictures of her grandchildren?
\par 
\par Yes, she called the police on me, but I let Farah straighten them out.  They already had her on their \lquote rubber room\rquote  list, as she phoned in}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid1000504  several complaints about kiddy-}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 
\ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 diddlers }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid1000504 running amok on the streets }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
each and every day.  Not one of her complaints had ever been even remotely substantiated.
\par 
\par The cops loved our coffee and pastries and within a week the local district }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid1000504 station }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
officers were coming in every morning and often late at night for their }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid13974507 caffeine}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
 and sugar fixes.  The safest business in the world is one that quickly gets the reputation of being a cop hangout, even when they\rquote re out of uniform.  One idiot tried to stick up Farah\rquote s }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid13974507 
new }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 husband several months later late one night and three off duty cops quickly had him covered.}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid1000504   No one ever tried it again.}{
\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
\par 
\par 
\par **********
\par 
\par 93.  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\ul\insrsid10246829\charrsid1000504 Ms. Oblivious #2}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  \endash  Like the original Ms. Obliviou
s, this gal was darned near utterly clueless about anything around her... and nearly a hundred pounds overweight for good measure.  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid1000504 She imagined herself as some sort of fairy princess, and l}{\rtlch\fcs1 
\af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 ike the }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid1000504 Princess}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 , she wanted the full treatment }{\rtlch\fcs1 
\af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid3686653 with nothing but the very best and lots of attention.  But w}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
hen she got up to powder her nose and knocked the chair over with her huge ass, she never noticed that I leaped and caught it\'85 or pushed it back in later for her massive backside.}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid3686653 
  Nor did she notice when her fat rump bashed into a dozen other chairs both to and from the restroom.}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829 
\par }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid3686653 
\par If she noticed anything that occurred in life past her nose, I seriously doubted it.  She certainly didn\rquote t notice the dinner check and pointedly looked away when I started to loudly and obviously calculate a tip}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid13974507  to give our waiter, whom she\rquote d abused the entire dinner}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid3686653 .}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid3686653\charrsid6619939 
\par }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
\par *********
\par 
\par 94.  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\ul\insrsid10246829\charrsid3686653 The Compleat Zealot}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  \endash  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid3686653 
Yes, the archaic spelling is intentional.  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 This zealot took the absolute top prize for being fift}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid3686653 y pounds of crazy in just a ten-}{
\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 pound}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid3686653  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
bag.  She was so horrifying that it was just like a snake mesmerizing a mouse, I just couldn\rquote t look away.  She was also quite as cute as a button and had a pert ass that I was longing to sodomize.
\par 
\par Over dinner, drinks and two rounds of des}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid2299250 s}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 ert}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid13974507 s}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 , she tried to convert me at the first date to become a vegetarian, bicycle pedaling, democrat, and attend church with h}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid3686653 er on Saturday at her wacko new-}{\rtlch\fcs1 
\af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 age cult church}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid3686653  where they talked to crystals}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 .
\par 
\par She was such a magnificent train-wreck that it really hurt my conscience to inform her that I was a meat gobbling, truck polluting, dyed in the wool political mod}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid3686653 erate (everyone hates us).  When that didn
\rquote t faze her I t}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 hen complained that the Catholic }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid3686653\charrsid6619939 Church}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  had really gone off the rails }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid13974507 into heresy }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 since the unfortunate }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid3686653 reform}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 s of Vatican II.
\par 
\par }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid3686653 I hinted}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid13974507 ,}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid3686653  loudly}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid13974507 ,}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid3686653  that I\rquote d }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 be more than willing to take her back to my place to discuss peace, love, mutual understanding\'85
 and a lot more love.  Preferably physical.  She smiled but said no, and her pert ass wiggled off un-buggered.
\par 
\par **********
\par 
\par 95.  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\ul\insrsid10246829\charrsid3686653 Ms. Indian Brave on the Warpath}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  \endash 
 If just a little makeup really brings out the beauty of a woman, then a ton of makeup donned with a trowel must be even better, right?  Not hardly.  She wore so much makeup that I have no idea what she ac
tually looked like underneath.  She proudly stated that it took her two hours to do her \lquote normal\rquote  everyday war paint}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid3686653  and an hour every night to remove it}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 .  
