BOOGER RED & COWBOY CHAPTER 15
By Waddie Greywolf


 Red finally opened up to me about his condition after we had a
marathon rodeo in our cabin.  Red began to cry as he told me.  I
held him and made love to him to comfort him.

"You knew all ready."  He said quietly. He said it as a statement
of fact rather than a question.

"Yes, Master," I paused for a moment, "You know I ain't gonna'
lie to you.  I came looking for you, not because I knew anything
about it, but because my Dad, God love him, challenged me to quit
feeling sorry for myself.  'Get your ass on the road, find that old son
of a bitch, and set it right with him. You've got too much time
invested in that ugly old man not to make an effort.  You two are
obviously crazy about each other.  Just ease up on him a little son.
You don't have to sell your soul, just lighten up. I know what he did
was a bitch, but one mistake don't make a bad man, Son. The best
of men make mistakes from time to time. Sometimes the hardest
thing about love is learning to forgive. 

I've known Red for thirty years or more; I know him to be a good
man, Billy. I never told you, but I owe my life to Red.  That man
crawled the length of a football field under heavy enemy fire and
pulled my ass all the way back to safety when no one else would. 
He fell in love with your Uncle Bud and saved his life, too.  I was
sent home and Red stayed over there.  That's why I've told you, you
could do a lot worse for a Master than old Booger.  I'd give that
man anything he wanted from me including my son to love.'

"Sounds exactly like what Gunn would say. I think the world of
your dad, Son. I love him a lot." Red laughed.  I continued, 

"Then I realized,  I'd put you through too much.  I was coming to
beg you to reconsider, give me another chance to be your slave, 
but when I started asking your whereabouts, I got the news. You
can't hold it against our family, Red.  They love you, but they don't
agree with you leaving me out of the picture. They think we should
be together,  Master, and I agree with them.  They love both of us,
Red. 


"I don't want you to watch me die, Cowboy.  I love you too much
for that. You're the love of my life, Son.  I loved your dad, I loved
your Uncle Bud, I loved Walker but ain't never loved no man the
way I love you, Cowboy.  I can't imagine doing that to you. I love
you too fucking much."  Red started to break down.

"Am I your slave or not, old man?" I asked in a demanding voice.

"Hell, yes, you are.  You know damn well you're my property.  I
made that choice for you, before you went to Nam.  You wanted me
to. You gave me the right to claim you as my property,  because
you trusted this big, ugly beast when you first looked into his eyes. 
I owned you from that moment on.

You gave your word , the deed you gave me was still valid, and
being the man you are you lived up to your commitment and
honored it.  I own your ass.  You'll continue to be my slave and
serve me until I die.  You belong to me and no other, and Billy,---I
thank God, you do." Red broke down and started sobbing. He was
racked with emotional contradictions.  I held him, trying to be
strong for him but I couldn't keep the tears away. 

"Red, I ain't never told you this but I'm going to now.  There's
somebody else that insisted we be together through all this and I
agree with him."

"Who's that, Cowboy?" Red asked.

"God." I said quietly.  Red looked at me funny because he'd
heard me talk in my sleep to Uncle Bud, and the cowboys.

"You must a' done a lot of good in your life to get his attention. 
That Old Man must love you some'n fierce 'cause he sure dogged
my ass to be with you. He gave us free will to make choices about
how we go about our lives but sometimes he has somebody in mind
to do a certain thing and if'n they don't,---he gets pissed. You think
I'm stubborn?  Oouuwee, you ain't seen stubborn.  He don't take
'no' for an answer."

"What are you talking about, Cowboy?"

"When I came back from Nam I was so angry with God, angry he
took Buck from me, angry 'cause he took two of the most loving
friends I ever knew, and if that wasn't enough, he took Uncle Bud.  I
was angry with the idea of ever trying to love anyone again and
angry at myself for being angry.   I was like a snake eating itself.

I couldn't see you right away. There were several reasons but
the most important was,  I couldn't give up Buck. Secondly I was
angry with you to hold me to a commitment I made under stress.  I
had the biggest rodeo of my life to compete in, my year with Uncle
Bud was coming to an end,  and I was facing being sent to Nam.  I
was too young to think about commitments.

I told you in Glen Rose I didn't know what the future held and
didn't know if I could keep my commitment to you.  I told you about
Buck when you visited after boot camp.  I told you then I was
falling in love with him. I thought to myself, 'Here's a man almost
thirty years older than I am.  He's mature enough to just let it be.  I
told my dad I was working up to seeing you.  Once I went to tell
Buck goodbye then you were next.

It was easy to pass off my commitment as the product of an
immature, inexperienced, vulnerable child.  Here was this beast
standing before me who had the greatest, deepest love for me in
his eyes that bridged any difference in our ages.  A magnificent
beast knows no age."  I smiled at him, 

"I knew underneath the hard, battle scarred, mean looking
outlaw biker beat the heart of a fine, loving Master.  We were in the
same place in the universe, like two rogue planets, pulled into each
other's orbits with such magnetic pull, I knew I would become a
moon to my beast, caught in his pull never to get away. 

You were like a black hole my heart and soul was being drawn
into that I couldn't escape. The pull was too strong. You still do it
to me, it's never stopped.  We can be in a room full of hot looking
men,  and the only one there I can see is my beast.

I can be talking to someone trying to carry on an intelligent
conversation.   I see you out of my peripheral vision talking to
someone across the room and get a roaring hard-on. I lose all
concentration in my conversation and end up sounding like an idiot. 
How can I tell the person, 

'I'm sorry I lost interest in our conversation, you're not boring or
nothing, it's just I got this boner from looking at my Master and my
mind went blank.'  Red grabbed me and threw back his head in
laughter.

"I'm not laughing at you, Son,  'cause I've done the same damn
thing.  I usually, tell 'em the truth, have a good laugh, then try to
pay more attention.  Ain't easy when my partner 'twene  my legs
has only one thought on his tiny brain.  I've had to run to the head
several times 'cause it was trying to crawl out the top of my cod
piece."  We both laughed.
 
"When we met that night you saved me from Cal,  the comfort of
being with you,  knowing in my heart I belonged to you, jogged my
memories of my feelings from Glen Rose.   I fell in love with you
again. I comfortably rationalized my commitment away never
considering what it might mean to my beast. I thought, well he's an
older man, he's played the game many times and sometime it just
doesn't work out.

It never hit me, I never saw it, until you said something to me in
Reno that first week we were back together.  You looked at me
with the greatest hurt I'd ever seen in a man's eyes and asked, 'Did
you tell Buck, you could only  give him half your love because you
were still in love with me?'  Then you answered your own question,
'No? I didn't think so!' and you were right.

You nailed my ass to the wall with your final statement, 'I'm
standing here with a deed in my hand that say's I own your ass,
you're my slave, you're my property. You gave it to me, you gave
me your word. Here, you can have it back,  it's worthless.'  I may
have forgotten my commitment to my beast, but God didn't. When
you walked into the shower and left me standing with my mouth
open I heard the voice of God, himself.

"Why are you doing this to this man?  Why are you playing this
game with him?  You're his slave.  You were before you left for
Nam.   I gave you a wonderful man to love and help you through the
terror.  He loved you so much, he chose to give his life for you, so
you might live and return home, and for what reason? So you might
fulfil your commitment.  Four people will need you; your dad,
Booger Red,  Buck's dad but most importantly a giant, hairy, bear-
like man that's a personal friend and faithful servant of mine. You
haven't met him yet, but you will.

