The Oaks Nursing Home by Karen Blayne

Oh by the way red tape first.

Be warned these short stories contain mature content or naughty bits and as such may corrupt you if you’re under 12, 16, 18, 21 or 25 depending where you live thus they are not suitable for you so put them back on the shelf and let them age for a year or two.

They were sort of scribbled for fun. They were first posted on asstr.org. If you’ve paid money for this book just be aware the author has not received any payment. In fact no one has permission to charge money for this book and copyright is retained by the author. All copies must be of the complete document. Asstr.org accepts donations if you’re feeling rich or even if you’re not.

Luv Karen

Background for non UK residents, in the UK when you die if you own more than £350,000 then death duties are 40% over this amount. If you give it away then survive seven years then it doesn’t count. There are more rules and taxes on making gifts of more than £250 but that’s another story. Southport is a gentile seaside resort in the north west of England, in Lancashire fashionable around 1890, close to Liverpool and Manchester. Many people used to retire there but currently Lichfield and other inland towns are becoming more popular. Most reasonable care homes have waiting lists. First class letters get delivered next day any where in the country.

“So do you think he’ll last two more years?” “Hard to say but I think the loss of his wife has hit him hard, at the moment he seems to have lost the will to live and without that he won’t last very long.” “The difference in death duties will be 60 million.” “I can’t help you I’m afraid unless he finds a reason to live or a purpose in life I’d give him a month or two. I’m afraid I have other patients to see to so if you don’t mind I’ll continue with them.” The doctor stepped away and Andrew turned away in frustration.

Andrew questioned the receptionist about care or nursing homes since most he’d spoken to had waiting lists. “Well you could try up north around Southport. Nursing homes have a better ratio of staff to residents, The Oaks Nursing Home has a good reputation, I think he’d be comfortable there and they have succeeded once or twice in giving people the will to live.” Andrew took the phone number down and rang them. They had a vacant room so would be willing to accept him immediately.

Jennifer called Mark the owner “We’ve a new arrival whose son would like him to be alive in two years time and is quite happy to pay four times our normal rate. He has offered us £6 million bonus if we manage to keep him alive for two years. There doesn’t seem to be anything medically wrong with him other than grief over his wife’s death. I’m not sure what to think, the room next to his is empty so we could set him up with a suite? I suspect a couple of young nurses might do the trick but it wouldn’t be ethical though would it.” “Didn’t you mention interviewing two last week who’d just qualified as SRNs? Hold back 10% of the bonus for us and let them have 90%, you can always see what they say.”

Heather and Christine were sat in the office having been called in by Jennifer the manager. “So let’s get this straight if he’s still alive in two years time we get a bonus of £5.4 million tax free payable off shore?” “In a nutshell yes.” “What’s wrong with him terminal cancer?” “No he’s just deeply depressed at the moment.” “You can either do all the care 7/24 yourself or I can add in more staff but the bonus gets split up between the staff.” “What happens if we’re sick?” “Well I’ll trade you shifts, if you’ll cover the occasional night shift for the home I’ll trade you an equal number of shifts if you’re sick.” Jennifer crossed her fingers, weekend night shifts were always tricky to cover. There was a knock at the door and Amy put her head round “There’s an ambulance at the door with some geezer in a wheel chair.” “Amy do step in and meet Heather and Christine. This is Amy by the way, she joined us last week and as a trainee carer I feel she might a good addition to your team.” “What she means is I know how to use a vacuum cleaner.” “I suggest 10%?” Christine looked at Amy carefully, well someone had to do the cleaning, “OK the deal is you join the team and if our geezer as you call him lasts two years you get a bonus of £500,000.” “From the look of him he ain’t going to last two days, still I’m in for double pay.” Everyone looked at Jennifer, “Agreed double the minimum wage per hour and you work directly for Christine and Heather.” “And the bonus if he don’t croak?” She held her hand out to Heather who agreed and they shook hands on it. “Best roll him inside then before it rains on our goose that lays the golden egg. Which of the empty rooms is he having?” “Both.” “Wow that valuable is he, I’d better go and wheel him in.”