\par 
\par Way too high maintenance.
\par 
\par **********
\par 
\par 96.  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\ul\insrsid10246829\charrsid3686653 Ms. Toilet Mouth}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  \endash  Hey, I admit that I often swear like a sailor and don\rquote 
t mind a lady with a bit of an earthy mouth who can talk }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid3686653 dirty to me }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 in the bedroom, but not }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid3686653 every other word out of her mouth, and not }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 on a first date\'85 and not }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid3686653 loudly }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 in a family caf\'e9.}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829 
\par }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid3686653 
\par Since she clearly knew what the word \lquote fuck\rquote  meant (she\rquote d used it at least once a minute our entire date), I suggested to her that we quit the fucking pussyfooting and go back to my place to }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid84737 do some real }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid3686653 fuck}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid84737 ing}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid3686653 .}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid1396351 
  Not surprisingly, this offended her and she slapped my face and left.}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid3686653 
\par }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid1396351 
\par Honestly I was a bit disappointed that she didn\rquote t say \lquote }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\insrsid1396351\charrsid84737 sure, let\rquote s ball!}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid1396351 \rquote   She wasn\rquote 
t that much of a looker and didn\rquote t possess any long term qualities suitable to a relationship, I did had to admit that I was curious to find out how nasty I could get her talk in bed.}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid1396351\charrsid6619939 
\par }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
\par ***********
\par 
\par 97.  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\ul\insrsid10246829\charrsid1396351 The Compulsive Hoarder}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  \endash  Ok, I\rquote 
m pretty bad about buying and saving old junk.  My shop is full of it and my house used to be full of it.  Don\rquote t even ask about my still over-stuffed garage.  But she was even worse than I was.  She }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid2299250 kept all of her trash}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  saved up in bags }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid1396351 in the kitchen }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 by the back door for weeks}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid84737 , if not months}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
.  There were even more, older, full trash bags sitting against the house outside.  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid1396351 Just in case she decided she need}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid84737 ed}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid1396351  to retrieve something back from the rubbish.
\par 
\par }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 It wouldn\rquote t have surprised me in the least if there was a long dead relative still buried under heaps of trash somewhere in that house.  Cringe.
\par 
\par ***********
\par 
\par 98.  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\ul\insrsid10246829\charrsid1396351 Not Being Jane Austin}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  \endash  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid1396351 I couldn\rquote 
t believe it when she said that }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 I simply failed to measure up because I wasn\rquote t }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid84737 a proper }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 Mr. Darcy in the flesh.  Just where did I put those knee-breeches}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid1396351  and long waistcoat}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
?  The fact that I could in fact recite from memory the entire plot of Jane Austin\rquote s \lquote Persuasion\rquote  unfortunately didn\rquote t redeem me in her eyes in the slightest.
\par 
\par She really got up my nose, so I asked her when I needed to drop her back at Refuge Pines, a noted local private bughouse for the terminally demented.
\par 
\par ************
\par 
\par 99.  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\ul\insrsid10246829\charrsid1396351 The Sports Widower}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  \endash  I knew she liked sports\'85 a lot}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid1396351 , but it is not a religion for me.  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 I\rquote m rather partial to baseball and I don\rquote t mind watching our local pro football team lose (usually rather badly)}{
\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid84737  but my life doesn\rquote t revolve around professional sports}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 .  Instead of }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid1396351 a }{
\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 dinner}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid1396351  date}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 , she requested a date at the }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 
\ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid1396351 local }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 ballpark.  Well, that night at the ballpark ended up costing more than most dinner dates and then at the }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid1396351 very }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 end of the date she announced that she was a confirmed Lesbian.  