I allowed  you a summer with Dan Yates to help him recover
from his son's death and for you to lean on him.  I allowed Buck to
come to you to tell you, you must keep your commitment to your
beast.  Your place isn't in Dan Yates's bed.  He'll be fine.  I'll see to
that. 

I can't tell you why I want you to be with Booger Red.  You don't
need to know why you have to be with him.  First of all it's none of
your business and secondly it's because it wasn't me what gave
him the choice to make the decision for you to become his
property,---it was you.   That alone should be reason enough.  Keep
your commitment to Booger Red.  He's right, he holds the deed to
your soul.  You gave it to him.  By rights, the man owns you.

"But, Sir," I tried to reason with him, "surely you don't hold
these slave contracts men make between themselves as valid and
binding.  I was a child when I made that contract with Red."

"Like hell I don't!  Any contract between two people, verbal or
written, is valid and binding with the original intent of that contract
to be honored.   Any manipulation by either party or some stupid
word merchant of an attorney makes the contract instantly null and
void.  You gave your word.  That was as good as if you signed a
written contract with your own blood.  If you give your word to a
man and don't live up to it then you lied to him and you're a fraud.  I
DON'T LIKE liars, cheats, and frauds.  Didn't Cher make a record of
that?"

"Naw, Sir, that was, "Gypsies, Tramps and Thieves."

"Yeah, yeah, well,  whatever.  Men have always had slaves. 
That don't mean I agree with it.  They just have,  probably always
will.  So, I had to make provisions for the faith of a good slave. 
More damn work for me.  In some cases it's best for both;  damn
few cases, but it can be a good thing.  Your's is a case in point. 
You need to learn a lesson and you need to teach Red one.  

It's you guys that fuck up the concept of benevolent Master to a
loving slave. It's you that fuck up the contracts.  What do you think
my angels are?  We don't call 'em slaves but you could make a
case, I suppose.  Look at it this way, be his slave and you'll be my
angel."  (You don't want to hear the Old Man belly-laugh, Master.) 
"I know it's too cute but what the hey,  if I got through your thick
head, I've hit a home run.

Now you got a group down there,---call themselves lawyers.
Stay the fuck away from them." (Yes Master, he said, 'Stay the fuck
away.'") "They'll fuck up any contract with as much mumbo-jumbo
as they can and charge you out the ass per word.  You're
guaranteed to get fucked and never get kissed in the process. 

When they finish law school, pass the bar, get their certificates
and diplomas on the wall, be sure to read the fine print at the
bottom of their bar certificate.  It says, 'License to steal.'  I'm
gonna' really enjoy seeing those bastards tap dancing in place
while trying to plea bargain their way out of hell.  I have a section
'specially reserved for them.  Can you imagine any greater hell than
putting them all together in one place.  

I gave you folks down there free will.  What or how you choose
to accomplish what I set out for you to do, is up to you,  but some
of you twist things about so much you make things twice as
difficult as they need to be.  Some of you would fuck up a wet
dream.  I gave you those, by the way; another one of my bon-bons.

 You pray to me to direct you in your life, keep you away from
harm, show you the way,  then you blame me for every damn thing
that doesn't go your way.  If you don't want me messing with your
life say a quick prayer, don't have to be elaborate, nothing fancy 
with a lot of 'thees' and 'thous;'  just tell me to butt out.  'At's all it
takes.  You're on your own, Brother. You prayed to me to help you
be good and help others, well, I'm doing my best, Son, but ya' gotta'
work with me here.

You were angry at me for taking Buck.  Okay, so I took Buck.  I
didn't take him to punish you.  I took Buck because he served his
time; he did what I asked of him and more, and he did it with
simplicity, grace, dignity and love.  You witnessed it.  You watched
it happen.  He transformed you or I wouldn't be talking to you now. 
You saw him perform miracles because of his simple faith and yet
you remained suspicious.

Buck is my son in whom I am well pleased.  He sent me prayers
since he was a little boy.  He believed in me from the beginning and
never stopped.  His faith never wavered.  Your's, on the other hand, 
is like a sine wave on an oscilloscope.  I love Buck and wanted him
with me.  That's my right.  I have the power to do that, you know?

However, I felt like shit taking him from you along with your
buddies and your Uncle Bud at the same time but they let you know
big time they haven't left you.  That's why I've allowed Buck to
come to you.  That loving man's trying to steer you right.  I even
told Buck to give you his blessing to be with Red and he did.   You
think that was easy for a man that loves you as much as Buck
does?   He told you, you wouldn't give him up until you gave
yourself to Booger Red. 

Look Son,  I'm only asking you to keep a commitment, you,
yourself, made.  Do I have to kick you in the butt to get you to do
what I asked,  you stubborn little twit!  (Yes, Red.  God really called
me a 'twit.')

"Okay Sir, I will, not because you told me to, but because I love
Red and want to be his slave." I told him.  He groaned and made a
sound like he was smiting somebody with his terrible swift sword.

"I don't give a tinker's dam why you do it nor how you do it,  just
do it!"  He went away grumbling to himself saying something about,
"Sweet Jesus, where are you when I need you? The kid's good
looking, smart, but stubborn as a Kentucky mule; gotta' whomp
'em up side the head with a two by four to get his attention. I
say, I say, the boy didn't stay in the egg long enough."

"Well, he scared the fuck out of me, Master.  Look Red, I ain't
never lied to you.  Ain't  gonna' start now. I ain't lying about hearing
God's voice that day.  Later, when you left me, I was home in my
bed after sleeping 'round the clock for over a week.  Buck came to
me and told me God was gonna' let me know why I wanted us
together;  to get my ass up and on the road to look for you.  He told
me not to hesitate I had to leave the next morning;  your life
depended on it.  Took me a full day to get to Reno.  I had dinner
with Ben, Harry, Cal and Steve.

  When they told me,  I felt like a fool.  I was so damn
embarrassed I wanted to crawl in a hole and pull it in after me.
That's why the Old Man wanted me to be with you and because of
my pride I fought him and you.

I was pained by the news, Red.  I immediately ran to the men's
room and threw up. I love you so much, I don't want to lose you. 
I've lost too much in life all ready.  Red, it's gonna' break me in two
to lose you but  I know this isn't all there is.  I think the worst part
was I didn't trust the Old Man.

Buck told me I had to swallow my pride and ride with you after
we broke up over T-bo.  I was so fucking confused I didn't know
what I wanted.  I wanted  more time to think about it than the
couple of weeks we were apart.  God wouldn't let me, Red.  Ask my
Dad, ask Walker, or ask Ben and Harry.  I told them all the same
thing.  God wanted me to swallow my pride and ride with you.

That's why I put you through such shit.  I was angry with you.   I
was angry at God.  I was angry with myself,  but your determination 
made me love you again.  You took it from me. That's not a
complaint, it was your right, your due as my Master;   however,  it
was the most wonderfully exciting thing that's ever happened to
me in my miserable life.

As devastated as I was when I returned from Nam, I
experienced an unimagined  physical and spiritual high with a man
who loved me enough to make the choice for me, when I couldn't,
and held me to it by taking it from me. Lesser men would've simply
walked away and written me off.

