"I've found us a house," I announced proudly that evening.
"You haven't?" Lola said
"We can't afford one yet," was Tonia's response.
"I have and I don't think it matters," I said smugly.
"What do you mean you don't think it matters?" Tonia asked. "Of course it matters. You can't just waltz off and buy a house. We haven't enough money."
"We won't have to pay for it immediately. It isn't on the market yet and I think we can persuade the owner to wait until we have the money."
"Neat trick," Lola said suspiciously.
"If you can pull it off. Highly embarrassing if you can't," Tonia said.
"Anyway it isn't in our plan to buy a house yet," Lola said.
"We can change the plan, can't we?" I asked.
"We can, but only for a good reason."
"Isn't a house a good reason?" My good mood was rapidly evaporating.
"Perhaps, if it's the right house."
"I think it is."
"I don't understand this," Tonia said. "You said it wasn't on the market yet. So how did you find it? You can't just walk up to someone and say 'Sell me your house'. Did you get Charles to 'persuade' the owner to sell it?"
"No. It wasn't like that. I thought you'd be pleased instead of acting like I'd killed the cat."
"Perhaps you'd better tell us the full story," Lola said.
I explained how I had come across the house and Mrs Baxter's circumstances. They listened without comment and I could sense their attitude softening.
"So it was just fortuitous?" Tonia said.
"A real stroke of good luck. I only wanted to see what it was like. I never dreamed it would be for sale," I said.
"And this is on the level?" Lola said.
"As far as I know," I said.
"So what's it like, this house of yours?" Tonia asked.
"All I'm going to say is that I think it fits our requirements perfectly but I want you to see it without being influenced by my opinion."
"I take it you like it?" Lola managed a small grin.
"I do."
"And you really believe we could buy it?"
"Uh huh."
"And you believe it's the right place?" Tonia added.
"I do."
"And you think we won't have to pay for it until we can afford it?" Lola again.
"Yes."
"It all sounds a bit too good to be true. Quite by accident you stumble upon a house which is just what we're looking for and the owner just happens to be thinking of selling and…"
I held up a hand. "I know, I know. It does all seem a bit fantastic. But I swear it's all true. What day is it?"
"Thursday," Tonia said. She turned to Lola. "The sun must have fried his brains."
"Or the rain washed them away," Lola chuckled.
"I've been out, day after day, tramping field and hill, braving rain and wind and hail and snow in search of a perfect love-nest for the loves of my life and all I get for my troubles is insulted," I said theatrically.
"The sun really has fried his brains," Tonia laughed.
"I still think it was the rain," Lola added.
"I'm going to make a phone call," was all I said.
"I'm surprised to hear from you so quickly," Mrs Baxter said when I said who I was.
"To tell you the truth, so am I," I laughed. "But the more I've thought about it, the more I'd like to progress things. It really is a beautiful house."
"Yes, it is." Her voice was wistful.
"I was wondering if it would be okay to come and view the house properly on Saturday."
"Saturday? That's rather short notice. I haven't got papers or anything organised."
"Don't worry about that. I would just like to look around and talk to you a bit."
"Well… all right. I suppose Saturday is acceptable. Could you make it the afternoon?"
"That would be fine. Two thirty? Oh, and, Mrs Baxter, please don't worry. I have a feeling everything's going to work out fine."
Tonia and Lola were not entirely happy with spending their Saturday afternoon viewing a house. They were both extremely busy at work during the day and setting up our smokescreen of bank accounts and dummy companies in the evening and they looked on Saturday as their 'wind down' day. They were even less enthusiastic when I made Tonia stop the car in the road outside the property. I had insisted we dress 'casually elegant' or 'elegantly casual' and take Tonia's BMW and that I sit in the back.
"Doesn't look much, does it?" I chuckled at their dour expressions.
"Needs a bit of work, then?" Lola said with some asperity.
"That's the entrance over there. Drive slowly and stop at the bottom of the hill."
Tonia did.
"Oh, my God," Lola gasped as she caught sight of the house. "It's beautiful."
"You bastard," Tonia said. "You knew all along. You've just been stringing us along."
"Thought you might like it," I smirked. "Shall we proceed?"
"Just look at that lawn," Lola enthused. "And it's got a burn and everything. Are there any ducks?"
