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The Chemistry of Cock and Cunt
At Greg's first chapter meeting, the president announced the annual "Sweetest Pussy" contest. Everyone puts in $100 — Winner take all. With 60 some members of the fraternity, the pot was nothing to sneeze at. The rules were fairly straightforward. One photo per fraternity member—cropped to show nothing but pussy.
"How will we know the photos are genuine?" one pledge wanted to know.
The president smiled. "There's a verification procedure. Trust me, you don't want to be the guy whose pussy fails the verification."
"Yeah, but who does this verification? And for that matter, how is the winner decided?"
"The officers vote, but we all get to verify."
"In person?"
"Yup, at the winner-take-all party. You'll see."
Greg didn't have a spare hundred and he didn't have a girlfriend, and the deadline was only a week away.
Three days later he still hadn't figured out what to do. During the chem lab on reversible reactions he spilled a beaker of reagent. The liquid flowed over his neighbor Amelia's notebook, sizzling the ink into illegibility.
"Hey," she shouted.
"Sorry, sorry, I'm so sorry. I guess I've been a little nervous or something."
The girl seemed flustered. "Can you...? Will it...?"
Greg mopped the soggy page. "Ruined," he said. "I'm so sorry. But you're still doing last week's experiment, right? You can copy my notes if you want."
"That's okay," she said, "I'm not a copycat." But as they were leaving the lab, Amelia told Greg maybe she would like to copy his notes after all. Could he stop over at her sorority house after dinner? Greg readily agreed.
That evening, seated at a table in the sorority lounge, Amelia said to Greg, "You're normally so sure-handed."
"Like I said, I'm kind of nervous about something."
"What?"
"Nothing. It's just something at the house."
"What?"
"It's kind of embarrassing."
"Oh, then you've got to tell me. I love embarrassing stuff."
"We're having like a contest," Greg said.
"Go on. What kind of contest?"
Greg blushed.
"C'mon, say. You can tell me. I'm your lab partner, aren't I?"
"Prettiest Pussy," Greg blurted.
Amelia frowned. "Pussy? You mean...?"
Greg nodded.
Amelia's frown turned to a smile. She shook her head. "You guys!"
"Yeah, and also everyone needs to put in a hundred dollars, which I don't have." Greg explained the rest of the rules. "Plus I don't even have a girlfriend. And even if I did, I wouldn't... I couldn't..."
"This is such a scam," Amelia said. "It discriminates against gays."
"I'm not gay," Greg said.
"Whatever," Amelia said. "But don't you see, they're pulling a fast one on you pledges. They just want to see who's gullible enough to submit a picture. And who's stupid enough to hand over a hundred dollars."
"You think?"
Amelia's grin widened. "I'm sure of it."
"Oh," Greg said.
"Yeah, and it's too bad." Amelia winked. "If it were for real, we could win a lot of money."
"You mean you'd... you'd...? For real?"
"Sure I would," Amelia declared. "Trust me, I have a very pretty pussy."
Greg's eyes went wide.
"What's wrong, cat got your tongue?"
"No, it's just..."
"Want me to prove it?"
"No," Greg said. "I mean, sure. I mean, uh, I'm sure you have, but I, but you... but..."
"Come on up to my room," Amelia said.
Some minutes later Amelia was lying back on her bed. "What do you think?" she asked.
"Wow," Greg said. "It's... You're... I... You're beautiful."
"You don't think the lips are too small?"
"No, they're perfect."
"Or my slit is too long."
"No, it's perfect. It couldn't be any more perfect."
"Would you like to taste it?" Amelia asked. "If you tasted it, that might make it even more perfecter."
An hour or so later, Greg asked, "So does this mean you're like, um, my girlfriend?"
"Of course it does, silly."
"That's so great."
"Are you going to take the picture now? I might be seeping a little. Or maybe even a lot. Do you think that would be good to get in the picture?"
"It would be great," Greg acknowledged. "But I'm not taking any picture."
"No?"
"Like I said, I wouldn't do that to my girlfriend. And anyway, like you said, it's a scam."
Amelia smiled. "You're so sweet. But one thing. I need to take a picture of you. See, we're having this coolest cock contest."
story by Mat Twassel |