That man loved me, and he knew without asking I loved him.  By
God and all that's holy he was going to take it from me because it
was not only his due;  after all, he did own me;  it was because
down deep inside he knew I wanted him to prove his love for me by
taking it; and, he did, over and over again.  His slave couldn't get
enough.

Then something very strange happened.  All the shit, rough
games, name calling, fighting, became a suit of armor the man
pealed away a piece at a time until  my soul stood bare,  naked,
exposed before him as I am now,  to tell him, I have no more
defenses; I have no more fears;  I have no other thought or greater
need in life but to serve the wonderful, magnificent beast that sits
beside me. 

There's no longer a you and me,  there's only you.  I have
become you,  not us,  not we, but you.  My soul is at peace.  It's
what I wanted all along and would never admit to myself.  I don't
want to be anyone else but you.  When I think of myself now I'm
beginning to think of myself as you, as much as an eye or your right
hand or, yes, even that monster that dwells between my Master's
thighs.  I'm even the waste that passes from your body.

I have become that magnificent beast that looked into my eyes
that night in Glen Rose and told me if I allowed him to make that
choice for me I would want no other.  There was no other bold
enough nor strong enough to make that choice for me.  

'Be forewarned,  man-child,  I'm a hungry beast, needing to feast
on what only you can bring to my table. Give me that choice, if you
dare, Young One, and I will surely consume you with my love;   the
greatest love you'll ever witness.   Oh, what a feast it will be.

You'll take as much joy in being consumed  as I will consuming
you.  There will not be an iota of you left.  Have no fear, Little One, 
you will not perish, for when I have finished my meal,  you'll be
where you've always dreamed of being.  You'll find the peace you're
looking for.  You'll be warm inside me, nourishing both of us, but
living through me.   No longer you, but me and that joining will bring
us peace and comfort for the rest of our days together.'

The beast was right.  I've been consumed. I am you, Red.  I am
no other.  I want to be no other.  I will be an extension of you until
you release me and I pray you never do.  Not being with you is not
an option, Master,  as I've just explained.  Much greater forces than
you and I are involved here.  I'll be here, by your side, 'til the end,
Master.  If you can believe even a portion of what I told you then
you'll realize I have to be there because I am you.  I belong to you,
Master, as surely as your right hand."  I said in a broken voice.

"You know, it's not like we'll have to face it alone. We have
family to see us through.  Buck told me the Old Man would send us
two more immediate family members to help us. They're suppose to
have the same name's me.  I don't know how he's gonna' pull that
one off but I have to trust him, Master.

 I can't imagine you not having me by your side. I can't imagine
a morning without you waking next to me and I can't imagine not
being your slave or being unable to serve you another day until God
calls you home.  In short,  I love you,  my beast.  I could do worse
than to be the slave of such a magnificent beast."  I was finished.  I
couldn't go on. 

  I threw my arms around him, held him close and let it all out.  I
couldn't be strong anymore.  

"I love you, Cowboy." Red growled softly as he too began to sob
in my arms.

"Then let's go. Let's  do it. I ain't gonna' let you sit around
waiting to die.  We have enough money to go anywhere, do anything
we want and even if we didn't,  Ben would see to it we did. Is there
anything you've really wanted to do and never got the chance."

"Yeah, I've always wanted to tour our country on a bike.  I've
never been east of Dallas, Texas and never in the northen states. 
Let's go, Cowboy.  Tour as much as we can, see as much as we
can, meet as many people as we can, help when we can, and love
as much as we can,  until I start showing signs.  I couldn't imagine
anything I'd rather do nor anyone I'd rather do it with."

"Of course, Master, I've never seen our country either.  Sounds
like a great idea to me.  Let's leave tomorrow.  Let's not waste a
day, Red.  Let's cram as much living and love into the time we have
left. When it comes time to say goodbye we can smile at each other
and know we shared something special that few people ever do."

"That's your Master's decision, slave."  Red said with
resignation.

"I'll be only too happy, honored and damn proud to obey that
order, Master."

"I love you, Billy."

"I love you, too, Red. I always will." I said softly,  "Master would
you consider starting from Los Angeles?" I asked quietly.

"What'd ju have in mind, Youngster?"  Red asked. He was sitting
on the bed and I kneeled before him and took his hand in mine.

"Master, would you consider honoring me by allowing me to give
myself to you, to be your slave, to be owned by you as your
personal property, for the rest of our lives together, in a ceremony
before our family.  It would mean a lot to your slave, Sir."    The big
man spread his legs, pulled me to him,  held me for the longest time
with my head against his chest before he answered.

"I'd be the one honored, slave."  he said quietly,  "We'll leave
today.  I'll call ahead and ask our clan Master to make the
arrangements.  A small, quiet, simple ceremony for Sunday
afternoon." my Master said then he looked at me and grinned.  

"Yeah! Sure, Master.  I'd like to see you pull that one off.  The
term 'quiet ceremony' and 'our family' can't be used in the same
sentence.  Do you think for a minute our family  is gonna' let us get
by without a blow out party? Quiet ceremony with our family?
Especially with Master Beryl making the arrangements.  He'll call
Barnum and Bailey to see if'n he can book 'em."

"That's about right."  my Master laughed, "God,  I love that old
man."

"Me, too." I allowed. It felt good to laugh.  We didn't need
anymore tears.

Red and I left the Russian River area and headed South toward
the valley of smoke.  Red called Master Beryl who was staying with
Master Zack and part time on Mt. Washington with Big Jim and
Master Jeb. He was beside himself with joy.  He yelled, hooped and
hollered.

It was a Wednesday and we figured if we stopped over night we
could roll into Master Jeb's and Jim's around Thursday afternoon
late or at the latest, Friday morning.  Red and I always made good
time. If'n you want to ride with Booger Red you learn to keep up. 
That man could ride a bike like a bat out of hell.                    
     
It was a fast but leisurely trip to the Southland. The glow of our
love lifted Red's spirits.  He wasn't thinking about the end.  He was
thinking about us. We stopped several times for gas or food.  Once
in a while for a brew.  'Course I never get to drink beer.  Uncle Bud
was right when he told me about being Booger's slave. One of the
first things Red taught me when we went drinking was, I was only
allowed 'Booger Beer.'  That was that.  After three years, I feel
cheated if I don't get two or three bottles.  I never did mind it, but
hell, I got to where I enjoyed it.

Sometimes he'd offer me a sip of his beer and I'd take it.   I'd
make a face and he'd laugh. I never developed a taste for beer.  I
sure did for 'Booger beer.'  Once in a while, on a hot afternoon he'd
ask me if I wanted a real beer.  I'd take it 'cause it seemed to be
what he wanted me to do.  I'd finish it and sort of play with the
empty bottle.

"Want another beer, slave?"  he'd growl at me.

"Oh, no thanks, Master, that's enough for me."  I'd continue to
play with my empty bottle.

"Gimme' that damn thing and go get me another beer."  he'd
smile knowingly.  When I'd get back to the table with his beer, I'd
find a full bottle waiting for me.  'Booger beer,' a damn good brew. 
The only beer for a Master's slave.

"Don't know why you don't just ask for it."  he'd smile proudly.

"I've always enjoyed your 'beer' but somehow it tastes better
when you decide I should be honored  with a bottle. It reminds me
of who I am and how much your control means to me.  Makes me
old dick hard, too. I've even come up with a catchy slogan when we
bottle it and put it on the market; 'Booger Beer,' a good stout brew. 
The only beer for a Master's slave,...and you."  Red  threw his head
back and roared with laughter in his gravely voice.