"Ducks?"
"A burn should have ducks. I like ducks."
"Isn't that a millpond?"
"Same thing."
We drew up at the front door. Again at my insistence, I didn't hand the ladies out of the car. We stepped out and they looked around in wonder.
"It looks even better close up," Tonia said.
Our arrival had been noticed for the front door opened and Mrs Baxter stepped out. I hadn't paid that much attention to her the other day, other than to note she was an attractive woman but, as she stepped out into the sunlight, I realised she was a truly beautiful woman; tall, slender, elegant, refined. Not only that but she, somehow, seemed totally at home in this environment.
"Told you," came Charles's voice in my head. "You can fight it if you like but she's yours."
This occasional habit of his of popping up in my mind when he had assured he couldn't read minds was disconcerting. I had to shelve the thought as I had more pressing matters.
"Mrs Baxter, it's a pleasure to see you again. I hope you don't mind but I brought my partners."
"Partners?" She looked flustered and slightly disappointed.
I introduced Tonia and Lola. "Antonia's the financial whiz and Louise is a legal eagle," I explained.
Poor Mrs Baxter looked completely flummoxed. Tonia stepped forward and took her hand.
"I see he's told you as much as he told us," she said. "He gets some sort of perverted thrill from seeing people squirm. I'm Tonia and she's Lola. That one over there doesn't have a name. We just say 'hey, you' whenever we want something, like money."
Almost despite herself, Mrs Baxter laughed. I grinned for, as I had known she would, Tonia had managed to put the lady completely at her ease within a matter of seconds."
"Then I'm Penelope, known as Poppy," Mrs Baxter laughed. "You're partners?"
"The three of us are The Thompson Partnership."
Poppy's eyes flicked over us. "Partners in more ways than one, I would say," she said. "Oh, I'm sorry, that was rude." Her hand flew to cover her mouth.
Tonia laughed. "But very perceptive. Would you like to show us round your lovely house?"
And lovely it was; as lovely inside as it was out. Most of the original Georgian features were still there; the fireplaces, the ornate cornices, the dados the ceiling roses, the panelled doors. Where renovations or alterations had been done, the new work was carefully done to keep the look and feel of the original.
It was huge. It had over twenty rooms, five bathrooms, two shower rooms, three additional toilets, a utility room, and store rooms and cupboards everywhere. The public rooms were huge, high-ceilinged, light and airy and so beautifully decorated and elegantly furnished I was afraid to sit down.
"Get used to it, buster," Lola whispered. "This is how we're going to be living."
Poppy did her best to sell her house enthusiastically but her heart wasn't in it.
I pulled Tonia aside. "She doesn't want to move," I said quietly. "I'm going to step outside and let you talk to her. You need to know that Charles says she's another recruit." I held up my hand to stem her astonished query. "Charles doesn't run my life. Bear that in mind."
She kissed me lightly on the cheek. "That's why I love you," she whispered.
I explored the back yard. Hah! Some back yard. I found a door - not the one I'd come in by the other day - that led to a flagged patio with a barbecue grill. Beyond it was a small lawn and beyond that a walled kitchen garden. An herbaceous border ran along the wall. I crossed the patio to an open, paved courtyard that ran away from the house. There were outbuildings on two sides of it, probably stables originally and most of them in need of repair. Only the nearest seemed to have been maintained and, from the doors, I assumed they were garages. Still, they looked solid enough and there were definitely possibilities here.
I looked round as a girl on a bicycle came flying into the courtyard from the rear. She caught sight of me and screeched to a halt, dropping her bike and confronting me.
"Who are you? What are you doing here?"
"Miss Baxter, I presume. I'm here to view the house." The family resemblance was unmistakable. She had the same slender frame and fine bones as her mother, the same luminous eyes and soft, dark hair. There was a dirty smudge on one cheek. She was wearing skin-tight jeans, riding boots and a hacking jacket. A protective hat hung from the handlebars. She smelled strongly of horses.
Her shoulders slumped. "Oh, yes. Mummy mentioned something about that." She raised her head to look me in the eye. "You're really not welcome, you know."
"Another one," came Charles's triumphant cry.
"Shut the fuck up, Charles," I thought.
"I know," I said to Miss Baxter calmly. "And I regret the necessity. If I lived here I would hate to have to sell it, too."
