Collect the Kids by Karen Blayne

Oh by the way red tape first.

Be warned these short stories contain mature content or naughty bits and as such may corrupt you if you’re under 12, 16, 18, 21 or 25 depending where you live thus they are not suitable for you so put them back on the shelf and let them age for a year or two.

They were sort of scribbled for fun. They were first posted on asstr.org. If you’ve paid money for this book just be aware the author has not received any payment. In fact no one has permission to charge money for this book and copyright is retained by the author.  Asstr.org accepts donations if you’re feeling rich or even if you’re not.

Luv Karen

Two small giggling girls dived under his desk the tallest held her finger to her lips “Sh! we’re hiding from daddy” they curled up and giggled quietly to themselves and a large teddy bear they’d carried with them.  He quickly sent an email to Miss Caruthers and had one back.  “Glad they’re safe I’ll make some suitable arrangements shortly.”   She dropped by his office with a small tray containing a plate of sandwiches, a mug of coffee and glass of milk with two straws.   “Your morning snack sir.”  She said with a twinkle in her eye and a deaf ear to the giggles coming from below his desk.  As she left a small plaintive voice said “Do I get a snack?”  “Well you could share mine I suppose.”  Two heads popped up and they shared a glass of milk to the last drop.  “Oh we’ve drunk all your milk.  You’ll have to have that nasty coffee stuff, you don’t mind too much do you?”  He admitted he didn’t and they shared the sandwiches between them before the two girls crawled under his desk and fell asleep.  Miss Caruthers came to collect them an hour later when they were just waking up.  “Bye, we like you, you’re nice.”

They dropped by his office a few times after that when their dad was in a meeting; Miss Caruthers arranged a pair of pillows on the floor under his desk and one or two small toys found their way into his filing cabinet.

He hadn’t seen them for a month or two but thought no more about it until Miss Caruthers slid quietly into his office one day.  “A royal command from on high, your presence is required at the big house this evening dress formal.”  “Pardon?”  “I know no more but the gossip is there are three young ladies from overseas staying and I think you’re to even up the numbers.”  He looked doubtful “Just take the rest of the day off, buy an outfit, tuxedo, shirt, shoes, the lot and let me have the receipts, I’ll arrange a cab to pick you up at six.” He looked even more doubtful “When the request comes from the top floor there is no choice so be a good boy and be on your best behavior.”   He gave her his best boy scout salute.

He rang the bell and was greeted by a dark haired girl “Brett?” she asked he nodded and she stepped forward to kiss him on the lips then after kissing him cocked her head slightly then leaned in for a second slightly deeper kiss.  “Do I meet with your complete approval?”  He asked “Well I could be greedy and try another but I think you’ll do.”  Bemused he allowed himself to be led into a reception room where he was looked over by an elderly dame.  “I’ll say one thing for my granddaughters they have good taste.”  He looked confused “Chloe and Hailey, I understand they used to hide in your office?”  Enlightenment, “I must confess I haven’t seen them for a day or two are they well?”  “As well as can be expected but their parents took them off to Europe and had an accident so I’d like you to collect my two grandchildren.”  His horror at the idea must have shown on his face.  “Great Aunt we can talk about business later but food is now ready to be served if everyone would like to step this way.  I’m Yaffa by the way and these are my friends Yehudit and Rebecca.”  “You can call me Judith if that’s easier.” commented Yehudit.

The goulash was delicious, the wine flowed freely, and at Brett’s prompting the Grand Dame told them scandalous tales of her youth, and Brett was nudged into telling them about his work which consisted of looking for details that would save time or money.  He glanced down at his watch and noticed it was getting rather late.  For some reason he noticed only he and the Grand Dame took cream in their coffee.   “Well that was delicious Yaffa, you’ll make some lucky man a good wife sometime.”  Yaffa stuck her tongue out.  “Ignore her Brett.”  “Now perhaps we can talk about Chloe and Hailey.”  “I know you’re anxious about them but you’re looking tired and perhaps if Yaffa explains to Brett what his role will be he’ll be happy to fall in with our plans.” Yaffa turned to Brett “The problem is I’m happy to go and collect them but they don’t know me, in fact the only person we could think of who is available and they would be comfortable with is yourself and I’d feel reassured to have you along.”  He caught an odd fleeting expression on Rebecca’s face at this but thought no more of it at the time.  She led him into the living room, Brett had an idea he was travelling across the pond one way or another but thought at least a token protest was in order.  “I’m really a home bird who doesn’t like travelling, a minimum risk sort of person.”  Yaffa sat him down in an arm chair after putting some easy listening on curled up in his lap stroking his arm lightly.