"And, you don't think it excites me to see you enjoy my 'beer'?" 
he moved his leg aside where I could see his cod piece and I could
see the head winking at me from the top.   It was my turn to laugh.

We'd go into a bar and he'd give me money to buy two beers.  I'd
hold a cold one 'til my Master finished his then he'd smile real big,
wink, and disappear into the head.  He was so thoughtful.  He'd fill
it almost  to the top every time.  Since we'd torn down all the
barriers, I broke down and told Red how much I loved drinking his
recycled beer.  He'd smile and beam with pride at me.

"I know."  he said, as a knowing smile spread across his face. 
Red made no effort to mask his cocksure, smug, self satisfied
attitude. I loved it.   That particular attitude of his turned me on like
a raging hormone.  I became so use to the taste of his piss it
spoiled me.  I've taken others but none have the strength and flavor
of my Master's.

* * * ** * * * * * * * * * 

We reached Bakersfield and cruised through town.  Red spied a
couple of bikes at a bar on the outskirts of town and motioned for
us to stop.  We pulled up, locked the bikes and went into the dark
bar.  I went to the bar and bought our usual two beers.  We sat at a
dark table near the pool table and juke box.  Our eyes adjusted to
the light and at another table sat two of the meanest, scruffy, good
looking bikers I'd seen in a long time.  Red leaned over to me.

"Your ass made quite an impression on them two ole boys,
Cowboy. 'Specially the young one." my Master spoke quietly to me.

"Can't say's I ain't flattered, Master.  Are they as mean looking
to you as they are to me?"

"Yeah.  They's ain't to shabby look'n neither.  It's been my
experience, the meaner they look the harder they like to get
fucked."  I almost fell off my chair laughing.   Red didn't crack a
joke too often but when he did it exposed the bone.  

"Well, from my experience, Master, you're just the man what
could fuck the meanness out a' that young one. I could fantasize
about that older one taking care of my meanness; no disrespect,
Sir."

"None taken, Son.  Seeing as how I'm a' think'n I might like to
watch that happen."

"There's something about them that's familiar.  Have we run into
them before." I asked my Master.

"I ain't never seen 'em before, Son."  allowed Red.

"Oh, well, probably my imagination."

About that time the younger of the two got up and headed for
the pool table. He looked to be about my age.  He walked like the
men back in Texas walk with his hips thrown forward and slinging
his boots in an exaggerated swagger.

He almost walked like a buckaroo but not quite. It was sexy
though and he knew it.  Come to think of it, I remembered where I'd
seen that walk before.  My dad walks that way. The kid slammed
his quarter into the table, the balls dropped, and he began to rack
them on the table.

"You shoot pool, Mister?"  he looked right at me.  I looked at
Red and he nodded.

"I do,  I ain't real good but I ain't no beginner neither." I replied
and octave lower than my normal voice.  Red giggled.   The kid
laughed at my response.

"Wanna' play? I ain't real good neither."  he allowed.

"I'd like to but you'll have to ask my Master."  Red wouldn't have
cared.  I knew I didn't have to ask his permission.  All I had to do
was look at him and he would've nodded 'yea' or 'nay.'  Red knew
what I was up to and kinda smiled at me.  I wanted a reaction.  The
kid kinda got a sneer on his mean looking face and I thought he
was gonna' say something snide; instead, his face  broke into a
broad smile, he walked over to the table and stuck out his hand to
Red.   

"Name's Sonny, Master Red."   Red took his hand and shot a
puzzled look at me.

"Nice to meet you, Son.  Uuuh,  how'd ju' know my name?"

"Easy,  Sir.  Anyone with a beard and 'stach's red as your's, 
gotta' be called Red."   We laughed. "Sorry I didn't ask you first,
Master Red.  Didn't mean to be rude nor disrespectful, Sir. 
Sometimes it's hard to tell what bikers are all about when you first
run into 'em.  I'd be pleased and honored if you'd allow your
handsome slave to shoot pool with me, Sir.  By the way, that mean
looking, handsome, big dude over there,--well, he's my old man; my
dad; name's Boots."  I could see Sonny was younger than the other
one but they looked like brothers. Sonny motioned for Boots to join
us.

"Dad, come on over and meet these gentlemen."  The big one
lumbered over.  I thought the young one had a sexy walk.  Holy
graham crackers!  That big man could have put every pair of boots
he owned under my bunk.   Woah!   His boots were clean and shined
to a mirror finish. Made me wonder if the kid took care of his old
man's boots.  I somehow felt it was a safe bet.

Boots was as big as my dad and damned if he didn't look a lot
like my dad in the dark bar.  I'd bet the ranch he had a comfortable
appendage between his legs.  He stuck out his hand and Red shook
it.

"Good to meet you, Master Red."  Boots said in a deep baritone
voice.  In a dark room I would swear it was Sam Elliot talking.

"Good to meet you, too, Son."  said Red, "I'm Booger Red and
this, here, Young'un's  my slave, Cowboy."  Both  men shook my
hand.  The big one looked me in the eye and lingered for a minute
like he'd met me somewhere before.  My dad looks at me the same
damn way.  It sent shivers up my back.

"You have an uncommonly handsome young man-slave, Master
Red." he said quietly looking deep in my eyes as he said it.

"Thanks, Boots.  Just call me Red.  I think he's kind a' pretty. 
Don't much think about that no more.  He's been my slave for
sometime now.  It's what's inside him makes me want to keep him
by my side. He's a good boy, a fine slave, and he takes good care of
his Master."  Red turned his attention to Sonny,   "It's fine with me,
Son, if my boy wants to shoot pool with you."  

"Thanks, Master Red, 'preciate it."  said Sonny.  I got up to get a
pool cue.  Since it was his quarter he was getting ready to break. 
He make a good break and we started playing.  He was pretty good
but I was better.  Red was talking quietly with Boots.  I wondered
what they were talking about because Boots kept looking at me.  

The weirdest thing was the two men kept reminding me of my
dad.  The younger one could've been my dad's brother from pictures
I'd seen of him as a young man.  The older one looked a hell of a lot
like my old man.  Sonny and I played a couple of games.  I won the
first and he won the second. 

Red finished his first beer and excused himself to go to the
head. They saw him take the empty bottle with him.  Sonny smiled
knowingly and winked at me. When Red returned the bottle was
full. The bartender had his back to us talking to some broad at the
end of the bar.  They weren't paying any attention to us.  Red sat it
where mine was, took the cold one and poured a little into his small
glass. He didn't say a word to Boots.  Boots got a big grin on his
face curious to see what I'd do.  I walked over,  touched Red on his
shoulder.

"Thanks, Master, I can use this about now." I said quietly but
sincerely.   I took the bottle and chug-a-lugged about half of it. 
Then, I made a small to do about how good it was and wiped my
mouth on my arm.

"Good and strong, like my Master.   Thanks, Sir.  Just the way I
like it.   They don't make a better beer, Master."  I turned and
walked back to the pool table with my 'Booger beer.'  I no sooner
sat it down than Sonny jumped me.

"Can I have a taste, Cowboy?"  he asked.  I knew the kid saw
Red take the empty bottle into the head and come out with a full
one. I also watched Sonny's sizable dick get rock hard in his levis.

"Be happy to share with you, Sonny, but do you, --?"