Her expression was a picture - somewhere between astonishment and belligerent disbelief. "What do you mean?"
"Exactly what I said. I'm well aware that your mother is being forced to sell up for reasons that I don't know and is most unhappy about it. That's why she's talking to my partners just now."
"Partners? I must see her." She started to brush past me.
"Leave them be." I said quietly but firmly, catching her arm. "Girl talk."
"Girl talk?"
"Yes. Now, perhaps you can tell me all about these buildings and the grounds."
"Your partners are women?"
I nodded.
"Well… okay, I suppose." Then her good manners kicked in and she blushed. "I'm sorry. I'm Catriona Baxter." She stuck out her hand.
I shook the proffered hand solemnly. She had a surprisingly firm grip.
"Known as Cat?" I enquired with a grin.
"Yes." She looked surprised. "How did you know?"
My grin broadened. "It fits you, somehow."
"Fits… Oh," she blushed again. "You mean as in wild cat?" I merely grinned and suddenly she grinned back. "I stink. Would you mind awfully if I cleaned up before I show you around? Ten minutes?"
"Certainly, Catriona. I could always stand downwind of you but, please, be my guest."
"Not Cat?"
I shook my head. "Somehow I feel I must earn that privilege."
She looked at me oddly. "You're weird," she said and turned and ran into the house.
I poked around the out-buildings.
"Well?" Charles demanded. "Are you going to have her? And the mother?"
I sighed. "The idea of a mother and daughter does turn me on, especially a pair as attractive as they are," I said. "But these people have issues. Something's happened to Mr Baxter, and recently. I suspect he's dead and his death was unexpected and tragic. Either that or he's deserted them. I need to find out about that. Then there's Tonia and Lola to consider, and Debbie and Harry, too. How will they feel about, not just one, but two more women in the group?"
"What does it matter?"
"I'm not going through all that again. It matters. Accept it."
Catriona re-appeared looking fresh and scrubbed. She was wearing a pair of fashionable baggy, low-slung jeans, trainers and a red T-shirt with 'Airhead 2004' written on it. I was not a great fan of this 'builder's bum' fashion but I approved of the T-shirt. Her breasts were definitely perky.
"Not sure about the message," I said as she approached.
"Message?"
"On your T-shirt. I suspect you're anything but an airhead."
"They're a band," she said contemptuously. "It's from their UK tour." Then she blushed. "How d'you know I'm not an airhead?"
I tapped the side of my nose. "I have my methods."
"You are awful."
"But you like me?"
She crossed her arms under her breasts. "Jury's still out. I should hate you for wanting to buy my home but I don't."
"Ah, then there's hope for me yet," I said dramatically. She giggled. "Okay. Tell me about these buildings. Are they sound?"
"I don't know. I think so. I mean I don't think they'll fall down or anything but we've rather neglected them - all except the first two which are garages."
"I suspected that. The garage doors were a bit of a give-away. How much land is there?"
"About five acres."
"Whew. What do you do with it?"
"Some of it's rented to Mr McIngle. He has the farm next door where I keep my horse. Mrs McIngle runs a riding school and stable on the side."
"You like riding?"
"I adore it. I wanted to be a show jumper but I'm not built right."
"You look pretty well built to me. I mean you've got all the right bits in the right places - unless you've got a third arm hidden somewhere that you're not telling me about?"
She blushed and giggled. "I meant I don't have the right physique for show-jumping."
"I know. I was only teasing. Don't they talk about a 'good seat' or something like that? A euphemism for 'big bum', I suspect."
She blushed and giggled again. "Are you always like this?"
"Trade secret, lady," I winked. "You were telling me about your land. Where does it stretch to?"
"It'd be better to show you. You can see most of it from up the hill."
"I'd like that but I don't want to get too far away in case my partners finish their conference and, anyway, I'm not really dressed for climbing hills."
"I suppose not. And your 'partners' have finished. They're drinking tea in the kitchen with Mummy."
"That's terrible," I said in a shocked tone. "Drinking tea and they never offered me a cup. I'm sadly neglected, you know."
Another giggle. "You really are weird." She placed one hand upon my arm. "Don't worry, I'll look after you." She meant it as a joke but, in her eyes, there was a deeper, more serious, message.