“Hi Granddad, I’m Amy, welcome to your new home.” She got no reaction at all but pushed him inside anyway. She left Christine and Heather to assess him and get him comfortable whilst she arranged for the furniture to be rearranged in the second room. Hours later she came back only to find the two nurses were having difficulties getting him to eat anything. “We’ve got to get some nourishment down him.” “Feeding tube?” “It’s a bit drastic, it sort of hints at failure before we’ve started.” They turned to Amy “Any ideas?” “Hang on half a jiffy, I’ll be back.”

Amy descended to the kitchens and dug in the cupboard until she found the jar of organic honey she’d spotted the week before. Triumphantly she returned to the bedroom. “Here it is I knew I’d seen it somewhere. Now take your blouse off.” Heather looked at her blankly. You want him to get some calories down him don’t you?” Heather nodded. “Well then take your blouse off.” “You could take off yours?” “OK but then I want a full share of the bonus.” Mystified Heather took her blouse off revealing a pretty low cut bra underneath. Amy caught the first signs of interest from Granddad. “Bra as well.” Heather complied and Amy took a spoonful of honey and poured it over her breast. “Ohh its cold.” Heather’s nipple stood out proudly. “Just push your nipple in between his lips.” Heather turned bright red. “You want him to take some nourishment don’t you?” Heather nodded and lifted her nipple so it brushed against his lips. “Oh he’s parting his lips. I can feel his tongue licking my nipple.” Amy took a look at her deep flush and thought you’re getting turned on by this aren’t you. Granddad definitely was. She poured a little more honey onto Heather’s other breast and Heather switched round to feed Granddad from the other nipple. Amy bent down by granddad and whispered quietly in his ear “Run your hand up her skirt, she won’t object you know.” Granddad winked at her and slipped his hand up Heather’s thigh, moving it against her thin panties as he continued to suckle. Christine looked dispassionately on, “I think you’re winning on both fronts, getting him to eat and he’s taking an interest in his surroundings. Well done. I’ll write it up in his assessment.”

Amy slipped away, they wouldn’t miss her and she knew that Moppi’s had a sale on and she wanted to get in first. Not that she could afford very much but it was nice to pretend and you never know with her new pay packet she might be able to buy one or two nice things. She found a scandalous wedding night dress at the very back of one of the bargain rails at 90% off and she just wasn’t very good at resisting 90% off bargains. She haggled them down to half the marked price when she saw the matching knickers had a flaw in the material.

On the way back her head full of the latest fashion trends from Liverpool and even as far away as London she stopped off at the Dolphin fish and chip shop and since she hadn’t had lunch she brought a take away double portion cod, chips and mushy peas. Wrapped in paper they’d keep hot until she got back to the Nursing home.

On her return she found the two newly qualified nurses trying to persuade granddad to eat something of his well balanced evening meal. Amy took a look, three types of green vegetables, it looked distinctly unappetizing to her. She swore she’d never grow old so someone would feed her such rubbish. When they gave up she went and perched on his lap and opened up her fish and chips. She munched the first two chips then slipped one between his lips. As he showed more interest she fed him chunks of cod in batter as well as the chips. “Get that down you, it’ll do you good.” “You can’t feed him that rubbish, he needs five fresh vegetables, and fried food is the very worst thing you can feed him.” Granddad defiantly put his head forward for another morsel of fried fish in batter. “There some mushy peas here as well, they’re vegetable ain’t they?” Amy fed granddad a fork full of mushy peas. Christine looked in horror at her charge eating the wrong food and then back at Heather. “At least he’s eating it’s something to write down in the dairy.” They turned and left Amy to it whilst they went to write up their assessment reports.

“We could have some real fun with those two stuck up nurses you know. Imagine them in scanty clothes or with one of those mechanical penises vibrating up their bum. If only we had a bit of money to spend.” “If I supply the funds could you do the rest?” Granddad whispered hoarsely. “You mean do them properly?” He nodded, “You’d have to look a bit bleaker and not too eager, and keep your hands to yourself for a bit, think you could do that?” He nodded once more. “Have the last bit of fish then.” He scribbled a note and gave it to her, “Post that, 1^st class stamp mind, as soon as you can.”