\par 
\par Damn it!  She had scammed me!  All she had }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid1396351 really}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  wanted was to score some nice tickets to see the g
ame at someone else\rquote s expense.}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid1396351   I did a little research and found that she had pulled this scam on at least three other gents at our dating service.  We }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid84737 compared notes and then }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid1396351 filed complaints and she was kicked out of the }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid84737 dating }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid1396351 
service, but I still see profiles very similar to hers }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid84737 still }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid1396351 running on Craigslist.  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\insrsid1396351\charrsid84737 
Caveat Emptor}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid1972025 .}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
\par 
\par }\pard \ltrpar\qc \li0\ri0\widctlpar\wrapdefault\aspalpha\aspnum\faauto\adjustright\rin0\lin0\itap0\pararsid84737 {\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 ************
\par }\pard \ltrpar\ql \li0\ri0\widctlpar\wrapdefault\aspalpha\aspnum\faauto\adjustright\rin0\lin0\itap0\pararsid10246829 {\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829 
\par }\pard \ltrpar\ql \li0\ri0\widctlpar\wrapdefault\aspalpha\aspnum\faauto\adjustright\rin0\lin0\itap0\pararsid1972025 {\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid1972025\charrsid6619939 I was }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid1972025 now }{
\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid1972025\charrsid6619939 way more than just seriously pissed!
\par 
\par }\pard \ltrpar\ql \li0\ri0\widctlpar\wrapdefault\aspalpha\aspnum\faauto\adjustright\rin0\lin0\itap0\pararsid10246829 {\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 That was the last straw, I raged at everyone who would listen}{
\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid84737 !}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939   The doomsday clock }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid1972025 on the wall }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 was going to stay stuck at }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid1972025 \lquote Now Serving #100\rquote }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  because I was done with dating.
\par 
\par Done \endash  finished \endash  fini!
\par 
\par I was over and done with dating }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid1972025 - }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
for good.  Frankly by this point in my life, I would have been hard pressed to thing think of anything nice to say about a woman, let alone select any of their allegedly fair sex for a long and very meaningful relationship.
\par No More!
\par }\pard \ltrpar\qc \li0\ri0\widctlpar\wrapdefault\aspalpha\aspnum\faauto\adjustright\rin0\lin0\itap0\pararsid84737 {\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
\par *************
\par }\pard \ltrpar\ql \li0\ri0\widctlpar\wrapdefault\aspalpha\aspnum\faauto\adjustright\rin0\lin0\itap0\pararsid10246829 {\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
\par This attitude lasted for about a week, and then the love of my life walked into our caf\'e9.   }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid1972025 
\par 
\par }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 I was working one evening at cleaning up some old Chinese jade snuff bottles to make them ready for }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid84737 display in a showcase}{\rtlch\fcs1 
\af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  when I looked up suddenly into the eyes of sheer perfection.
\par 
\par \'93Farah says that you\rquote ve gone off women\'85 for good.  Are you going to go bat for the other team now and chase after buff hairless pool boys?  You do tend to look at women\rquote s asses more than their tits.\'94  The divine creature asked.

\par 
\par I stuck my tongue out at her and blatted.
\par 
\par \'93Good stout and brave fellow!  Once more into the breech!  Besides, I\rquote ve got a few hundred dollars invested in your dating pool, so get off your cute tight ass and }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid1972025 go }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 
\ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 make some romance!\'94
\par 
\par \'93Bah!  The world, or at least this section of it, is remarkably short of suitable, attractive women of indeterminate years looking for a sane, reasonably normal and fairly well-
adjusted relationship.  Beside, my friend Antonio at my favorite Italian restaurant says he\rquote s suffered enough property damage and has promised to chuck the next woman I bring there into a dumpster.\'94
\par 
\par \'93That would be a terrible shame, becau}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid1972025 se Tony makes my chicken piccat}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
a just exactly the way I like it and he has never once complained about my dining habits.  Tonight I\rquote m in a lasagna mood though.  Now see what you\rquote ve done!  You started to talk about food in front of a hungry woman and now I\rquote 
m starving!  It\rquote s all }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid84737 your}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  entire fault\'85 }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid84737 but }{\rtlch\fcs1 
\af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 to make up for it,}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid1972025  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
I will allow you to make take me out to dinner.  Are you ready to go?  Besides I think that snuff bottle is actually soapstone and no amount of polishing is going to improve it.  It }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid84737 also }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 
\ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 looks like a later Victorian }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid84737 era }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 reproduction as well, but I\rquote m sure you}{
\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid84737 \rquote d}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  already noticed that.\'94
\par 
\par I hadn\rquote t.  That was worth the price of dinner }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid1972025 and then some!}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829 
\par }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid1972025 
\par **********}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid1972025\charrsid6619939 
\par }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
\par Our dinner date would have been a dream, except for the odd disfunctionality of the entire experience.  Antonio not only was delighted to see me enter his restaurant with a new date, but he f}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid84737 
ixed up a special table for us }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 with his best glassware and his finest Italian wine!  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid1972025 
\par 
\par }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 I should have smelled the rat right from the start!