I patted her hand. "I might take you up on that offer one day," I said, looking her straight in the eye. She caught her lower lip between her teeth and a slow flush spread across her face and down her neck. "For now, though, I think we'd better get back. Your mother and I need to discuss business."
"Yes. Right," she said in a slightly shaky voice.
"What's your horse called?"
"Samson."
"Samson?"
"Because he's big and strong."
"And hairy?"
"Not particularly. Why?"
"Samson was a hairy man, you know. His strength was in his hair. That's why he was killed when Delilah cut it off."
"I didn't know that."
"Not many people do."
"We thought you'd got lost," Tonia said as we entered the kitchen.
"Catriona was telling me about her hairy horse. Any tea in the pot?"
"He's not hairy," Catriona cried
"I think so," Tonia said.
Poppy got up to fetch another cup. "Hairy horse?"
"He says that Samson was hairy and that he lost his strength when his hair was cut."
"There's many a teenager who'd agree with that," Lola said.
Poppy laughed. It was good to see her more cheerful. "He's teasing you, darling."
"I know. He's awfully good at it," Catriona said. "He's weird."
"I don't think that's a very good way to describe our prospective landlord," Poppy said.
"Landlord?" Catriona and I said at the same time.
I looked at Tonia and Lola in confusion. They grinned and Lola winked.
"I think I've just been hoist on my own petard," I groaned sitting down heavily. "Okay, 'partners', fill me in. What masterful scheme have you cooked up, now?"
Tonia and Lola exchanged glances. "Well, 'partner'," Tonia began. "It was you, yourself, who noticed that Poppy was not happy about having to sell up, wasn't it?" I nodded cautiously. "And you remember our discussions about what we'd need in a place; room to expand, staff to run it and all that?" I nodded again. "Well, Poppy knows and loves this house. She's been here ten years and has a whole network of support. We just thought that, since we won't need all the space, it would be silly to throw her out and have to start all over again. So we sort of thought it would be a good idea if she and Catriona just stayed on and we sort of moved in with her." Her voice faltered as she saw the look on my face. "It is a good idea, isn't it?"
I looked round to see four expectant faces watching me. I wondered what the problem was then suddenly realised they were waiting for me to give my approval. I wasn't used that and it took me by surprise. I didn't make decisions. Tonia made decisions. Lola made decisions. They were good at making decisions: I wasn't.
The silence lengthened and the faces began to look anxious. I was going to have to say something pretty soon. I thought about asking Charles for his advice but knew what he would say. On the face of it, it seemed like a good idea. It would solve everybody's problems neatly and simply. And that was the problem; it was too neat and simple.
I looked at Tonia. "Have you told her about us?" I kept my voice flat.
"We've told her about us three and that there'll be more people coming and about the Partnership and the money. And I thought… we thought… Charles might help somewhere down the line."
I nodded and turned to Poppy. "And what about you? Are you comfortable with the idea of selling your house to three people you don't know and who live a rather unconventional lifestyle. Even more, are you happy about the idea of still living here even though you it won't be yours any more?"
She looked pained. "That's rather a brutal way of putting it."
"Better to have it all out in the open just now than for misunderstandings to happen later."
She nodded. "Your lifestyle doesn't bother me. As unconventional lifestyles go, a three-some is fairly mild. As people - well, as you say, I hardly know you at all but, for some reason, I have a good feeling about you." She sighed. "As to staying on - I don't know. Showing you round the house today brought it home how attached I am to it and how big a wrench it would be to leave it. Right now I believe I'd do anything to stay. How I'll feel when you all move in and it hits me that I'm only here on sufferance, I don't know." She shrugged. "Not very good, I'm afraid, but the best I can do."
"Thank you. I appreciate your honesty. Far better to go into something like this with your eyes open than simply hope it'll all turn out for the best."
"Well?" Tonia said when it was clear I wasn't going to say any more.
"Well, what?"
"What do you think?" she exploded. "Do you approve?"
"Do I have any choice?"
"Do you…. Of course you do," she practically screamed. Then it dawned on her that I was winding her up. She stood with a look of thunder on her face and moved determinedly round the table towards me. "Okay. Give, buster, or I'll have your balls cut off and feed them to the ravens."
"Well, now you come to mention it," I said mildly, "I think it might work. And I didn't notice any ravens. There are rooks, though. Or are they crows?"