"Of course I do."  he said as he held out his hand.  I handed him
my bottle of 'Booger beer' and he took two big swallows of it.

"Damn, you're right, Cowboy.   Ain't never tasted no beer
better'n that." my Master heard him and turned to me and smiled.

"You're a lucky slave to have such a fine animal like, Master
Red, allow you to drink his 'beer.'  Think he'd buy me one of them
beers the next time he buys you one?"  Sonny leaned in to me and
spoke quietly.

He kind of stunned me.  Sonny was the first man I ever met to
immediately grasp who and what my Master was all about.  He had
no problem with the dichotomy of our looks or age. With the
understated eloquence of two words, 'fine animal,' he
complemented me, my Master and let me know he understood
without a doubt why I'd be riding by his side.  It pleased me he
looked upon our relationship as all togther my good fortune 

"I'm sure he'd be pleased to.  You don't have to be obsequious
with him. My Master appreciates a slave who's direct, well
mannered and respectful.  If you ask him to consider your request
in that manner, you can get anything out of him." I responded.

"Anything?"  he asked raising an eyebrow.

"Yep, that, too."  I assured him.  Sonny howled with laughter.  I
took the last swig of my Master's 'beer' and took the bottle back
over and sat it next to Red.  Sonny followed me over with half a
bottle of beer and sat it next to mine.

"Master Red,  I would consider it a great honor, Sir, if you'd
consider allowing me to enjoy the same brand of beer Cowboy's
drinking.  He was generous enough to let me taste his and I found it
quite to my liking, Sir."

"Well done, Son.  I'm impressed with the sincerity of your
request. Be right proud to get you a 'Booger beer,' but you have half
a beer left."

"Well, Sir,  either you may have it or my dad, or just pour it out in
there.  Ain't about to fill up on beer if'n I can drink som'um good as
your 'beer,' Sir."  Red smiled and nodded.  He shared the rest of
Sonny's beer with Boots.

"Dad," Sonny continued, "you ready, can I get you another beer? 
How 'bout you Master Red?  Be proud and honored to buy you a
beer.  It's the least I can do, Sir."  I think my Master fell in love. I
could tell Sonny impressed him. The two men nodded and Sonny
scurried off to buy two more beers.  He brought them back, they
thanked him and went on with their conversation.  Sonny joined me
again.

"You all right with this, Boots?"  Red asked the big man.

"Oh yeah! He's his own man.  I don't judge nor criticize him. He's
just Sonny.  He don't meet many Masters he'd ask that of. It has to
be a real special type man to get him that turned on. He begs me
for mine 'til he drives me nuts.  If you guys hadn't showed up I was
about to give him some.  I usually let him have a couple of bottles
when were out. It don't hurt him none.  He loves it; likes it better'n
beer.   Hell, it's cheaper for me.  He'd drink my piss all evening if I'd
let him.  Sometimes,  if he's been good I fill him up. 

There's a couple of bikers we ride with from time to time that
know's he likes it.  They're fond of him 'cause I let him suck 'em off
once in a while.  They're mean sons of bitches but they're good to
him, treat him well, and are protective of him.  They don't put him
down,  make fun of 'em, nor talk about him behind his back.  They
treat him like a little brother. 

For all the shit they're into they don't judge nobody;  they figure,
if he wants it,  let him have it.   Hell, it ain't no skin off their noses. 
Ain't hurtin' nobody and the way them old boys drink they got
plenty. I know they get a sexual kick out of watching him enjoy
their piss.  The whole time they're drinking with us they both keep
a hard-on.

Sonny swears the uglier, meaner looking of the two plays like
he's drunker than he really is, picks up Sonny's bottle 'by mistake'
and chug-a-lugs his buddy's piss without making a face, hands
Sonny his cold bottle and winks at him.  Most time they keep him
pretty filled when they're around. He goes around looking like he
was pregnant and he sloshes a lot when he walks."  The two men
laughed.

"He's really attracted to you, Red.  He's not trying to come on to
you or nothing, it's just his way of complimenting you.  He has a
strict code he lives by.  If a Master has a slave he never tries to
move in on their territory.  He may make a friend of the slave or
both but he won't intrude on their relationship.  He won't even have
a three way with them. If he finds out a Master lied to him and  has
a slave he won't have nothing more to do with him.

He also thinks your slave is about the  most handsome man he's
ever seen. I have to go along with my boy on that one, Red.  Ain't
never seen a man's good looking as him. Sonny 'bout pissed his
pants when you guys walked in.  I laughed at him 'til I got a real
good look at Cowboy.  Hell, I guess I did think he was pretty good
looking,  can't seem to get 'me' old dick to stop dripping."  They
laughed again.

"Is Sonny really your son, Boots?"

"'Fraid so, Red.  I got his momma pregnant when she was riding
with me. She was my old lady.  I thought I'd taken all precautions. 
She had me hooked.  I never married her.  She talked me into
selling my bike.  You know the story.  She cut off my nuts then cut
off my 'go.'   I couldn't jump on my horse and ride away.   I got a
nine to fiver, settle down to have this kid.  I thought I'd give it a
shot, try being a good old man for her and the kid.  Worked hard at
it, too.  

Everything would've been all right except she couldn't lay off
the drugs. I'm surprised the kid's brain wasn't damaged she did so
much shit while carrying him.  She was so wasted when I took her
to delivery, she didn't even want to see him after she had him. 
Didn't want to hold him. Nothing.  Told the nurse to get him away
from her.  She weren't gonna' nurse the little bastard.  The nurse
told me it was important for a baby to be held right after birth to
bond properly with his parents.  I didn't know nothing about it.

I took him in my arms.  I never held a baby before, Red.  Took
one look at his pretty little face and fell in love with him.  It was all
over but the shout'n.  He had my heart and I knew I couldn't get it
back.

He was the best baby.  He rarely cried even when he messed
himself.  I had to check him regularly to see if he needed changing. 
She wasn't even interested in naming him.  Since I hadn't married
her she took a shot me,

"Name the little bastard anything you want.  Call him 'Dumbo'
for all I care." 

I didn't marry her but my name's on his birth certificate.  So, I
named him after me and my dad.  

"That why you go by Boots and Sonny?"  Red reasoned.

"Yes, Sir.  Two men with the same name gets kinda confusing. 
Ever since I got custody of him and he started riding with me
everyone's called him Sonny.  'Cause he's my son, I guess.  I got
the nickname, Boots, 'cause Sonny was all the time keeping my old
boots shined and polished.  Always had the cleanest pair of boots
in camp.  Funny,  I never asked the kid to do it.

One day when he was seven or eight, I made a comment about
my old boots being dirty.  I went in our tent to take an afternoon
nap, took my boots off to be comfortable and sat 'em outside by the
door under a little awning on the front.  When I woke up and went
to put my boots on they were cleaned and shined.  I couldn't
believe it.  I ask Sonny if he done it and he said 'yes.'  He didn't
want his dad wearing dirty boots.  Been taking care of his old man's
boots ever since."  he put one out for Red to see.

"Don't mean to pry, Boots, but what happened to your old lady,
Sonny's mother?"

"Ahh,  hell, she spent every penny I made as a bike mechanic on
drugs. After the kid was born she wouldn't buy food for him, she
spent it all on drugs.  I didn't know but the kid was starving to
death.  He never cried or nothing.   I picked him up one afternoon
and he couldn't even hold his little head up.