“It’s late I really ought to be getting home.”  “I’m sure the last bus has gone so we’d better find you a bed upstairs.”  Last bus, he didn’t even think they ran buses in this neighbourhood.

“I forgot to put out the clean sheets for the spare room, you don’t mind sharing with me tonight do you?”  Yaffa asked fluttering her eye lashes as she took him by the hand and led him uncomplaining through a bed room door and onwards towards a double bed that had the covers drawn back exposing satin sheets.  He hesitated for a moment then mentally accepted one way or other he’d be travelling soon so he might just as well enjoy the moment so he scooped her up and carried her to the bed kicking the door too behind him.  Besides he wanted to see if the next kiss would be as yummy as the last.

He awoke to find Yaffa placing a tray down on the bedside table.  “Bacon and egg sandwich with coffee?”  “I could get used to this.”  He murmured pulling her back into bed besides him.  He started to eat his way into the sandwich when she asked him “Can I try a nibble?”  He held it out and she sampled it as if it was some strange exotic dish.  “Interesting, don’t mention to the others I tried a nibble will you.”  She leant in and kissed him on the lips.  He’d just finished his breakfast in bed when his mobile rang.  Miss Caruthers was on the line and moments later so was Hailey.   “We’d like to come home please, can you come and fetch us?”  “I’m on the way.”  Yaffa perked up “Was that who I think it was?”  “Hailey.”  “Better get moving then, your place first to pick up your passport then the airport.”  She gathered her things together in a nylon carryon bag then quickly emailed Miss Caruthers “We’re on, can you make the arrangements?  Tovah might be a useful contact.” as he got dressed

After a very short drive they climbed into one of their freight company’s small planes with four propellers that was normally used for cargo and the occasional passenger to remote sites.   He was surprised to see Rebecca and Yehudit in the cockpit piloting.  It was only when they had been flying for more than an hour that Brett, on finishing his e-book, asked which airport they were flying to.  “Oh we’re taking Betsey directly there.”  “But I thought these small planes didn’t have the range?”  “Well we have a large fuel tank in the cargo bay so that doubles our range.  We can just stop off for fuel in Canada, Greenland, Ireland no big deal, just takes a bit longer than a jet, but you avoid security so it works out much the same, besides the nearest airport at the other end only takes small planes like Betsey.”

When they arrived in Greenland there was a message from Miss Caruthers saying she was still putting together a plan.  Tovah suggested talking to Megan since she had lots of contacts.    Eventually all the bits came together but there were complications could she help another stranded business man and his wife who were stranded?  Oh and there was a change of flight plan, if they’d just like to fly directly towards Spain?

“Brett could you come and help us?”  Brett stepped into the cockpit, “We’re getting a bit low of gas so keep an eye out and see if you can spot the gas station Miss Caruthers has arranged, it’s a sort of container ship.”  Brett looked out across the ocean and eventually spotted something in the distance.  “Over there?”  He pointed, “But we can’t land so how can we refuel?”  Yaffa used the radio to announce their presence and shortly afterwards a helicopter took off from the ship.  Brett was still puzzled.  “Relax, it’s called in flight refueling, we slow down, they speed up and we connect into the fuel pipe they have dangling behind.”  Yaffa guided the probe on the plane into the receptacle dangling on the long pipe.  It only took a few minutes to refuel and then they were away.  Brett looked down at the swelling seas buffeting the large ship below.  “How are they going to land?”   “Well the theory is you drop the winch cable, attach it to the deck then winch yourself down.”  Brett was thankful they didn’t have to land on a rolling container ship.

They hopped from Spain to North Africa, where they eventually landed at an airstrip in the Libyan Desert.  Brett was surprised that there even was a hotel when they walked across to spend the night.  At the end of the meal Yehudit asked “Do you want him before us or after?”  “Calm down, they’re short of rooms so we’ll have to share a room with two double beds anyway.  The girls deserve a certain amount of relaxation after all the flying they’ve done so far and since there are three of us we’ll do our best not to totally exhaust you.”  Brett found himself lying back on a double bed surrounded by three girls and different toys.  He felt exhausted trying to keep up with Yehudit and Rebecca as they were surprisingly fit even after they had warmed themselves up with the toys.  Yaffa was gentler with him and he relaxed more and enjoyed her body much more.