"You do? You really do?" Lola cried as Poppy gave a small sob and sat down heavily.
"One day I'll pay you back," Tonia growled, grabbing my ears and kissing me soundly. I pulled her to me and made a great show of rubbing her back and fondling her bottom.
"Oof, unhand me you oaf," she said when I let her go.
Lola immediately took her place and received the same treatment.
Catriona was looking from one to the other, her eyes wide, her mouth an astonished O.
"You mean you… and her… and her… all together… the three of you?" she gasped, her face a bright red.
I nodded solemnly and put on a doleful face. "I didn't want to, honestly. But I had no choice. You see…" I paused dramatically, "…I've only got one bed."
The women burst into laughter, I suspect more at the astonished look on Catriona's face than at my attempt at humour. It took a moment for her to realise that she'd been had then she was up out of her chair and beating me with her small fists. "I hate you. I hate you. You set me up and I fall for it every time," she cried, laughing and crying at the same time.
I fended her off as best I could. Still laughing, Poppy pulled her daughter away. "He'll run away if you beat him like that," she chided but her eyes were twinkling.
"What? I'm sorry. I really am. Please don't go?" Catriona wailed, instantly contrite. She looked like she was about to burst into tears.
I took her hand in mine. "I'm sorry Catriona. I shouldn't tease you like that. I won't go, I promise. Will you forgive me?"
She nodded then bit her lower lip and fled from the room.
"That girl's got a serious crush on you," Poppy said, looking at me carefully.
"She's been through a difficult time," I said, looking straight back. "It's bad enough losing your father and thinking you're going to have to leave the place you love but, at her age, it's ten times worse. You should be proud of her, she's a lovely girl."
"I am proud of her. She's coped remarkably well." She noticed our questioning expression. "I suppose, if we are to be living together… I mean in the same house," she shot me a quick glance and blushed, "I should tell you my tale. I'll make another pot of tea."
We settled round the kitchen table.
"My husband was the main shareholder and managing director of an engineering company - Baxindale Engineering. You probably haven't heard of it. They specialised in precision instruments and that sort of thing. They started out small but they were good and the company grew. Kenneth, my husband, was a good engineer." There was pride in her voice. "You must understand I only found out about all of this later but it seems they lost a major contract. I don't know why. They'd had the contract for years and depended on it. Well, you know what the economy's like. New business was hard to find. Kenneth was desperate. He loved that company. He'd built it up from scratch and couldn't bear to see his life's work go to pieces. He started fiddling the books to make it look like the business was profitable when it wasn't. He borrowed money, cashed in insurance policies, anything and everything he could do to keep the business afloat. He was sure that a big contract was just around the corner and he'd be all right if only he could keep going for the next few months.
"The pressure got to him and he started drinking. Oh, he was fine when he was here, which wasn't much, but I understood - the business was his life. I had an inkling things weren't great but I never imagined… Anyway, the drinking got worse and the business was slipping away from him. They found him at his desk one morning. He'd had a heart attack. There was an empty bottle of whisky on the desk beside him."
She buried her head in her hands and burst into tears. I wanted to say something comforting but there were no words. Tonia slid round and put her arm round the sobbing woman's shoulders, rocking her gently as she let all the pain and grief roll over her.
"I'm sorry," she said at last, searching round for a handkerchief. I had Charles create one and passed it to her silently. "You must think poorly of me breaking down like that in front of strangers. It's just that…"
"Say no more," Tonia said gently. "Today's strangers are tomorrow's friends."
I looked at her in astonishment. Where had that piece of homespun wisdom come from?
Noticing my look she said sheepishly. "My Granny used to say that. It's true just the same."
"I know it sounds trite, Poppy, but I'm very sorry about your husband. What I don't understand is how this tragedy affects your lovely home."
"I thought I'd said. Kenneth sold everything; cashed in insurance policies, re-mortgaged the house. I can't afford the repayments. I… I haven't a penny. I'm broke."
She burst into tears again and I realised, for a woman of her background, that admission had cost her a lot. I was troubled. I had agreed to her staying here on the spur of the moment without thinking of the consequences. Charles had said both she and her daughter were suitable candidates for my harem but, right now, I didn't want to contemplate that. There was too much going on to complicate matters even more and, besides, we still hadn't any money. What I did know was that I felt more than sorry for her.