\par 
\par By dessert, when he declined to offer me the bill for payment of this magnificent feast, I knew the fix was in\'85 especially when Antonio came over to give his niece a big hug and kiss.  I\rquote d been played}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid1972025  and}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  \lquote scammed again\rquote  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid1972025 - }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
but in a delightfully }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid1972025 different and }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 nice sort of way.  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid1972025 
\par 
\par Besides, }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 I\rquote d already been in head over heels in love with her since the garlic bread first arrived}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid1972025 
 at our table, long before our lasagnas}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid1338133  arrived}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 .
\par 
\par Even dressed casually, she was a creature of beauty and elegance.  She was cultured and very well educated but never wore it like a suit of armor.  Her father, Antonio\rquote s brother}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid1972025 ,}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 
\ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  was in banking and her mother had been a {\*\xmlopen\xmlns2{\factoidname place}}{\*\xmlopen\xmlns2{\factoidname City}}Charleston{\*\xmlclose}, {\*\xmlopen\xmlns2{\factoidname State}}SC{\*\xmlclose}
{\*\xmlclose} socialite.  Obviously she had money, but she didn\rquote t flaunt it.  She had many hobbies and interests, including antiques and owned and operate}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid1972025 d her own antiquarian }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 
\ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 bookstore.  It was also quite clear that she had a wild sense of humor, a }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid1972025\charrsid6619939 natural}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  love of adventure and fun, and a perhaps a rather checkered past of intimate wildness}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid1338133  with very unsuitable men, like me}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 .
\par 
\par \'93So,\'94 She asked me with a laugh, \'93what exactly were your qualifications for your future intended girlfriend?\'94
\par 
\par \'93Oh, the usual small little things that every man looks for.  A bisexual gourmet chef from a filthy rich family that looks good in stiletto heels and a set of pearls\'85 and nothing else, and enjoys lots of quality time spent with her lord and master
\'85 mostly on her knees or all fours.  Just the usual}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid1972025  tiny things necessary for domestic bliss}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 .\'94
\par 
\par \'93Oh dear, I\rquote m }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid1972025 badly}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  over-qualified then.  I loved to diddle my best girlfriend }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 
\ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid1972025 at}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  my private }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid1338133 finishing}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
 school and my college roommates and I shared many wonderful hours with a rather special double-ended dildo on weekends when we couldn\rquote t get otherwise laid}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid1972025  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid1338133 by prep school boys or outlaw bikers }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid1972025 from ear to ear}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 .  My mother did send me to a famous cooking school in 
{\*\xmlopen\xmlns2{\factoidname place}}{\*\xmlopen\xmlns2{\factoidname State}}Connecticut{\*\xmlclose}{\*\xmlclose} after college and I\rquote ve learned some really nasty fun things that can be done with really good chocolate mousse in bed while wearing 
}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid1972025 seven inch pumps}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 , but it makes the pearls hard to clean afterwards.\'94
\par 
\par \'93I defer to your superior expertise then.  Your resume for the very vacant position seems quite in order!\'94  I laughed.