 I just assumed she knew what she was doing and taking care of
him. Hell, I was a new father, I didn't know shit about babies.  That
afternoon, she was wasted as usual so I grabbed him up and took
him to the local clinic where an old doctor who took care of me as
a kid worked part time.  He took one look at Sonny and told me he
was starving to death and asked me if we were feeding him.  I told
him I worked all day and I thought she was taking care of him. 
Well, she wasn't. If he got fed,  I had to do it after coming home
from work. 

I couldn't work all day, deal with her and take care of him, too.
He had bad diaper rash 'cause he'd lain too long in his own waste. 
He sometimes laid there all day until I got home to change him and
feed him.  She'd be passed out. The poor little thing would be so
happy to see me he'd just smile, laugh, hold on to my finger like he
didn't want to let go.  I was all he had and I wasn't going to let him
down.

I finally had enough.  The neighbor lady was a wonderful older
lady.  Her husband passed away several year before.  She called to
me in the backyard.  She wasn't a gossip, but she thought I ought
to know my old lady was turning tricks while I was at work. Didn't
surprise me none.  I didn't much care except I cut off the money. 
She pitched a bitch and reported me to the welfare people and the
cops. Thank God the lady next door and the doctor came to my
rescue and told them what she'd been doing.  I kicked her ass out.

She thought she was gonna' get back at me by taking Sonny
with her.  What she didn't know was the welfare people and cops
went to bat for me and a judge awarded me custody before I kicked
her out. The lady next door knew what I was going through and
offered to take care of Sonny in the day time while I worked. She
told me she had nothing to do all day since her husband died and
taking care of Sonny would help her as well as me.

She didn't charge me nothing 'til I got my life together.  She was
a true angel, a God send and I paid her for several years to watch
him while I worked.  She passed away not long ago and it broke
Sonny and my hearts.  He call her 'Gamma' his whole life.  She's the
only mother Sonny remembers.

Within a week, my ole lady hooked up with some scooter trash
that was deal'n and she ran away with him.  He made enough
money deal'n he could afford to keep her in drugs.  Good for him. 
Let him do it.  I sure as hell didn't make that kind of money.  I didn't
suffer no twinge when I saw them ride away.  Within a month they'd 
robbed a liquor store in Fresno. She and her new old man shot two
men.  One died.  They got caught and she's doing thirty to life in the
pen.  She would've gotten more but they couldn't prove who pulled
the trigger.  I ain't never told Sonny his mother's in the pen.  She
didn't care nothing about him anyway.  I told him she died in a bad
bike accident.

I couldn't see taking him to a prison year in and year out so's he
could visit his momma and have the stupid bitch try'n tell me how
to raise him. I never got another old lady.  Hell, he took up all my
time.   'Sides what broad's gonna' ride with a scoot bum what's got
a kid clinging to him. I sometimes got a piece of ass 'cause some
broad thought he was cute. After the cute wore off, goodbye piece
of ass."  Boots laughed. 

It wasn't easy but we did all right; we got by.  I started living for
him. He became my life.  Didn't go no where.  I couldn't date.  We
didn't have much but we were happy.  I'd come home from work
every day and he'd toddle to my arms, hug me and kiss me,  tell me
he loved me and how much he missed me.  Any bad thoughts of
being trapped or a slave to him flew out the window.  It's those
moments, those brief fleeting moments that make it all worth
while."

"Would you do it again, if you had a choice?"  Red asked him.       
 

"Would I do it again?"  Boots face broke into a big grin, "Bet
your Master's ass I would.  I'd probably be in jail, prison or dead by
now if it weren't for Sonny.  You tend to keep your nose clean when
you got a kid to take care of."  Boots looked down into his glass of
beer for a minute thinking, then continued, "It wasn't like it was an
awful chore.  Granted, it was a big responsibility, but as time went
by we got into a routine. Time passed quickly and the more we
grew together the easier it got 'til today I can read his mind.  I
know exactly what he's thinking this minute."

"What's he thinkin,' Boots?" Red asked amused at Boots,
thinking he probably would know.

"The way he's looking at Cowboy's ass right now;  he don't know
nobody's looking; he's wondering how far up Cowboy's hole he
could get his tongue."  all off a sudden Sonny looked across to the
table to see his dad and Red looking right at him.  The poor kid
blushed.  To the men's amusement Sonny grabbed his crotch, got a
look of pain on his face, licked his lips as he looked at my butt 
bending over the pool table.  Red and Boots fell out laughing and I
didn't have a clue what was so funny.  Red told me later.

"You made your point, Son."  allowed Red, "Good one, too!"  Red
laughed again, "Please, go on with your story..."

"Here I was, a single scoot bum trying to raise a kid by himself.  
What was I thinking?  I should've had my head examined.  All these
years I've beat'n myself up thinking maybe the best thing would've
been to give him up for adoption to a family that could've given him
more than me."

"Don't know you well enough, Boots, but from what little I know
so far and observed about Sonny, that's bull shit, clap-trap, and hog
wash.  Sorry to be so strong in my opinion but Sonny got everything
he needed from you, and it's the only thing a kid really needs.  You
know what it is without me saying it.  He got love from you, Son. 
Love's different coming from someone that's not a  blood to blood
parent.  Believe me I know first hand. I was in and out of foster
homes 'til my big brother took me and my sister to live with him. 
He raised us."


"Thanks, Red, I hope you're right.  At least I'd like to think you
are and I hope I did the right thing by raising him myself.  I don't
know what made me do it other than I couldn't stop thinking how
I'd always wanted my dad for a friend and buddy.  He was a cold,
heartless son of a bitch; distant, always had a wall up.  I can count
on one hand the number of times he expressed joy in anything I did. 
Never hugged me; certainly never kissed me;  never told me I was a
good boy or even a bad boy. 

I use to do things to piss him off just to get his attention.  I
loved him, why couldn't he love me?  What did I do so bad the man
couldn't show me a little affection from time to time.  Damnedest
thing is,--I still love the old bastard today.  We never shared love
the way I knew it could be between a father and son.

It wasn't a sexual thing, Red;  although, I'll admit, if that's what
it would've taken to get him to show me love,  I would've gladly
done it.  I ain't never gone down on a man in my life, Red.  Don't
mean I ain't never thought about it, but I'd a' sucked my old man off
in a minute if I could just once hear him tell me he loved me."

"You're not alone in those feeling, Son.  A lot of men feel that
way about their dads." Red consoled him.

"I swore and be' damned if I ever had a kid I'd know how to love
him because my dad didn't show me no love.  I'd show the kid all
the love I didn't get. I've tried to do that with Sonny.

Sonny and I moved down to the other end of the block.  I rented
a small one bedroom apartment from these two gay men who
brought their bikes to the shop for repair.  I liked them, tried to be
fair and straight with 'em and sometimes gave 'em a break if I
could.  They wanted me'n Sonny to live there to watch their place
while they were off somewhere on their bikes.

It was on the alley on the back of their garage. They gave me a
break on the rent.  Less than half what I was paying for the dump
we were living in. They're nice guys.  I rode with 'em and we're still
friends today.  Sonny and me are staying at their motel they bought. 
Anyway, one was retired and the other was a small time
contractor. 

The neighbor lady continued to take care of Sonny until she
began to get sick and couldn't no more.  I almost went nuts trying
to figure out what I was gonna' do.  I  even considered a foster
home 'til I could make other arrangements.  