“I’ve offered a lift to some acquaintances of Tovah but they aren’t very chatty, it’s best if you just ignore them.”  Mentioned Yaffa as they walked up to their little plane that was having its identification numbers obscured with light blue paint on the underside, the upper wing surface was already repainted a sandy sort of colour.  A girl stepped out carrying a set of boxes topped by a military helmet which she handed to Brett.  “One set of non synthetic clothing and body amour.”  Yaffa stepped behind her and lifted out another for herself.  The big fuel tank had been lifted out and a fork lift truck was busy loading three pallets through the Dash 7’s over sized cargo door.  Makeshift gun mounts were being fitted just inside the door.  Brett was feeling nervous as he watched.  The silent military types were seated in the extra seats which had been placed in behind the cockpit. “Just where are we going?”  “Syria, it’s less than an hour’s flight as the crow flies.”  “I don’t think I’m very good at the Rambo stuff so won’t be much protection.”  The girl who had just handed him his body armour snorted.  “Yaffa, until recently a member of the Israeli military elite needing protection, that’s a good joke, wait until I tell the others.”  Brett looked enquiringly at her.  “You’re on vacation remember, this is not an official mission.”  “Yes sergeant!”  she snapped back.  Yaffa turned back to Brett “I need you to reassure the girls when we arrive.  The plane is larger than I’d prefer but at least it’s a type the girls have flown before.”  Brett looked at the fork lift loading the pallets into the helicopter.  “Oh those, two are medical supplies and the third is just a few ATMs.”  He didn’t even want to ask what an ATM was.

They set off with Brett and Yaffa sat in blue coloured seats that folded down from the side.  Yaffa kept him distracted as much as she could by unbuttoning his shirt and running her fingers over his chest and kissing him at the same time but even he noticed when the plane approached the ground then seemed to hedge hop changing direction from time to time.  “Normal practice, we don’t have the correct visa’s so we’ll fly in low and fast then pick up the girls then we’re away.”  “Won’t they hear us coming?”  “The Dash 7 was specially designed for landing in city centers with noise restrictions so with four large slow moving propellers we’re about the quietest aircraft there is and that’s why we brought Betsy with us.  Plus she can land practically anywhere.”  She turned on the screen and pointed out to him the highway on which they were going to land.  “When we arrive you grab the two girls get them back on the plane sitting in these blue seats and that’s all that matters”.  “Blue seats?”  “They’re the only ones besides the pilots that are amoured.”  Brett felted a slight sense of unease.  “Relax it’s a quick flight to Dubai then four first class seats back to North America.  Yehudit and Rebecca will simply fly back to Tel Aviv after their vacation, the Dash 7 will be used for discreet trips into Syria by our silent friends over there.  If there’s any problems when we land they’ll make sure we’re safe.”

As they flew in closer red circles appeared on the screen.  Yaffa unclipped her seat belt and took up a position on one machine gun, Yehudit stepped out of the cockpit and manned the other.  He hadn’t realised just how loud a machine gun could be as the two guns hammered away at suspected opposition sites.  Then they were down on the ground.  Yaffa sprang out of the door and dashed to the rear of the plane, a fork lift truck appeared from nowhere.  He stepped out and saw two helmets in the distance and a gun pointing their way.  He stepped back to the aircraft and swung the door mounted machine gun towards the helmets and opened fire until they disappeared.  One of the local fighters came up and took over the machine gun from him so he could dash to the nearby doorway where he could see the two girls.  “Off we go, let’s get you and teddy safely into the aircraft.”  They ran across the open ground and he lifted them in and swung in behind them.  Glancing out of the door he noticed the silent soldiers had deployed to protect the aircraft.

A pair of pickup trucks came roaring up and four stretchers from the first and three from the second were loaded through the cargo door, a mini-bus arrived and soon more injured people were helped aboard.  Three elderly Americans and two business men were helped in then they were once more moving down the highway and shortly afterwards they were in the air, hedge hopping their way into the distance. 

“Have you got any ice cream?”  “Not at the moment but we’ll get you some soon.”  “That means he hasn’t.”  “We haven’t had any for ages, not since mummy and daddy went to heaven.”  Brett looked across at Yaffa “When do we reach ice cream territory?”  “In about an hour or two but we have to drop off some of our passengers at a hospital first.”  “Can you wait an hour or two?”  “Guess so.”  “Brett would you be our new daddy?”  Yaffa grinned at him over the girls heads.  “What about your grandma?”  “Would you want to live with our grandma?”  Yaffa was struggling to keep a straight face.  “Perhaps not but my house isn’t big enough and I’m not married so don’t have a wife to act as mummy.”  The two girls looked at each other “Since we now own the company we could tell Miss Caruthers to give Brett a big pay rise and to tell him he’s our new daddy, and we have a big enough house any way.”  “Yes but we need a mummy as well.”  Three pairs of eyes turned to look at Yaffa speculatively.