"Poppy," I said, gently but firmly, "I'm going to make no promises. We'll take things one day at a time. For now, we'll buy the house and guarantee you and Catriona can stay here as long as you want. For the rest…" I shrugged, "Tonia and Lola will need to speak to the receivers and see what the position is. We'll see what we can do."
In Poppy's eyes was a mixture of hope, disbelief and suspicion. "But, why? Why would you do this for me? We're barely acquainted."
"In all honesty, I don't know. It's just something I need to do."
"Need to do?"
"Yes. It just feels like the right thing to do." Her eyes were disbelieving. "Look, our lives; Tonia's, Lola's and mine, are very complicated at the moment and, to be brutally frank, the logical thing to do is to wait till you put the house on the market and put in a regular bid for it. You would get the money and move out. That's what normally happens when people buy and sell houses and, from my point of view, it would be simplest and easiest. But I find I can't do that. It will add a whole lot of unnecessary complications but I stand by my offer." I realised my voice was harsh.
She reached over and touched my hand. "I apologise. There's such a thing as looking a gift horse and I should be grateful. I am grateful. It's just all a bit overwhelming, that's all."
I smiled. "I know exactly what you mean. Let's just take it one step at a time and see how it goes. Deal?"
She smiled and it lit up her face. "Deal."
We shook hands. She held on to mine longer than was strictly necessary.
"Go for it," Charles's voice sounded loudly in my head. "Do it. Make her yours."
"Shut the fuck up, Charles," I thought back. "If and when I feel it right, then I'll do it. Not until."
"Wimp. Milksop. Yellow-belly," he taunted.
"Give it a rest, Charles."
"There is one thing," I said to Poppy. "We won't be able to actually buy it for about six weeks. Will that cause a problem?"
Her face fell slightly. "Well… I was hoping…"
"Poppy," said Tonia gently. "Let's look at the reality here. You were going to put it on the market next week? Let's assume that several people are keen to view. You have to make arrangements for them to visit. They may want to come more than once. Then there'll be the surveyors. Then the solicitors will get involved and there'll be the haggling over the price. Then you'll have to set a closing date. Then you'll have to set an entry date and that will have to give you time to find somewhere else to live and arrange for the movers, and so on. Realistically you're talking several months before you'd actually get any money."
"Oh," Poppy said, her face a picture. "I hadn't realised… You must think me very silly."
"Not at all," I said. "It's not every day you have to sell your house."
"Do you have a solicitor?" Tonia asked.
"Well, there's my own one and the company one. But I don't know if they deal with houses."
"I know I shouldn't do this, being an interested party, but, if they don't I can recommend someone."
"Another of your school chums?" I grinned.
"No," she stuck her tongue out at me. "Friend of Lola's ex-boss."
"I really don't know how to say thank you," Poppy said.
"You don't need to. You're helping us as much as we're helping you. We'll be in touch and sort out the details and try to keep the solicitors from blowing a gasket."
It was a quiet journey home. I, for one, was overwhelmed with what we'd just done. We'd committed ourselves to buying a house that would cost the best part of a million pounds and we didn't have a penny. Even if we sold all three flats, we probably wouldn't cover it. It was such a mind-bogglingly large sum of money that my brain was in shock.
"Have we done the right thing?" I asked as we sat down to dinner. By unspoken agreement we were eating out.
Lola gusted a sigh. "Yeah. I think so."
Tonia nodded. "It's a beautiful house. Not quite what I had in mind but I love it."
"Our trip to Spain had better work," I said. "Or we'll be in debtor's prison."
"Actually, we won't." Tonia said. "We haven't signed anything yet and as long as we put that off till after we come back, we'll be okay."
"Doesn't make it any better," I said gloomily.
"You really are a worrywart," Lola laughed. "Have a little faith in your guardian angel."
"You mean Charles?"
"Who else." She leaned towards me, her face and tone serious. "Think about this. Tonia and I have committed our lives to this. If that's not having faith, I don't know what is. So buck up."
That took me aback. She was right. I felt bad about my lack of confidence. They were entirely dependent on Charles and me. It was up to me to make it work.
I painted a confident smile on my face. "Yes. We'll do it."