I didn't know Bob and Larry all that well at the time but they
knew something was bothering me.  Finally, they confronted me
and asked. I told them I didn't know what I was gonna' do.  They
told me, no problem, one or the other would look out for him while I
was at work.  He wasn't in diapers anymore.  He was pretty well
house broken by that time."  The two men laughed at Boots' joke. 

"Larry took care of him most of the time.  He was retired and
liked having Sonny around.  Sonny was never the kind of kid that
got on your nerves. He entertained himself most of the time. Bob
was a small time contractor and the few times Larry couldn't take
care of Sonny, Bob would take him to work with him.  He'd find a
safe place to put Sonny and he'd play there until Bob came to have
lunch with him or take him home.   


He was always happy to have somebody show him attention,
play with him but he didn't beg for it or try to suck it out of you like
I've seen other kids do.  He was happy to crawl up in your lap and
listen when the grown ups were talking.  Bob and Larry think the
world of him today.  They consider him the son they never had and
are all the time buying him shit.

When he was five I bought my first new bike. Saved my money
and paid cash for it.  I worked on 'em all day but didn't own one. 
'Course the bitch made me sell mine. With a new bike under me,---
well, you know how that goes,---road fever.  I knew I had to hit the
road. 

I didn't know if Sonny was going to adapt to life on the road but
I had to try.  If not I always had Bob and Larry to fall back on.  We'd
grown close during those five years.  They kept our place un-rented 
for almost a year to see if we might need to come back.  Finally
they rented it again.  They hated the couple that rented it, kicked
them out and left it vacant.  They'd let me and Sonny stay there
every time we came back to Bakersfield.  

When Sonny was younger, we didn't stay out too long.  We'd
circle back to Bob and Larry's and I'd go back to work at the bike
shop for a while.  They were always happy to have me back.  Bob
and Larry treated us like long lost relations every time we came
back.  So you can see why we've become attached to them. 
They're like family to us.

Sonny rode in front of me until he was old enough to hold on
behind. From the beginning he was a good little buddy rider.  I tried
not to keep him on the bike too long at first.  As he got more use to
it, he began to love it; we'd ride for miles and he'd never cry nor
complain.

I made this big safety harness that went around him, and a wide
kidney belt for me with 'D' rings on each side to hook-snap his
harness to.  We'd get harnessed together and off we'd go.  He'd get
sleepy, lean back against me and drift off to sleep.  A warm
evening, open road, not a car for miles, blue sky, fluffy clouds, not a
care in the world, the sound of my bike purring under me,  my boy
asleep against my chest, don't get much better'n that, Red.

You may not believe this, but in all these years,  I never had to
raise a hand to that kid;  never had to spank him or nothing. 
Chewed his ass out a couple of times for something he shouldn't
have done but he never did it again. It weren't nothing real bad
neither.

He's always been a good kid and even as young as he was he
tried to please and take care of me. It weren't that much of a
problem raising the little shit, he never was a burden.  Hell, we had
us some damn good times together.  He was my little buddy. 

There's nobody on this Earth that can get me laughing quicker
than that kid.  He can come up with some of the damndest shit. 
When I'm at my lowest, he knows, and in fifteen minutes can have
me rolling on the floor laughing with him. 

Bringing him up in the world of scoot bums wasn't easy.  He
didn't go to school 'cause if we'd a' stopped long enough in one
place to put him in school they'd  a' come and taken him away from
me.  I taught him to read and write.  Hell, one saddle bag was
always filled with his little story books and readers.  Taught him
enough basic math to get him through life. He knows his
multiplication tables backward and forward through the twelves.  


I even taught him his 'a fix'n to's.'  You know, I'm a' fix'n to,
you're a' fix'n to, he's a' fix'n to." Boots smiled at Red.  Red caught
on. Boots was pulling his leg.  He started laughing and so did
Boots.  "I taught him to write, too.  Not using scoot bum speak
neither.  I bought a simple basic English book at a thrift store and
learned with him. Gave myself as much or more education than I
got in school. 

It's one thing to have to go to school and gag it down,  it's a
whole 'nother ball game trying to teach it to a little one.  A lot of
times the kid learned it better'n me.  He'd correct me, then I'd have
to relearn it to save face.  Damned if you don't remember it then.  I
can speak proper when necessary but most times when you're with
friends or scoot people you don't feel like being proper.

Sonny got sick one time and we had to stay in one place for
several weeks.  We got caught in a situation and them damn do
gooder social services people were gonna' try'n take him away
from me 'cause he was truant.  California has a law say's a parent
can teach their kids at home if they want. I told them I was his
teacher and the bike was our home. They didn't believe me. They
weren't gonna' go for that.  The judge was a good man.  He could
see the love that passed between Sonny and I.  He ordered them to
test him. 

I wasn't for it 'cause Sonny never took a test in his life.  I didn't
know how he'd do.  I knew he'd learned a lot.   The truth was we
both learned a lot and I knew what he knew.  Still I was worried.  It
taught me a lesson I never forgot.  Have more faith in my kid. 
Sonny made almost a perfect score.  He  missed one question,  and 
knew more than ninety percent of the kids his age level. 

The Social Service people were pissed.  The judge laughed 'em
out of court, congratulated me and Boots and sent us on our way. 
We met the judge later.  He was  on a bike run. He was a weekend
biker and a nice man.  He was glad to see us.  Told Sonny and I he
was thrilled when the test scores came back and Sonny had aced
them.  He told Sonny he was damn proud of him and me as well.  I
figure he's got a pretty good education in people, too.

He never wandered off like most kids do.  He stuck pretty close
to me, unless someone was sitting for me so's I could have a
date; which didn't happen a lot.  You know how you see kids in a
store with a parent and it's buy me this, Mom, or buy me that.  They
scream for candy and soda pop; always hounding their parents for
everything they see. Sonny never asked me for nothing and was
always surprised and happy when I went out of my way to do
something for him.

I tried to give him as much love as I could.  Every time I thought
about my old man, I'd grab him up, kiss him, hug him, tell him what
a good boy he was, I was proud of him, and I loved him.  Still do
every now and then.

"Since the Marines I ain't never wore underwear and I never
taught him to.  Hell, it was just something extra a biker don't need.
I never let anyone make him ashamed of his body.  He'd run around
camp naked as a jay bird.  I never tried to hide myself from him
either.  We sometimes laid in the tent while he read to me.  We
wouldn't have no clothes on.  He'd be  propped up against my belly
with me reading over his shoulder to make sure he was gettin' it
right. 

We were as comfortable as could be.  If he wanted to feel me I
didn't stop him. I didn't tell him it was bad you shouldn't be doing
that.  I didn't know how he was gonna' turn out but I don't think I
turned him gay.  He told me he knew he preferred men from the age
of five.  Maybe it's 'cause he didn't have a momma, I don't know.
Tell ya' one thing.  Couldn't be prouder of him if'n he did grow up to
like cunt, marry and have fifteen kids.  He's who he wants to be.
He's well adjusted and happy. 
                                                              
One night when he was about twelve years old he thought I was
asleep and started playing with me. When he was smaller he'd
sometimes grab hold of my dick during the night and go back to
sleep.  I never pushed him away. He didn't do it as a sexual thing. If
he got scared or something frightened him, maybe a thunder storm, 
he'd hold on to my dick for comfort and go back to sleep. 
Sometimes I'd hold him in my arms all night.

