From: Betty
Date: Wed Jul 4, 2001 2:47 pm
Subject: I'm in trouble again

Hi everyone

I quit my new job today.  

Yesterday was my first day at work and it was going fine until the boss called
me into his office after lunch.  He had that look again, like he hates me.  No,
its more like I disgust him.  He kind of sneered like I was nothing but an
offensive odour or something.  And he said "Get to work" and pointed at his
crotch.  It was an order but it sounded like he hated me, too.  At first I made
it last for him but then he told me to "hurry the fuck up" and then when I was
done and tried to fix my lipstick like I had last time, he asked me if his
office looked like the ladies' room and told me to get out because he had work
to do.  But my face was all wet with saliva because my darling had told me that
was what men think looks good.  When I left, the other women in the office just
stopped and stared at me and I knew that they could tell what I had been doing.
 I made it to the washroom and fixed my make-up, but it was very awkward after
that. The A/R clerk that I work for was obviously upset.  Then, this morning,
he called me in about 9:30 and all the women in the office watched me go in and
I just wanted to die.  After that I just could not keep working in the same
room with those women.  I couldn't.  I mean, they never said anything, but just
the way they looked at me and each other when I came out of that office.  I
almost ran to the washroom and then I realized I had a big drip of sperm on my
collar.  It was SO obvious!  I didn't know what to do.  I just could not go in
and face them agian.  So I left.  

Sickman is coming over tonight to talk about it, but I can't go back there.  So
now I'm unemployed again.

I really am not in the mood to tell about the party on Saturday, but people
have been writing asking about it.  I have been putting off writing about it
because its such a huge job and I have been busy. I mean, the party went on for
almost twelve hours and it is just taking too much time to write all this
stuff, especially now that I am working again.  Now I have nothing to do today
but I don't feel like it.  Anyway, I will tell you the basics and that will
have to do.
 
Basically, it was a totally disgusting experience from the very start.  Guys
started arriving at 10 in the morning.  My beloved made it so it was far less
about me giving blowjobs and more about humiliation.  I guess when I told him
last week that I wanted more he gave it to me.  It all seemed to be about
making them laugh at me.  God, I don't even know where to start.  He made me
jog on the spot so they could laugh at my boobs bouncing around, he put a raw
fish in my pussy, beans up my nose, wrote degrading things on my body and face
with lipstick, they spit in my face, God, I don't really want to to even
remember it all.  I mean, I loved it at the time, even though I hated it, too,
but now I would just rather forget it.  At least until the party next weekend. 
But all day I was saying things.  You know, like they would tell me what to say
and I would say it.  Gross, humiliating things about myself.  I feel like I
spent most of the day on the verge of tears, though I think I only cried a
couple of times.  When I did, they always asked if I wanted more and I don't
know why, because I really was miserable a lot of the time, but I always wanted
more.  I just don't understand how I can want something that makes me feel so
bad, but no matter how bad they made it, I still wanted it.  Part of me really
loved being treated like an animal, no, worse than an animal, being utterly
degraded, humiliated and laughed at for hours and hours until I thought I was
losing my mind. 

And then there was the sperm! there was so much of it.  And the rule was that I
was not allowed to swallow any of it all day, but had to keep spitting it into
a bowl.  Then they would empty that into a bowl in the fridge which I was going
to have to drink at 9:00 that night.  At first they all came on my face.  My
love had made one of those spit-up dishes - you know the sort of kidney-shaped
ones - so that he could put it on me like a necklace.  Well, more like one of
those collars that people wear for spinal injuries.  Anyway, with that, guys
kept jerking off on my face but it would just pour into the bowl.  Sometimes
they would feed me spoonfuls of it, but I had to spit it out again, anyways. 
After a while, though, they started cumming other places and making my lick it
up.  First it was on the floor and they seemed to like that as much as I
disliked it.  It was gross.  But then some guy had to go one better and cum on
a gross picture in one of "Richie"'s magazines and make me lick it off her.  So
then some guy came on the TV where the video of the first party was playing. 
But mostly it was either on my face or on the floor.  The apartment was packed
all day and then a bunch of guys came back at 9 to watch me eat it all.  There
was over half a litre of sperm!  And I was supposed to eat the whole lot with a
spoon.  I mean, you know that I have a thing for eating sperm, but there was so
much and it was so gross because it was old and mixed with everybody's spit and
after even a quarter of it I wanted to throw up.  But that was what they were
all there for and I tried to keep going.  But my stomach started wretching at
the thought of more of the gross stuff and they kept telling me "more" until I
was crying and telling them I was going to throw up.  So finally my beloved
said I could just "wallow" in the rest while I showed everybody how turned on
it made me, so I smeared it all over myself while I masturbated, and that
really turned me on.  God, I felt so digusting bathing in sperm and jacking off
in front of all those guys, and they kept spitting on me and sometimes cumming
on me.  It was another one of those times when I felt like I sort of
disappeared and became nothing but... oh I don't know, I wish I knew why I
enjoy things like that.

Anyway, I spent most of Sunday cleaning up as much as I could.  My furniture is
getting ruined. 

Oh, I want to thank everyone who has been writing in.  I am really sorry that I
have not been able to answer you all individually, but its just that I have
gotten SO much mail I would not know where to start.  But I want you to know
that I do read every one of them and any of you who said you wanted to get
together with me or maybe come to one of my darling's parties, well, you will
just have to be patient.  My beloved says that he is keeping a record of who
wants what and what sort of people they are, so if you are writing in, make
sure you tell us anything unique about yourself that you think might excite or
repulse me so that my love has something to make his choices on.

Betty