The two nurses came back in “Finished it all have you?” “Aye but I fancy a spot of honey to follow.” He looked directly at Christine’s left breast. “Nurse Sandwell I think we’re seeing some improvement in that he is taking some interest in his surroundings and he’s making a request, best humour him. I’ll go and write it up whilst you feed him some honey?” Heather slipped out of the room with a big grin on her face. Amy stepped forward with the jar of honey and unzipped Christine’s dress at the back.

Christine turned bright red and looked directly at granddad. “You’d better make it through the two years or I’ll personally kill you.” She unhooked her bra and slid the straps off her shoulders exposing her creamy white breasts. Amy trying hard to keep a straight face had a spoonful of honey poured on to the first in double quick time, and granddad soon had Christine’s nipple erect with his lapping tongue.

It was late evening when Amy asked which of the two girls was taking the night shift. They looked at each other in horror. “One of us should have been sleeping during the day.” “Well what I suggest is since it’s a double bed that you sleep with granddad tonight and if he needs you he can just nudge you.” “You mean sleep on the job?” “Well it’s more being there on call I think.” “I haven’t a night dress and all my clothes are back at the flat.” “Heather could bring you a change in the morning and I picked up a night dress in the sale today you could borrow. I’ll leave it here on the table in the bag and see you both in the morning, bye, there’s a bus due in like three minutes.” Amy scurried out of the door followed by Heather.

Granddad undressed and put on his pyjamas before slipping between the sheets, turning his back to the middle of the bed. Christine stepped into the other room and got changed quickly with the lights out then quietly slipped into bed besides him. Granddad closed his eyes and went to sleep. Christine took a little longer to relax but eventually the long eventful day was enough to send her to sleep.

Next morning when she was half asleep she rolled over and bumped into a muscular back and not thinking snuggled up thinking she was in bed with her old boy friend. Granddad slipped his arm round her and gave her a kiss on her forehead. She kept her eyes closed and carried on her half awake dream. There was a knock at the door then in waltzed Heather followed by Amy. “Sleep well?” Heather asked as Christine suddenly fully waking up sat up in bed and realised just how little Amy’s sheer night dress concealed . She grabbed the sheet and held it in front of her before dashing out of the room to get dressed. Granddad wisely didn’t make a comment as he watched her bum through sheer material.

“I thought a little muesli with skimmed milk for breakfast this morning.” Heather announced as she brought the bowl in and set it on the table in front of him. Granddad took one look at it and turned away. Heather tried offering a spoonful to his lips but he wasn’t having any. Christine came back looking more professional and tried to cajole him into eating his breakfast. Twenty minutes later they were still at it and granddad hadn’t eaten a thing when Amy waltzed in carrying two oval platters covered with fried bread, two eggs, three rashers of bacon, two slices of black pudding and a generous helping of tinned tomatoes. “Wotcher, you want to get yourself outside this little lot. Tuck in.” Granddad’s eyes opened wide and he grabbed a knife and fork. Christine protested “You can’t feed him that its full of nitrates and things besides all that fried food is bad for him.” Heather’s pupils had widened as much as granddad’s and Amy glanced at her before offering “Here scoff this I’ll go down and do another couple, I assume you’d like some?” she said glancing at Christine. “It’s years since I’ve had a breakfast like that.” Christine said wistfully “Best not keep you waiting any longer then had I? Granddad see if you can spare her a rasher of bacon and an egg to keep her from starving until I get back, you can always steal them back from her plate.”

The four of them were slated when a knock was heard at the door and in marched a most professionally dressed personal assistant. “Mr. Hudson the answer to my prayers.” “I’ve retired.” “Yes well that’s as maybe but there are lots of rumours going around and Pooley thinks he can get the better of us now you’re no longer active. So I’ve brought along a lap top so he can see you’re still involved.” She turned to the girls, can we get him into a shirt and tie and looking as if he has a bit of life in him?” Amy dug in the wardrobe and came out with a white shirt and out of curiosity looked at the label to see if it was Marks & Spencer or some lesser brand. Harvie and Hudson Jermyn Street London, well it wasn’t Petticoat Lane that was for sure. Granddad was soon dressed in his business shirt and tie. Miss Thomas decided that since Skype’s camera would only show him above the waist trousers weren’t unnecessary. “Good, but he really looks life less can’t we perk him up somehow?” As Amy slipped her hand in his pyjama bottoms and gave granddad a hand job, he certainly perked up and started to show signs of life. Miss Thomas took a seat opposite and as she sat down her skirt which had been a demure knee length took on a life of its own as she crossed her legs and gave granddad a show of stocking covered thigh with just a glimpse of stocking top. “That’s certainly bringing back some colour to his cheeks, I should have remembered he’s partial to a glimpse of stocking top. Now then I’ve made a few notes here which this young lady can hold by the side of the screen.” She passed two sheets to Christine and set the lap top up.