When I felt him playing with me it wasn't his usual grab hold for
security.  It was different.  I didn't jump up, slap his hands away,
yell at him to stop, and maybe scare him to death.  If he was going
to be interested in men I wasn't gonna' love him any less.  Besides,
to be truthful,  it felt pretty damn good.  I hadn't had anybody touch
my old dick in so long,---well, you get the picture.   So I waited to
see what he'd do.

It was almost like he'd thought it out before hand, knew what he
was doing and why. Damned if he didn't make some pretty good
love to my old dick.  Sonny was  a' sucking away, happened to pull
the foreskin back and did his daddy surprise him?  I thought he'd
pull away in disgust, spit it out, or vomit.  He didn't.  Took me like a
little trouper.  Then cleaned me up and rolled over on his side
thinking I was still asleep.  I gently pulled him close to me, kissed
him behind his ear, and told him, "Thank's, little buddy. That was
awful nice of you.  You made daddy feel great. Did you enjoy it?" 

"Uuh-huh." was all he said and went to sleep.

I talked to him the next day. He was open and honest about it;---
answered any question I asked.  I asked him if he knew what he'd
done, did he understand it?  Yes, he understood.  He was making
my dick feel good so's I'd shoot that white stuff called 'come' and
make me feel good.  Did he feel ashamed of doing it?  No, he was
proud he could make his dad feel good and it made his own pee-pee
hard.

What did he think when I shot in his mouth?   He knew I was
going to happen 'cause  he'd overheard a biker sucking another one
off in their tent and the one getting sucked told the other 'Don't
ever ask to suck a man's dick and spit his come out.  It's bad
manners.  You just don't do it.  You swallow it and tell him how
good it was whether you liked it or not.   The man said he'd known
men who got themselves killed for doing that.'

I asked him how he knew about 'come'?  He told me he played
with himself one night and it felt better'n, better until this white
stuff shot out and made him feel wonderful.

'Don't you remember dad I told you about that white stuff that
popped out of my dick after I'd been playing with it.  You told me it
was called 'come,' and it's the stuff that gets a woman pregnant to
have a baby.' Who can remember the fifty questions he asked
yesterday, let alone two weeks ago?

He said he wanted to make me feel that way.  Did he enjoy the
experience?  Oh yes.  Best  tasting stuff he'd ever had in his mouth;
tasted like his dad; wanted as much as I'd let him have.  After half
a dozen times, the kid got pretty damn good.  He learned real quick,
with out me telling him, what he could do to make me feel really
good.  I was getting sexually satisfied after many years of devoting
my life to him and denying myself sex.  I let him do it because the
more I enjoyed it the more he seemed to enjoy doing it for me. 

I didn't let him have it every night. I'd let him do it as a special
treat for both of us;  maybe  something he did for me, his birthday,
my birthday, holidays,  or a Sunday afternoon if we were laying
around not doing anything.  It got to where he wanted to celebrated
every damn holiday from ground hogs day to arbor day. When he
insisted on celebrating Cinco de Mayo and Bastille day I put my
foot down."  I heard my Master almost choke on his beer laughing. 
So was Boots.

"Can't say's I didn't have some guilt about whether or not I was
doing the right thing, Red, but I decided to let nature take it's
course. I'm not real sure any more what 'the right thing' means. 
What's right for one man may not be right for another. There's all
sorts of variables.  My guilt came from the fact I enjoyed it and I
was too weak to put a stop to it.

I hadn't been with a woman in four or five years so I wasn't as
opposed to it as I might have been if I'd been with a woman at the
time.  Once in a great while, some Master would take pity on me
and order his slave to take me to his tent and give me a blow job.  I
always enjoyed getting my dick sucked.  Didn't matter what sex it
was.   A warm mouth's better'n a cold hand.   

I had a feeling, though,  if Sonny wasn't getting it from me he
might try'n get it from some dirty, hard nosed, uptight, redneck
biker.  If Sonny ask to suck his dick,  the guy might kill him.  I've
seen it happen before."

"Unfortunately, Boots, so have I."  Red allowed.

"I told him, as much as I knew, about sex.  When you try to
explain it to a kid you realize how much you don't know.  I talked to
him about men and women, men and men, women with women,
from the time he was about five or six,  but never tried to make one
more preferable than the other.

I kept talking to him about sex from time to time so's he
wouldn't learn it from some kid who would make him think anything
he preferred was dirty or unnatural. If he had any questions he was
never afraid to ask,  and  ask he did.  My God, that kid would ask 
me the same damn question fifteen different ways to make sure he
understood something completely.

I had a chance to go with a woman after Sonny had been
sucking me off for about a year or more.  Sonny knew what we
were gonna' do. He told me to go ahead,  it was all right with him. 
He understood,  I needed that 'cause I wasn't like him;  but,  he
wanted me to know how much he loved and appreciated  letting
him have what he needed from me.

I got cleaned up, was all ready to go meet this woman, went to
tell him goodbye, hugged and kissed him, told him I'd be back early
and left the tent.  I got all the way to my bike and discovered I
forgot my wallet. I went back to get it, and found my boy with his
face in a pillow sobbing his heart out.  My kid loved his old man
enough he wanted him to have what he needed.  I realized, even
though it broke his heart,  he would've  never said a word.


I felt like a son of a bitch. I didn't know why at the time.  I do
now, but then I didn't.  I only knew,  I couldn't go with that woman
if the continuation of the human race was at stake.  I didn't think it
would upset him.  He seemed to encourage me to go with her.  To
an adult it could've been tossed off as a roll in the hay.  To Sonny it
was a major rejection even though he was trying to be grown up
and let me go with his blessing.

He provided me with sex and I was exclusive with him for
almost two years.  What was I thinking?  Of course he'd be upset
and hurt.  It said to him,  'Well, you're a great kid to get my rocks
off but I need more than you.'  It would've been different if I'd put
the kibosh on him sucking me off at the beginning. I didn't 'cause I
was weak. I realized I couldn't do that to him.  No matter how I
loved him or he loved me, we loved each other and you don't do
that to someone you love.  

"Well, since were being honest here,  I did the same damn thing
to that beautiful man playing pool with your boy.  Worst mistake of
my fucking life, Boots.  Ordered him to go have sex with a good
looking guy he'd befriended.  He begged me not to order him to do
it 'cause he only wanted me, his Master.  I forced him to so's I
could get my dick in this little scoot trash that was a true piece of
shit.

Cowboy came back to the tent earlier than I expected and found
me fucking him.  Never saw such pain and hurt in a man's eyes in
my life, Boots.  I saw my world crumbling before my eyes.  He gave
me another chance.  Told me he didn't have a choice in the matter,
God told him he had to swallow his pride and ride with me.  I
believe him.  You'd have to know more about Cowboy to know why.
So you didn't go with the woman?" 

"I sent a buddy to beg off for me, apologize and tell her my kid
was sick; I had to stay with him. I took him in my arms, comforted
him, told him not to cry, and I loved him.  I wasn't upset with him,  I
just decided not to go. I guess it was at that moment I discovered
I'd fallen in love with my own son. Ain't never been with a woman
since, Red.

"That's quite a story, Boots."



End Chapter 15~ Booger Red & Cowboy
Copyright 2003 Waddie Greywolf