\par 
\par \'93Quite,\'94 She agreed, \'93but that\rquote s not the point.  Now we\rquote ll see if you match }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid14842813 my}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
 currently current qualifications... but on the other hand, I do }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid14842813 also have an opening for a swarthy pool }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 boy, if all else fails.\'94

\par 
\par }\pard \ltrpar\qc \li0\ri0\widctlpar\wrapdefault\aspalpha\aspnum\faauto\adjustright\rin0\lin0\itap0\pararsid1338133 {\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
\par ***********
\par }\pard \ltrpar\ql \li0\ri0\widctlpar\wrapdefault\aspalpha\aspnum\faauto\adjustright\rin0\lin0\itap0\pararsid10246829 {\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
\par For the next two weeks she played the game of \lquote hard to get\rquote  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid14842813 down }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
to perfection.  She knew just how to keep me stimulated and primed for the chase after her.  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid14842813 I\rquote d call her pleading for another date but she\rquote d always put me off\'85
 but in a very carefully calculated sort of way that sounded \lquote reasonable\rquote  and not too ego deflating.  I\rquote d grumble and be an utter bear to deal with a}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid1338133 t}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid14842813  work for a few days and then call her up to try my fortune again\'85 and }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid1338133 then later }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid14842813 yet again.}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
\par 
\par Finally when I got that second date, it was just as good.  She dolled herself up a bit and wore her lovely long rusty brown hair up into ringlets that teased the bare shoulders of her spaghetti strap dress.  }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid14842813 She didn\rquote t wear the }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid1338133 full }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid14842813 seven inch heels, but she carried herself like a goddess in the more mundane four inch ones.  }{
\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 This dinner at a nice seafood restaurant I was allowed to pick up the tab, but she offered to pay the tip.  I declined to let her}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid14842813 
, this time}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 .
\par 
\par }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid14842813 Getting that }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 third date}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid14842813  took me a}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid1338133 nother two}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid14842813  full weeks}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid1338133  of near pleading effort}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid14842813 
, but it was worth every moment of the wait.  S}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 he wore an utterly amazing silk halter gown that was nearly backless almost }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid1338133 down }{
\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 to her ass, and }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid14842813 it }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 showed off the glories of her flawless }{
\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid1338133 front }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 cleavage to perfection.  I\rquote m still not entirely certain how she kept all of the important parts of herself covered.  }{
\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid14842813 I spent the evening agog at her splendor and probably spilled about half of my dinner into my lap}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid1338133  because I too agog with wonder to eat or chew properly}{
\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid14842813 .
\par 
\par }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 She grabbed the dinner bill before I even had a chance to look at it and gave me a beady-eyed stare that confirmed that tonight was \lquote her treat\rquote .}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 
\ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid14842813   I offered to cover the tip and she accepted.}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
\par 
\par It was hard, but I acted the perfect gentleman all night and didn\rquote 
t ravish her right on the table at our restaurant, or later when we went dancing.  The way her ass cheeks and tits moved under that thin dress guaranteed that she was the center of attention all night long\'85 but she only had eyes for me!  It
 was also quite clear that she wasn\rquote t wearing anything at all under}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid1338133 neath}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  that dress!}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid10246829 
\par }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid14842813 
\par }\pard \ltrpar\ql \li0\ri0\widctlpar\wrapdefault\aspalpha\aspnum\faauto\adjustright\rin0\lin0\itap0\pararsid14842813 {\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid14842813\charrsid6619939 The smile on her face }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid14842813 all of that magical }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid14842813\charrsid6619939 evening told a different sort of story}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid1338133  this time}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid14842813\charrsid6619939 , namely \lquote play your cards right and you\rquote ll see this dress again\'85 right on your bedroom floor.\rquote   
\par 
\par }\pard \ltrpar\ql \li0\ri0\widctlpar\wrapdefault\aspalpha\aspnum\faauto\adjustright\rin0\lin0\itap0\pararsid10246829 {\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 Yes, that dress }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\i\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid14842813 did}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  end up on my bedroom floor\'85 and once again the next Saturday night on her bedroom floor, as I shared her bed }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid14842813 and lovely house }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 for the weekend.  Yes, she really could cook and she was also an utterly delightful and delicious }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid1338133 
nasty }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 whore in the bedroom!  It went absolutely wi}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid2299250 thout saying that she was }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 also }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid2299250 every }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 inch the lady, when her clothes were on.
\par 
\par No!  I\rquote m not going to give you all of the extremely naughty details!  She was now my fianc\'e9e and a real proper gentlemen }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \i\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid14842813 never}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  discusses the rather abundant }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid14842813 charms }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 and }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid14842813 
unusually }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 creative sex}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid14842813 ual proclivities and inclinations}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
 of his wife, or wife-to-be.