“Mr. Pooley? Here’s Mr. Hudson to address your concerns.” She stepped back and turned the lap top so the built in camera showed Mr. Hudson’s head and shoulders. Granddad looked at the figures on the sheet. “What sort of game are you trying to pull? You’re offering a bare 8% of what the property’s worth and you know it.” The two men haggled and settled at a price that was eight times the original offer. After the video call Mr. Hudson sat back in the chair exhausted. Heather had been going to interrupt the call as she feared it was too much strain on him. “You really mustn’t expect him to do that again.” She exclaimed. “Nonsense! I’ll not be done out of 40 million by the likes of Pooley.” Amy was in shock, 40 million for a ten minute video meeting, she heard Miss Thomas’s voice, “I think we can spare one for the young lady who showed initiative in getting him to perk up a bit. I’ll arrange for a trip to the island in two years time so you can receive it tax free.” Amy looked puzzled, “If you earn the money whilst staying on the island you don’t get taxed on it, and the tax on a million is rather substantial.” Amy slowly sat down on the chair behind her trying to take it all in. A million for a hand job, she thought she might get used to that rate of pay over time. She glanced at the others, how much were they getting if there was so much money on the table?

“Now I gather you all understand the importance of Mr. Hudson living another two years so I’m sure you won’t take it amiss when I point out that your nurse’s uniform although immensely practical is a little shall we say dowdy? Amy is it?” She looked at Amy directly, “Please ask Jeannine to step inside.” She waited until Jeannine was in the room, “Perhaps you could come up with something a little more fashionable? For all three? If you step into the other room Jeannine can take your measurements, and afterwards perhaps Amy could accompany her back to her home to sort out the details.” Miss Thomas took Amy to one side “I personally think that all he needs is a purpose in life. He can do the occasional meeting over Skype but he needs something else to take an interest in. The nurses mentioned basket weaving or stamp collecting but I don’t think either will appeal, have a think and see what you can come up with.”

Amy looked at the large Victorian house, “It’s a little out of fashion but very reasonably priced for Jacques and myself. Jacques is an engineer and so we must go where there is work. I trained in Paris so it’s much easier for me, I have my regular clients and the irregular much more profitable ones.” Amy glanced at her “Oh you must understand the irregular ones are invariably one with rich elderly gentlemen with very specific tastes, and often they are young and very beautiful so it’s fun to work with them. Your two associates seem a little snobbish or stiff would you say? I think we’ll start them with something elegant but not too out of character then later we can dress them in a more risqué manner. Nurses are they not? perhaps something in a candy stripe and flared skirt, retro for the older rich man’s taste buds and you are a maid of sorts are you not? We can make his blood run warm with one or two outfits I think, one or two risqué traditional French maid outfits, but I have some pale blue silk that would be just your colour, white stockings and a bouffant lacy petticoat. Tiens! we must to work.”

They entered the first reception room which Jeannine had set up as a workshop. Amy helped set up the three dressmakers dummies each to the size of one of the girls. Jeannine draped different materials across her shoulders in front of the full length mirror to see which would look best on her.

In her new risqué dress Amy bent forward to dust and flash him with her seamed white stockings and underwear. She turned her head and looked at him over her shoulder, “You dirty old man.” He grinned back at her. “I think that should be your new purpose in life, to see just how far we can push those two stuck up nurses. Fancy your tongue up between their legs do you, or we could try to coax them into shoving a vibrator up their fanny, Miss Thomas says if we can get you a bit brighter we could move you to an off shore island where you’d be king and no restrictions at all over what you could do to them.” She gave him a kiss on his forehead.