\par 
\par The hook was in\'85 }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid14842813 fast hard and }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 tight. }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid14842813 
\par 
\par }\pard \ltrpar\qc \li0\ri0\widctlpar\wrapdefault\aspalpha\aspnum\faauto\adjustright\rin0\lin0\itap0\pararsid1338133 {\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid14842813 ************
\par }\pard \ltrpar\ql \li0\ri0\widctlpar\wrapdefault\aspalpha\aspnum\faauto\adjustright\rin0\lin0\itap0\pararsid10246829 {\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid14842813 
\par It didn\rquote t take long for her to }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 relocate her bookstore and merge it painless}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid4223513 ly and s}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 moothly into the }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid4223513 caf\'e9 }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 operation}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid4223513 
 as an equal third partner.  S}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 oon her own wonderful tastes for }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid4223513 acquiring new }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 beautiful antique items began to improve my own}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid4223513  stock}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
.  We began to constantly upgrade my old stock with nicer and more expensive items and our profits only further increased.}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid1338133   Since Ankar hadn\rquote 
t yet rented out the other half of the retail space next to us, we made a sweetheart of a deal to rent out the extra 4000 sqf and the caf\'e9 operation doubled in size, and soon also nearly doubled our sales.}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
\par 
\par Nearly immediately, I began to wonder how I functioned at all without her!}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829 
\par }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid1792435 
\par 
\par }\pard \ltrpar\qc \li0\ri0\widctlpar\wrapdefault\aspalpha\aspnum\faauto\adjustright\rin0\lin0\itap0\pararsid1792435 {\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid1792435 *********************
\par }\pard \ltrpar\ql \li0\ri0\widctlpar\wrapdefault\aspalpha\aspnum\faauto\adjustright\rin0\lin0\itap0\pararsid10246829 {\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid4223513 
\par }\pard \ltrpar\ql \li0\ri0\widctlpar\wrapdefault\aspalpha\aspnum\faauto\adjustright\rin0\lin0\itap0\pararsid4223513 {\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid4223513 There was some debate about her entitlement }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid1792435 for her claim of winning the contest jackpot of nearly ten thousand dollars with her lucky number of 100, }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid4223513 
since she was now a partner in the business, but once she announced that the entire contest }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid1792435 award}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid4223513 
 would be blown on a fancy party for everyone who had entered the contest pool, customers included, there were certainly no lingering hard feelings.}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid4223513\charrsid6619939 
\par 
\par }\pard \ltrpar\ql \li0\ri0\widctlpar\wrapdefault\aspalpha\aspnum\faauto\adjustright\rin0\lin0\itap0\pararsid10246829 {\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
\par }\pard \ltrpar\qc \li0\ri0\widctlpar\wrapdefault\aspalpha\aspnum\faauto\adjustright\rin0\lin0\itap0\pararsid1792435 {\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 ******************
\par }\pard \ltrpar\ql \li0\ri0\widctlpar\wrapdefault\aspalpha\aspnum\faauto\adjustright\rin0\lin0\itap0\pararsid10246829 {\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
\par On our wedding night, I learned her last terrible secret.  That she had heard about what a great guy I was from Antonio, her uncle, and }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid4223513 she }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 had }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid4223513 clandestinely watched a few of my later horrific dinner dates from }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid1792435 back in }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid4223513 the kitchen.  Sizing up my favorable qualities, she had }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 deliberately gone to my caf\'e9
 and placed her bet on the very next available date number, number one hundred and set out to }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid4223513 deliberately conquer me right fr}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 
om the very start!
\par }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829 
\par }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 In penance, I ordered down to room service for some chocolate mousse and she }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid4223513 bounc}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 ed }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid4223513 deliciously out of bed just long enough }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 to put }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid4223513 on a long string of pearls and her highest}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  heels.  It }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid11481153 was}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 
\f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  a long and very }{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid1792435 delightful}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939  night}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid4223513 
 and we twice had to order more mousse}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid10246829\charrsid6619939 !}{\rtlch\fcs1 \af0 \ltrch\fcs0 \f39\insrsid6040556\charrsid6619939 
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